“We have plenty of time ahead of us”

“Excuse me”

“I am Dr. Steve Rowland, and I”

Luke looked up from where he was sitting and realized that some one was trying to talk to him…

That sentence was repeating itself over and over in his head… Like a joke. Did Noah really say that to him 5 minutes before he…? How could he? It really felt like a bad joke… He told him that they had plenty of time ahead of them and then he…

“We were supposed to have plenty of time ahead of us…”

The doctor sat down next to him. Luke wasn’t crying, or shouting. That’s what families used to do in cases like this. He hated it, always have hated that part of his job when he had to tell people that their loved ones were badly injured, or even dead. You could use all kind of words: “I am so sorry, your mother passed away…” “It was too much and his body couldn’t cope…” “We did all we could, but it was really impossible to bring him back…” And they always screamed at him, or cry, sometimes just sob and sob for hours.

Not him… His name was Luke Snyder and he had been sitting at the same chair since they brought the man from the accident. He was just sitting in there looking at the wall in front of him. Everytime he had talked to him he had been calmed, a bit lost in his own world, but he didn’t scream or cry. Didn’t even ask any questions. He always wished for someone who wouldn’t shout at him, or cried at him… but he wasn’t so sure anymore. That was so much worse, he didn’t know what to do or say.

“What’s that?”

“He told me… that we had plenty of time ahead of us”

“Is there anyone I could call?”

“No… I called my father but I don’t want him to come, he’s with our son… We have a son, we are a family, you know…”

“No, I didn’t know that”

“A beautiful boy… Noah loves him so much, and Aaron… he needs his Dad…”

Dr. Rowland checked the file… Noah? Ah, yes, that’s the name of the guy… Noah Snyder

“I don’t want anyone with me… Is that normal? I am fine just sitting down in here all by myself… Maybe there’s something wrong with me…”

When Aaron died he needed his family, he had held on to Holden for dear life. He had spent days and days at the hospital with the baby and he always asked someone to go with him. Sometimes Faith, or her husband, or Nat, even Ethan would go with him. He didn’t want to be alone.

Matt, his boyfriend at the time, had wanted to go everywhere with him, but Luke had broken up with him. He couldn’t even look at him cos deep down he knew it was Noah who he needed.

Noah… He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes

“I wanted Noah with me… that’s probably why I don’t want anyone with me now, cos I want him… It’s crazy…”

He almost laughed

“I need him to help me go through this… through losing him…”

A tear started going down his cheek

When his brother died it had been as if someone had tore an arm or a leg from his body. So much pain… he thought nothing could ever hurt that much… till now.

It wasn’t an arm or a leg this time. It was his heart, someone was opening his chest and pulling his heart out, pulling and pulling… It was so painful…

Chapter 9