Noah spent the rest of the day at home, trying to work and trying not to think. He couldn’t believe that he’d had lunch with Luke… He was still shocked about Aaron’s death. He wished he could have helped Luke through that ordeal.

He stood up slowly. He was feeling better, but his head still did funny things if he moved too quickly. He looked through the window. He could see the park from where he was standing…

The rest of the hours went by very slowly… he wished he could go back to work but the doctor had told him to rest for a couple of days. If he was honest to himself he had to admit that even if he wanted to (and he did want to) he couldn’t do much. And he couldn’t afford to faint at work every now and then, now, could he?

He heard his mobile ringing and answered without looking at it

“Mayer”

“Hey, you are not man enough to use my last name, boy”

Noah closed his eyes. Damn, he should have checked the caller id before answering…

“You still there, boy?”

“Don’t call me boy”

“You still have to prove that, remember? Are you still a fag?”

Noah just kept his eyes closed and tried to gather the courage to hang up the phone…

“I guess you are, well, I just thought I would let you know that I am going to NY as we speak. I was thinking of a little family reunion”

“You can’t come here… you are not supposed to leave Missouri… how about your parole officer?”

“Who cares about that guy, I don’t”

“But”

“I’ll see you soon, boy”

He hung up the phone, just like that… Shit, he’s coming… He thought about going to a hotel. Here I am hiding again, or running away, who cares? It doesn’t really matter; it just meant that he’d never stop being a coward.

He heard the doorbell and jumped… damn it, even the doorbell scares me… he opened the door and saw Luke standing with bags in his hands

“Are you going to let me in?”

Noah opened the door for him

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought you would probably forget about supper so... here I am. Where’s the kitchen?”

“It’s there… you brought me supper?”

“I was kind of hoping you would ask me to stay. This is a great place, Noah”

“Thanks…”

“So, you did say you loved Chinese food once, remember?”

“Yeah… “

“We didn’t get to eat it then, can I stay today?”

“Umh… yeah… I guess”

Luke smiled

“Your enthusiasm is amazing, don’t look so happy, okay?”

“Sorry, you caught me by surprise, I didn’t expect you to come…”

“Okay, lets get plates and everything”

“Yes… sure”

They started taking things to the dinning room

“It really is great, Noah, I love the view”

“It’s alright, I guess”

When the table was set they sat and started getting food from the different boxes

“I brought a bit of everything”

Noah started eating slowly but his appetite was back again and soon he was eating a lot. Luke just smiled, and for a while they just made small talk and ate. Luke told Noah some anecdotes about Aaron and they both laughed at some of the things he’d done or said. When they couldn’t eat anymore they just looked at each other.

“Thanks… everything was really good”

“You are welcome”

“Are you going to bring me breakfast too?”

Luke laughed at that

“I was just joking”

“I’ll get you breakfast, sure”

“No, really, you don’t have to”

“I know I don’t have too, Noah, but I’ll do it”

“Why?”

“Why? Because I want to”

“Why do you want to? After the way I left you…”

“It was my fault as much as yours… and I have never been able to forgive myself for not being what you needed me to be”

“It wasn’t your fault. You know that. It was just me, being stupid and… I really don’t want to talk about the past”

“Please... I do want to, I need to, Noah, please…”

“Why?”

Noah stood up and Luke followed him. He held Noah’s arms and made him look at him

“Because in 10 years I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, that’s why…”

“Come on… you say it like you still”

Luke smiled

“Yeah… like for whatever reason I still really care about you”

Noah just looked at him. Could it be possible that Luke still had feelings for him? After what he did and all the years?

“You are going to have to tell me that you don’t care about me, if you really want me to go”

Noah just looked at him and Luke put his hand on Noah’s face and let himself caress him for a second. He could remember what touching Noah felt like… He put his forehead in Noah’s and they both closed his eyes. Luke held his face in his hands

“Are you going to tell me that you haven’t wanted this not even once in all these years? That you haven’t needed me like I needed you?”

“No…”

“Because I have thought about you every single day, and I have wanted you every single night…”

Luke moved closer and brushed his lips with Noah’s

“I've missed you so much…”

“Me too…”

They kissed… Noah tried to stop thinking; he just felt Luke’s lips on his and his heart stopped beating. He was at home, now. That was home, Luke holding him, kissing him… just then he heard a noise and realized that it was his cell phone ringing… damn, from heaven to hell… Luke smiled

“I should’ve guess… don’t answer…“

“I have to, could be someone from work”

“At this time?”

“They had to call an ambulance for me yesterday, Luke, and I didn’t call today”

Noah picked it up

“Mayer”

“I told you not to use my last name!”

Noah closed his eyes

”What do you want?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I have your address, so you don’t have to worry about me not finding you, boy”

He hung up

“You okay, Noah? You’re white…”

“I need you to go”

“What? But”

“I really want you to go now, please”

“Look at me, how can you… who was on the phone?”

“I am begging you, Luke… please, go”

Luke looked at Noah and reached for the door

“I don’t get you, I’m telling you, Noah… I really don’t understand… shit…”

Luke left and Noah sat on the nearest chair and held his head in his hands.