Title: Tales My Father Never Told Me Chapter: 5 Rating: PG 13 Summary: Noah gets answers from his Aunt Ruth Characters: Noah, Luke, Aunt Ruth Genre: Drama Warnings: Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Noah walked up to Ruth's door. He stopped just outside and stared at the door. Luke stood behind him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Noah turned and looked at Luke. "I know we talked about this, but what if she tells me more bad news. I just don't think I can take it right now."

Luke looked into Noah's eyes. "I know you Noah, you have had all these scenarios running around in your head. I'm sure the things that you have come up with are much worse than anything that your aunt could tell you. You already know a lot of bad things already, maybe your Aunt Ruth can give you some good things to help balance those bad things out."

Noah swallowed hard. "What if there aren't any good things?"

Before Luke could answer Ruth opened the door. "There are lots of good things about Charlene."

Noah turned and looked at his aunt. "Hello."

Ruth smiled and motioned at the boys. "Hello Noah. I'm glad you called. Come on in."

Noah grabbed Luke's hand for support and walked into Ruth's room. They sat on the small sofa. Ruth walked over to them. "Can I get you something to drink? Water or soda?"

Noah shook his head. He really just wanted to get this over with. "No thank you. What can you tell me about my parents?"

Ruth sat in a chair near the boys. "Well, I don't know what you know."

Noah shrugged. "I don't know much about my mother. I was told that she died when I was 3 and then all of a sudden I find out that she was going by the name of Cheri Love and was a madame and was killed by my father."

Ruth let out a sigh. "Not a pretty picture is it?"

Noah shook his head. "No it's not. I read the letters that you sent me. She sounded so sweet and nice. How could she become a a..."

Ruth helped Noah out. "A prostitute?"

Noah nodded. Ruth tried to explain the course of events. "Charlene was so innocent when she met your father. It was just the two of us and we had never been anywhere. Winston was a handsome soldier and he turned her head. She truly loved him. When she found out she was pregnant it was the happiest day of her life, but then Winston got sent off to Iraq, you were just a baby, that is when everything changed."

Noah frowned at Ruth. "Changed? How?"

Ruth let out a sigh. "Winston was gone for two years. I don't know everything that happened to him. From what Charlene said, he never wanted to talk about it. Winston always liked order. It was the soldier in him, but when he came back it was to an extreme. Things had to be just right or he would make Charlene do them again. It was like she was in the army too. Everything needed to be orderly."

Luke squeezed Noah's arm. He remembered when Noah had told him how his father demanded that everything was done a certain way. He looked at Ruth. "That must have been difficult."

Ruth nodded. "When you have a toddler. Especially a curious boy, like you were Noah, it's not easy to keep things orderly. You were quite the handful, but Charlene tried to do the best she could, and when she didn't..."

Tears started to fill Ruth's eyes. Noah looked at her, not wanting to know what she was going to say, but knowing that he had to know. "What did he do? He didn't hit her did he?"

Ruth nodded. "I'm afraid that he did. I came over once and she had a black eye. I insisted that she call the police. Winston made me regret it. He showed up at my door and threatened me. After he left I called Charlene, but she didn't answer."

Luke's heart was starting to beat faster. "What did he do?"

Ruth walked over and poured herself a glass of water. She continued to face away from the boys as she talked. "He threatened to take you away, Noah, and with all his military contacts she would never see you again. Charlene knew that he wasn't bluffing. You were the bright spot in her life. The reason she was able to make it through each day. She couldn't lose you, so she dropped the charges."

Noah looked down and Luke rubbed his back. "That's horrible. Couldn't she have gone to the police for protection."

Ruth turned and looked at the boys. "We lived in a small town. Many of the policemen were retired from the army. They wouldn't have helped."

Luke nodded, as he understood. "So what did she do?"

Ruth walked back over and sat down. "She did the only thing she thought she could do. She stayed and prayed that things would get better."

Noah looked hopefully at Ruth although growing up with his father he didn't expect anything positive. "Did they?"

Ruth sadly shook her head. "No. The beatings got worse, but then Winston was sent away to work on some special mission. Charlene was so happy. He was suppose to be gone for 3 months."

Noah frowned at Ruth. "Why didn't she leave then?"

Ruth nodded, because she felt the same way. "Don't you think I tried to get her to, but Winston had her so scared. She thought that he had people watching her every move. She didn't think that she would dare do anything, for fear of what he would do if he ever found her."

Noah nodded. He knew how his father controlled him, even when he wasn't around, so he could imagine the fear that his mother felt. "So what happened that he threw her out?"

Ruth put her glass on the table. "Charlene met a man while Winston was gone. He knew how Winston was, and he always had a sweet spot for Charlene. At first she avoided him, but he was persistent and slowly broke through her defenses. She knew that it was wrong, but he filled her head with stories of them running away together and for once she started to dream again, so in a moment of weakness she slept with him. Your father came back from his mission sooner than expected and caught them. I don't know if it was just bad luck on Charlene's part or if his friends had told him what had been going on. He almost beat the man to death, but what he did to your mother was much worse."

Noah leaned in towards Ruth and for the first time took her hand to help her tell the story. "What did he do?"

Ruth bit her lip as she continued the story. "He gave her 5 minutes to collect what she could and then he threw her out. He told her never to come back and to never see you again, because she was dead to him and that was the last time that she saw you. She never even got a chance to kiss you good bye. You were asleep in your room and he wouldn't let her near you."

A tear ran down Noah's face. "So that is why she turned to prostitution?"

Ruth shook her head. "Not right away. She tried for a long time to figure out how to get you back, but every way was blocked. She wrote you all those letters, but Winston sent them back. He was constantly putting in for transfers and it was hard for her to keep up with you. So she thought if she could make enough money that would help. That's when she lost the little innocence she had left. She fell in with the wrong people. People who made promises, that they never kept. She learned that the only one she could depend on was herself and she became vengeful. Vowing to never let anyone take advantage of her again. That last letter she wrote, was the last time I saw the Charlene Wilson that I knew."

Noah bit his lip and closed his eyes. He leaned back on the sofa and ran his hands over his face, letting out a sigh and trying to take it all in. "So that's just another life that my father ruined."

Ruth didn't know what to say. "He took away the only good thing she had in her life and she had no way to get it back."

Noah got up and walked towards the door. "I knew that no good would come from coming here."

Luke got up and grabbed Noah's arm. "Noah. Your mom loved you. She just had no way of getting to you."

Noah turned and snatched his arm away from Luke. "If she loved me, she would have found a way."

Ruth walked up to Noah. She had a box in her hand. "Noah, the person that Winston killed was not your mother. Winston didn't lie. You mother did die when you were young, trying to get back to you. Charlene, or Cheri Love the person that she became, never stopped thinking about you and I can prove it to you."

Noah turned around. "What's this?"

Ruth handed him the box. "I received this from the police after I sent you the box. It was in Charlene's personal affects."

Noah opened the box. He slowly removed the contents: a wedding ring, a lock of hair and a picture. "This is me and my mother?"

Ruth nodded. "Yes. That is the person that you should remember. That is what was left of your mother. Not the person that died last year."

Luke looked around Noah at the picture. "She looked so happy."

Ruth continued. "Cheri Love probably wouldn't know how to love you, because she had spent so much time only thinking of herself, but she kept this to remember who she use to be. A happy woman, married to the man she loved, with a beautiful baby boy. It was probably only a distant memory to her. That's why she never contacted you when you came to Oakdale. That person no longer existed."

Noah looked at Luke. "This is the person that wrote those letters."

Ruth confirmed what Noah was saying. "Yes it is. That picture was taken during one of the happiest times in her life. She started writing the letters shortly after Winston had kicked her out, before she had reached the point of no return.

Noah touched the picture and smiled. "...but maybe somehow I could have brought this person back out, if I just had the chance."

Ruth shook her head. "Don't do that to yourself Noah. Cheri Love was cold. I met with her once a few years ago. She acted like she didn't even know me. The life that she had was the life that she wanted. She didn't need anyone. She was full of so much hate."

Noah continued to look at the picture. "That's because of what my father did to her, but if I gave it back."

Ruth put her hand on Noah's arm. "She wouldn't know what to do with it. She would have used you, like she used everyone else she came in contact with. Please Noah. Don't think that you could have changed anything."

Noah hugged Ruth. "If you say so. Thank you Ruth."

Ruth smiled at Noah. She walked over and got her purse. She reached into it and pulled out one more picture. "I know that I gave you a lot to process and I know that you had your own experiences with your father. I don't expect to wipe any of those away, but I want you to know one more thing, your father was a good man when your mother fell in love with him. The army changed him. This might be hard for you to take in right now with everything you know, but I want you to have this."

Noah took the picture from her. It was of his father, his mother and a baby, in a hospital bed. Noah stared at the picture. "I can't believe they were ever like this."

Ruth smiled down at the picture. "I know. It was a life time ago, but they were. Who knows maybe if there is a heaven. Somehow the wrongs that were done here on earth got corrected and those people are together again."

Noah shook his head. "No they aren't. I might not see my mother the same, but you can't change the fact that my father killed her."
////////////////////////////////////////////////
Coming Soon: Taking It All In
Chapter 6