“He is my brother’s son. Aaron and Emily’s”

“What…?”

“They had an accident when she was still pregnant with Aaron, she died after giving birth and Aaron 2 days later”

“Your brother died?”

“Yes, he had just time enough to hold him for a bit and then he told me to be his father”

“I am so sorry…”

“It was very hard, but Aaron has helped us a lot. I don’t know what I would have done without him”

“I am sure you are a great dad”

“I try to do my best, but is not always easy… “

“How’s Holden? I can’t imagine your dad losing a child…”

“He is holding up okay. Spends a lot of time with Aaron and Ethan”

“And your mum?”

“She left us a long time ago. We were probably still together. She left saying that she needed some time and never came back”

“Shit, I am sorry”

“I think it was for the best. She was killing my dad with all the comings and goings. He got a divorce and focused on us and the farm.”

“Has he married again?”

“No. He spends a lot of time at the farm with the horses. Nat and Ethan live with him and he seems to be doing fine”

“I am glad to hear it”

“You’re looking better, not as pale as before”

“I haven’t eaten like this in weeks, thanks”

“You are welcome”

Luke kept looking at Noah. He hadn’t really paid any attention to some details when he saw him at the shop… he could see now that he was thinner, and he had wrinkles around his eyes and

“What…”

“Uh?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I was just thinking. You do look thinner and tired. And you have wrinkles around your eyes… you didn’t have those 10 years ago”

“I have some white hairs, too”

Luke smiled and touched Noah’s temple where he could see one or two white hairs. Noah closed his eyes and let himself feel Luke’s touch, it amazed him… Luke was here in front of him and touching him and

“Remember when…?”

“Don’t”

“Sorry… you don’t want to talk about the past…”

“No”

“I forgot…”

Noah finished his sandwich and looked at his drink

“What is this?”

“Herbal tea”

“Right…”

He took a sip and realized that he actually liked it quite a lot

“That’s not tea”

“It’s chamomile tea. It’s really nice with some sugar”

“Yeah… I like it”

He took another sip

“I still can’t believe you are here”

“I have lived here for the last 7 years”

“It’s a great place”

“I loved it when I first got here, but now it just seems like any other place”

“Faith loves it, it’s funny that you’ve never seen her around”

“I spent a lot of time at work”

“What do you do exactly?”

“I am the director of a TV show. A drama about a family. It airs every Monday at 8”

Luke smiled

“You are joking… I watch it every week; I’ve done it for 5 years. I love it!”

“You do?”

“Yes, that’s weird…”

“I guess”

They looked at each other

“I am sorry about your brother… I know it must have been hard”

“It was… I wanted you there with me”

“Me?”

“Yes. I was going out with someone and I left him because I realized that I wanted you with me”

“Was it Reg?”

“Reg? No, that’s what you thought? That I went out with Reg?”

“It doesn’t matter”

“It does matter to me, I loved you, I couldn’t think about anything but you, you were the world to me… did you really think that I would go out with Reg? The minute you left me? Come on, Noah, give me some credit!”

“Let’s not talk about it, OK? It was a long time ago and there is no point in”

“Shit… you are doing it again”

Noah stood up

“Come on, please, sit down and talk to me”

“I can’t… I just can’t…”

Noah left the coffee shop leaving Luke feeling like 10 years before. Damn, he was pushing him away from his life again. He had just found him and he was losing him again.

Chapter 12