Title: "What If" in High School Chapter: Chapter 5 Rating: PG Summary: Luke and Noah discuss their relationship. Characters: Luke, Noah, Win Genre: AU, Humor Warnings: None Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Noah watched Luke, sitting Indian style, thinking of an answer. He didn’t really know what was going to happen next.

“Well…I…we…You know, I’m really hungry and I know this great waffle place about twenty minutes away, can we talk about it there? I’m starving.”

Noah didn’t know whether to feel disappointed because Luke didn’t really answer the question, or whether to feel happy that he would get to hang out with Luke. He sided with happy and agreed to go out to eat.

As they both got up and made themselves look decent enough to be seen in public, Noah heard someone’s cell phone ring.

“It’s me,” Luke said grabbing at his pocket in his jacket. “It’ll just take a sec.”

Noah nodded and decided to check his cell phone to see if his dad called. Of course, he did. Noah pointed to his cell phone and nodded towards the door to Luke, indicating he was going to call someone outside.

Before he completely left the room, Noah heard part of Luke’s phone conversation:

“Dad…no wait, calm down! Ok, tell me what’s going on…”

He walked outside and called the Colonel back.

“Son, where are you?”

Good morning to you too, Noah thought.

“I’m uh…I’m at a friend’s house. Why?”

“Well, I’m at the apartment, and you’re not. That’s why.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow, so I stayed with a friend.”

“A friend? Well, I suppose that’s fine. What time are you going to be home? I would like to discuss some things with you.”

Noah did not like the sound of that.

“Well, I’ll be home in a few hours. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

“Fine. And Noah? Who’s this friend of yours?”

Noah heard the sound of a door closing and saw Luke.

“Dad? I’ve got to go, but I’ll tell you about it later ok?”

“Noah, what—“

“Bye dad, I’ve really got to go!”

“Fine then.”

Noah heard the sound of his father hanging up the phone and turned to Luke.

“That was your dad,” Luke asked.

“Yeah, but from the part I heard, your dad’s conversation seems more important. Is everything ok? ”

“Well, my mom went into labor, and since she’s not exactly a teenager, they’re worried about complications because she’s about a month early.”

“Wow. Do you, um, do you need me to take you somewhere?”

“The hospital would be good.”

“Right. Sure, no problem.”

“Thanks. You know, you’re not as bad as they say you are Noah Mayer,” Luke said with a smile.

Noah gave a quick smile and climbed into his side of the truck while Luke did the same.

They drove in silence for a few moments, and Noah was getting nervous.

“So,” Luke began. “I was thinking about that question you asked me earlier.”

Noah glanced at Luke quickly before adverting his attention back to the road.

“Yeah,” Noah finally said.

“And…I don’t really know. I mean, I want to hang out with you and get to know you, if that’s ok.”

“Yeah!” Noah could hear the eagerness in his voice and corrected himself by saying it again in an even tone.

He looked over at Luke to find him smiling at him again.

“Good. I was hoping you would say that.”

They arrived at the hospital and Luke got out, but walked over to Noah’s side of the truck.

“So, I’m thinking you should call me or something tonight after I get home. That is, if you don’t have any hot Saturday night plans.”

“Um, no, not really,” Noah said with a half smile. “Yeah, I’ll uh…I’ll call you.”

“Cool,” Luke said, and then looked around the parking lot. Noah watched Luke as he stepped up on the railing on the truck and leaned towards Noah.

“Looking forward to getting to know you, Noah,” Luke said then gave Noah a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Me too,” Noah said, and he knew he was blushing for sure.

Noah saw Luke bite his lower lip then step down and walk towards the hospital.
He watched Luke walk all the way up to the doors and into the building.

Noah put the truck in reverse, pulled out of the parking lot, and headed home.

He couldn’t help but think on his way home, about what had just happened. What just really happened? What is it about Luke that makes him act the way he does? What if he never met Luke? What if he showed up the office on that first day of school a few minutes later? What if he never met Casey? Would he still have met Luke?

Noah made himself stop thinking. He’s had to do that before, getting lost in his own thoughts, making himself quit before he questioned too many things. Too many good things. He decided that people should never spend too much thinking about all the “what if’s” in life because no matter what you do or say, you still can’t change them.

Noah walked into his apartment and tossed his keys into the change dish on the counter.

“Dad, I’m home. You here?”

“Noah, there you are.”

“Yeah, sorry. I just—“

“So tell me about this friend. Is it someone your interested in? A girl?”

Yeah, Noah thought. It is someone I’m very interested in, but it’s not a girl.

“His name’s Luke. We, uh, we went to a party last night and I drove him to his house because he had too much to drink, but I ended up crashing there too.”

“And his parents were fine with that?”

“Uh, yeah. They were.” Noah had never lied to his father before. But then again, he’d never had a reason to until now.

“Good. Mayer’s don’t impose where they’re not welcome.”

“Right.”

“Well, I wanted to discuss fall break and your school year with you.”

“We’re not moving are we? I just started school, and I really love it here!”

“Noah, compose yourself. No, we are not moving. But, I looked at your school schedule and it fits in perfectly.”

“Perfectly with what?”

“When I was gone, I was talking with Major Hirsch, and there’s going to be a gathering in Branson, and we’ll be attending. It’s lasts exactly the time you have fall break. Most likely, we’ll get there a day early, stay for the weekend, and head back Sunday afternoon.”

Noah knew his father obviously had it all figured out, and he knew he shouldn’t intervene with the plan.

“Ok.”

“Since I’ll be spending most of the time with my comrades, why don’t you bring your friend along? I don’t want you to be alone.”

Noah had two thoughts: Wow, thanks dad for scheduling my fall break so it accommodates your life, which I won’t even see you on, and; Wait, a whole weekend to spend with Luke?!

“Um, I’ll see. If it’s all right, I’m going to go to my room.”

“Fine. I’ll come in and check on you later.”

“Ok.”

Noah walked down the hall and into his room. He grabbed his laptop, laid on his bed, and turned on his iPod and began to get lost in his own world. Music seems to never fail him when he needs to escape and can’t watch an old movie.

He let the words fill his mind and thoughts, while he turned on the laptop.

Noah check his email while bobbing his head along with the music.

He didn’t have any new messages, which meant nothing had changed since he last checked before the party.

The irony made Noah laugh a little. Nothing had changed online, but in real life, everything was changing.

His thoughts from earlier crept up on him, despite his struggle. This time though, they were really just him assessing the situation at hand.

What am I? You’re gay. Am I? Don’t you love the feeling you get when you’re around Luke? Yeah. Then you’re gay. That makes me gay? Wanting to be around Luke? No. Then what does? Because you think about him more than you know you should, and you don’t mind it. Oh. So what do I do now? Talk to him. Make sure he feels the same way you do. I can’t. Why not? I’m scared. Of what? Being rejected again. I’ve been there too many times before. You won’t know until you try. I know. Then do it!

Noah closed his eyes and shook his head. He could have sworn he went crazy there for a minute.

He just continued to let the music fill his head, and felt his head start to fall to the side out of exhaustion Noah tried to wake up, knowing his dad doesn’t like it when people waste away the day by sleeping, but finally gave up and rested his head on his pillow.

“Noah…Noah.” The voice he heard was so familiar. Then he knew.

“Luke, what are…where am I?” Noah looked around and realized his was laying in a bed with Luke. Luke didn’t have a shirt on and was cupping his hand to Noah’s face.

“You’re in my dorm. Don’t you remember,” Luke asked with a grin.

“Dorm? We’re in college?! What year is it?”

“2008. Are you feeling ok babe,” Luke said putting his hand on Noah’s forehead.

Noah had no idea what was going on.

“I’m fine…I just. I was laying on my bed and then…” Noah stopped and just looked at Luke. “ 2008…and we…we’re together?”

“Yep. You’re stuck with me forever,” Luke said with a laugh.

Noah looked up at Luke and grinned.

“So…what are we doing? I mean today, what are we doing today?” Noah pushed back all the logistics of what was going on and gave in the fact he was with Luke, alone.

“Well,” Luke began, slightly lifting up so he was looking down at Noah, tracing his finger down Noah's chest, “ I was thinking about laying here a little longer, then going out.”

“Sounds good.”

“But there’s just one thing.”

“Ok.”

“I need you to wake up, “ Luke said, but it didn’t sound like Luke’s voice.

“What?”

“Wake up,” the voice said again.

Noah snapped back and woke up with sweat rolling down is forehead and gasping as he sat up.

“Why are you sleeping during the day, son? You know that’s not the way to spend the day.”

“S-sorry. I just…I was really tired I guess.”

“It’s ok this time, just don’t do it again.”

“Yes sir.”

“Go out for a few hours with your friends.”

Noah was still trying to grasp what just happened.

“Ok,” he managed to say.

Noah’s father walked out of Noah’s room and closed the door behind him.

Noah rested his head in his hands. What the hell just happened?! He thought.

He looked up and noticed it was about five o’clock. How long had he been asleep? Then he remembered he was supposed to call Luke.

Five o’clock, is that too early? It’s too early. I’ll grab my cell and a book and head over to the park and read then call Luke. Ok, go.

Then Noah shook his head again. He really thought he was going crazy.

He headed out the door and told his dad he was going to hang out with some friends.

Yeah, he thought, my friend Holden Caulfield.

As he pulled up to the park, he spotted the perfect place to sit and read. It was under a tree, and its leaves where starting to change into all the beautiful colors of fall.

Noah sat and read as he found himself blurring the lines between his life, and the characters, thinking he was Holden for the time being.

He looked around a few hours later and noticed it was dark and decided that it was probably late enough to call Luke.

After gathering the courage several minutes later, he finally pushed send, and listened to the dial tone.

Crap, he thought. I have no idea what to talk about! Stupid!

But before he could do anything, there was a voice at the other end of the line. Luke’s voice.

“Hello?”