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The Scenic Route
| Title: The Scenic Route by Rebop13 Chapter: 1/1 Rating: NC17 Summary: Luke and Noah decide to take a cross country trip Characters: Luke, Noah, original characters Genre: Humor Warnings: Language, much naughtiness, dubious humor Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work. Dedicated to Erica and Goblin 'cuz they are so cool! Luke was running late. Now I love him more than anything, and he has hundreds of fine qualities, but being on time isn't one of them. I shouldn't have been surprised, but given this was our big trip, I figured he would have put a little more effort into it. We'd been planning for months and it was going to be the Coolest Thing Ever. But I guess a leopard can't change it's spots, and Luke Snyder can't be on time. I pulled into the Snyder Farm driveway and got out of the car. Holden walked from the house, grinning crookedly. I had a bad feeling. "He overslept. He's in the shower now. I've given that kid about twenty damn watches and alarm clocks, but it's useless." "Honestly, if he were actually on time, I'd wonder if hell had frozen." Holden laughed and patted my shoulder. "So-excited?" "Very. Spent most of last night packing and repacking and fussing over the car. Luke would say I was indulging in my anal retentive tendencies, which is true. Oh, thanks for recommending Tony's garage. Everything checked out a-ok." Holden eyed my used Prius. I hated getting rid of the truck, but a cross country trip requires sensible gas mileage. "You like driving this?" "Yeah. Although I'm probably going to have to fight Luke over the control of the wheel, because he likes driving it too." "If he gets too ornery, just stuff him in the trunk." Holden chuckled. "Well, why don't you come inside, have a cup of coffee. You will, no doubt, have time." "Thanks, Holden." It still feels a bit weird calling him that. But after two years or knowing the Snyders, there isn't much formality anymore. We went into the house and into the kitchen. Lily was there, wearing an elegant bathrobe, reading a newspaper at the kitchen table. Ethan was at her feet, playing with some blocks. "He's running late." Lily said, without looking up from her paper. "So I've heard. 'Morning, Lily." I'm so happy that Lily and Holden are back together, and it seems pretty stable. Luke is over the moon about it. I helped myself to a cup of coffee, finding my favorite cup, a big white one from Mabel's diner. I was getting some milk out of the fridge when Emma came in, trailed by Natalie. "Hi Noah! Luke's late and he's upstairs swearing and stuff." I love Natalie to pieces, and one reason is she's the world's biggest tattletale. Mostly on Luke. "He's better not say anything naughty within earshot of me. He's not so big that I can't wash his mouth out with soap." Emma gave me a wink. "I'd pay to see that." I said, pouring some milk into my cup. "What kind of soap?" Natalie is also very detail oriented. "Your grandma has always been very big on Palmolive." Holden said, refreshing his cup, and taking the milk from me. "You would know." Emma said dryly. She pulled out a box from under the counter. "Now Noah-I made you a few things to take on your trip. I don't want you boys eating too much junk." Namely Luke. Eyebrows raised,I peered into the box. Cookies, bread, muffins, apple butter, and swear to god, Emma's famous pickles. Wow. Emma was a grandma's grandma. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Snyder." I still couldn't bring myself to say Emma. "Although I think you are operating under the illusion that we are going on an African safari. There will be grocery stores and stuff where we are going." I leaned over and kissed her soft cheek, smelled her Lily of the Valley cologne. She affectionately poked me in the ribs. "Smartypants," As I was taking a sip of my coffee, Lily asked. "Now, are you boys okay as far as money goes?" "We're fine. They also have this thing called ATM"s." Holden laughed and and Lily made a mock face at me. Faith walked in the room, followed by the man of the very late hour, Luke. He was in extreme frazzled mode. hair still wet and cowlicky, t-shirt damp. In other words, gorgeous. He was lugging a large back pack and had a very sheepish expression on his face. "Noah, I am SO sorry.. I overslept." I smiled "I need to get you an alarm without a snooze button. You ready to hit the road?" I took a final sip of coffee. Luke grinned wide and came over to give me a big smooch on the lips. It says a lot that it's not awkward kissing in front of Luke's family, although Faith did make fake gagging sounds. I only went slightly red and kissed him back. "Now, you're sure you boys won't have a nice breakfast before you go?" Luke sighed."Grandma, if we do that, it will be another hour and Noah would justifiably murder me. Besides..." he reached into the box of food and pulled out a muffin. "You have thoughtfully provided provisions for our long trek into the great unknown." I picked up the box and Luke followed me, eating as he walked. We were trailed by all the Snyders. I opened the trunk and Luke put his backpack in. He stared inside. "Is this ALL you're bringing, Mayer?" "You should know by now that I'm a very efficient packer. " Years of military training. I put the cardboard box inside and pulled out my movie camera to film what I call 'The Snyder Goodbye." It takes, on the average, twenty minutes and involves lots of hugs, kisses, Emma getting misty, Lily worrying, Ethan screaming, Natalie asking a weird question, Faith saying something sarcastic, and Holden giving a mild lecture. And this is just Luke. I got the shorter, Cliff notes version. I surrendered to the inevitable and gave Luke the keys, and we were finally off. Or at least down the driveway. I began to film this historic occasion. **** Luke and I are in such a good place right now. After all the bad shit we've been through, we've worked things out and are now closer and more in love than ever. I's been a struggle-the situation with my father, Ameera, the army-it was a mess. I was a mess. But Luke and I kept trying and now we've gotten to the good stuff. Hanging out, having fun and oh yes, sex. Lots and lots of sex. A motel room once in awhile is a Very Good Thing indeed. Although it still doesn't happen often enough in my book, since we've also been very busy. Along with school, there's my job with WOAK, and Luke's gig with the local paper. But this much anticipated vacation is going to remedy that. The whole month of June off, just the two of us. And afterwards, I ditch the dorms, and Luke and I start looking at apartments. Luke was the one that came up with the vacation idea. He's going through this Beat poet/Jack Kerouac phase, and the concept of just bumming around the country lit a fire in him. Me, I'd would have rather gone to some place tropical, where they have palms, beaches, nice beds and nothing to do but swim, sleep and shag. But Luke's been in Oakdale for most of his life, so the wanderlust took hold. After a while, and after Luke pestered me to read 'On the Road' and the 'Dharma Bums', I caught the bug as well. ***** We sped away from the farm, taking route 99. Luke drives like Holden, one hand on the wheel, one elbow hanging out the window. I filmed it for posterity. He spotted a paper bag lying between us. "What's this?" "A way to get us out of Oakdale without stopping at a 7-11." Luke grinned and riffled through it and saw that it was full of all his favorite bad candy. Seriously, he's five sometimes. "You spoil me." He opened a pack of Gummi worms with his teeth. "No, it's called enlightened self interest. Although I may be paying for it later, you in a confined space, on a sugar high." Luke chewed on a few psychedelic colored worms. "Sez you. I think I'm quite a hoot." He suddenly slowed down and pulled the car over. I put down my camera. "What are you doing? Shit-did we forget something?" Luke pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head. His dark brown eyes were full of mischief." Yup. Didn't give you a proper kiss back there in the kitchen. Get your skinny ass over here, Mayer." "Oh." I got all flushed, as Luke being all bossy and sexy really turns me on. I leaned over and he grabbed the back of my head. I found his lips, then his tongue. It was a nice, deep, wet soul kiss, the kind that makes your toes curl and your heart pound. It also tasted like sour apple. "Love you, Noah." he murmured. "Love you, Luke." I went in for another, because, among other things, I like sour apple. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a car pass, two girls in a convertible. They honked their horn and and gave us thumbs up signs. "All RIIIGGGHTT!! Whoooo!" Luke and I stared in shock, then we burst out laughing. " I guess getting applause for our manly lust is a good sign, right?" Luke said as he started up the car. "So-you ready, Dean?" It was an honor to be labeled Dean Moriarty, the coolest cat in literature, and so not me. "Gun it, Jack." And we were off. ***** The plan was to take back roads, hitting the small towns, past the tourist traps and getting to the cool stuff. The long way, the scenic route. We'd play our trip by ear, like jazz, like Jack and Dean did. We aimed the car south, in the vague direction of Memphis. We got off the freeway right away, and started on a thin, blue, sort of vague line on the map. I filmed the passing scene for awhile, and started to see more corn fields than subdivisions, more vegetable stands than supermarkets, hand made signs advertising nightcrawlers and eggs rather than billboards hawking cell phones. I put in a cd, a mix I made specifically for the trip. Johnny Cash started things off with "I've Been Everywhere". Luke raised an eyebrow over his shades. "Lemme guess-a collection of road songs. You are so cornball, Mayer." "Yup." I was making no apologies. Luke has brought out this romantic and yes, cornball streak in me, something I didn't know I had. He gives me a lot of shit, but secretly, I think he likes it. We went through tiny towns that I had never heard of, wide spots on the road. Some with interesting names, Ferno, Spottsville, Hellebore. Luke had fun making up histories and speculating on the goings-on in each one. Around one o'clock, Luke announced he was 'starving', even after a half pound of gummi worms. I have learned to not take this lightly, as a hungry Luke is a cranky Luke. He has a hummingbird metabolism, and requires frequent feedings. Which is how we ended up at a diner called Ida's in Zeller, pop. 245. I was a bit dubious, but Luke was highly enthusiastic, as it screamed local color. It was a tiny place, with about five red vinyl booths, a long counter, and some faded calendars hanging on the walls. Two old gents in matching John Deere caps were sitting at the far end of the counter, drinking coffee. This, apparently, was the lunch rush. We sat down at one of the booths and a minute later, a waitress came out from the kitchen, through a swinging door. She had a front like a battleship, a very tight perm and sort of a' just ate a lemon' expression. This did not bode well. But Luke is always my secret weapon in these situations. Have you heard the saying, 'can charm a bird off a tree' ? There's a picture of Luciano Grimaldi Snyder next to it. He took off his sunglasses and flashed a smile and dimples that woo babies, grandmas, dogs and basically anyone with a pulse. It worked. Our sourpuss waitress lit up like a Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. "Hi there-lovely day. Would you be the famous Ida?" She smiled wider. "Oh no honey, I'm Ardella." She had a little bit of a drawl, which meant we were getting closer to the Mason/Dixon line. She handed us some smudgy menus. "Ardella-that's a pretty name." Luke was pouring it on a bit thick here. He studied the menu. "So-what's good?" "We gotta special on chili dogs. And some nice peach pie." "Oh-that sounds great. I'll have a chili dog.,,,and an iced tea please." My head snapped up from behind the menu. If there is one thing I have learned, chili of any kind should be avoided while traveling. A chili dog is an even worse idea. But I couldn't exactly warn Luke, as Ardella was looking at me expectantly, pencil poised. "Umm...iced tea as well, and uh, the peach pie sounds good." Ardella wasn't as impressed with me. "I'll get your order out right quick, honey." She beamed adoringly at Luke once more and left he table. "A chili dog-really?" I whispered as soon as she was out of earshot. Luke rolled his eyes. "Sounded good." He smiled like a little boy bent on mischief. "And if you don't like it Mayer, you can crack a window in the car later." I had to laugh. "Luke Snyder, what kind of table talk is that?" It was one of Emma's favorite expressions, one she had to use frequently. I knew then that I had lost the argument. And besides, it wasn't my lower intestines. Luke chuckled and started to play with the salt and pepper shakers while I looked out the window at downtown Zeller. The only current activity was a lady pushing a stroller, followed by a small boy picking his nose and trailing shoelaces. I saw that Bark's Hardware had a sale on socket sets. Just then, the conversation between the two old gents at the counter got a bit louder. "So then, the damn rash started spreadin'." "You don't say?" "Yup. And really itching. Drove me bughouse." "What did Ethel make of it?" "That damn woman didn't want anything to do with it. She said Earl Pickett, you get your scrawny butt to the doctor before it falls off." "That sounds like Ethel. So, did you go see the doctor?" "Hell no. You know that Dr. Mitchell is a goddamn quack. You remember what he did to my hemorrhoids, don't you?" It was a bad idea, but I looked at Luke. His eyes were wide and he silently mouthed 'Oh. My. GOD.' at me. My shoulders began to shake with suppressed laughter, which got Luke going. In another second, we both had tears in our eyes. It didn't get any better. We were privy to Earl's entire tortuous medical history. When Ardella brought out our food, I couldn't talk, although Luke managed to find the strength to offer up a weak 'thank you'. Ardella eyed my reddened face with suspicion, but didn't comment. Earl kept on talking, which made it difficult to eat, because the more disgusting it got, the more wildly funny it got. I couldn't look at Luke at all, just concentrated on my pie, which actually was pretty tasty. There was one point that Luke came close to a spit take with his tea, one that would have done an old vaudevillian proud. When Earl got to the saga of his boils, Luke suddenly slapped a hand on the formica. "I'm done!" I agreed. We threw some money on the table to cover the bill and a generous tip and scrambled out the door. Once outside, all hell broke loose. We held each other upright, laughing hysterically. My ribs hurt. When I could finally breathe, I said, "I think I know why they don't have much business." Luke wiped at his eyes. "I felt like saying, Earl Pickett-that is not suitable table talk." That started me all over again. "Jesus Luke-stop!." We got in the car, still snickering. Luke started the car, and the voice of Tom Petty singing 'Running Down A Dream" began. I listened to it for a moment, then turned to Luke. "You know who I feel sorry for?" "Who?" "Poor Ethel. That woman is in hell." Luke laughed so hard we almost drove off the road. ***** We traveled without incident for another thirty miles. We talked, watched the scenery,and Luke sang along to some of the songs in his very tone deaf way. You haven't lived until you've heard Luke Snyder mangling the lyrics of "Born to Run". I consulted the map and we debated about wether we should go through Elmer's Junction or Ludo. After awhile though I noticed that Luke was getting rather pale and sweaty. Uh oh. I hesitated putting a new cd in the player. "Luke...you okay?" Luke's attention was entirely focused on the road. "Need a rest area." he said through clenched teeth. Since we were literally out in the toolies, the chances of us finding a nice, well maintained rest area were about as likely seeing a day spa. I quickly got the map out. "Umm...Wocohiscan is the closest town...take a left at the next fork. Maybe there's a restaurant or gas station or something." At least I hoped. Otherwise, Luke was going to have to make do on the side of the road, amid poison oak and kudzu-not a happy prospect. "Luke, why don't you stop the car and let me-" "Shut up, Noah." Luke's hands were white knuckled on the wheel. "But I-" "Shut UP, Noah!" Luke lead footed the gas pedal and we were suddenly going down the narrow country road like Steve McQueen in "Bullitt". I began to pray we weren't going to die over a bad chili dog. We roared into Wocohiscan, and there was a miracle. Right there, on the outskirts of town was a small, dusty station with a to the point sign saying, 'Joe's Gas." Luke scattered gravel when we pulled in. I couldn't tell if it was open or not as I got out of the car. A moment later, a man stepped out of the grimy building. He was wearing a pair of coveralls with the sleeves cut off, featuring beefy arms with faded tattoos. He had a red cap on with a leaping bass on the front. Neither the man or the coveralls looked like they had been washed since 1983. He had a friendly grin that broke through the surface crust. "Hey, Duke's of Hazard! What can I do for you?" I smiled. "Oh-need about ten gallons of premium." Luke, by this time, had gotten out of the car. His color had gone from pale to sheet white. "And um, I hope it's not too much trouble, but do you have a restroom my friend can use?" The person I assumed was Joe, chuckled. "Sure..help yourself. No wonder you were in a hurry..." He dug through a pocket, first producing a tin of chewing tobacco, then a keychain with a rabbit's foot on it. "It's right around the back." He said, tossing the key to Luke. "Be careful of the wasp's nest." Luke caught the keys, mumbled a 'thanks' and took off like he'd been shot of a cannon. I don't think I'd ever seen anyone move so fast. "Man...he could be in the Olympics." Joe said in wonderment, then he looked at me. "Wanna pop the gas cap? "Oh, you don't have to pump the gas, sir." I opened the driver's side door and popped both the fuel cap and the trunk. "Well, it may not look it, but this here's a full service station." Joe said genially, unlocking the hose. "Besides, it ain't like I'm busy." He gave me a wink, and started to fill up the tank. Joe seemed like a very nice guy, although it helped if you were upwind. Given the state of his coveralls, I began to have a serious feeling of dread about what the station's bathroom was like. Oh Luke. I went and got something from my bag out of the trunk, and then tossed it behind the front seat. "So, you boys passin' through or are you here for the fishin'?" "Oh, just passing through, sir. Why, is there good fishing here?" And here's where, of all things, I should be grateful to my dad. I am bad at general guy talk, as sports has always seemed pretty boring. However, as soon as fishing comes up, I'm a pro. It was the one good thing to come out of those camping trips from hell. "Oh, Lake Wocohiscan is the best kept secret in the county. Water clear as a bell, and full of bass, walleye, crappie, pike." Joe's eyes took on a true fanatical shine. "But if you want a real challenge, you head over to Lake Pearl-the blue cats in there are like the Loch Ness monster." Joe finished pumping gas into the tank, and hung up the hose. "Really?" I tried to look interested, but I was starting to get really worried about Luke. Joe proceeded to tell me about a historic evening of night fishing, while cleaning the bugs off our windshield. As he talked, an ancient dog started to amble from around the building. Sort of a Heinz 57, predominantly hound, he laid down in the dust and started to lick himself. "Anyways, I thought I had a submarine on the end of the damn line. That thing towed me from one end of the stinkin' pond to the other for at least an hour. When I finally hauled the cat in the boat, I couldn't believe my eyes-sucker was this big!" Joe stretched his arms out full length. "You're shitting me!" This is a handy phrase in this type of conversation. "I am not shitting you. That cat was at least a hunnerd pounds! Whiskers on it like..." Joe paused to glare at his dog. "Dammit Luke, quit licking your balls!" Just then, my Luke returned to the scene with perfect, impeccable timing. I had this wild urge to throw myself down on the ground and roll around laughing, especially at Luke's 'WTF?" expression. Priceless. Luke, still staring at the both of us, handed Joe his key back and thanked him again. He got into the passenger side with a subdued air. Joe wound up his Big Fish story and I paid him, plus tip. I also heroically managed not to give myself a hernia with contained laughter. This trip was wearing me out, and it was only the first day. "Thanks so much-congratulations on that fish." I said as I climbed into the car. "You're welcome." Joe gave the hood a friendly pat. "Safe journeys!" I waved and pulled the car back out into the road. Luke, in the meantime. was frantically digging through the glove box. "You okay?" Luke yanked out several maps. "Please be IN here!" He scrounged around some more, and with a triumphant cry, pulled out my much maligned bottle of Purell. He squirted a huge amount of disinfectant all over his hands. "Noah, I will never, ever make fun of your germ precautionary ways again." "Bathroom that bad?" "I don't have the words. I am this close to asking you to pull over and put some of this stuff on my ass!" Luke gave a huge shudder. I wanted to laugh again, but Luke was in a weakened state. Instead, I reached back and grabbed the bottle of Pepto Bismol I had retrieved from the trunk. I tossed it into Luke's lap. He glared. "You had this in the car the whole time and you didn't TELL me?" "I tried to. You told me, as I recall, to shut up." "Oh. Yeah. Sorry." Luke opened the bottle and took a big swig. "I was, um, not at my best." "I am taking that into consideration. Besides, " I grinned wide at him. "I do get one big 'I told you so' out of this after you are feeling better." Luke smiled back. "I suppose you do." And after another forty miles and half the Pepto, Luke was able to find the whole thing funny too. Especially Luke the dog. **** We passed cornfield after cornfield, and the monotony was broken by an occasional pumpkin patch, along with herds of cows. Then I spotted something glittering in the sunlight. It was a sign, decorated with old hub caps, polished to a high gleam. It read 'Mr. Pedee's Garden of Wonders-Three Miles.' That sounded hugely intriguing. I looked over at Luke, who had his sunglasses off and was absently chewing on a fingernail. "Want to go to Mr. Pedee's?" Luke arched a cynical brow. "You want to go to a 'Garden of Wonder'? Are you kidding? So far, our sightseeing choices haven't been so good." "I'm not the one who ate the chili dog." Luke made a face, deciding to be stubborn. "It sounds stupid." "No it doesn't-c'mon Luke. Isn't that what our trip is all about-seeing things that are off the beaten track? Please?" I gave him my best puppy dog look. Which frankly, is nothing near Luke's pleading eyes, but I'm getting better. I am, after all, his padawan. Luke had to chuckle. "Okay, okay. Stop with the eyes already!" I smiled in triumph, and secretly hoped this wasn't going to backfire on me, because I would never hear the end of it. We found another sign that led us down a very narrow, windy country lane, not exactly the place where you would find a roadside attraction. We finally found Mr. Pedee's. There was another hand lettered sign that was decorated with all kinds of odd stuff, old tin cans, buckets and tractor gears, all shined to sparkle. There was a small farmhouse on a slight hill, painted an orange so vibrant it burned the back of your eyeballs. it was surrounded by a big fence that was draped with an ocean of honeysuckle. As we got out of the car, the smell was overpowering. I took along my movie camera, just in case. We walked up to the gate, which was covered stuff-bottle caps, old postcards and ads, buttons, broken glass. There was a small doorbell there, so I pressed it. I glanced at Luke, who had his arms folded and a slight frown on his face. I began to get nervous as we waited for another two minutes. I was about to admit defeat when the gate opened, and there was Mr. Pedee in all his glory. "Well, hello there-welcome!" Mr. Pedee was tall and thin, and it would have been hard to guess how old he was-anywhere from sixty to ninety. His skin was the color of old mahogany and he was dressed like a Mardi Gras parade. Purple pants and a green shirt, a yellow vest covered with a million buttons, some political, some advertising something, some merely decorative. He had a wide, generous smile, like a sunny afternoon. He held aloft a Folger's coffee can. "As you might have guessed, I'm Mr. Pedee. Admisson is one dollar." I got out my wallet and paid for Luke and myself. I saw the coffee can was pretty empty. Mr. Pedee acted like I was handing him the Hope diamond. "Thank you kindly, young man-what's your name?" I smiled at him, as it was hard to resist his grin. Luke was smiling too. "I'm Noah, and this is Luke." "Noah and Luke, Luke and Noah-good names, like in the bible. Where are you boys from?" "We're from a little town called Oakdale, sir." Luke answered. "Oakdale, Oakdale...that's up north a ways, isn't it?" Mr. Pedee pointed vaguely in that general direction. We both nodded. "Well, I shouldn't just stand here jawing, should let you go inside for a look see." He opened the gate further and let us in. "Now, let me tell you how this whole thing started. I worked for fifty years with county sanitation, and sometimes, I couldn't believe what some folks threw out. Seemed a shame to let it go all to waste in a dump. So I started bringing it home, which drove my wife, Evadell, crazy. Said if I was going do such a fool thing, I'd better put I to some use. So I decided to make something pretty out of it." It is hard to convey with words what Mr. Pedee's garden looked like. There were flowers everywhere, and I am not a horticulture expert, but they were spectacular. Roses, morning glory, pansies and a million or so that I couldn't identify. And they were planted in the most unusual things-bath tubs and baby strollers, old tires, a piano and cowboy boots. They were complimented by the sculptures of animals and people, which if you looked closer, they were created from Mr. Pedee's favorite material, junk. Forks and knives gave a crocodile believable teeth, there was a horse made out of bicycle parts, turtles and rabbits made out of springs and tin cans. And in the trees, there were hundreds of glass wind chimes hanging from the branches, along with bottles filled with colored water, and an actual chandelier. It was like suddenly being transported to Oz. I know it sounds strange, but it was really beautiful. Luke and I looked at each other, and we both said 'Wow' without actually speaking. I held up my movie camera. "Um...Mr. Pedee-this is just fanastic. Would it be all right sir, if I filmed some of your garden? I would understand if you said no." "Noah, it would be just fine, As you may have noticed, this ain't Disneyland. I just do it to make folks smile. Just be sure to give due credit to my Evadell-all these flowers are her doing. That woman can grow a rose out of a rock." "My grandma would love to talk to her." Luke said as he examined a swan made out of old pipes, swimming in a mass of what I was assumed were forget-me-nots. "Your wife is quite the gardener, sir." Mr. Pedee smiled wide, showing a few gold teeth. "She says the secret is egg shells and coffee grounds." He shrugged. "Don't ask me." He took me gently by the elbow. "Now Noah, I want to show you something special." He led me over to the corner of the garden and around a giant lilac bush. "A year back, I got a bit tired of making sculptures, So I decided to try my hand at painting...figured it would be right up your alley." We turned a corner and found a small wall. "What do you think?" Mr.Pedee had decided to paint a mural of what looked like Noah and the Ark in the most psychedelic colors imaginable, colors that the hippies in Haight Ashbury would have said were too loud. His anatomy and perspective were a bit all over the place, but his imagination and flourish more than made up for it . I saw that along with the lions, elephants and camels going in two by two, Mr. Pedee added flying horses, dragons, and some animals that I didn't recognize. "Mr. Pedee, this is really wonderful. Thank you for sharing it." His old eyes crinkled up in pleasure, and I was reminded of one of the few phrases from the bible that I recalled, the one about 'thereby some have entertained angels unawares.' I had a feeling Mr. Pedee would fit the angel bill really well. "Well, I'll let you young men poke around to your heart's content." He pulled out an honest to god railroad watch from his pocket. "One of my stories is almost on, hate to miss it." He patted my arm and smiled at Luke." Bless you both, Noah and Luke." Luke and I both said goodbye and watched Mr. Pedee make his slow, dignified way back to his Halloween pumpkin colored house. As soon as he was gone, Luke rested chin on my shoulder. "Noah...this is really, really special. So glad we came." I could tell that the story writing gears were going around in his head. I gave him a quick, happy kiss. "Me too." We spent a long time there, and I got tons of cool footage. We didn't notice the sky growing darker and a wind coming up until a few raindrops started to spatter the ground. I took one last look, and then we headed to the gate. Before we left, Luke and I put fifty dollars in Mr. Pedee's coffee can. ***** Luke wanted to drive and I didn't mind. As we headed back down the road, Luke said, "That place reminded me that song you like so much, the Louis Armstrong one...' " Wonderful World?" "Yeah." Luke started up the windshield wipers, as it had started to rain in earnest. "It makes you think that there's a balance after all, and in spite of all the crap in the world, there's good things, too. " I nodded and smiled wide, because that was it exactly, then tried to find my Louis mix. And here's where we got into trouble. While I was looking for the cd, Luke was still busy talking, and we both weren't paying attention to where we were going. Somehow we made a wrong turn, and ended up on this road in the middle of absolute nowhere. It hit home when the lane-which was looking more and more like a cow trail, abruptly ended at a fence. "Hmmm..." Luke said, peering over the steering wheel. "I think I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque." I raised my eyebrows and chuckled. "This isn't Pismo Beach?" Luke isn't the only person that has watched far too many Bugs Bunny cartoons. "Nope." Luke started to put the car in reverse, and then the sky literally opened up. Not just buckets, whole bathtubs. "Holy crap!" "Ummm...maybe we should stay put for the moment. At least until we can see where we're going." I started thinking about Mr. Pedee's Noah and the Flood mural. "I have to agree." Luke turned the car off and we listened to the rain pelt the top of the car for a few minutes. I reached out and took Luke's hand, because well, it was kind of romantic. Luke seemed agree. He squeezed my hand, then brought it to his lips, kissing my palm. I sighed, and I could feel that sexual current, that runs so strong between us, suddenly go into high gear. I leaned over and he met his mouth with mine, and we shared one of those deep, toe curling kisses that I love so much. We broke apart, breathing hard, and Luke nibbled on my lower lip. "Get in the back seat, Mayer." Luke's voice was an octave lower, and I felt a hot, hormonal rush. Luke is very bossy when it comes to sex, and it just kills me. "We haven't done it in the Prius yet." Before I melted into a pool of willing goo, I had to interject a little common sense. "Not to be a spoilsport, but the last time we attempted vehicular sex, you ended up with an almost concussion and I had a bloody nose." It wasn't one of our more shining moments as a couple, although it had a big side benefit. We decided then and there to rent a damn hotel room. Luke grabbed the sides of my face and gave me another searing, demanding kiss. "Get in the back seat, Noah. Now!" He said dark brown eyes boring into mine. I decided not to argue anymore. I wasn't crazy. "'kay." My voice was a little wobbly. We hastily unbuckled and opened the car doors. We both got drenched in the few seconds it took to get into the back. I didn't think it was possible, but Luke looked even sexier with his hair plastered to his skull and his t shirt clinging wetly to his body. I didn't get much time to admire, because he immediately pounced, pinning me backwards. He tasted like cool rain water with his warm, silky lips underneath. Oh my fucking god. I explored his mouth, then licked his chin and ran my tongue down the length of his throat. Luke gave a soft, very low moan and he ground his crotch into mine, making me almost forget to breathe for a second. I found the dip in the small of his back, a favorite place, and let my hands linger over it before yanking off his shirt. This time I traced his collar bone with my mouth, then went south, finding the soft hair on his chest, now damp with rain and sweat. I breathed in his scent, bit a nipple just hard enough to make Luke groan and shudder. I smiled and bit harder. "Oh, shit, Noah!" Luke was now revved up to a hundred and I wasn't far behind. When Luke gets to this point, he starts to talk, and always has a running commentary. It makes the whole situation even more combustible, although sometimes, it's also funny. Luke and I aren't big on endearments when just talking to each other-it's Snyder or Mayer. But in the throes of passion, I'm Luke's baby. Afterwards, I've accused him of imitating Austin Powers. But in the thick of things, it's one more big turn on. "Mmmm, yeah Noah, oh, right there baby, ummm, oh god, that's good, you're so good, so sexy, yeah baby, are you hard now? Want me to get you harder?" Luke whispered hoarsely in my ear. He ran his hands under my shirt, brushing my nipples, scratching my ribcage with his nails. I swallowed. "Please, Luke." Luke gave a low, obscene chuckle. "Want me to make you come?" The way he drew out the last word, I almost did. 'Please..." I was panting now, and when Luke yanked up my shirt and licked path down to my navel, then even lower. He unbuckled my belt with expert hands, and pulled my jeans and boxers off my hips. He smiled in the weird half light. "So fucking beautiful, Noah Mayer." I snapped out of my erotic stupor and got Luke free of his belt, unbuttoned his jeans and roughly shoved his underwear away. He arched his back when I touched his cock. "Fuck, fuck fuck..." He bit my shoulder as I stroked him a few times. We looked into each others eyes and I knew this was going to get down and real dirty right quick. Luke licked his palm, an unbelievable sight, and I followed suit. I grabbed his cock, which was now slick with pre come, and started the friction in earnest. Luke wrapped a warm callused hand around my dick and began to make me moan. Luke started up the play by play again, voice ragged and deep. "That's a good moan, baby, such a nice hard cock too, bet I'm going to make you come first, oh yeah, oh, this feels so fucking good, c'mon, Noah, let go, get loud..." "Fuck, Luke!" I am never quite as eloquent. Then again, it's hard to get a word in edgewise. Luke gave another couple strokes and my balls tightened and I just let go, my entire body shaking. I was barely aware of Luke's orgasm, warm sticky fluid spurting over my hand. I went completely boneless, and Luke shivered on top of me. I kissed his damp hair, and chuckled. "I think it's stopped raining." Luke sighed and nuzzled my chin. "Damn. I was kind of hoping we'd be stuck here for awhile." "Well, I dunno. I was just thinking this is the sort of a horror movie scenerio-couple making out on a deserted road...and then the maniac shows up... " I wiped some of the steam from the windows and sort of checked to see if Leatherface was lurking around. Luke snorted. "You are SUCH a dork!" He kissed my mouth and then, I noticed, he surreptitiously checked another window. I laughed and smooched him back. "Love you too...baby." Luke rolled his eyes and gave me a poke in the ribs. We proceeded to pull ourselves back into a G rated mode with the help of some tissues. (Luke makes fun of those too. Well, we needed them now.) We got back into the front and Luke started the car. This time it wouldn't budge. Shit. Luke tried to go forward, with no results either. He took a deep breath. "Stating the obvious, but I think we're stuck." We both went out to look and one of the tires was in mud up to the hubcap. We decided to pop open the trunk and pull everything out that was adding extra weight, and put it on the side of the road. Luke go back in the driver's seat, tried to ease it out again. He went forward a little bit, but the car still wouldn't budge. Luke opened the window. "Maybe if you give it a push..." "Okay." I got behind the trunk and said, "Ready when you are..." "All right..." Luke put it in drive,and I pushed with all my strength. God. it was hard to keep my footing because the mud was so slick, but I kept shoving and all of a sudden, the car lurched forward. Unfortunately, Luke then gunned it, and I splatted face first into the mud. I don't think Charlie Chaplin could have done a better pratfall. I was struggling to my feet as Luke got out of the car to check on me. I wiped the mud out of my eyes, and saw he was grinning like a monkey. "Oh Noah-I-I'm SO sorry..." He began to laugh, tried to stop himself, and then laughed even harder. "It's just, well-you look-oh god! It's just so funny..." He grabbed my arm and helped me up. I let him laugh for a minute longer. Then I took one of my hands and smeared mud all over his face. "Now this is even funnier." Luke stared at me in shock and then we both cracked up. **** I changed clothes-not fun to do on the side of the road, especially with Luke wolf whistling the whole time, the bastard. I got most of the mud off my face and Luke's with a towel I had in the trunk. I noticed he stopped making fun of my boy scout preparedness at this point. I got behind the wheel, and after a few more detours, we we found the main road again. Louis Armstrong was singing 'Mack the Knife' when we finally crossed the state line into Kentucky. We both cheered. We came to the conclusion that stopping soon would be a good idea-Luke was actually hungry again (he had truly recovered from the chili dog) and I was ravenous. Sex does that to me. We stopped at a little town near Paducah called Little Fort. It had a little diner on the main street called the Tip Top, and the full parking lot was a good sign. I had a really good club sandwich, while Luke played it safe with a grilled cheese. A lesson was learned. Luke asked the waitress when she brought us our bill about nice places to stay. (And yeah, he was flirting again. It worked.) She drew a little map on the back of a napkin directing us to a place named The Wheel Inn. Really. Her directions were great, and we ended up at this place that looked like it hadn't changed since the 50's. Little separate wooden cabins with checked curtains in the windows. It was pretty deserted, just one other car in the parking lot. Now I know this was stupid, but 'Psycho' kept running through my mind. If the owner was named Norman and stuffed birds as a hobby, we were so out of there. Luke, on the other hand, was completely charmed. We went into the office and rang the bell on the desk. A minute later and a woman, not Anthony Perkins, emerged from the back room. She was maybe a little older than me, very curvy, with red hair and freckles. She gave us a wide grin. "Hey, there. Welcome to the Wheel." I noticed she was really giving Luke the once over, and I felt a prick of possessiveness. "Hey, yourself." Luke, of course, turned on the charm, which normally doesn't bug me, but in this case, it was like throwing gas on the fire. She leaned over the counter, so Luke could get a good look a her ample cleavage. And I thought, a bit smugly, ha, ha sister. "Like a room-obviously- a double, please." I breathed a small 'thank god' sigh here, as this was a big point of contention about our our trip. I'm all for being out and proud, but since we were going to be traveling in some fairly back water areas, I thought it would be best if we didn't exactly advertise it. Luke countered with the fact that gay bashing happens in a big cities as well as a small towns, which was also absolutely true. We never quite settled it, at least until this moment. I was guilty and relieved at the same time. She pushed the check in roster over to Luke, as he was getting out his credit card "So, you boys here in Little Fort for business or pleasure?" Jesus. It almost was like she was putting up a big neon sign saying, 'Do You Want to Fuck?' "Oh, a bit of both." I figured it must be the Grimaldi genes or something that make him get all dimply and sexy. Then Luke shot me this look as she was running his card, and I realized he was just winding me up. Dammit-I fall for it every time. I silently fumed as she finally finished checking us in and handed us our keys. We left the office as she said, "Well-if y'all get bored, the office is open until midnight." "I'll just bet." I muttered as soon as we were out of earshot. Luke, of course, was snickering as he nudged my arm. "You're so cute when you're all jealous, Noah. And like I would be interested in a pair of double d's." We got to the car and I opened the trunk. "Just behave yourself, Luciano." I pulled out my backpack, and then gave him a hard swat on the ass. "Ow! Noah!" Luke was a bit surprised by this at first. Then he grinned. "Wow-you getting all caveman is kinda hot." I rolled my eyes and started to haul our luggage into cabin twelve. It turned out to be very nice and cozy in a rustic sort of way. Wood paneling, some heavy looking furniture, and a television with actual rabbit ears. It also had a strange, faint smell. Luke paused as he set his back pack on one of the beds, and sniffed the air. "Smells a little like..." "Skunk." I concluded. "Miss Wheel Inn from the office must be near." Luke cracked up and came over and hugged me. "Noah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that to you. It wasn't nice, even if she didn't have a snowball's chance in hell." I gave him a big, wet kiss. "No, it wasn't nice, you brat." I bit his earlobe, then whispered in it, making my voice go deeper. "Make it up to me in the shower." Now, I don't think I'm as sexy or as suave as Luke, but I have had a few moments. And this had the desired effect on Luke, his face got very flushed, and he had a bit of a deer in the headlights look. He finished bringing our stuff in in record time. I started unpacking, while Luke explored the bathroom. I found my shampoo and shaving kit, just as the sound of running water hit the tiles. I smiled to myself, thinking that Luke was pretty eager to make amends. I sat down on the bed, took off my shoes and socks and all the while thinking of a naked, wet Luke. I was going to prolong the waiting, but I don't have that much willpower. I quickly got undressed, and before I went into the bathroom, I checked the door and made sure it was locked AND bolted. I know it was stupid, but I didn't want Norman Bate's mother, or the bimbo with a pass key coming in. The bathroom was pristine and tiled, and I could make out the shadow of Luke's body through the rising steam and the shower curtain. I slipped inside and wrapped my arms around his chest, nuzzling his neck. Luke turned around and pressed his body to mine, his erection poking into my hip bone. "Hey, Mayer." He licked a slow trail down the front of my chest, while his hands kneaded my ass. I took a deep breath, then found his mouth, my hands running up and down his spine. "Hey, Snyder." He grinned wickedly and grabbed a bar of soap. "Turn around, Noah." Oh boy. I leaned against the tiles, and Luke began suds up my back, rubbing my shoulder muscles, which felt so damn good. I moaned a little, especially when Luke's hard on 'accidentally' brushed against my ass. He was teasing me, and my cock and libido enjoyed it very much. Those busy, busy hands of his then started to stroke my chest, traveling downwards, just getting to the point where he was about to touch my dick, but just... didn't... quite. I moaned again, into the crook of my arm. "You like that, Noah...hmm?" "Oh, yes, Luke. God, yes." One hand slid over my right hip bone, while another found my pubic bone. My cock gave a sharp jump, and I almost came when Luke thrust his dick against my ass. Luke abruptly spun me around, and in one fluid motion, got down on his knees and deep throated me. There was a tiny part of me, the part that wasn't wildly turned on, that admired his technique. It wasn't always like this-Luke and I discovered in the beginning that we both have a strong gag reflex. But, as they say, practice makes perfect, and Luke's mouth was like sin itself. I had to close my eyes for awhile, because the sight of him going down on me is so incredibly dirty/hot, and I wanted to last. Fat chance. I found myself grabbing the shower rail to keep myself upright and then Luke started to hum around my cock. I gasped, looked down, and the orgasm hit me like a freight train. I think I managed to say something like, "Gah!" Luke stood up and hugged me, and enormous Cheshire Cat grin on his face, mightily pleased with himself. When I could figure out how my body worked again, I hugged him back. I kissed his forehead, and he whispered hoarsely in my ear, "Let's get out of the shower, Mayer." Ah, round two. At that point, I wasn't sure I was up for it-literally. But I'm always willing to give it a good ol' college try. We did some actual washing before turning off the water, although Luke was in a powerful hurry-couldn't blame him. We toweled each other dry and Luke always looks so damn cute with his hair wet and ruffled, like baby duck fuzz. He then literally dragged me from the bathroom and shoved me on the bed. he started digging through his back pack while I stared at the ceiling in a post blowjob haze. "Shitfuckcrap-where did I put it?" Luke threw a bunch of t-shirts on the other bed, as well as his journal, more gummi worms and a copy of "On the Road". I watched with vague interest. "Maybe in a side pocket?" Luke's underwear went flying, followed by socks. "No, I know exactly where I put it-aha!" Luke triumphantly held up the biggest tube of lubricant I had ever seen. I started to laugh "Jesus-where the hell did you get that? Costco? I didn't know it came in economy size." I laughed harder. "Just how much fucking did you plan on doing on this trip?" Luke blushed, which doesn't happen often. "Uh-quite a lot, actually." he sat down beside me. "I've never had 24/7 access to you before, Mayer, thought we'd make the best of it. Ordered it special from the internet-supposed to be really good stuff." I snatched the tube from his hands, still snickering. "You're brave. Thank god Emma didn't open the package by mistake. Especially since this stuff is called XTC. Clever. Is it the lube of choice on porn sets?" Luke began to laugh too. "Har, har. Give it here, Noah." Luke reached out a hand. I smacked it away and narrowed my eyes. "You come and get it." Luke lunged at me and we wrestled around for awhile, always fun. Especially since I usually win. Luke's got muscles from all that stall mucking, but I'm still stronger. I flipped him over and pinned him to the bed, sitting on his stomach. We both were breathing hard, and Luke was, well, hard. I leaned forward and gave him my best wicked grin. "Now just lie there Luke, and shut the hell up." It was time to give Mr. Bossy a lesson. Of course, Luke wouldn't go down without a fight. "Noah-" "Shut it." I slid off Luke's stomach and on to his legs, eyeing that wonderful erection. I opened the lube and poured a large amount in my hand. It got warm as I rubbed it over my fingers-nice. I then throughly coated Luke's cock. "Uh...Noah..." This was less of a demand and more of a groan. "Snyder, can you ever STOP talking?" I took a deep breath, wondering if I could pull this off without any prep. I positioned myself over Luke's and very, very slowly slid him inside me. It was kind of painful, but a good pain, and the expression on Luke's face more than made up for it. Sort of gobsmacked. "Oh, fuck, Noah-you should have let me-" My legs were shaking, both from arousal and the burn. "I'm fine..." My voice, I noticed, had gotten deeper. "Feel good?" "Hell yes." Luke's face was flushed as well as his chest. He was panting slightly, brown eyes glittering. I started to move a little, rocking up and down. Luke grabbed my hips, guiding me a little. Then he started for my cock. I grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. "My show, Luke." I growled. "My rules." Luke couldn't help it, he whimpered and I grinned. It was getting easier and easier to move and each trip down hit my prostate. With shaking hands I found the lube again and poured some over my dick, and some of it pooled over Luke's stomach. I wet my lips and began to stroke myself. "Oh gooooddd, Noah!" Luke was on the brink, his body went tense. We locked eyes and he let out a long, low moan from deep inside. Luke is unbelievable when he comes, like a debauched angel. His orgasm triggered mine and I shuddered and came hard all over his stomach and chest. We stayed locked together for awhile, sweaty and shaking. Luke stared numbly up and I gave him a very smug grin. He smiled weakly back. "So, what was he number of that bus that just hit me?" He snickered. "Oh, that was no bus! That was my gorgeous, sexy, nasty, wonderful boyfriend." He reached out his arms. "C'mere, you." I carefully slid off Luke and into his embrace. He peppered kisses all over my face, ending with my lips. He tasted like salt and sex. "I like your lube, Snyder. Works great...although we might have to do some more testing." "Damn." Luke murmured. "Yeah, damn." We had to take another shower of course, unless we wanted to stick to the sheets and each other. We didn't linger, as a couple killer orgasms kind of wears you out. Luke brushed his teeth and basically collapsed naked in the bed, I put on a t-shirt and boxers. It's a thing with me, I just can't sleep nude. I checked the door one more time to make sure it was locked, then spooned in behind Luke. I never had a teddy bear growing up, but I have been amply rewarded later in life. Luke snuggled close and I kissed his cheek. "Night, Luke..love you." "Night, baby." I could see Luke's half smile as I reached over and turned out the light. Before I fell asleep though, I absently noticed that skunky smell had gotten a tiny bit stronger. **** I was in that very deep sleep state that if awakened abruptly, you don't know where the hell you are or what is going on. I felt an elbow jab my ribs and I opened my eyes, looking around the dark in confusion. "Wha-" Luke covered my mouth and whispered in my ear. "Do you hear something?" I strained my ears, and sure enough, there was this soft, rustling sound inside the room. For a brief second, every bad horror movie I had ever seen flashed through my mind and my heart began to pound. I couldn't make out what was in the room though, even though my eyes had adjusted to the dark. I could see Luke's arm reach up and turn on the light. I braced myself. The light went on, and there was...nothing. I drew a breath and heard another noise. Luke and I both looked in the same direction and saw it was coming from Emma's food box sitting on a nearby table. What the hell...? Luke gasped and my mouth hung open when we saw that inside the box was a real live skunk, happily snacking on Emma's muffins. Luke and I stared at each other in complete panic for a moment. "How did it get IN here?" I whispered. Luke nudged me and we both slid off the bed on to the carpet. "How the hell should I know?" he whispered back. " Maybe there's a hole in the floorboards. In any case, we need to get the fuck out of here without pissing it off." I don't think anyone moved more quietly and quickly than we did in that motel room. Luke grabbed a pair of underwear that he had thrown on the bed earlier and yanked them on. He crammed the rest of his stuff into his back pack, and I followed suit with my own. We decided to leave whatever we had in the bathroom, it was just too close to danger. And while we were scrambling around, Pepe Le Pew munched away. The last thing I grabbed was my keys and wallet off the night stand, and then I realized I had also brought in my movie camera. Which happened to be on a chair right near Mr. Skunk. Oh. Fuck. I took a deep breath and crawled over to it. Luke, by this time, was at the door and shaking his head 'no' frantically. But there wasn't a way in hell I was going to leave it behind. I slowly picked it up, saw the skunk's black and white tail sticking over the box and closed my eyes. Nothing. I backed away, camera in hand. Luke, by this time had opened the door and was outside with both our back packs. I padded outside in my bare feet and was finally able to breathe. Luke slugged me on the shoulder. "Mayer! You idiot! Do you have any idea just how BAD a skunk is at close range?" "Well, it was fortunate that he liked Emma's muffins so much." I ran a hand through my hair. "And we were also fortunate he didn't let loose while we were sleeping." Luke just shuddered in response. We both got dressed in the dark parking lot, and since Luke was shivering, I threw my denim jacket over his shoulders. We did a careful inventory, making sure we retrieved all the important stuff. And for a minute we couldn't find Luke's wallet or the lube, but they had both gotten into my pack instead. I'm not sure either of us would have dared to go into the room again. I glanced at the motel office. "Should we wake up the management and tell them what's going on?" Luke, by this time, had gotten over the shock and was now very cranky. He doesn't do well in the wee hours. "Fuck, no! I say we leave and let them find out for themselves." And it wasn't very nice of me, but I had a happy image of Miss Thing opening the door and getting a big surprise. So sue me. Luke was about to get into the driver's side and I was opening my door when an overpowering oder, like horrible burning rubber filled the air. Pepe had apparently made a statement and I could now see why Luke had been so panicked. We jumped in the car and Luke floored it, tires squealing. I was holding my nose. "Oh my god, that was AWFUL! " Then I started to laugh, because it was also pretty damn funny. Luke, however, didn't join in. Instead he looked at me with a very upset expression."Noah-I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry? Luke, I know you can be a control freak, but you don't have anything to do with skunks breaking and entering." "Yeah, but this whole stupid trip was my idea. You wanted to go to some nice place on the beach, and instead we get the hell's bathroom and the stinky skunk motel." "We also went to Mr. Pedee's and made out in the Prius." I patted his leg. "C'mon, Luke! This is great. Kerouac wasn't about four star hotels or Cub Med. And besides, it doesn't matter where we go, it could be Timbuktu or Iceland. As long as I'm with you, it's so worth it." Luke gave me a long look and I could see by the dashboard lights his eyes were shiny with tears. "Mayer, for someone who says they aren't good with words, you sure do come through once in awhile. I love you." I blinked and the road got watery for a minute. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Love you too." I took a deep breath. "So where to next, Jack? "I don't care Dean, as long as there's coffee." Luke smiled and headed the car south, and I turned the cd player on. Louis started singing "Wonderful World." And it was. Author's note: None of the towns and places are real except Paducah. (I do hope there really is a Mr. Pedee's.) |
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| Rebop13 | New story-The Scenic Route (page: 1 2) | 34 | Oct 24 2008, 5:07 AM EDT by firebolt87 | ||
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Thread started: Jul 22 2008, 4:20 AM EDT
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Well, I thought about sending Luke and Noah to some place exotic, but instead, I sent them on the sort of vacation I would have. I apologize in advance for some questionable humor, but after the "Drowning" angst fest I couldn't resist. It wasn't going to be so long or so naughty originally, but the boys kept insisting. How could I say no?
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