Time ticked on, but Noah didn't care. The man in his arms needed him for however long it took. Funny how in one instant their roles were almost reversed. Many times they had found themselves in this position, only it was Noah who was falling apart and Luke was the only one who could fit those pieces back together. Now as they stood together, Noah held on as his boyfriend let out gut wrenching sobs, followed by some sniffling and then finally a whimpering.

Noah took a step as he tried to maneuver them both over to the couch, only to have Luke grasp him tighter with a whimpered no.

"Shh," The brunette stroked his hand through blonde strands, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise...but I think we should sit down."

Luke nodded slightly and allowed himself to be led to the sofa.

"Do you want me to get you something to drink?" Noah offered, gently running his fingers over Luke's arm.

A head shaking was the only response he got.

"How about something to eat? Are you hungry? when was the last time you ate?"

"I can't eat," The blonde whispered.

Noah let his hand drift to the back of Luke's neck, "How about a sandwich? I can make you a grilled cheese. Burnt just the way you make them," He tried to joke.

"I can't," Luke repeated, shaking his head.

"It might make you feel a little better."

Luke's eyes fell tightly closed, "I can't. How can I eat when my dad's dead? My daddy's dead," He choked, "Oh God Noah!"

"I'm right here," Noah swallowed around the lump in his own throat as he pulled his boyfriend into his arms once again, "Do you want to go lie down? You look exhausted," He asked softly, once Luke had calmed down enough.

"No...I...I need to wait for my mother," Luke sat up and wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand, "I promised her that I'd...I'd take care of Ethan. He's just a little kid, you know? He's...he doesn't understand. He'll never know how great our...our dad was. He'll never...he'll never learn to....learn to fish on Sn-Snyder pond. He'll never know how great of a...father our dad was."

Noah carefully caressed Luke's cheek, "He will because you will tell him. Your whole family will tell him. He'll know how great Holden Snyder was."

"It's not enough," Luke shook his head and stood up, moving out of Noah's reach, "It'll never be enough."

"Luke," Noah started, getting to his feet as well, "When I thought my dad had died, I pushed you away. I pushed everyone away. Please, please don't push me away."

The blonde sniffled, "I don't want to."

"Then don't," Noah took a step, closing the space between them.

"It's just...it's just every time I look at you, it's like I hear you telling me over and over again to go to Kentucky. It's so hard because you were right and I was wrong and now I don't have a dad any more," A few tears escaped the corner of Luke's eyes, "And I think I'd give up anything...anything to have my father back...even you. And I hate myself for thinking that because I love you so much."

Noah took a breath and brought his hands to the blonde's shoulders, "I would do anything just so you could have him back again. I'd live my life the way my father wanted me to. I'd join the army...I'd give up my life just to see you smiling again."

Not know how to respond, Luke could only nod.

"Listen," Noah cleared his throat, "How about I go get you some clothes and your pajamas from home and bring them over?"

Luke shook his head, "I'm not staying here."

"I just thought..."

"I want to go home with you and sleep in our own bed with you," Luke whispered.

"Okay," Noah nodded.

The opening of the door behind them, grabbed their attention.

"Noah," Lily cleared her through and scrubbed her eyes with her hand.

Noah nodded, "I'm so sorry," He embraced her, "If there's anything...anything at all I can do..."

"You're here," She pulled back and rubbed at her eyes once more, "I must look a mess. I'm going to check on Ethan and wash my face," Lily quickly walked through the living room.

"How're you doing?" Noah turned his attention to Faith.

She shrugged.

"I'm sorry," He tried again and pulled her into a hug that was only half reciprocated.

Luke approached her too, "Faith..."

"Can I stay with you?" She asked in a neutral tone.

Luke and Noah shared a look, "Don't you...umm...don't you want to stay here with mom?"

"No," Faith said adamantly.

Clearing his throat again, Noah tried to find the right words. Normally, he wouldn't mind. But right now all he wanted to do was get Luke home, in bed and in his arms, "Faith..."

"Forget it," She rolled her eyes, pushing past the couple.

Luke sighed, "Faith...wait."

"What?" She didn't want her brother to see how upset she was.

"What if Noah and I...stayed here tonight?"

"You would?" Her tone was full of hope.

Luke nodded, "Yes."

"Okay," Faith gave him the tiniest of smiles before disappearing out of the room.

"So, I guess I'll go get us some clothes?" Noah's voice was soft.

"Yeah," Luke rolled his top lip into his mouth for a second, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Noah took Luke's hand into his own.

Luke blinked back a fresh set of tears, "Because...because of everything. I just feel like if I had gone. If I had only done what I said I was going to do then none of this would have happened."

"Hey," Noah took Luke's chin between his fingers, "You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault, and I mean none of it. Okay?"

The blonde nodded, his eyes suddenly find the carpeting very interesting.

"Look at me," Noah said gently but firmly, "It's not your fault."

Luke nodded again, "You should...you should probably get going."

"Okay," The brunette answered with reluctance, "I won't be longer then an hour. Do you want me to pick up some food from Al's for everyone on my way back?"

"Yeah. Ethan's probably going to want dinner soon and my mom...shouldn't be bothered with cooking," Luke agreed.

Noah nodded and placed an unreturned chaste kissed on Luke's lips, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Sure," Luke shoved his hands into his pockets.

--------------------

Noah took a deep breath as he pulled up outside of Al's. He had quickly thrown a few things into an overnight bag and practically ran back to his truck from the apartment in a hurry to get to Al's and then back to the Snyder House.

Running a hand through his hair, he pushed open the door and made his way to the counter.

"Noah," Janet greeted him solemnly.

"Janet?" Noah asked in slight surprise, "What are you...I mean-"

She took a deep breath, "I couldn't get anyone to cover my shift and Vienna and Henry aren't answering their phone. Jack called me about an hour ago and told me about Holden. How's Luke?"

"He's...dealing."

"And Lily?"

Noah shrugged, "She's...doing the best she can."

"Please let them know how sorry I am. I'm going to cook something for them and bring it over tomorrow," She decided.

"I will," Noah nodded.

Janet took a deep breath, "Are there any...umm....any funeral plans?"

"I don't even think Lily's gotten past shock yet," Noah confided.

"Please, let Lily know if there's anything I can do, just to call me. Day or night," Janet nodded, "Now let me take your order and let you get back to them."

Twenty minutes later Noah was pulling up into the Snyder's driveway with two bags full of food. Janet had really gone over board, making sure they had enough to last them until the next night.

"Hey," Noah smiled sadly at Luke and Lily sitting on the sofa as he entered the house, "I brought several different things. I wasn't sure what everyone liked."

Lily cleared her throat and stood up, straightening her black dress, "Thank you so much Noah. Let me...let me go get you some money for all this."

"No...no it's okay. I'm glad to do anything to make this easier for you," Noah said sincerely.

"Thank you," Lily tried to smile, but failed, "I'll go grab Ethan and Faith."

A few seconds later a little bundle of energy tore through the living room.

"Nowah!"

Noah smiled at the little boy, "Hey buddy."

"Nowah?"

"Yeah Ethan?" Noah crouched down to be eye level with the child.

Ethan smiled and reached out for one of the buttons on Noah's shirt, "When's daddy comin' home?"

Noah felt a lump rise into his throat and hear Lily let out a pained gasp, "Ummm...your daddy...he's in...he's in Heaven."

"Where's that?" Ethan looked up at Noah expectedly.

"It's...it's really far from here," Luke tried to force his emotions down, "Daddy can still hear you and you can talk to him any time you want. You just won't be able to see him."

"Because he's invis-e-ble?"

Luke nodded, struggling to keep his tears at bay, "That's right."

Frowning, Ethan shook his head, "But I don't want daddy to be invis-e-ble!"

"I don't either," Luke picked up Ethan, "I don't either," He couldn't hold back any longer as a few tears slipped down his cheeks.

Lily sniffled and quickly swiped her eyes, "Ethan, come on honey. Come to mommy. Noah brought you something to eat," She took her son from Luke and picked up one of the styrofoam containers and walked into the kitchen.

"I'm going to eat in my room," Faith cleared her throat.

Luke nodded, "Faith," He opened his arms and enveloped his little sister.

"I'm glad you're here," She half smiled.

--------------------

Two discarded styrofoam containers filled with half eaten food lay on Luke's old bedroom desk.

"You want to talk?" Noah didn't know what to do as he crawled into bed next to his boyfriend.

Luke shook his head.

Noah took a deep breath, "Luke, what can I do? Tell me how I can help you."

"Turn back time and give me my father back?" Luke was so sick of crying, but he couldn't stop himself.

"I wish I could," Noah pulled Luke to him, happy when Luke allowed the comfort.

"Was this what it felt like?" The blonde whispered, resting his head against Noah's strong chest.

Noah let his hands roam Luke's back, neck and through the silken strands of his hair. Calming, comforting. Letting Luke know that he was there, "Hmm?"

"When you thought your dad died? Did it hurt this much?" Luke sniffled.

"It hurt," Noah admitted, "But my relationship with him was nothing like yours. I think part of the hurt was thinking he died believing I had betrayed him."

Luke let his fingers trail over Noah's t-shirt clad abdomen, "I feel like I betrayed my dad."

"You didn't," Noah said vehemently, "He loved you. So much."

They laid in silence for a little while longer.

"Does it go away?" Luke reached out to take one of Noah's hands, "Does the hurt ever stop?"

Noah squeezed Luke's fingers, "In time. Until then, know that I'm here. Now get some rest."

When he felt Luke nod, he gently pulled the blanket tighter around them both. His hands never stopped caressing the body in his arms, and when Luke fell asleep he knew that he couldn't take away the hurt from his boyfriend. But knowing that he was at least helping in a small way was enough. It just had to be.