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Someone to talk to
| Title: someone to talk to|
Summary: Noah has a fight with Luke and finds someone to talk to
Warnings: a little dark maybe..
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.
“I don’t want to hear it ok? I saw what I saw so don’t try and deny it!” Noah shouted angrily.
“Noah I am not cheating on you! Why don’t you believe me?!” Luke shouted back.
“Why I don’t believe you? Hmm let’s see.. Because of the fact that I come home from class and see you sticking your tongue down some other guy’s throat maybe?” Noah shouted and punched the wall in frustration.
“I told you, Leo is just a friend from class and he came over so I could help him with his assignment. I had no idea he felt that way about me. He surprised me with that kiss, he caught me off guard.” Luke explained for the millionth time that afternoon.
“Whatever. I need to get out of here.” Noah said and grabbed his jacket and walked out the door slamming it shut behind him.
He walked to his car but then realised his car keys were still inside the apartment.
“Damn!” he said and kicked one of the truck’s tires.
He looked over his shoulder to the apartment and thought about going back inside to talk to Luke.
“No.” He said aloud and cursed himself for actually talking to himself.
“Great now I’m losing my mind as well as my boyfriend” He muttered under his breath.
He dug his hands deeper into his pockets and started walking.
A while later he walked into Java, hoping Jeff would be working or better yet – be on a break so he could talk to him.
He glanced at the counter but much to his disappointment it wasn’t Jeff that was serving the customers.
“Hey Noah, what are you doing here on your day off? Did you miss the coffee too much?” the girl behind the counter asked jokingly.
“Uh.. yeah something like that.” Noah said wrecking his brain trying to remember the girl’s name.
“What can I get you?” the nameless girl asked.
“Uh a large black coffee to go please.” Noah said and pulled a 5 dollar note out of his wallet. “Keep the change” he said as he took his coffee and walked out of Java ignoring the now familiar feeling of his mobile vibrating in his pocket.
“Sorry Luke.. not now.” He said softly and started walking.
He walked for a while, getting lost in thoughts, replaying the scene he had seen when he had gotten home in his head over and over again.
Suddenly he snapped out of his thoughts and looked around.
How did I end up here? He thought and squatted down and stared at the object in front of him.
He felt tears welling up in his eyes and looked at the ground.
“Hey mum” he said after a while. “It’s me Noah..”
“I uh really need someone to talk to right now.”
He felt his legs starting to cramp up so he sat down on the ground and leaned against the headstone of his mother’s grave and stretched out his legs.
“I really screwed things up with Luke this time..”
“And I know I say that every time I come here.. but he has no reason to forgive me at all this time..”
“I accused him of cheating on me. And I know he didn’t. Luke would never do that..”
“I’m just.. so stupid..”
“But when I saw that other guy kissing him on our sofa..”
“I don’t know.. I just snapped..”
“I didn’t hurt him or that other guy or something”
“I could never hurt Luke intentionally, he’s made me happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life” Noah said and wiped the now flowing tears from his cheeks with his sleeve.
He closed his eyes and thought about all the happy times he had shared with Luke.
Everything from their first kiss, their first date, the day they finally moved in to their own apartment to the little kiss he’d given Luke that morning when he had walked him to class.
“I do love him you know. I love him a lot.”
“And I know he loves me too.”
Noah chuckled as he thought of how it must look to other people to see a grown man sitting on a grave talking to a headstone and crying like a little boy.
“I manage to embarrass you even after you’ve gone.” He sighed.
“You know.. I think you would’ve liked Luke”
“He’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met... and I know it sounds cheesy but he really is the love of my life mum.”
“He’s sweet and caring and pretty much perfect”
“I love to watch him when he’s writing and he has an idea.. He just forgets the world around him and just becomes one with the story”
“I’ll read you some of his stuff sometime, it really is amazing” Noah said and smiled as the image of a writing Luke appeared in his mind.
“And I’m so glad I decided to come to this little town called Oakdale 3 years ago.”
“You know I actually applied for a job, or well.. an internship in a few big cities too back then?”
“I was secretly hoping some big studio in L. A. would hire me and I was a little disappointed when WOAK offered me an internship.”
“I never thought I could actually learn something in that little town no-one had ever heard of.”
“But I did. I learned to be true to myself. And I learned what it’s like to love someone with your whole heart and what it’s like to have someone care about you..”
“I’m getting too mushy now aren’t I?” He said as he slowly turned himself around so he was facing the headstone.
He crossed his legs and just stared at the stone, letting his fingers trail the letters carved into it.
“I promise you I’m going to start saving up so I can get you the headstone you deserve.”
“Something marble maybe? Would you like that mum?”
“Maybe Jeff can help me design something. That guy can draw! Did I tell you that?”
“He is really good. I’m sure he will help me when I ask him”
“He’s a good friend you know? One of the few people besides you and Luke that I can really talk to.”
“I wish I could’ve introduced you to him too.. I’m sure you would’ve liked him.”
“He actually drew a picture of Luke and I sitting at our table at Java. He said it’s not very good but it’s almost like a photo.”
“Luke actually got it framed and we hung it on the wall right above our sofa.”
“It’s actually kind of freaky, walking into the room and seeing myself looking at Luke like that..”
“I wonder if I always look at him like that.. I never see myself obviously..”
“Luke always says I look dreamy in that picture. I guess I do.. Luke has that effect on me..”
“I can get lost in his eyes.. and sometimes when my shift is busy and I don’t have time to talk to him.. he’ll just sit down and study and wait for a while, smiling at me from time to time..”
“His smile can just light up my entire day”
“Sorry I’m rambling..” he sighed.
The mobile phone in his pocket started vibrating again and Noah took it out and stared at the screen.
“It’s Luke.. Do you think I should answer?”
He continued to stare at the screen until the buzzing stopped.
“I have 15 missed calls.. he really wants to talk to me.. but I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him.”
“I don’t want to give him any more reasons to leave me by saying something stupid..”
“I’ve done enough of that lately..”
“I really don’t know what I’d do without him.”
“He really is everything to me mum.”
“What if I really screwed things up for good?”
“What if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”
“You know sometimes I get so scared of losing him.. that he will wake up one day and wonder what he’s doing with me.. and that he will leave me.”
“That will never happen” a familiar voice said behind him and he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He looked up into his boyfriend’s beautiful brown eyes.
“How.. how long have you been standing there?” Noah asked feeling embarrassed all of a sudden for pouring his heart out to a headstone.
“Long enough” Luke said softly and knelt down beside Noah.
“How did you know where to find me?” Noah asked wondering if he really was that predictable.
“Well.. you didn’t have the car so I figured you wouldn’t have gone that far.. I called Jeff but he didn’t answer. So I thought he might be at work.” Luke explained.
“But he wasn’t..” Noah said still wondering how Luke had known where to find him.
“No he wasn’t. But Leila told me you’d stopped by Java.” Luke continued.
“Leila, that’s her name, of course! Sorry.. continue..” Noah said biting his lip feeling stupid for yet another time that day.
Luke chuckled and sat down on the ground and put his arm around his boyfriend.
“Well after that I walked around Oldtowne for a while and I have to admit I panicked a little.. well a lot when I couldn’t find you and you weren’t answering your phone.”
“I’m sorry..” Noah said looking at the ground.
“No Noah you have nothing to be sorry for. Sure you might have said some things in the heat of the moment.. but so have I.” Luke said grabbing Noah’s chin and gently lifted up his boyfriend’s head to look him in the eye. “I shouldn’t have been so naive thinking Leo only wanted me to help him with his assignment. He’s been dropping hints for ages.”
“But I accused you of cheating on me. And I know you’d never do that to me.” Noah said remorseful.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t. But I don’t know what I would have said or done if the roles had been reversed.” Luke admitted.
They sat in silence for a few minutes staring at the headstone in front of them.
“You still haven’t told me how you knew where to find me.” Noah said, his curiosity getting the better of him.
Luke laughed and kissed his cheek.
“You’re too curious for your own good sometimes.”
“Well at one point I was convinced something horrible had happened to you and I went down to the hospital. And thank god Alison was working and she calmed me down enough to think clearly.”
“Thank god for Alison” Noah agreed.
“When I was calm again she made me talk about you. What you do when you’re upset. And all of a sudden I knew you’d be here, talking to your mum.” Luke said and nodded his head in the direction of the headstone.
“I don’t know how I ended up here. I just started walking when I left Java and I kind of got lost in my own thoughts and just I came here.” Noah said leaning into Luke’s embrace.
“Did you have a nice talk with her?” Luke asked knowing how Noah felt about talking to a headstone.
“Yeah.. yeah I guess I did.. Somehow she always helps me clear my head.” Noah sighed.
“I wish she was still alive and she could see me now.. could see us.”
“I think.. somehow.. she can.” Luke said deep in thoughts.
They sat there for a few more minutes each lost in their own thoughts and fantasies.
“Charlene.. I hope you don’t mind but I’m taking this gorgeous man home with me again. I got kind of used to having him around.” Luke said smiling, eyes focused on the headstone as he stood up.
“Are you coming?”
Noah looked up and took his boyfriend’s hand and let Luke pull him to his feet.
“Bye mum.. I’ll talk to you again soon, I promise.” Noah said as he waved to the headstone and walked away with Luke’s arm around his waist and his arm around Luke’s shoulders.
Latest page update: made by Bijou_
, Dec 26 2008, 11:32 AM EST
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