Title: Snyder vs. Mayer Chapter: Chapter 20 Rating: PG Summary: Luke writes his letters, and delivers one to Emma. Characters: Luke, Noah, Mark, Emma Genre: Angst, Drama Warnings: None Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

There were at least six letters that Luke had to write for his AA meetings. One to each grandmother, his mother and father, his uncle Jack, and then finally Noah. He started out with Lucinda's and was able to write that letter with little effort the night he got home from his first meeting. It put him on such a high; he was eager to start on his next letter.

The following morning, after he had Mark dressed and playing, Luke sat down with his laptop and began his second letter. After sitting there for 15 minutes, Luke decided that he couldn't figure out who to write to next. Jack's was going to be very professional; saying he was sorry for all the legal trouble he caused. He hurt his grandma Emma, but he couldn't think of anything that he did that affected her solely. His parents would have to be after that. Maybe he could write them together? Killing two birds with one stone. Last would definitely have to be Noah. It would be his closure.

'Uncle Jack,' Luke typed on his laptop, 'There really isn't anything I could say to have you understand how sorry I am.'

Luke bit his lip and leaned back into his chair. That sounded so dull and cliched. Are they supposed to sound like that? Lucinda's letter came out so naturally. He thanked her for what she did for him recently and for supporting him throughout everything. It wrote itself.

Deciding it was an okay start, Luke continued with his letter. He hit the topics that he knew Jack would appreciate.

'Sorry for hurting my father and taking advantage of him.'

'Thank you for your help when I got into that accident. I couldn't have done it without you.'

Luke yawned and second-guessed himself again. Why was this so hard? He shifted in his seat, and pulled his laptop higher on his lap.

"You know what?" Luke told himself, "I'm writing this letter for Jack, not an English class." It's not like he was writing exactly what Jack wanted to hear, but what he needed to hear.

Sitting up straight, he adjusted himself again and quickly finished his letter for Jack.

*~*

Two hours later, Luke was printing out his letter to his grandma Emma. He was surprised as to how easy that letter was to write as well. It made him feel like he was slacking and not giving it 100%.

Sighing, he picked up the paper after it was fed through the printer. What was it going to take to make him feel good about his writing?

Luke was so deep in thought he didn't hear Noah walk through the door. Deciding to tease Luke, Noah snuck up behind him and pinched his shoulders. Luke jumped and turned around, waving his fists. Noah leaned back just in time; Luke only grazed his right shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Noah asked with a smile on his face.

"You scared the shit out of me!" Luke yelled, still shocked.

Noah kept smirking at Luke with his playful grin. Knowing he couldn't help it, Luke's mouth turned up into a smile as well.

"Did you get all of your letters done?" Noah questioned while sitting down next to his husband.

Luke sighed.

"I got Lucinda's, Jack's and I just finished my Grandma Emma's."

"Do you think you'll be able to finish your mom and your dad's by tonight? Maybe we can go visit later and you can give them their letters and we can tell them about the ceremony.

"Well I can try," Luke replied not very believably.

"Do you need any help?" Noah tried to sound supportive, yet sympathetic.

"'Sure," Luke smiled, "Can you read over the first three I wrote?"

"Okay!" Noah was thrilled to help.

Luke grinned and handed over his three complete letters. After 15 minutes went by of Luke sitting on the couch and not typing, Noah finally decided to say something.

"Luke, baby?" Noah teased, "Are you going to be typing, or what?"

"I'm just stuck," Luke complained and stretched his arms a bit.

"What with? Is there anything I can do?"

"I just don't know where to start with my parents. Should I just write them one letter?"

Noah shrugged.

"It's up to you, I guess. I mean, both letters will be saying pretty much the same thing right? And they'll probably be reading them together..."

"You're just coming up with the same things I've been thinking," Luke laughed. "I guess a second opinion is good, but... do you think I'm slacking but not doing them individually? Do you think it would be better to write two?"

"I just think you should do whatever you're comfortable with."

"Thank you, Noah," Luke smiled and kissed his husband quickly. "I think I'm ready to start."

*~*

Two hours later, Luke was putting the letters into their respective envelopes and Noah was getting Mark ready to go. Luke had called his parents and they agreed to let them come over for dinner. They also invited Lucinda, but neither Emma nor Jack could make it. Luke figured he could drop off the letters later or give them to whomever would see them first.

"Ready to go?" Noah asked with Mark in his arms and a diaper bag draped over his shoulder.

Luke smiled and finished writing 'Mom and Dad' on the last envelope.

"Yeah, I think so."

*~*

On the way to his parents house, Luke suggested to visit the farm first. Deciding that if Emma or Jack, or both were there, it would be easier to face them first. They pulled into the driveway, and got out of the car. Luke went ahead inside and Noah took care of Mark.

"Grandma?" Luke called into the house. "Anyone home?"

Luke sighed and walked further into the house. He was about to turn and leave when Emma came downstairs.

"Luke," Emma greeted and pulled him into a hug. She didn't seem extremely happy to see him, but it was a start. "What brings you here?"

"Um... Well," Luke mumbled, "Oh, here. Just read this." He handed her the letter and placed Jack's onto the kitchen counter.

"What's this?" Emma asked curiously before opening it.

"It's part of my AA therapy. Just read it please. Everything will be explained."

Emma took the letter and sat at the kitchen table. Luke followed her, but turned around when he saw Noah come in with Mark. Noah kept quiet and walked to the table and sat down next to Luke - who had sat across from Emma.

"Grandma," Emma began reading. "I'm terribly sorry for all the pain that I have caused you in these past few months."

Luke's face got red when he realized that his grandmother would be reading the letter out loud. He turned not Noah, who gave him a reassuring smile. He felt better knowing that Noah had already read the letter. When Luke was done zoning out, Emma was still reading.

"I can't thank you enough for taking me in when I had no place to go, and I could never tell you how sorry I was for betraying your trust during that time. I know you found out that I was drinking, and hid the key. At the time I was really upset, but I know you did it for my own good. I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything, but I knew you would have stopped me if I told any of you..."

Luke zoned out again and looked up at Noah. He was listening, but not really paying attention. Plus, he was too busy trying to entertain Mark who decided to be wide awake at this very moment. Reaching out his hand, Luke gently gripped Marks torso and curled his fingers in order to tickle him. When Mark giggled loudly, Luke pulled his hand away. He didn't want his grandmother to realize he wasn't paying attention.

"...So now I'm back home, and I can promise you that I have learned my lesson. Being away from my husband and son, and seeing the disappointment in everyones faces was enough for me to learn from my mistakes. Please, please forgive me. There is nothing I would love more than that. I need you in my life. I love you, Luke."

Emma was very calm throughout the whole letter, and read it with a straight face. She looked up at Luke who had his head down. He had seen his grandma's reaction and knew it was bad.

"Luke..." she spoke calmly.

"You hated it," Luke sobbed and turned towards his husband's shoulder.

"No!" Emma gasped and stood up. She raced over to Luke and pulled him away from Noah and into her own arms. "Honey, no! It was fine! And I believe you, I believe you."

Luke could hear her voice cracking and he pulled her tighter to him.

"You really forgive me?" Luke cried.

"Of course," Emma replied, a little more calmly, "You're my grandson, and I love you. There's nothing you could do to make me stop." She ran her hands through Luke's hair and kissed his forehead.

Luke smiled.

"Thank you grandma," he spoke while wiping his eyes.

"Now, I think you guys have dinner waiting for you."

"Do you want to come with us?" Noah asked while standing up.

"No, I'll be okay." She turned to Luke, "Thank you for the letter."

"No, thank you." Luke pulled her into a hug and then gave her a kiss goodbye.