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Truth or Dare, chapter 6
| Title: Truth or Dare? Chapter: 6/9 Rating: PG-13 Summary: Same day as chapter 5 (Sunday morning) - Holden and Lily react to what Luke has told them Characters: Holden, Lily, Luke, Maddie Genre: AU (what if Luke was still in the closet and using Jade as his beard during his WOAK internship), Angst Warnings: Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work. |
“It’s a lot to take in.” Holden broke the silence, and looked over at Lily. Her rumpled brown hair floated around her shoulders. She was gripping her coffee cup tightly, eyes puffy from crying. He rubbed at the stubble along his jawline and ran his fingers through his dirty hair. Neither of them had slept very well. Luke had gotten up before everyone else and was tackling his chores.
Lily teared up again. “Our little boy, Holden!” she whispered, “It’s like he’s a stranger. All this time… I don’t know if I can get past this.”
“Lily, he’s not a stranger, he’s still our son.” Holden tried to sound as reassuring as he could. He was rattled by Luke’s admission the day before. My son is gay. He had been rolling the phrase around in his mind all night. My son. He pictured himself saying it to other people. My son is gay.
It had been a while since he’d seriously entertained the thought. He’d been suspicious before but never courageous enough to ask the questions. Had felt his mouth turn to desert, felt his throat funnel the words back into his stomach when he found himself on the brink: Luke. Are you… Back then, he’d panicked at the thought. Well, time had passed. And now that he knew it to be true, his heart ached, but not for the reasons he’d expected. He struggled to make sense of that.
“Of course he’s our son, Holden,” Lily was exasperated, “But how can this have happened to him? He’s so young! How can he be so sure of something he knows so little about? And don’t let’s start with this ridiculous thing with Jade. That girl…”
Holden interrupted her quietly. “I know. Jade is, well I don’t know what to even call her. But we have to set her aside and focus on Luke right now. He needs to know we still love him and that we accept him. But lying and deceiving us, and everyone who cares about him, was wrong and that has to stop.”
Lily stood up absentmindedly and went to get herself more coffee. She picked up the coffee pot, but replaced it without actually pouring a drop. “That’s not all that’s wrong, Holden. This isn’t what I wanted for my son, not in a million years,” she admitted sadly. “I’m not prejudiced, I swear I never, it’s just – how can –“ She broke off before the tears could start again.
Wrong. The word finally kicked something open in Holden and he thought his chest would burst. Wrong. The ache he felt for Luke was starting to be clearer. He forced open ancient wounds and dragged himself back to an earlier time, when he was nothing but a hired hand, a stable boy to a beautiful teenaged heiress – the woman now standing across his childhood kitchen from him. Holden relived her early taunts, savored the taste of his own jealousy, stung himself anew with her mother’s withering disdain. He was nothing and nobody, the wrong man, wanting the impossible. Some boundaries were not meant to be breached, yet together they’d breached them. They were living proof. He’d loved the wrong person and she’d loved him back. Wrong.
Just when he thought his chest couldn’t get much fuller, something else broke loose inside him. He was gripped with dread of the unknowable things that would lay in Luke’s life path. His son was brave, he marveled in that moment, so very brave and so fragile all at the same time. Thousands upon thousands of languages, yet there weren’t words enough on earth for his son.
He rose from the table and walked over to her. “Lily.” His voice was husky as he took the coffee cup from her hands and set it behind her. He laid his rough cheek against her smooth one and they swayed into each other’s comfort. Slowly, tenderly his hands roamed: from the sides of her full breasts, breasts that had nourished their children; sliding down the curve of her ribs, ribs that sheltered a heart that still beat for him; tapering to her gorgeous waist, the waist that was softly thickening with middle age. His touch was reverent. After all these years, she still had the power to amaze him in every inch of her. He explored lower, bringing his hands to the curves of her womanly hips. God, her hips. He slid one hand around to the small of her back and held her for a few beats. Lily moved her hands from his chest, bringing them to rest on the backs of his biceps and leaned her head into the pressure of his. Always.
“Lily.” He slowly breathed her name once again into her ear. “Luke is not wrong. He’s exactly who he should be. Do you know how I know our son is perfect in every way that matters?” He felt tears, hot and stinging, start to rise to his eyes.
She leaned back slightly from him. “How?” she asked brokenly. Holden pulled her hands into his and knelt on one knee at her feet. He placed their hands over her belly.
“Because you made him. In your body.” He whispered, awestruck, before pressing his lips over their entwined hands. Eyes closed, he nuzzled the side of his head against her. “All our kids. All perfect.”
Lily sucked in a sharp breath and two fresh tears spilled down her face. She moved her hands from beneath his, poured them into his hair and hugged his head into the telltale swells of her maternal history. Slipping her hands back into his, she urged him to his feet.
“And you’ve loved him. With everything in you. Thank you,” she croaked into his chest. They stood there, in the kitchen, clutching and rocking one another.
-=-=-=-
A few hours later, Lily stood at the sink washing tomatoes for lunch when there was a knock at the screen door. “Maddie! What can I do for you? I think Luke is still out in the barn but he’s probably almost finished with his chores; I’ll tell him you’re here.”
“No! I mean, that’s OK, Mrs. Snyder, I’m just looking for something I left here yesterday.” Maddie looked around the kitchen and spied her purse and clothes, neatly folded in a corner. “Yep! Well, I’ll be off, then. Thanks.”
At that moment Luke came into the kitchen, grubby from hard work. He looked startled to see Maddie. Before he could say anything she spoke quietly.
“Luke, I can’t right now. I’ll see you at the station, OK?” She rushed past him and the screen door banged shut behind her. Luke’s lower jaw jutted out as he looked at his feet.
My beautiful baby. Lily faced her son for the first time since last night. “Would you like some lunch? I’m working on sandwiches.” She advanced toward him, laid a loving hand on his arm and added, “It’ll be OK. We’ll all be OK.” Overwhelmed, Luke let her fold him into her arms.
HelenaHandbasket666 |
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, Aug 29 2008, 4:12 PM EDT
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| HelenaHandbasket666 | chapter 6 is up for Truth or Dare | 11 | Aug 28 2008, 9:15 PM EDT by HelenaHandbasket666 | |
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Thread started: Aug 26 2008, 5:54 PM EDT
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I hope it's clear I wrote this for Martha, not Noelle <eyeroll>
Lordy, I miss that woman. |
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