Title: What he's doing now Chapter: 5 - Darkness Rating: Summary: Characters: Noah Genre: Warnings: English is not my native language Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Noah stayed there, against the door, for hours. Didn’t turn on any lights, he felt a huge darkness in his heart, didn’t care about the darkness outside.

That’s my fault, it could have been me and I screwed everything up when I told him I needed a break. When I saw him with Reg and decided that he deserved to be happy with someone else. When I gave up on us. Why didn’t I fight for him? I wanted him. I had, have, never wanted anything more in my life.

He looked around at his apartment. Everything seemed cold, empty, like himself.

What was he going to do? Hide for the next few days? He couldn’t see him with another man, he just couldn’t. Nothing had ever hurt so much.

He felt so depressed he was having trouble breathing… damn, I can’t breath anymore without him. He couldn’t live like this, wanting someone he couldn’t have.

Life without him felt too long, he just didn’t want it anymore. He wished he could just sleep for years, or forget about Luke and be able to keep living…

Breathe, come on… shit… breathe…

How long could he go without breathing?

Breathe… breathe… breat…

He slid all the way, he couldn’t hold himself up anymore… he was now lying on the floor.

Breathe…

He felt another tear, and another…

Breathe…

The darkness seemed to grow as much outside as inside, he couldn’t see anything… it was surrounding him… breathe… come on, breathe… I have to bre…

Darkness swallowed him…

Chapter 6