Title: Taking It All In Chapter: 6 Rating: PG 13 Summary: Noah accepts Ruth as family. Characters: Noah, Luke, Lily, Aunt Ruth, Emma, Holden Genre: Drama Warnings: Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Luke and Noah walked into their room. Luke closed the door behind them. "Your Aunt Ruth was really nice."

Noah sat on the bed. "Yeah, she was. I'm glad I went. Thanks for talking me into it."

Luke sat down next to Noah on the bed. "I'm glad that you feel it helped."

Noah turned to Luke. "I never thought that I could have any normal family. She's a single mom, but she has stayed in the same town for 17 years and is a school teacher. With my mom and dad, I just didn't think it was possible."

Luke smiled. "I know how much you wanted to have a family. A sense of belonging."

Noah put his hand to Luke's face. "You give me a sense of belonging. I'm not going to try and fool myself though. As long as they haven't found my father's body, I probably will continue somewhere in the back of my mind, fear that he will come back, but at least I know that the man that Ameera knew did exist. That's who my mother married. The man who liked to cook and was always there to help?"

Luke nodded. "Yeah. It never really made sense before."

Noah shook his head. "No it didn't. Where ever my father was transferred to after he left Ameera's family must have been horrible."

Luke rubbed Noah's back. "You're probably right. Winston might have been lucky to come back at all."

Noah got up. "I never thought that I could feel sorry for my father."

Luke watched Noah as he began to pace the room. "I don't know about that. No matter what happened to him over there, I don't think that gave him the right to decide who lives and who dies."

Noah stopped and looked at Luke. "That's probably how he survived. Living on pure survival instincts. I'm not saying I agree with anything he did, but to preserve himself he had to do terrible things in order to survive. and when he got back that was all he had left. In order to preserve what he knew, it was kill or be killed."

Luke got up and walked up to Noah. He put he hand on his shoulder. "You're scaring me Noah."

Noah smiled at Luke. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just trying to think through everything and make it so that it makes some kind of sense. If I can understand why my dad was the way he was I can finally move on."

Luke understood. Noah had always wanted acceptance from his father, and when he told him that he was gay, he thought that he would never get it. "Okay, but I don't see how it could ever make sense."

Noah continued to process everything. "When things didn't fit into his way of thinking. it was easier to eliminate it. My mother, you...and me."

Luke put his hand on Noah's face. "Thank God he didn't try and kill you."

Noah thought. With everything that his father did to him, he never had the feeling that his life was in danger, and he knew why. "He couldn't. I was part of him. He had spent his life trying to make me into the man he thought that I should be. When it turned out that I wasn't, he still couldn't kill me. Instead he pushed me out of his life."

Noah spent the rest of the evening going through his own personal cleansing. Once he finally settled down he and Luke laid on the bed. Luke laid on his back and Noah curled up next to him his head on Luke's shoulder and his leg thrown over Luke's. Luke gently stroked his hair. "How do you feel?"

Noah ran his hand over Luke's chest. "Exhausted, but really good."

Luke smiled. "That's good."

Noah lifted up and looked at Luke. His voice was full of excitement. "No it's better than good. It's like...like...after an all night sex session.

Luke frowned up at Noah. "What?"

Noah continued. "You know. Everything has been spent from you and you feel so good in every part of your body. There's a peace. A moment that even though you can't move, you still feel like you could take on the world. "

Luke laughed. "Wow. That's saying a lot."

Noah kissed Luke gently. "...and I have you to thank for it."

Luke shook his head. "You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad that you are finally at peace with everything."

Noah jumped up and straddled Luke. "You talked me into going to see my Aunt Ruth, and it's because of that, that's why I feel so good. I want you to feel the same way."

Luke smiled up at Noah. "You do? How do you propose for that to happen? I'm not carrying any heavy burden that needs to be lifted off of me. Except maybe you right now."

Noah nodded. A big grin on his face. "Well, you can't get the same feeling, but you can get the next best thing."

Noah leaned down and kissed Luke as he began to massage him through his sweats. Luke closed his eyes. "I'm feeling better already."
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Luke had told his parents about Noah's Aunt Ruth and they had invited her over for dinner. Lily wiped her hand and grabbed both of Ruth's and smiled at her, as she led her into the kitchen. "I'm so glad to meet a member of Noah's family."

Ruth shook her head. "No. I'm the one that is glad to meet you. Noah has told me all about you. I'm so grateful that you were here for him. I wish that I could have been."

Emma walked up. "Noah is a joy. He is a welcome addition to the family."

Ruth got sad for a minute. "Well, there were some problems because of his father. I just wish I could have protected Noah from him, but there was nothing that I could do."

Lily offered Ruth a drink. "We weren't able to protect our family from him either. I'm just glad things weren't worse."

Ruth nodded. "Yes, we all survived Winston Mayer. Can I help set the table?"

Emma handed Lily the plates and Lily gave some to Ruth. "I'll help you. So Ruth, does Noah have any other family on his mother's side. Are you married?"

Ruth shook her head. "My sister and I only had each other. Our parents died when we were in high school. We stayed with our grandmother after that. I was married, but my husband died in Iraq. I do have a lovely daughter, Amy. She's a senior in high school."

Lily finished putting down her plates. "I'm sorry. Why didn't you bring her with you?"

Ruth put down her last plate and stood and crossed her arms. "You know how teenagers are, it was difficult for her growing up without a father. She has become kind of rebellious lately, but I'm sure it's a phase. I have kept her sheltered from all her aunt's life, so I couldn't really bring her along. I also wasn't sure how Noah was going to react, at first it wasn't very good."

Lily was surprised. "Really?"

Ruth nodded. "Yeah. Noah didn't want any part of me, but Luke was able to change his mind. That's one great kid that you have."

Lily smiled. "I know."

Luke and Noah came in with Holden bringing up the rear. "Okay. You can stop talking about us now."

Lily turned and looked at the boys. "Who says we were talking about you?"

Noah smiled. "Weren't you?"

Ruth chuckled. "Yeah we were."

Luke turned and faced his father. "We told you."

Holden frowned at Lily. "Thanks Lily. I was going to get a week of mucking out the stables if you were exchanging recipes or something."

Lily walked over to her husband and patted him on the back as she went to help Emma bring the food to the table. "Don't blame me. Dinner's ready. Go wash your hands and get the girls."
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Coming Soon: Looking to The Future
Chapter 7