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Break-up
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Title: Break-up
Chapter:1 of 1
Rating:G
Summary:
Characters:Luke, Noah
Genre:AU
Warnings:None
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.
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“No, Noah. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be with you if you are not able to open up to me.”
“But Luke! Please, I – I need you. Don’t leave me.”
“What do you need me for? All I do is helping you with your assignments for school or telling you where your stuff is.”
“That’s not true. You help me being a better person. You help me accepting myself, Luke”
“Maybe so. But you never talk to me about what’s going on in your head – in your heart. Don’t you trust me enough?”
“Of course I trust you. More than anyone.”
“Then why are you so distant, Noah?”
“I am not. I – .“
“Yes, you are. Every single time I ask you what’s going on you give me this ‘I am okay’ – crap. You tell me that everything’s fine, but I know it’s not.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“See? You are doing it again, Noah. I just – I am sorry, but I don’t want a boyfriend who can’t talk to me. I – uh – I gotta go.”
It’s ten thirty in the morning and Noah’s film editing class is in full play. Everyone around him is paying attention to the professor’s interesting and instructive speech about the newest cutting techniques. To Noah the noises coming out of that man’s mouth sound boring and irrelevant. How can he care about anything his professor is saying when his mind only revolves around Luke and their ‘break-up’? Because that’s what it was, right? Luke didn’t call, he didn’t stop by at his dorm room or at Java’s. They haven’t spoken to each other for five days now. One-hundred-twenty-six hours and thirty-two minutes to be exact. ‘God, how pathetic am I? Counting hours and minutes?’ rushes through Noah’s busy mind. ‘Well, at least I am not counting the seconds’
He stares into thin air while scribbling some symbols on the cover of his writing pad. His tired and heavy head rests on the ball of his left hand. The last few nights weren’t really restful for him. Falling asleep was getting harder and harder. And even if he manages to get into that usually peaceful state, he wakes up shortly after. Every time he closes his eyes Luke’s hurt and still gorgeous looking face appears behind his eye lids. ‘I just want to touch his face again. Breathe in his scent. Kiss his lips.’ thinks Noah letting out a low but still noticeable sigh. They can’t be over. Not like that. ‘I love him and I am sure he still loves me. Why do we keep doing this to each other? Why can’t we just be happy and enjoy what we have?” wonders Noah not noticing that the girl sitting next to him keeps eyeing him.
“Luke! Luke! Hey, can I borrow a piece of paper?” whispers an unfamiliar voice.
Hearing that name pulls Noah out of his reverie. He turns his head to the direction the soft whispers were coming from. He knows that guy couldn’t mean his Luke, but he feels the urge to look anyway.
“Sure. Here you go.” replies a guy with dark hair, green eyes and a round face.
Noah’s sad eyes take in the sight of the guy called Luke, but just after a few seconds he turns his head back again and continues staring into space. With every breath that he takes he feels his heart breaking a little bit more. Every second he can’t be with Luke is a wasted one. Every conversation, every achievement means nothing if he can’t share it with him. He hasn’t seen Luke for five days now but those days feel way longer to him. Seconds make him think of Luke. Minutes let Noah miss the blonde and spending hours without his boyfriend bring him close to tears. And making it through the days somehow, almost drain the rest of life he has in him out of his already weak and exhausted body.
“Heartbreak?” asks a gentle female voice touching his hand with her tiny but warm hand.
He startles at the sudden touch and snaps out of his thoughts. Noah doesn’t like the woman’s touch on him right now. He pulls his hand away wanting to get rid of the heat of that stranger’s skin.
“What?” Noah asks trying to sound as politely as he could be right now.
“Bad break-up?” tries the blonde again.
“What makes you ask that?” replies Noah shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
The feeling of insecurity and shame stir up in him. He doesn’t want to talk to some stranger about his problems or about his god damn feelings. There is only one person on this whole planet he wants to be with right now. But he can’t, because that one person doesn’t want to be around him anymore. Or can’t be. At this moment it doesn’t make a big difference to Noah. Luke gave up on him and that is hurting him more than he thought was possible. Luke always fought for him, always supported him, and helped him through all the bad times. And now the most important person in Noah’s life is gone.
“The broken hearts and initials you scribbled on your pad were a give-away. Plus your eyes look so sad. Just – heartbroken.” answers the girl playing with her longish straight hair.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Really, I am fine” Noah replies and flinches after saying that last part. Hearing those words coming out of his mouth remind him of the last conversation he had with his boyfriend or the correct term would be ex-boyfriend now.
“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine to me.” says the female in a caring and gentle tone.
“I said I am fine.” snaps Noah at the girl. He really doesn’t want to be rude, but he just has to find a way to shut her up.
“Jeez, I just wanted to help.” Is the last sentence coming out of the female’s mouth.
Noah feels the urge to say he’s sorry, but decides not to. After this class he won’t meet her again anyways, so why the effort?
“Mr. Mayer, if you are not interested in this course, feel free to go home.” says his professor. Noah can feel all eyes on him and it is making him more than just uncomfortable. He is sure people can see his miserable mood. He looks around his class and pictures what is going on in his class mates heads.
‘Isn’t that the guy that got dumped? Oh, that must be the one that drove his boyfriend away. What a loser! Can’t even make his relationship work, how will he ever pass the next exam?’
“Well, Mayer? Do you want to stay or not? If you decide to stay I want you to pay attention and work with us, understood?” the professor repeats.
Noah doesn’t have to think for a second. He simply starts packing his stuff and gets up. ‘Why should I stay? I can’t concentrate anyway. I just want to crawl in my bed and die.’ he thinks.
A few minutes later his exhausted body finds its way to his dorm room. A piece of paper sticks at the door with the simple message “Won’t come to the dorms after class. Will be spending the night at Sarah’s place. Try to have some fun without me. Steve.”
Noah pulls of the paper and steps inside the small room. When he was alone with Luke in his dorm room he appreciated the tiny space. That way his boyfriend could never be too far away from him. He loved being close to Luke and feel the heat of his body. The gasket of the windows sucked, so it was nice to have Luke’s body to warm him up. But now all this room represents is a cold, tiny and lonely shithole.
He throws his backpack and his jacket onto his desk chair. Next thing he knows he is lying in his uncomfortable and pretty unstable bed. His lovesick body is covered with blue sheets trying to keep the cold away from him. The TV is showing some chick series where a woman just got dumped. “Well, guess I am not the only one.” Noah says to himself. After watching the show for a few minutes he found out that this woman had started dating her best friend and now that it was over, she felt the need to talk to her friend, but knew she couldn’t, because that guy was the man who dumped her just days ago. And almost like fate her ex-boyfriend’s name was Luke.
“Welcome to the club, Lorelai.” he says out loud and continues watching the show.
What surprises him is the fact that Lorelai actually calls her best friend, but she only reaches his answering machine and leaves a message to beg him to come see her. That she needs her friend to get over her ex. But only seconds later she tries to break into his apartment and tries to steal the tape from his answering machine.
‘Why do relationships look so easy in movies and on TV? Or am I just too stupid? Luke thinks I don’t trust him, because I don’t talk about my feelings. Doesn’t he know that I really want to, but thanks to daddy dearest I can’t? What if Luke realizes what a fucked up person I am when I tell him what goes on in my head? He doesn’t want to hear about how I got my ass kicked as soon as I started to cry when I was a kid. He doesn’t want to listen to the story where I had to hide the bruises on my arms and stomach that one time at this military summer camp. Luke sure as hell doesn’t need to know that I was on the brink to jump from a bridge because I didn’t want to keep on living like my father wanted me to.’
The next time he pays attention to Lorelai and her story she is crying in the arms of a guy. Noah doesn’t think much of it. Maybe that guy is some brother, cousin or friend? As it turns out it’s her ex, her best friend.
‘Yeah, like that would happen in real life!’ says Noah’s mind not noticing the next fresh tears falling down his face.
He doesn’t know why or how but somehow he ended up at the farm standing in front of the door of the farm house. The old tears have no chance to dry, because new ones won’t let them. His lungs take a deep breath before knocking at that door. His fist gently touches the wooden door.
‘What am I doing here? What was I thinking?’ rushes through Noah’s mind while waiting for the door to be opened.
Moments later that said door opens and a shocked Luke is standing in front of him. Noah sees surprise, confusion and – and love? friendship? in Luke’s hazel eyes.
“Luke, I – I need someone to talk to. I need my best friend, but I – I don’t know if he wants to help me.” Noah says in an obvious stricken voice.
Something Noah thought would only happen in movies happens to him. Luke pulls him in for a tight embrace and starts rubbing his back tenderly.
Noah thinks he has no more tears left, but he is totally off base. He has never cried as hard as in Luke’s arms. His hand clings to the back of Luke’s striped shirt.
“Shhhh. It’s gonna be okay.” Luke tries to soothe him rocking the both of them.
Minutes later it looks like all of Noah’s tears are shed. Noah releases Luke and looks at his feet in shame. He can’t believe he just broke down in his ex-boyfriend’s arms.
“Hey. Hey.” Luke says grabbing Noah’s chin forcing him to at him. “You wanted to talk?”
Noah nods running his hand through his thick dark hair while taking a few steps into the farm house. Luke follows him and grabs his arm gently turning him around.
“You know you can tell me anything, right? I mean really anything. You won’t scare me off.” says Luke looking into insecure reddish eyes.
“Yeah, I – I know that now.” Noah replies embracing Luke once more.
What he doesn’t know is that not only found he comfort in his best friend’s arms, but he also made the first step to save his relationship with Luke.
Title: Break-up
Chapter:1 of 1
Rating:G
Summary:
Characters:Luke, Noah
Genre:AU
Warnings:None
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.
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“No, Noah. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be with you if you are not able to open up to me.”
“But Luke! Please, I – I need you. Don’t leave me.”
“What do you need me for? All I do is helping you with your assignments for school or telling you where your stuff is.”
“That’s not true. You help me being a better person. You help me accepting myself, Luke”
“Maybe so. But you never talk to me about what’s going on in your head – in your heart. Don’t you trust me enough?”
“Of course I trust you. More than anyone.”
“Then why are you so distant, Noah?”
“I am not. I – .“
“Yes, you are. Every single time I ask you what’s going on you give me this ‘I am okay’ – crap. You tell me that everything’s fine, but I know it’s not.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“See? You are doing it again, Noah. I just – I am sorry, but I don’t want a boyfriend who can’t talk to me. I – uh – I gotta go.”
It’s ten thirty in the morning and Noah’s film editing class is in full play. Everyone around him is paying attention to the professor’s interesting and instructive speech about the newest cutting techniques. To Noah the noises coming out of that man’s mouth sound boring and irrelevant. How can he care about anything his professor is saying when his mind only revolves around Luke and their ‘break-up’? Because that’s what it was, right? Luke didn’t call, he didn’t stop by at his dorm room or at Java’s. They haven’t spoken to each other for five days now. One-hundred-twenty-six hours and thirty-two minutes to be exact. ‘God, how pathetic am I? Counting hours and minutes?’ rushes through Noah’s busy mind. ‘Well, at least I am not counting the seconds’
He stares into thin air while scribbling some symbols on the cover of his writing pad. His tired and heavy head rests on the ball of his left hand. The last few nights weren’t really restful for him. Falling asleep was getting harder and harder. And even if he manages to get into that usually peaceful state, he wakes up shortly after. Every time he closes his eyes Luke’s hurt and still gorgeous looking face appears behind his eye lids. ‘I just want to touch his face again. Breathe in his scent. Kiss his lips.’ thinks Noah letting out a low but still noticeable sigh. They can’t be over. Not like that. ‘I love him and I am sure he still loves me. Why do we keep doing this to each other? Why can’t we just be happy and enjoy what we have?” wonders Noah not noticing that the girl sitting next to him keeps eyeing him.
“Luke! Luke! Hey, can I borrow a piece of paper?” whispers an unfamiliar voice.
Hearing that name pulls Noah out of his reverie. He turns his head to the direction the soft whispers were coming from. He knows that guy couldn’t mean his Luke, but he feels the urge to look anyway.
“Sure. Here you go.” replies a guy with dark hair, green eyes and a round face.
Noah’s sad eyes take in the sight of the guy called Luke, but just after a few seconds he turns his head back again and continues staring into space. With every breath that he takes he feels his heart breaking a little bit more. Every second he can’t be with Luke is a wasted one. Every conversation, every achievement means nothing if he can’t share it with him. He hasn’t seen Luke for five days now but those days feel way longer to him. Seconds make him think of Luke. Minutes let Noah miss the blonde and spending hours without his boyfriend bring him close to tears. And making it through the days somehow, almost drain the rest of life he has in him out of his already weak and exhausted body.
“Heartbreak?” asks a gentle female voice touching his hand with her tiny but warm hand.
He startles at the sudden touch and snaps out of his thoughts. Noah doesn’t like the woman’s touch on him right now. He pulls his hand away wanting to get rid of the heat of that stranger’s skin.
“What?” Noah asks trying to sound as politely as he could be right now.
“Bad break-up?” tries the blonde again.
“What makes you ask that?” replies Noah shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
The feeling of insecurity and shame stir up in him. He doesn’t want to talk to some stranger about his problems or about his god damn feelings. There is only one person on this whole planet he wants to be with right now. But he can’t, because that one person doesn’t want to be around him anymore. Or can’t be. At this moment it doesn’t make a big difference to Noah. Luke gave up on him and that is hurting him more than he thought was possible. Luke always fought for him, always supported him, and helped him through all the bad times. And now the most important person in Noah’s life is gone.
“The broken hearts and initials you scribbled on your pad were a give-away. Plus your eyes look so sad. Just – heartbroken.” answers the girl playing with her longish straight hair.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Really, I am fine” Noah replies and flinches after saying that last part. Hearing those words coming out of his mouth remind him of the last conversation he had with his boyfriend or the correct term would be ex-boyfriend now.
“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine to me.” says the female in a caring and gentle tone.
“I said I am fine.” snaps Noah at the girl. He really doesn’t want to be rude, but he just has to find a way to shut her up.
“Jeez, I just wanted to help.” Is the last sentence coming out of the female’s mouth.
Noah feels the urge to say he’s sorry, but decides not to. After this class he won’t meet her again anyways, so why the effort?
“Mr. Mayer, if you are not interested in this course, feel free to go home.” says his professor. Noah can feel all eyes on him and it is making him more than just uncomfortable. He is sure people can see his miserable mood. He looks around his class and pictures what is going on in his class mates heads.
‘Isn’t that the guy that got dumped? Oh, that must be the one that drove his boyfriend away. What a loser! Can’t even make his relationship work, how will he ever pass the next exam?’
“Well, Mayer? Do you want to stay or not? If you decide to stay I want you to pay attention and work with us, understood?” the professor repeats.
Noah doesn’t have to think for a second. He simply starts packing his stuff and gets up. ‘Why should I stay? I can’t concentrate anyway. I just want to crawl in my bed and die.’ he thinks.
A few minutes later his exhausted body finds its way to his dorm room. A piece of paper sticks at the door with the simple message “Won’t come to the dorms after class. Will be spending the night at Sarah’s place. Try to have some fun without me. Steve.”
Noah pulls of the paper and steps inside the small room. When he was alone with Luke in his dorm room he appreciated the tiny space. That way his boyfriend could never be too far away from him. He loved being close to Luke and feel the heat of his body. The gasket of the windows sucked, so it was nice to have Luke’s body to warm him up. But now all this room represents is a cold, tiny and lonely shithole.
He throws his backpack and his jacket onto his desk chair. Next thing he knows he is lying in his uncomfortable and pretty unstable bed. His lovesick body is covered with blue sheets trying to keep the cold away from him. The TV is showing some chick series where a woman just got dumped. “Well, guess I am not the only one.” Noah says to himself. After watching the show for a few minutes he found out that this woman had started dating her best friend and now that it was over, she felt the need to talk to her friend, but knew she couldn’t, because that guy was the man who dumped her just days ago. And almost like fate her ex-boyfriend’s name was Luke.
“Welcome to the club, Lorelai.” he says out loud and continues watching the show.
What surprises him is the fact that Lorelai actually calls her best friend, but she only reaches his answering machine and leaves a message to beg him to come see her. That she needs her friend to get over her ex. But only seconds later she tries to break into his apartment and tries to steal the tape from his answering machine.
‘Why do relationships look so easy in movies and on TV? Or am I just too stupid? Luke thinks I don’t trust him, because I don’t talk about my feelings. Doesn’t he know that I really want to, but thanks to daddy dearest I can’t? What if Luke realizes what a fucked up person I am when I tell him what goes on in my head? He doesn’t want to hear about how I got my ass kicked as soon as I started to cry when I was a kid. He doesn’t want to listen to the story where I had to hide the bruises on my arms and stomach that one time at this military summer camp. Luke sure as hell doesn’t need to know that I was on the brink to jump from a bridge because I didn’t want to keep on living like my father wanted me to.’
The next time he pays attention to Lorelai and her story she is crying in the arms of a guy. Noah doesn’t think much of it. Maybe that guy is some brother, cousin or friend? As it turns out it’s her ex, her best friend.
‘Yeah, like that would happen in real life!’ says Noah’s mind not noticing the next fresh tears falling down his face.
He doesn’t know why or how but somehow he ended up at the farm standing in front of the door of the farm house. The old tears have no chance to dry, because new ones won’t let them. His lungs take a deep breath before knocking at that door. His fist gently touches the wooden door.
‘What am I doing here? What was I thinking?’ rushes through Noah’s mind while waiting for the door to be opened.
Moments later that said door opens and a shocked Luke is standing in front of him. Noah sees surprise, confusion and – and love? friendship? in Luke’s hazel eyes.
“Luke, I – I need someone to talk to. I need my best friend, but I – I don’t know if he wants to help me.” Noah says in an obvious stricken voice.
Something Noah thought would only happen in movies happens to him. Luke pulls him in for a tight embrace and starts rubbing his back tenderly.
Noah thinks he has no more tears left, but he is totally off base. He has never cried as hard as in Luke’s arms. His hand clings to the back of Luke’s striped shirt.
“Shhhh. It’s gonna be okay.” Luke tries to soothe him rocking the both of them.
Minutes later it looks like all of Noah’s tears are shed. Noah releases Luke and looks at his feet in shame. He can’t believe he just broke down in his ex-boyfriend’s arms.
“Hey. Hey.” Luke says grabbing Noah’s chin forcing him to at him. “You wanted to talk?”
Noah nods running his hand through his thick dark hair while taking a few steps into the farm house. Luke follows him and grabs his arm gently turning him around.
“You know you can tell me anything, right? I mean really anything. You won’t scare me off.” says Luke looking into insecure reddish eyes.
“Yeah, I – I know that now.” Noah replies embracing Luke once more.
What he doesn’t know is that not only found he comfort in his best friend’s arms, but he also made the first step to save his relationship with Luke.
Tirpse |
Latest page update: made by Tirpse
, Oct 12 2008, 9:47 AM EDT
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Edited by Tirpse
2160 words added view changes - complete history) |
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | |
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| Tirpse | BREAK-UP (One-shot) | 10 | Oct 12 2008, 5:39 PM EDT by time2change | |
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Thread started: Oct 12 2008, 9:48 AM EDT
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Okay, here is a one-shot I started over a month ago, but never finished it because "I do ... for now" got in the way. Well, today I finally finished it and what can I say? I totally hate it.
As long as it entertains yor for a few minutes that one-shot fulfilled its purpose. |
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