Title: Blurred Flashes Chapter: Blurred Flashes Rating: PG Summary: The pain Luke felt was the worst thing he had ever experienced in his entire life. Characters: Luke and Noah Genre: Angst, Drama Warnings: Tear-jerker Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

The morning was very dark when Luke opened his eyes. He almost thought it was in the middle of the night for a moment before glancing at his clock.

8:15.

’Great,’ he thought, ‘I’m going to be late.’

Within, what seemed like, seconds, Luke was downstairs and beginning to get himself some breakfast. After pouring a cup of coffee, Luke noticed Noah sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong, Noah?” Luke asked after he walked up to him.

“My head,” Noah answered quickly and he began to rub his temples.

Trying to sooth his boyfriend, Luke brought his hands up and began to rub Noah’s shoulders. It was different. Touching Noah usually was way more intimate than this. Luke put it in the back of his mind and kept trying to make his boyfriend feel better.

The next thing Luke knew, Noah was standing up and saying something about getting to work.

“Noah, if you don’t feel well, you don’t have to go to work.”

“It’s alright, really,” Noah spoke and he turned to leave.

After taking only a couple of steps, he lost his balance and almost fell down onto the floor. Luckily, he was able to grab onto the counter to steady himself.

“Geezus, Noah!” Luke gasped and ran to his side. “You need to get upstairs and lie down.”

Noah was breathing funny and his face lost all of its color. He swallowed hard, and wobbly stood up.

“I… uh… “Noah gulped.

“Do you feel sick? Do you need to throw up?” Luke was already walking Noah to the bathroom.

“No… I just… need… “

And that was it. Noah collapsed to the floor.

“NOAH!” Luke screamed and he was sure he awoke the entire house.

The next few minutes were a blur, because, suddenly, Luke was standing in the middle of a waiting room. Noah was taken to the hospital and wheeled away on a stretcher so they could find out what was wrong with him.

Even though he didn’t remember doing it, Luke knew he called everyone that needed to be there and how now was time to wait.

Another blurred moment passed and a doctor Luke had never seen before came out to speak with him.

“Hey Luke,” the man said calmly and continued to speak with him as if he’s known him all his life. “We gave Noah an MRI scan, and it looks like he suffered a brain aneurysm and then a stroke.”

“A STROKE?!” Luke screamed and physically felt all of the air escape his lungs.

“Yes, I’m sorry,” the doctor apologized and then continued, “We’re not sure how long the aneurysm has been affecting him, but the stroke is what made him sick this morning. His brain is swelling, and we’ll be taking him into surgery to remove a piece of his skull so his brain won’t be crushed inside his head.”

Luke just nodded, and tried to process it all.

“Can I just see him before he goes to surgery?”

“Of course,” the doctor agreed and in a flash they were inside Noah’s room.

There were so many different machines on Noah, and Luke didn’t recognize any of them. He slowly walked over to Noah and grabbed onto his hand. Noah looked at him with tired eyes, and tried to smile. It didn’t really look like he suffered a stroke.

“Hey,” Luke spoke softly and leaned down to Noah’s level. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah,” Noah whispered and gripped Luke’s hand gently. Luke knew that it was as hard as Noah could manage, though.

“They’re going to be taking you into surgery now,” Luke could hear his voice cracking, but managed not to let any tears shed. “I’m going to be right here when you get back, okay?”

Noah didn’t move.

“Okay?” Luke repeated.

“Okay,” Noah whispered roughly and looked Luke in the eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Luke cried, and suddenly Noah was on a gurney and being wheeled into a large room. Someone was pulling Luke away and for some reason he was resisting.

The time rushed by again, and all of a sudden, the doctor was walking back out shaking his head with a frown on his face. Luke walked up to him.

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

The doctor just stared at him. He seemed speechless.

“Tell me he’s okay!” Luke was crying now and the room felt as if it was spinning around him.

“He didn’t make it.”

That was it. Luke fell down on the floor and pulled his knees up to his face. There were so many thoughts running through his head as he began to sob. Just question upon question that he knew would go unanswered.

’Why?’

‘How?’

‘Why now? Why did he leave me? How did it happen? How could he leave me?’

The aching in his heart was almost too much. He felt light-headed and gasped to breath.

In a flash, he was standing with his mother’s arms wrapped around him.

“What’s the matter, Luke?” she asked cheerfully.

“Noah’s dead,” Luke sobbed and buried his face in his mother’s shoulder.

“Yes,” the doctor added, “What did you want to do with the body?”

“Well, clean him up and send him to the morgue,” Holden spoke and it shook Luke out of his trance.

“What?” Luke gasped. “Do we have to worry about this now? I just lost my boyfriend! Isn’t there a mourning period?”

“Luke, this is stuff that we need to take care of,” Lily spoke sweetly into his ear.

“Mom!?” Luke shrieked and then looked towards his dad who was chatting with the doctor.

Luke stepped back and placed his hands over his ears. ’I need to get out of here. I just need to be alone and think about Noah.’

“Luke?” his mother continued to call, “Luke? What’s wrong?”

“Leave me ALONE!”

The scream was so loud he heard it through the hands covering his ears. He felt another rush and the next thing he knew, he was lying in his bed. Immediately, he sat up and glanced around his room. He didn’t understand anything anymore.

’Was it a dream? Or am I just so upset that today was just a blur?’

Luke jumped out of bed and looked out the window. It was still dark. He took a look at the clock. 3:50.

He ran out into the hallway. Everything was quiet. No one was awake. Things felt… normal.

Luke bolted to Noah’s room, down the hall from him. After opening the door, sure enough, there was a figure sleeping in the bed. Not caring how desperate he felt, he ran to the bed and jumped on it.

“Noah!”

Luke shoved him hard.

“NOAH!”

Noah’s eyes shot open and he sat up and looked at Luke.

“Damn, Luke. It’s late. What’s going on?”

Luke tried to speak, but nothing could come out. He burst into tears and let Noah wrap him in his arms.

“Hey,” Noah said as he tried to calm Luke. “What is it?”

Noah was rubbing Luke’s back, and letting him cry on his shoulder. When Luke finally calmed after a few minutes, he pulled away and looked at Noah.

“What’s wrong?” Noah asked quietly and gently combed Luke’s hair off of his forehead.

“I had a dream and…”

“A dream?”

“Noah, just listen. You were sick and then… you died. The pain I felt was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.” Luke began to cry again and fell back into Noah’s arms.

Noah was silent. He didn’t know what to say. The man he loved just had a nightmare that he died. As Luke continued to sob, Noah continued to comfort him.

“Shh,” he whispered and rubbed circles on his back. “It’s alright, I’m here.”

Luke looked up again.

“Will you promise me that you’ll never leave me?” Luke’s lip trembled.

Noah knew that no person could promise that, but that Luke needed to hear it.

“Luke, I love you more than anything. We are going to be together for the rest of our lives, and I will never leave you.”

“I love you, too. Can I… stay here for the night?”

“But your grandma?” Noah asked hesitantly.

“We aren’t doing anything. I don’t want to be alone. I just want you to hold me.”

Noah couldn’t argue. They laid back together on the bed and Noah wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Noah continued to whisper in his ear.

Something to make Luke smile.

It wasn’t long before Luke fell back asleep.

This time, dreaming sweet dreams about the man that loved him.