Luke woke up in the middle of the night and he knew that something was wrong. He just knew it… He turned on his side and saw that Noah wasn’t next to him. They had been married for almost a year and he wasn’t able to sleep without him by his side anymore. He stood up and went searching for him.

He saw light coming from the living room and followed it. He stopped at the door when he saw him. Noah was standing up looking out the window. He seemed lost in his thoughts and his face broke Luke’s heart. He was sad. He could tell there was something bothering him but he wasn’t talking and Luke hadn’t wanted to pressure him into it.

Now he walked towards him

“Hey, babe”

Noah turned around and smiled. Luke knew it wasn’t a real smile, he was just pretending. But he knew… you could tell just looking at his eyes. They weren’t smiling…

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I couldn’t sleep, that’s all”

Luke wished he could shake him, make him speak about whatever it was that kept him awake at night at made him pretend to be smiling any time Luke or Aaron were near him.

Noah himself told him about the insomnia. He had told him that he was able to sleep only whenever they were together. 10 years back and the last year. He had always been awake half night… always but when he was with Luke. That is until now… he didn’t sleep when he was with Luke anymore. And it worried Luke, he was terrified about it.

“Are you feeling sick?”

“No, I am fine, really”

Shit… he hated when Noah said that. He despised that stupid sentence. It usually meant: “something is killing me inside but I don’t want to talk about it, let’s pretend nothing happens”.

Luke put the tip of his finger on Noah’s lips

“Don’t insult me anymore… I can’t take it…”

He could see in Noah’s eyes that he was surprised. He didn’t expect Luke to be honest about it, he wanted him to be quiet about it and pretend that he didn’t know. Well, surprise, surprise… he wasn’t going to be quiet anymore. If there was something wrong he wanted to know about it.

“I know something is bothering you. It has for weeks. I need to know what it is, even if it kills me… please”

Noah just looked at him.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, really, I am just”

Luke didn’t let him finish, he let his hand drop

“Get your things… you can go spend the night at the farm or wherever…”

“What? You… you are throwing me out…?”

His heart was breaking in a million pieces… he was actually surprised Noah couldn’t hear it. They had been deliriously happy for the past year. Everything had been perfect. They were so in love they didn’t even argue, not really. Just silly things that would only make them see how much they loved each other and would end with hugs, and kisses, and sex, and happiness… pure happiness.

And now he was telling Noah to get out.

“You think that you can marry me and still try that “I’m fine” bullshit with me. Well, it’s not going to work, Noah, I know you and I know that something is killing you… you don’t want to talk about it? You don’t trust me enough? You can go, then. Because I am your husband and I can’t stand it when you pretend that everything is fine and I know it’s not. I can’t stand it you not trusting me… you are everything to me and… ”

“You are everything to me too, Luke, I love you”

“If you really loved me you would tell me about it, you would speak to me and you wouldn’t leave me out…!”

“There’s nothing to talk about… I am fi”

“Go…”

“But”

“Go, Noah… just go…”

Noah looked at him and left. He got dressed and left without saying anything. Luke just stood there. He missed him already but he couldn’t take that anymore.