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"Noah's Journal Entry # 8
| Title: "Noah's Journal" Entry:# 8 Rating: NC-18 Summary: Characters: Noah and Luke. small mention of the actress and Alex. Genre: PWP/Romance Warnings: Strong Language, M/M pairing=Sex Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work. |
1/25 sat.
I asked Luke to write that kiss in my journal. He went and got his diary and told me I could copy what he wrote if I wanted to. So that's what I'm doing.
(Now where's the kiss? Here it is... Awww that's a sweet and hot description. Better get to writing/copying it.)
“Noah took my face and kissed me! I felt faint. Yeah I'm a dork and I don't know why the act of kissing him gets to me like it does. His lips and tongue are delectable. He kissed me, then he moved his head away and gave me a hint of a smile and I smiled shyly back at him. He leaned forward again and rested his head on my forehead then softly brushed the back of his hand across my cheek while he breathed softly on my lips. He looked deep into my eyes I swear he could see what I wanted in the depths of them. He slipped his hand to the back of my neck and drew me to his lips again.
He slowly ran his tongue across my lips and I moaned. I couldn't help it, his kisses are so seductive. He lifted me and set me on his lap, then he continued to lightly lick my lips. I felt his arm touch the small of my back and pull me tighter to him. He continued to gently tickle my lips with his tongue, getting me to slightly part my lips. He gradually introduced his sultry tongue into my mouth and touched my tongue, then he paused just for a moment, as if he was waiting to see how I was going to react. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I brushed my tongue against his, then gently took his bottom lip into my mouth and sucked on it. I wanted to convey that I wanted him, but with innocence because we are taking our time. However, things took a turn, deviated towards sensual and suggestive. We began kissing without discipline. His tongue delved deeper and I could feel the uncompromising strength in his kiss. That kiss became urgent and unyielding. We couldn't stop nor did we want to. I could feel his cock pressing against my butt. I deliberately wiggled on his lap and he groaned and stabbed my mouth with his tongue, moving it in and out steadily. I hitched my breath and kissed him back with fervor, savoring each sweep of his tongue across my lips, teeth, tongue, and the roof of my mouth. I know we are supposed to be going slow, but man. I would have let him take me right there on the couch if he had made a move to undo my pants."
.................
(That is awesome! Luke can write so well. I wonder what else he wrote? Oh, he wrote about me and when we were apart. I shouldn't read this. Maybe just skim through it. Lets see... huhhhh..
“I saw Noah and his co-worker making out on our bed. She had her hand down his pants, massaging his cock. I died. My heart broke right there. I felt so inferior. I never thought he would go back to girls, well, maybe in the back of my mind I did or I had that fear.”
"I feel like he was just using me. For what? I suppose he used me because I let him do whatever he wanted to me and no one else, or so he said, would let him treat them like he treated me. I thought we were perfect together because I love that side of him. I love how he's in charge and controlling. I guess I was just an easy lay. I don't know.”)
............
(OH MY GOD! I never used him! I would never do that. I can't believe he thought that. I REALLY shouldn't be reading this.)
.............
(“I feel so ill writing about this. My stomach is in knots. I thought I really had something with him. I really fell for him fast like the desperate idiot I am. What if he thought I was too needy and clingy. I held on so tightly to him that I lost him. I still love him and I don't know how to get over him. I guess that's why I'm here at Alex's place. I need to forget. I need to realize that Noah-
Sorry, had to leave for a bit. I can't stop crying and I ran out of kleenex so I'm using a roll of toilet paper. I guess I couldn't satisfy Noah after all. He needed something I was unable to him. I wish I knew what it was because I would have done anything for him. Anything to keep him happy. He must have seen whatever he was looking for in that actress. She must be like me and takes whatever Noah dishes out. (serving him and acting compliant and obedient like I did). He found what he was missing; in her, OR he had been looking ALL this time for a female who worships and idolizes him like I do and the actress fit the bill. Enough speculation. There are too many thoughts whirling around in my head and they're giving me a migraine.”)
..............
(How could he have thought I would EVER replace him? That fucking whore did so much damage to Luke! I wish I would've slapped her when I had the chance! I'm glad Luke and I working things out.)
.............
(“When I saw Noah and the actress together on the bed, he and I fought. He tried to explain and I didn't really want to hear it. I saw what I saw and nothing he said could change that. I ended up running away, like I usually do when something is so painful that I cannot deal with it. I can't even call him. He would just keep lying to me. I mean, I WANT to believe him but I'm scared, afraid he's been seeing her for a while already. Now I feel dead inside. Drained and numb. I have no expectations of having any semblance of the happy life I had with Noah.”)
...........
(Oh my God! I can't read anymore of that. It's so sad. My poor baby. He was just as insecure as I was. Now I feel shitty for reading that without his permission.)
..............
That kiss was so, so.. Oh yeah. Afterwards I really wanted to fuck, no, make love to Luke, but something stopped me. I'm still reeling with the thought that he actually broke up with me. I'm still in “protective mode.” The Colonel taught me how to protect myself. He didn't do it consciously though. (Did he ever do ANYTHING with a conscious? Nah.) I learned to keep heart guarded and my mind 2 steps ahead of everyone else's so I wouldn't get hurt. If I did, then it was my own damn fault because I should have seen it coming. Earlier, I went to the library and checked out some books. I'm an official geek now. The last time I checked out a book was when I was in college-
(Wait. No, actually it was a magazine and I didn't check it out, I stayed there and read it. Oh well)
I found some romance books, but not one had a gay couple in it. They only had books about 'straight' sex, but that's okay. The dude behind the desk snickered when I set them down. I was so fucking embarrassed, a rare thing I know. I gave him the evil eye and told him to 'fuck off' after he said 'Happy reading.' I ONLY checked them out to read the sex scenes so I can write somewhat like Luke does. He's great, excellent, at writing descriptions and I've admitted before that I'm turned on by the way he writes.
I read a passage in one of the books and WOW. I can't believe how descriptive it was. It wasn't dirty like the whore-bitch's letter. It was actually pretty tasteful, but I'm going to put my own spin on my entries. I'm more raw, gritty and to the point. Can't wait to try out my new found obsession to write sex scenes. Still might need Luke's help though. To write them I mean. It's a given that I'll definitely need his help to actually act out the sex scenes with me!!
1/26 sun am
Waiting for Luke to wake up and take his shower, then I'm going to make him breakfast. When I woke up this morning, his body was covering mine. It was a wonderful feeling to wake up and feel the warmth from his body on mine and his breath on my skin.
(Hey, that's a pretty good sentence! I don't know where it came from, maybe my heart. Now I'm just getting sentimental. No, just the mental. Heh-heh. SHIT!!! The phone is gonna wake up my guy! Who the hell is calling this early on a fucking sunday?!! OH FUCK!)
................
Guess the fuck what!!! I blew off the Colonel yesterday. I totally forgot about him. HA HA!! He just called a few minutes ago otherwise I wouldn't have given it one thought. I told him some unforeseen shit happened and I couldn't help it. Like the fucker that he is, he went off on me. This is what he used to say to me when I was a teenager; 'You're a useless, stupid ingrate and will never amount to anything. You're a piss poor excuse for a son. etc, etc..' Now he tells me, 'You're ungrateful and you don't appreciate what I went through to make our life better. You don't realize everything I have done for you. You were lucky-'
That's where I stopped him and said, 'Lucky? You want to know what IS lucky? Lucky is having my own life and having you out of it! I don't fucking need this shit from you COLONEL!' then I threatened to hang up. He was silent while he calmed down, but I know he was turning red, gritting his teeth, and making a fist with one hand and clutching the phone with the other until his knuckles were white. I'm sure he was thinking how he'd love to beat the shit out of me. No one talks to the Colonel like that, but I don't fucking give a rat's ass what he thinks. I never talked back to him or sassed him while I was living with him, so what's he going to do now? Yell? I'll just hang up on him! He needs me and he knows that I know it. Anyway, back to the conversation. He asked me and my “fiance”-
(That is too fucking funny. I had to hold the phone on my chest and cover my mouth so he couldn't hear me laughing. I'm probably going to hell for lying, but it's so worth it!)
the pregnant with his grandchild, beautiful actress on t.v, to come next saturday. I snickered to myself and agreed to come if he apologized to me. He sighed loudly to let me know how put off he was and kind of mumbled it. I want what I want and nothing is going to change that. I figure I'm gonna punish him and make it two weeks cuz that's just the kind of asshole I am to him. So I told him that I didn't hear him and I couldn't come next week. He said “Sorry son.” I almost dropped the phone and vomited right there! HE has the fucking NERVE to call me SON?? It made me so fucking furious!! I'm thinking the next time I see him will be my time to shine!!! I'll come clean about all the lies I've told him about my life. It will shock his dried up, pebble-sized, fucking heart. Yeah, then I will never see the bastard ever again cuz maybe my confessions would kill him!
(I shouldn't write that, but I have NO emotions whatsoever when I think about the Colonel. I guess that I feel anger and hatred. I have to let those emotions go and come to terms with the fact that I control my actions and my future. I want to be at peace with myself and not harbor this resentment for the Colonel that could potentially backfire in my relationship/marriage with Luke.)
1/28 tue
Things at work are going well. What can I really say about taping a soap? Luke and I are getting along. We've been talking a lot. Anyway, this is more of what I remember from the previous week. He told me in the middle of the night, one of these past nights, he would never ever leave me again. I told him he better not. He promised, but then he said that he felt like he wasn't good enough for me anymore and I was going to suddenly realize that what I was doing, being with another man, was a sin. He told me he thought that he had lost me forever when he saw me with the actress and I was with her because he didn't satisfy me anymore. I didn't tell him I read that in his diary. I let him express what he had been thinking.
I reassured him that I had nothing to do with the whore-bitch, that he did satisfy me more than I ever thought possible and I grew up with a Colonel who thinks being gay IS a sin. I joked and told him that I thought sinning with him is fantastic. We cuddled some more and he said that he loved me so much, that he never stopped and he couldn't believe I could forgive him. Another night we talked about what happened after he saw the bitch on top of me. He said he didn't know what to do or where to go after we argued, so he went to the one person who had listened to him before. Who didn't judge him or try to give him advice or force their opinions on him, like his family tends to do. That person had been Alex. The motherfucker. I knew this already, but hearing how Luke describes him, like he's a fucking saint or a hero, just irks me.
Actually, I GUESS he's not that bad. He did help Luke, well that's what Luke tells me anyway. According to Luke, Alex told him to call me the first night he left to get the whole story. Luke admitted that he wasn't ready to talk to me at that time. He was hurting because he thought that I was having an affair with the bitch way before he even caught her with me. Now I think I'm up to date. Last night, after I got home from work, Luke called and said he was running late because he had to make a deadline. I have to admit I was concerned and asked him if Alex was staying late too. He said yes, but that he loves me and wouldn't do anything to mess up our relationship, then he said he loves me. I huffed angrily and said, 'Whatever, Bye!' then I hung up. I know sometimes I can be a fucking bastard and I was. I called him back and said I was sorry for acting like a jackass, I love him too, and I trust him completely. He breathed a sigh of relief and made a kissing sound on the phone. So, everything is cool there.
While he was gone I made supper and put it in the fridge to heat up so when he gets home we can eat together. I was bored so I leafed through a romance novel and read certain parts and I started to get a boner!! There I was sitting in the living room with a semi-hard on, so I watched t.v and it went away. Later, I went to the bedroom with the intention to write in this journal. I had this damn book open too, but I started thinking about Luke and got a humongous hard on that was just begging for attention.
Luke and I aren't back to having sex yet, so I had to do something. I tore off my clothes, got the KY, and got on the bed. I got my fingers lubed up and I finger fucked myself doggy style. 2 fingers up my ass feels awesome, but 3 is so much better. However, no mater how hard I push, twist, and turn my fingers, I can never reach that spot that Luke can. I was thinking of him fucking me while I was gliding my fingers in and out of my ass just longing for his cock. I wanted that rounded smooth tip to touch my lips, or have his lips around my cock. I love watching my cock move in and out of his gorgeous mouth and his beautiful eyes staring up at me as if looking for approval or praise, which I always give him cuz he sucks my cock so well.
So I'm playing with myself, on our bed, 3 fingers and 2 knuckles deep in my ass, WITH my ass up in the air, thinking how hot Luke is and I how much I want him. I want him so bad. And then THERE HE IS! Standing in the doorway, staring at me, and grinning.
(How does he fucking do that? He knows when I'm being naughty and playing with myself! Is that what 'gaydar' is? I don't know. No, I remember Luke told me what it meant. What I really want to know is how he knows when to catch me?!! He's got some kind of damn alarm in his head that goes off and says, “Noah's getting off right now! Go watch him!”)
I didn't move a muscle. I was really turned on because what I was wishing for was standing there; watching me play with myself. He drawled out innocently, 'whattchya doin' there Noahhhh?' I laughed and said, 'can't you fucking tell? Come on pretty boy, get naked then get your hot little ass over here now.' He laughed too and asked 'what happened to going slow?' I told him we could forget about that just for tonight. He agreed and got undressed. I saw him walk to the bed and lie down. I told him, 'uh-uh get up, I want you to fuck me. I'm ready for your cock right now.' I think he would have fallen off the bed if we didn't have a headboard to stop him. I heard his breath become shallow and he asked excitedly, 'Are you sure?'
(He was so excited that he sounded like some kid getting 3 wishes from a genie or something.)
I told him yes, that I was sure as shit and to hurry up his little ass. He scurried behind me and touched my back tenderly with his hands to let me know he was there, then I felt just the head of his cock enter my ass. He asked if it hurt. I shook my head cuz I was rendered speechless. He ran his hands up and down the length of my back; eventually settling on my hips. He bent over, leaned on my back and kissed the nape of my neck, then he said, 'I love you Noah.' and I said it back to him. He kissed my ear and shoulder while he slowly, painlessly, and effortlessly inched his whole cock into me.
He is the most gentle, careful and delicate person I know. I am enamored at how tender and thoughtful he is. I asked him to pick up the pace, so he placed both hands on my upper thighs and begins pumping his cock into me. I forgot how good that felt. It was really fantastic. I told him that I love it when he sticks his big cock in my ass. He moaned and whispered, 'tell me more Noah.' I wonder if I've created a monster, but I say, 'I love it when you fuck me baby, your cock feels so good in my ass. Fuck me Luke, I want you to fuck me good.” He groaned or moaned, hell he could have even melted by the sound of the noise he made.
He likes me to talk dirty to him, but now our roles were sort of reversed. I start pushing back against his hips and we get into this rhythm where he's thrusting in and out while my body is rocking back and forth. The bed was shaking by the forcefulness of our fucking. He was hitting my prostrate and pounding it with his cock each time. I could hear him moaning and grunting. I yelled to him, 'Oh shit, your cock is so fucking hard baby! Faster bitch! Harder and deeper! Drive that big cock up my ass.' Then I feel him fucking me stronger. He was panting and I felt every solid inch of him because his cock was throbbing extra hard inside me. He moved his body faster and then he reached around me and fisted my cock. I groaned, 'Yeahhh baby. That's how I like it.' He stroked it fast, then slow, then he sped up again. That and the thought of his warm cock juice shooting into my ass, made me almost blow my load.
It wasn't much longer that I felt a surge from my nuts to my cock, then it spasmed and shot all over the fucking place. Luke let my dripping, softening cock go and grasped my hips firmly. He rammed me unexpectedly hard and furiously. After pounding into my ass a few more times, he shouted that he was going to cum. I told him, 'Give me that cum Luke! Blast my ass with it!!!' I felt him tense up, then he pushed himself as far into me as he could and came. He collapsed on top of me, heaving and breathing heavily. Next, I heard him whimper so I reached for him and layed him on the bed. He looked up at me with his eyes brimming with tears. As they started to fall, I saw something beneath his beautiful brown eyes. Pure love, contentment, and gratitude. I bent over him and kissed him gently and layed next to him. He turned his body into mine and I held him there for a long time, kissing his tears and his swollen mouth. He is so giving of himself and words cannot express how much I care about him. He is so beautiful.
september25 |
Latest page update: made by september25
, Nov 23 2008, 2:10 AM EST
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | |
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| september25 | Entry # 8 | 3 | Nov 23 2008, 8:20 AM EST by Lotsip | |
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Thread started: Nov 23 2008, 2:13 AM EST
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Sorry, the Wiki wasn't working and I couldn't get my chapter posted.
It's here now. Thanks for your patience. |
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| Volver | "Noah's Journal Entry # 8 | 4 | Nov 22 2008, 1:03 AM EST by Kan-kan | |
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Thread started: Nov 21 2008, 5:59 AM EST
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Okay.... I wait and wait and wait... NOTHING!!! Girl it´s your damn fault if I lose my job... because in 5 minutes I have meeting and have nothing better to do just checking about "Noha´s Diary"?????!!!! LOL... don´t worry I never lose my job... to the contrary I get a bonus for my work at the us elections program. But now I have to work.... later maybe this evening....
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