Part 1 Rating: PG 13 Summary: Luke has just found out that his father has been charged with Dusty's murder and his mother is depressed and of no help. He turns to Noah for support. Characters: Luke and Noah Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Noah and Luke walked into the kitchen at the Snyder Farm. They had just gotten home from his father's arraignment. "I just don't understand. Why would they think my father killed Dusty. Dusty had plenty of people that didn't like him."

Noah walked up behind Luke. "They found the needle in your father's pocket."

Luke turned and looked at Noah. "That doesn't mean anything. Maybe someone else put it there. I know my father and he wouldn't do anything like that. It's not like him."

Noah put his arms around Luke's waist. "I know. It's just that your father isn't trying to do anything to defend himself. Why won't he talk to Bonnie. She said that he's not helping his defense."

Luke shook his head. "I don't know. It's like he's trying to protect someone, but who?"

Noah shrugged. "Maybe your mom?"

Luke looked up at Noah and shook his head. "You saw my mom. Besides, when Dad called me, he said that she was out of it. She was in no condition to do anything."

Noah sighed. "It just doesn't make any sense."

Luke leaned on Noah's chest. "My life is such a mess. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you."

Noah rubbed Luke's back. "You never have to worry."

Luke lifted his head and looked at Noah. "I love you Noah."

Noah smiled. "You know how I feel."

Luke began to kiss Noah. He kissed him deeply. Noah was shocked by the intensity of the kiss, but accepted it. Luke slid his hands down Noah's back and began to move his hands under Noah's shirt. Noah grabbed Luke by the arms and pushed him away. "Luke what are you doing?"

Luke looked into Noah's eyes. "Noah I want you to make love to me."

Noah stepped back and put up his hands. "No Luke."

Luke stepped closer. "Noah, I know that you can't say that you love me, but I know how you feel."

Noah nodded. "Your the most important thing in my life."

Luke put his hands on Noah's waist. "I need you. I need to feel close to you."

Noah shook his head. "This isn't right. Your hurting."

Luke nodded. "I am hurting and I want the hurt to go away and you can do that. Please Noah."

Noah turned away from Luke. "Luke that's not what you need right now. It's not how I want our first time together to be."

Luke walked up behind Noah. He reached his hands around him and began to caress his chest. "There's never a perfect time. With everything going so wrong. I just don't want to wait. There's no way of knowing what tomorrow will hold and I don't want to miss out."

Noah closed his eyes. He did want to be with Luke, but he had to be strong. He turned and faced Luke. "Luke. You might feel wonderful while we make love, but tomorrow, when the sun comes up, you will regret it. You will feel empty and realize that nothing has changed. I want you to remember our first time together as a wonderful time that was special just between the two of us. Not as a time to block out the rest of the world."

Luke stepped back from Noah. "You don't love me. If you did, you wouldn't let me suffer."

Noah stepped closer to Luke and tried to hold him. "Luke."

Luke put up his hands. "Don't touch me. I'll get through this without you."

Noah watched as Luke walked over to the door and went to his room.
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Noah came up to Luke's door. "Luke don't be this way."

Luke yelled through the door. "Just go away."

Noah stood defiantly at the door. "I'm not going anywhere."

Luke opened the door. "Why bother staying here. You obviously don't want to be with me."

Noah stepped into Luke's room. "Luke I want the exact opposite of that. I want nothing more than to take you in my arms and make all the bad things go away."

Luke looked at Noah tears in his eyes. "Then why don't you do it? I need you Noah."

Noah put his hands on Luke's waist. "I know that now it seems like that is what you need, but it isn't. You want comfort, but making love to you won't give it to you. I'm here for support. Lean on me all that you need to."

Luke turned away. "You don't understand."

Noah walked up behind Luke. "I understand more than you know. When I was at my lowest point, all I wanted was someone to be with. That's why I was going to sleep with Maddie. Maddie turned me down, because she knew that wasn't what I needed and that isn't what you need now."

Luke shook his head. "That's different. You didn't love Maddie."

Noah stepped closer to Luke and put a hand on his shoulder. "No it's not. It's also like when you were drinking to make the hurt go away. When you didn't know how to tell your parents you where gay. After you sobered up, how did you feel?"

Luke turned and looked at Noah. "Terrible. I hurt people. I was sick to my stomach and nothing had changed. This isn't like that either."

Noah nodded. "Yes it is. Nothing is going to change if we make love. You might not be sick to your stomach. at least I hope you won't have that reaction, but you will feel terrible. You have to face the situation. Not try and hide. Your father and mother need you."

Luke began to understand. "I guess you're right, but I do want to be with you."

Noah pulled Luke into a hug. "When the time is right."
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Part 2