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Talk About Luke and Noah

Emilee101 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:47:50 CDT

Use the comments section below to chat
and discuss with fellow Nuke fans about
the hottest couple in Oakdale! Vote in
polls and play the weekly caption game!
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about all the other goings on in Oakdale!

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! N U K E C H A T !

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Use EasyEdit to add a caption you think best describes the picture.

Please remember to add your screen name by the caption you add.

Remember to Spellcheck. Keep your caption length on the short side.

Once we have ten captions, they will be put into a poll and voted on.

Lily: "I know Patrick Swayze said, 'This is my dance space and that is yours,' but Luke, honey, if you want to slow dance with Noah you got to get closer than this." by Juliadw
Lily: "I came down to the police station as soon as the police called me. So it's true? Reid is dead?" Luke: "Yes. I killed him." Lily: "Do you need to me to post bail?" Luke: "I thought they were arresting me, too. But Margo said that the mayor is going to give me an award." Lily: "Oh, Luke. I'm so proud of you. You really are a Walsh/Snyder/Grimaldi." Luke: "Aw, thanks, Mom." by strawberry23
Noelle: "You look sad. Is it the fact that we got cancelled?" Van: "No." Noelle: "The depressing storylines?" Van: "No, my chia pet died this morning." by acousticgurl4
Lily: "See... You're never too old to dance with your mom." Luke: "Yeah but I just have one question.... Who Leads? Every time Noah and I dance I end up taking the girls part!!!!" By Nukefan4life
Van: "God, Noelle! I can feel your ribs! Try eating a cheeseburger sometime!" by vajakefan
Noelle: "But Van, what about all your young fan-girls?" Van: "What can I say? I'm into cougars." By Emilee101
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What NOT Too See After Having Surgery TOO See!

loveislove...right — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:05:37 CDT

Title: What NOT Too See After Having Surgery TOO See!
Chapter: 1/1
Rating: Not sure
Summary: The title says it all
Characters: Noah, Faith, Man, Alison, Dr. Reid, Luke!
Genre:
Warnings: Includes spoilers, and also has a Luke/Reid thing! DO NOT READ if you don't like Luke/Reid being an item
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

A complete success! The surgery that I had to restore my sight was a complete success, My vision is now back and I am back in Oakdale to win back my Luke. Now that my eyesight is back, we can pick up where things left off. Never in my life, have I been as excited as I am right now. Finally after so many months, we can start to be happy again.

" Well, if it isn't Noah Mayer! A familiar voice said behind me.

" Oh, my God!" I said as, for the first time, I turned to the voice and could actually see who called me. "Faith! When did you get back from boarding school?"

" When my dad was accused of killing Damian." Faith says as she hugs me.

" And now, here is a better question....why aren't you BACK in boarding school?" I asks as I pulled her out of the hug.

" Long and complicated story. So......your surgery worked out, I see!" Faith says clearly changing the subject.

" Yes.....thank GOD. Now, I can get my life back together with Luke." I said as my smile formed on my face.

" Yeah....um.....Noah, about that....." Faith started to say, but I was so excited, that I cut her off.

" I can't WAIT to see him again. Did you hear what I just said? I said SEE him. And, talking about seeing someone, you're a lot bigger since the last time I saw you."

" Well, it has been a few months since the last time you seen me. Faith says.

" And now that I am back to my old self, you will be seeing a lot more of me." I said as I kissed her on the forehead.

" Yeah....Noah, I...."

" Look I'll catch up with you after I talk to Luke. We have some catching up to do." I said as I looked at Faith and smiled.

" But......I can't do this. I just hope that.....that....I'm just truly sorry Noah." Faith says before she turns around and left.

I did not know why she was acting like that, but I made myself a promise that I would find out sooner than later. I also told myself that I would listen to that long and complicated story that she was talking about, but for now...the only thing that was on my mind was finding Luke and to wrap him in my arms and this time, I wouldn't let go.

I went on the search to find Luke and to my surprise he was not in any of our normal hang out spots that we would go to. I was just about to give up hope in finding him, but one last place came to mind before giving up hope...Grimaldi Shipping.

I walked though the halls, getting funny looks all the time that I walked down them. I finally reached Luke's office. Without even knocking, I opened the door to let myself in. I'm sure that Luke would be mad at me for that, but no one was in that room.

" What are you doing in here?" someone calls from behind me.

" I'm looking for my boy.....well, in no time he will be my boyfriend again." I said as I turned to face the man.

" You don't mean Luke, huh?" the man asked almost ignoring my statement.

" Yeah, that's who I mean. Where is he?" I asked as my smile that has been glued to my face got bigger.

" If you want to talk with Luke, than I suggest that you go to the hospital. That is where he has been spending all of his extra time."

" The hospital! Why the hospital? Who is in the hospital?" I asked in a panic.

" No one....you just need to go and talk with him there." the man says as he opens the door for me.

I walked out the door, and walked back down the halls. Soon, I was outside and back in my truck that I haven't been able to drive in months. Quickly I left the parking lot and drove directly to the hospital.

" Noah? What are you doing here?" Alison asked in a panic.

" Hey! It's my roommate. How are you?" I asked as I gave her a hug.

" I'm good....what are you doing here?" Alison asked again in the same panic voice.

" Why are you such in a panic?" I asked making a face.

" Oh,,,no reason." Alison says as she starts to twirl with her hair.

" Well.....I was told that Luke would be here. Would you happen to know where he could be?" I asked.

" Yeah, I do." Alison says as she turns her back on me.

" Can you tell me where, then?" I asked as I grabbed her and made me face me.

" Um.....yeah....he's.....um....over there." Alison says as she pointed towards the new wing of the hospital. " Just....prepare yourself."

Then Alison went back to work.

I walk towards the new wing, not sure on what Alison meant by her last statement. Unfortunately, I learned what she meant soon. I learned why the man at Grimaldi shipping told me that Luke likes to spend most of his free time at the hospital. I learned why Faith was acting strange. For right there in front of my new eyes stood Luke....KISSING Dr. Reid.

" Uh.." I gasped louder than what I thought I did.

" Noah!" Luke shouts as he turned to me.

" What the hell is going on here?" I asked as I looked from Dr. Reid to Luke.

" You're not blind any more, Mr. Mayer. What does it look like to you?" Dr. Reid says looking at me.

" You're cheating on me with my doctor?" I asked almost screaming.

" No, I'm not. In order for me to be cheating on you, we would have needed to be going out in the first place, but you broke up with me before your surgery." Luke explains to me.

" But...." I started to say, but was cut off.

" You thought that I would just wait for you to come back and beg your way back to me. I'm sorry, Noah, but this time, I just couldn't allow myself to do that. I do love you, but...as hard as it may have been....I moved on from you." Luke says as he looks me in the eye.

" Yep, and you loss....is my gain." Dr. Reid says as he wraps his arms around Luke.

" No!" I said in shock.

" I hope that you can do the same thing too, and soon." Luke says as he puts his head on Oliver's shoulder.

Not being able to look at that picture any more, I ran out the room. I ran down the hall to I reached the end. I fell down to my knees and started to sob uncontrollably.

What did I do? Why couldn't I see that Luke was the best thing that happened to me? I didn't need to see that I needed Luke in my life.

" It's hard and it hurts, but it will get better." Alison says as she kneels down next to me.

Not being able to control myself, I fell in her arms and cried in her arms.

" Everything will be okay.: Alison says as she brushes my hair with her hands.

" How do you know?" I asks trying to control my sobs.

" I just know." Alison replied.

" This just hurts so much! He has moved on without me!" I said uncontrollably.

" I know. I know. But it will get easier." Alison says as she holds me close.

I just sat there in Alison's arms crying, hoping that she was right, but knowing that she wasn't!

Aftermath

acousticgurl4 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:07:01 CDT

Title: Aftermath
Chapter: 1/1
Rating: G
Summary: What was Luke thinking after they broke up?
Characters: Luke, Noah
Genre: Angst, Romance
Warnings: Just watch what's been going on.
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Tears stung his eyes; they threatened to fall.

How could this be happening to him?

This was just a bad dream, something he would wake up from.

He watched the only man he would ever love walk away from him.

His lips still tingled from the kiss.

He pinched himself, but nothing changed.

He was still outside on a beautiful day feeling empty inside.

He felt inconsolable, like his whole world had come apart.

He used to feel invincible, but that was a long time ago.

They had been struggling for so long.

Whose fault was it? No one’s.

Whose choice was it to end it all? Was it really a choice?

What would happen now? He had no idea.

Moving on? Seemed impossible.

Forgetting? Never.

Regrets? That was hard to say.

He felt like he should regret many things, but he couldn’t.

That would mean regretting being himself.

True, there had been some misjudgments on his part.

If he could somehow find a way to change what just happened, he would.

How do we survive heartbreak? I guess we have no choice.

Right now nothing could help him.

It felt like nothing would ever make this hurt go away.

Suddenly, he felt nothing. Numbness overtook him.

He felt like a prayer had been answered.

However, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t leave this spot.

Like moving would be moving on, accepting this.

Where should he go? What should he do?

Should he tell someone about this? No, he couldn’t do that.

Should he write it down? Maybe later.

His writing is what started all of this.

He felt invisible again, but for different reasons.

The world continued to turn. People went about their day.

He didn’t feel like part of the world.

He felt isolated, like he didn’t belong.

The tears continued to fall. He took a deep breath.

Enough. He wiped his eyes.

He had to pull himself together.

He had done the right thing.

The way everything had been going lately, he had no choice.

He had been put into a corner. He was trapped.

The agony of being together, not being together.

That’s no way to live.

With a little more confidence, he walked away from the pain.

Away from the spot where his heart had been broken.

And he breathed. And he went on.

acousticgurl4

acousticgurl4 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:03:23 CDT

Author: My name is Lauren. I have posted my stories on the Van Hansis fan board as woaklovers, but I decided to post them here because I don't know who reads what.

Biography: I found Nuke accidentally on youtube at the end of last summer, I think after the kiss happened. I have watched their story many times, and I love Nuke to death. I am 22 and live in New Jersey. This past May I earned my Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education and English. I also hope to become a published writer someday.
Stories:

Wrapped Up In Love

Crashing Down
An Unlikely Poet
Finally
Give and Take (a sequel to WUIL)

A Proposition

PULSE ~ L, M & N

september25 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:53:50 CDT

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

PULSE
Part- L

Written by •·.·´¯`·.·•september•·.·´¯`·.·•

“Leave me alone!” Luke yelled at the paramedic, who was trying to get Luke to come out of his car.

“Sir, you’re bleeding. I’d like to check your head.” the paramedic stated as he put on a pair of latex gloves.

Luke rose his hand and touched his forehead. He brought it away and saw crimson on his fingers. “So that’s why everything I see is blurred and tinged pink.” he said in a daze, the blood running into his eyes.

“Yes. Look, my partner has the gurney. I’ll help you onto it and strap you in so you don’t roll off, how does that sound?”

“Where am I?” Luke asked, confused, looking around. “What happened?”

“Come on.” the paramedic said, helping Luke to his feet and onto the gurney. Luke’s step was unsteady, which the paramedic filed away to write up once he checked Luke over. He and his partner rolled Luke to the ambulance and to the officer who was waiting to speak to Luke.

“Mr. Snyder? Can you tell me what happened?” the officer asked while one of the paramedics tended to the gash on Luke’s forehead.

“I was talking to Noah... I was yelling at him... and... and...” Luke muttered. “Don’t know...”

“Noah? Was he with you in the car? What’s his last name?” the officer asked before he told his partner to take a look around for another man that was possibly hurt.

“Noah... Noah... He’s gone. He’s with someone else now.” Luke began to cry.

“Someone picked him up?” the cop asked. “Who?”

“Uhhh, Morgan. He’s with Morgan.” Luke cried harder.

“Was Noah hurt? What kind of car was Morgan driving, can you tell me?”

“Car?” Luke winced when the paramedic cleaned his wound. “Don’t know what he drives.”

“It’s ok. What is Morgan’s first name?”

“M-Morgan...”

“Morgan is his first name sir?” the cop scribbled on his pad.

Luke nodded. “Find him and Noah- put them both in jail!” he said irrationally.

“Mr. Snyder, please try to remember and tell me what happened.”

The paramedic put a few butterfly bandages on Luke’s forehead. The laceration didn’t need stitches, but it was significant enough that if they didn’t bandage it, he’d have a scar. Next he shone a light into Luke’s eyes. As suspected, Luke had a minor concussion. He could see one pupil dilated more than the other. Luke was also showing other signs of a concussion, slurred speech and confusion.

“Don’t know!” Luke said irritably- another symptom of a concussion.

The officer turned when his partner, that had been looking for Noah, came back. “No sign of another man sir. In fact, by the looks of it, Mr. Snyder was driving alone when he hit the pole.”

“Alright, thanks.” the cop turned back to Luke, looking at him worriedly. “Will he be ok?” he asked the paramedics.

“Yes, he has a concussion, but just to be safe, we’re taking him to the hospital for a head scan. The steering wheel probably suffered more than his hard head- in my experience with these cases.”

“Yea,” the cop said looking at Luke’s car. “he couldn’t have been going too fast. He would have gone through the front window if he had stepped on the gas, seatbelt or not. That is, if he’d intended to commit suicide.”

“I don’t want to die.” Luke muttered, his eyes becoming heavy. He wanted to sleep now, but the paramedic shook him awake.

“I’ll talk to the guy that was driving behind you once more. You'll most likely be written up with negligent and inattentive driving. You’ll get the fine in the mail Mr. Snyder.” the cop said patting him on the arm. “Be careful.”

Luke gazed at the dark haired cop. He cocked his head to the left and saw.... “Noah?” he asked, trying to sit up. “Noah!” he yelled, fighting with the paramedics who tried to keep him still.

The cop looked around. “Where is this Noah?” he asked Luke.

“You...” Luke pointed. “Whatever I did, whatever I’m doing to you, I’m sorry! Just come back to me. Morgan doesn’t love you as much as I do! Please Noah?”

The cop shook his head. “Better get him to the hospital right away. He’s seeing things.” he said, turning away to go to his car.

“Noah!” Luke screeched, watching who he thought was Noah walk away from him. “Come back!” Luke watched helplessly as the paramedics lifted the gurney into the back of the ambulance. “Noah... I love you. Come back.” Luke’s head fell back. He shook his head back and forth muttering ‘Noah, Noah, Noah’.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Noah tried to concentrate, but he couldn’t. Luke hadn’t called back which meant that either he didn’t get the message or he decided that he didn’t want to be with Noah anymore- according to how Noah perceived things. I’m leaving- I have to see him. I don’t care if he’s with clients and their pets. I have to talk to him! I can’t concentrate on work until I do!

Noah rose out of his chair and stretched. A loud knock on his door stopped him from leaving his office. “Come in.” he said discouraged.

Nate poked his head in. “Got a minute or two?”

“Yea, come in.” Noah said and took his seat again.

Nate walked in, brushing his black hair to the side, his blue eyes locked on Noah’s. He took the seat facing Noah. “I’m going to break up with Jenny.” he stated. Jenny was a waitress at Denny's. Nate had asked for her phone number and they'd been dating ever since.

Noah’s eyes widened. “Why?”

Nate shrugged. “She... she wants-”

“Yea?” Noah asked in a rushed way. He just wanted to get to Luke to clear their mess up.

“She wants to-”

“What?!” Noah asked, getting frustrated, then he saw the shocked look on Nate’s face and apologized. “Sorry, there’s something I have to do soon.”

“Fine.” Nate said pushing himself up, off the chair. “I thought you’d be someone I could confide in, but you’re too busy with work.”

“That’s not it at all. YOU come before work, but not before Luke.” Noah laced his fingers, resting his arms on the desk.

Nate slowly lowered himself into the chair and leaned forward. “D'amn, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had another falling out.”

“Well, I want to make up with him, so whatever you have to confide, can we make it quick?”

“I suppose.” Nate wiggled uncomfortably and looked down, unable to meet Noah’s eyes. “She wants to- to watch me.”

Noah frowned deeply, trying to decipher what ‘watch’ meant. Watch him do what?

Nate looked up after a brief moment of silence. He saw that Noah was lost with wonder. He took a deep breath and let it out. “She wants to watch me with a guy. She said it turns her on to see Dakota and Tucker or you and Luke kissing and now she wants more, to take it to the next level. She wants to watch me f'uck someone.”

Noah’s expression turned from a puzzled look to one of astonishment. “What the h'ell!”

“I know! F'ucking is very personal and private. I told her I wouldn’t do it. Gay men are not circus attractions. Why is it chicks wanna watch us do it?”

“That’s the only reason you’re going to break up with her?” Noah asked, finding this conversation interesting now. The idea of going to see Luke was pushed aside. He wanted to hear more.

“Well, that and the sex. It’s great and everything, but sometimes I miss being... er, penetrated. What’s a guy to do?”

“Can’t she get you off with a dildo?” Noah chuckled.

“Dude! That so isn’t even like a the real thing. Anyway, she wouldn’t know how to angle it so it hits just right. She wouldn’t know how fast or slow to go... no, only a guy knows or eventually learns cause he’s got the same parts as all us other guys. Come on Noah...” Nate shook his head. “I’m just never gonna find someone like you and Dakota have.”

“Sure you will.” Noah smiled, but Nate didn’t smile back.

“Face it. I’m just good for a good time at ‘Pulse’. I should become a fixture on the wall there, get picked up, f'uck, clean up, go downstairs and do it all over again.”

“No, don’t do that.” Noah sighed. “I wish Luke had another gay friend, but they’re all straight. Sorry.”

“I’m not asking you to hook me up with someone. I know where to go for that.” Nate said, standing up. “I guess I’ll figure something out. Sorry for bugging you.”

“Nate, you’re my friend. You aren’t bugging me. You can talk to me anytime. Ok?” Noah stood up.

“Alright. See ya.” Nate smiled sadly and left. He had to figure out what to do. He walked back to his blackjack table. His break was over and he had to have the manager check his table and sleeves. Once he was back in business and dealing, he thought about what Noah said regarding the dildo. Would Jenny know how to use one on a man? Probably not and he wasn’t comfortable in their relationship to ask her to do that. They’d been seeing each other sporadically. She worked the night shift and he usually worked days, although she had tried talking him into working nights. He explained that he didn’t like working nights, he liked to sleep when it was dark, not daylight.

A female’s seductive voice broke his concentration, “Deal me in, stud.”

Nate looked at the red fingernails that gracefully pushed a few chips his way. His gaze raised, recognizing the voice. He smiled and said, “Hi Jenny. How are you?”

Jenny leaned over the table and said, “Great. I want to introduce you to someone.” she looked over her shoulder and nodded to an older man.

“Come on already, ya gonna deal or what?” A woman wearing gaudy jewelry asked.

“Yes ma’am.” Nate said, looking away from Jenny and the man approaching the table. He wondered if she’d dumped him for this guy before he could dump her. His hands flew over the cards as he showed his hand. He gave another card to the woman wearing the gaudy jewelry and who smelled like stale cigarettes and cheap cologne.

“Twenty-four. Sorry ma’am.” Nate announced, collecting chips and cards. He looked up and motioned to his manager, Mack.

When Mack was at Nate’s table, Nate asked, “I need to use the bathroom. Could you-”

“Yea, go.” Mack said, watching Nate leave. He got behind the table, clapped his hands and showed the players his sleeves- a requirement in this establishment.

Nate walked swiftly to the back of the casino. Jenny and her ‘friend’ were right behind him. He suddenly turned and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms defensively.

Jenny smiled at him and kissed him on the lips, leaving a glittery pink lipstick mark. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” she asked with a mock pout before wiping the lipstick from Noah's mouth with a napkin she'd retrieved from her purse.

“Of course, but you should be sleeping. Your shift ended only a short while ago.” Nate said, looking at her, then the man standing a few feet away. He was wearing a nice suit and a colorful tie.

“I have off tonight and I’ve been getting ready for tonight.” Jenny grinned, touching Nate’s face. She kissed him again and turned. “Nate,” she began to talk while holding her hand out to the man to bring him closer. “this is Rob, Rob, this is the guy I’ve been telling you about, my boyfriend Nate.”

Nate held his hand outstretched to shake Rob’s hand. He looked into the older man’s pale blue eyes and noticed a little grey in his dark brown hair. Was this a friend of Jenny’s and if so, wasn’t he a little old?

“Pleased to meet you Nate.” Rob said with a sexy drawl in his voice- smiling as he shook Nate’s hand firmly.

Nate grasped Rob’s hand and shook it vigorously. He didn’t know why, he just felt compelled to. He also didn’t want to let go. Rob’s eyes were speaking to his in volumes. Finally, they both heard Jenny giggle- she knew she’d done well.

“So, how about it Nate? Do you like Rob or what?” she asked expecting an answer right now. Nate could hear the excitement in her voice, then it dawned on him what this was. He took her arm, excused himself to Rob, and pulled Jenny into the men’s bathroom, luckily it was unoccupied.

“What is this?!” he asked in a very loud whisper, his voice echoing off the walls.

“You know... the thing we talked about. You and another guy... and me.” Jenny grinned and hugged Nate. “He’s hot, don’t you think? It’s taken me so long to find the right guy! He’s clean, attractive, single and he’s never done this before, but when I showed him your picture and he said yes!” Jenny jumped up and down.

“Look, Jenny-” Nate sighed, “I don’t do this either. I mean, I did it only one time, but I’ll never pick up a stranger and have sex like that again. Not only that, but for you to watch is kind of degrading. You’re my girlfriend and you want me to cheat while you cheer me on? Come on, that’s not good. You have to know that.”

“If we agree on it, then it’s fine- I don’t see the problem. We can set our own rules Nate.” she said, convincingly. “Please? Just this once.” Jenny ran a fingertip across his lips and with her other hand, she cupped his crotch.

Nate closed his eyes, thinking about the attractive older man in the hall. He did have nice features and he had the body of a younger man. “How old is he? Do you know?”

Jenny kissed Nate’s ear, licked it, nibbled on the lobe and whispered, late thirty’s.”

“Almost forty?!” Nate exclaimed. “Jesus! He’s probably only a little younger than my dad!”

“No he’s not- unless your parents had you in their early teens!” Jenny laughed.

“I don’t know Jenny.” Nate said, backing away, watching her slip the spaghetti strap of her sundresss off her shoulder, then the other one. “Look, we can’t... not here. Put your dress back on.”

“Please do this with him- for me? I’ll buy the champagne or beer. I’ll buy supper. I’ll-”

“Fine!” Nate said, cutting the air with his hands. He just wanted to get back to work and forget about this situation.

“Yay!” Jenny said, jumping up and down again. “I’m so happy!”

“Yea, you better go. I really do have to take a leak. Oh, tell ‘Robbie’ out there to bring the necessities.” Nate said, turning away from her.

“’Robbie’! You’re so funny Nate!” Jenny giggled as she left the bathroom.

Nate undid his pants at the urinal and heard the door open. Footsteps approached, then a belt buckle clinked and a zipper was undone.

“That’s a nice one.” Rob said to Nate.

“Huh?”

“Your tie. I like unusual ties. Is that your own or does the casino provide it?” Rob smiled.

“Oh, the casino. It’s actually part of the uniform.” Nate stated, staring straight ahead.

“It’s nice.” Rob commented again. “So, should we address the elephant in the room.”

“Yea...” Nate looked down, shook himself and did his pants and belt.

“You don’t sound too enthused about it. It wasn’t your idea, was it?”

“Nope.” Nate walked to the sink, Rob followed, zipping up.

“I could tell by the look in your eyes- you were surprised to meet me. So are you straight and this is her fantasy or what?” Rob asked, washing his hands.

“Yes and no. It’s her fantasy to watch and I’m not straight.”

“Ah, I see.” Rob nodded, understanding that he was bisexual. “Well, tell you what. I won’t show up tonight. You have nothing to be worried about. I can say I changed my mind.”

“You’d do that for me?” Nate asked with a grin.

“Sure, why not? I can tell you’re not interested in someone as old as your grandpa.” Rob smirked.

“I said as old as my dad!” Nate laughed. “And, taking a second look, you’re probably not as old as my dad anyway.”

“How old is your dad?” Rob asked.

“Forty-seven.”

“He’s got a quite a few years on me.” Rob smiled, showing his white teeth. “How old are you? Mid twenties?”

“Yea.” Nate nodded. “So... you’ve really never done anything like what Jenny proposed?”

“Someone watching me and another guy have sex? No way.” Rob shook his head, answering honestly.

“So what changed your mind?” he asked suspiciously. “Why now?”

“She showed me a picture of you and I thought, h'ell, he’s good looking and I’m single, why not?” Rob gazed at Nate- he looked better in person of course. His black hair was swept to the side with a few strands lying on his forehead and his piercing blue eyes were beautiful. His body was fit and he smelled wonderful.

“Where did she meet you? How did this topic come up?” Nate questioned.

“This morning at Denny’s. I was her customer. See, I had pulled an allnighter and came in around four in the morning. It wasn’t busy so she and I talked. She asked if I was single and when I said yes, she asked why. I told her there weren’t many men that interested me and her eyes went wide, I’m sure you’ve seen that look.” Rob smiled.

Nate returned the smile, adding a nod of agreement.

“So she says she knows someone she could hook me up with. She left and came back with her purse and that’s when she showed me a picture of you.” Rob replied.

“So I was the deciding factor here?” Nate asked. He was very surprised a man like Rob would decide to do something like this. He was under the impression that older men were more cautious.

“You sure were. Black and blue are my favorite colors and I knew I couldn’t go wrong.”

Nate tilted his head. Black and blue? Did rob think there would have been a beating or other kinky stuff if he went through with this?

Rob laughed, a deep, rich sound. “Black hair, blue eyes- not bruises.”

“OH!” Nate gasped and turned red from embarrassment, then he rose his eyebrows and pushed the hair off his forehead, which ended back there anyway.

Rob chuckled. “Well Nate, I wish you luck. Hope Jenny finds someone you’re interested in- that is if you ever go through with it.” he turned away, tossing the paper towels in the garbage as he neared the door.

“Wait.... uh, just a second.” Nate put his hand on the top of his own head. “Er, what do you do, for a living?”

Rob turned around and smiled. “I have my own real estate business.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Nate smiled shyly.

Rob lifted his arm, pushed up his sleeve and looked at his watch. “I suppose I should get home and go to bed- long night you know. It was nice to meet you.” he said, shaking the sleeve of his suit jacket down.

“Yea... hey, Rob?” Nate’s voice sounded so unsure and small to his own ears. “Why don’t you come over anyway. We could talk and stuff. We don’t have to- you know....”

Rob grinned and walked to Nate. He stood before him and said, “I’d like that. You sure though?”

“Yes.” Nate said, very sure now. “See you tonight.”

“That you will.” Rob said softly, reaching up and gently touching Nate’s cheek. Seeing that Nate closed his eyes, he assumed that Nate liked what he was doing and leaned in. He kissed him ever so tenderly on the lips before backing away.

“Bye Nate.” Rob said, walking backwards to the door.

“Bye.” Nate replied breathlessly.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

PULSE
Part- M

Written by •·.·´¯`·.·•september•·.·´¯`·.·•

Noah drove to the Veterinarian clinic where Luke worked. He knew Debra and walked to the counter. A big dog held back by a leash barked at him. He jumped and held his chest, feeling his heart pounding out of control.

“Hi Noah.” Debra looked up from her computer.

“Hi. Can I have a word with Luke if he’s not busy.” Noah asked politely.

“He’s not here. He went to the bank and to talk to you. He hasn’t come back.” Debra looked at the clock worriedly. Mr. Wilson was still waiting on one of the wooden benches near the window and not very patiently. “He said he’d be here before one, but he isn’t. It isn’t like him to be late. I’m thinking about calling in Dr. Wield to cover for him. That dog is waiting for it’s shots.” she whispered to Noah, pointing at the dog that barked at him when he came in.

“You should definitely call the other vet.” Noah bit his lip nervously while he though. “You’re right it isn’t like him not to show up. I have to find him.”

“Does it have to do with the fight you two had?” Debra asked, picking up the phone to call the other vet.

“You know?” Noah asked with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Was their love life on display or what?

“Not the specifics, he wouldn’t betray your trust, Noah.” Debra said, then spoke into the phone.

“Where’s Snyder?!” The old man got up, and hobbled to the receptionist. “I want my money for that b'itch! If’n he ain’t got it, I want her back!” He mumbled, talking to himself now, “Git rid of them d'amn pups myself.”

“Sir,” Debra covered the phone. “Please take a seat. He’s not here yet. Please be patient.

“Bull! He’s here! He wants to keep Sadie and not pay! I ain’t gonna stand for it!” he slammed his fist on the counter.

Noah watched the old man with a bewildered look on his face.

“What ya lookin’ at boy?” the old man rasped, glaring at Noah up and down.

“You’re talking about the vet, Luke Snyder. What do you want with him?” Noah asked curiously.

“He gone off and took my b'itch! That’s what. What’s it to you?”

“Your b'itch?” Noah asked.

“Yea b'itch! My dog Sadie’s pregnant. He’s supposed to pay me for her. I don’t want no d'amn pups so he says he’s gonna give me money for ‘em. Says he’d be here at 1pm and d'amn if he didn’t show!”

“I know Luke and he wouldn’t leave you hanging like this if something didn’t happen to him. He takes pride in his job and the animals he helps. He’s reliable. Maybe he’s running late.” Noah said, trying to calm the old man down. He glanced at Debra who rolled her eyes.

“I got things to do, I ain’t got all day to wait mister. Gonna call the sheriff, he has my b'itch!”

“Could you stop saying that?” Noah asked, seeing the face of the woman with the dog that barked at him. “Have some respect.”

“I got respect. Don’t tell me I ain’t! It’s that d'amn Snyder who ain’t got no respect. Lyin’ and stealin’ my dog!” the old man seethed.

Noah reached for his wallet. “How much?”

“Huh? What ya talkin’ ‘bout there?”

“How much was ‘Snyder’ going to pay you for the dog and her litter?” Noah asked.

The old man looked around and rubbed his stubbly chin. He came close to Noah and lied, “Six hun’red cash.”

When the old man’s breath hit Noah’s face, he almost gagged. “Six? Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t believe that.”

“Yep, six hun’red. I tell you- that was the deal.”

“Well, I haven’t got six hundred dollars. I have two hundred.” Noah stated putting his wallet away.

“Now wait just a minute there boy.” the old man said. Two hundred was better than nothing. “I’ll take the two hun’red and you tell Snyder I ain’t bringing my animals to him no more. No sir. He’s an odd one he is. Won’t give abortions to pregnant b'itches. Som’ting wrong with him, there is.” He held out his leathery hand.

Noah held the money in his hand and finally slapped it down on the palm of the old man’s hand. “There you go.” Noah said, staring at the swindler.

“Pleasure doin’ business with ya boy.” the old man hooted and wobbled out the door.

“Ugh!” Noah turned to Debra who was trying not to laugh at Noah’s expression. He looked a little green around the gills. “I’ll bet everything to my name that, that man has not seen a shower or a bathtub in years. God, his breath could light a match, h'ell a whole store that only sold matches! Whew weee!” Noah’s face wrinkled up and he waved a hand in front of his face.

Debra laughed and stood up. “I guess I’ll take you to your new dog.”

Noah followed her. She unlocked the back door and said, “Her name is Sadie. She’s about two years old and pregnant. We don’t know what kind of dog impregnated her. Mr. Wilson, that man you were talking to, said the neighbor’s dog did it and that it’s a mutt, but Mr. Snyder said he couldn’t be sure that some other dog didn’t do it. Here she is.” Debra bent down in front of the cage. Sadie stood up and wagged her tail as she sniffed the air. “You’re going to be a proud papa in about a month.” she smiled at Noah while she took a leash out of one of many drawers and clipped it to Sadie’s collar.

Noah crouched in front of his new dog and let her smell his hand. “Hi Sadie.” he said. Sadie licked his hand, then nudged it, wanting him to scratch her ears and her back. Noah laughed and gave her a good rubdown before he stood up.

Debra handed the leash to Noah. “She might have to go potty. You can take her to the grass on the side of the building.”

“Ok.” Noah said pulling the leash- Sadie followed Noah outside, did her business and sat in the front seat of Noah’s car. “Sadie, where do we look for Luke? His car isn’t at the apartment. He’s not with Tucker. Where would he go?” Noah asked nervously. “I guess I’ll go back to work until I hear from someone. Tucker will call me if he hears anything and maybe Luke will call once he hears my message- he’ll know what he saw wasn’t really what he thought he saw.” He reached out and patted Sadie again. “Guess you get to come to work with me.” he smiled at the dog.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“I want to go home.” Luke sighed at the Doctor who was examining him.

Dr. Adams replied with a smile. “Not until you have a head scan. I want to be sure your brain isn’t swollen and your skull isn’t fractured.” He looked into Luke’s eyes to check his pupils. “You do have a concussion. I’d rather you stay the night so I can keep an eye on you.”

“Uggh.” Luke rolled his eyes. “I hate hospitals.”

“I’d rather see you safe than worse off and home alone.” Dr. Adams countered. “You can never be sure in cases where there’s head trauma. The paramedics did a great job bandaging your cut.” he commented. “I doubt you’ll have a scar. Too bad about your car though. I heard it’s totaled.”

“It was a piece of crap to begin with and I wouldn’t be alone tonight, I don’t think. My boyfriend and I live together, but we broke up. He’s seeing his ex behind my back.” Luke looked down. “I wasn’t enough for him, or maybe I was too much. I got on his nerves a lot.”

“That sounds like his problem, not yours. You seem like a very nice person. Maybe he wasn’t ready to be tied down?” Dr. Adams suggested.

“Could be.” Luke shrugged. “All I know is that I caught them together in his office.” he sniffled.

Dr. Adams put a caring hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, the same thing happened to me a couple years ago. Your boyfriend wasn’t named Ronnie, was it?”

Luke shook his head and answered, “No, it's Noah.”

“Hm. Do you have a friend to stay with?”

“Yea. Tucker. OH! I should call him!” Luke sat up, but became dizzy and fell back.

“Take it easy. Rest now and get your scan. You can call him later, ok?” Dr. Adams said. “I could call your parents in the meantime.”

“They don’t live here. They’re in Illinois.”

“I’ll just let them know you were in a small accident and tell them you’re ok. They should know.”

“I guess you’re right. The number is... uh... I can’t think. I can’t remember!” Luke said, panicked.

“Relax Luke. It’s normal to forget when you’re anxious, stressed and have a head wound. Once you calm down you will remember, I promise.” Dr. Adams smiled warmly.

Luke sighed loudly now. “I suppose you’re right. It’s a little frightening though.”

“I understand.”

“Ready to go?” Two female nurses came in to take Luke to his scan.

“He’s ready.” Dr. Adams stated. “Luke, I’m going to have one of the nurses register you and you’ll have a room upstairs.”

“Will you still be my doctor?” Luke asked as the nurses rolled his bed out.

“Yes. I’ll read your x-rays once they’re taken and come up to talk to you about them. Don’t worry.”

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

After his scan, Luke was shown to a room divided by a curtain. His bed was the closest to the door. He looked up and saw the tv was turned to a sports channel showing golf- something that bored him to tears and sleep.

“Want me to change the channel or turn off the tv?” a male’s deep voice asked.

“No, that’s ok.” Luke replied, lacing his fingers together and setting them in his lap. “What are you here for?”

“I broke my leg when a d'amn car hit me on my lunch break today. I have to stay for a while until they determine I can leave. Sucks. I feel so unproductive here. I want to get back to work.” he said frustrated. “I’m trying to watch this crap on tv. Golf is supposed to be relaxing, but it isn’t helping me, that’s for sure.”

Luke chuckled. “I know. I thought you were some kind of stiff when I came in. Watching golf, who does that, really? Oh, I’m Luke Snyder.”

“Sean Shore.” the deep voice introduced itself. “My brother-in-law is big on golf. Every get together he has to have golf on tv. If golf isn’t on, we have to listen to his play by play of the last game he did watch. It’s Mickelson this and Mickelson that. It gets really boring. My sister married a winner there.”

You don’t like him?” Luke asked.

“He’s alright. I shouldn’t go on about him. He’s good to her and their two girls.” Sean said, turning off the tv. “So Luke Snyder, what do you do?”

“I’m a vet at the Companion Pet Clinic.” Luke replied.

“Oh yea. I had a cat that I took there when I was younger. It’s a nice clinic.”

“I like it.” Luke smiled, laying his head on the pillow behind his head. “What do you do?”

“I’m in banking. I was power walking, like I said, on my lunch break and some idiot decides to take a right turn- right into me as I’m in the crosswalk. Didn’t even slow down or stop. The cops are looking for him.”

“What an a'sshole!” Luke exclaimed.

“Yea, so what happened to you?” Sean asked interested in why Luke was here.

“I was in a one car accident from what the cop told me. I don’t really remember what happened. It’s all a whirlwind right now. I hit my head and that’s why I’m here. I have a concussion so Dr. Adams wants me to stay.”

“Say,” Sean whispered loud enough for Luke to hear. “What do you think of him?”

“Um, he’s nice and he knows his stuff. Why?” Luke asked, wondering if his roommate had some problem with Dr. Adams.

“No reason.”

“No, you brought it up for a reason. Tell me what you think of him.” Luke sort of insisted with the tone of his voice.

“Well... he’s playing for the 'other' team.” Sean answered.

“So what. That doesn’t make him a bad Doctor. I think he has a great bedside manner.”

“You don’t mind that he’s... (silly whistle)....?”

“No, not at all. Just because he’s gay doesn’t make him any different from any other Doctor. Are you a-”

“Nah, I don’t care either way. I was getting a feel for you.” Sean replied.

“Well, I’m not a racist, a bigot or homophobic.” Luke stated, turning his head to the curtain. It stayed silent for a while and Luke thought Sean may have fallen asleep. He closed his eyes for a second when Sean spoke with genuine concern,“Sorry if I touched a nerve with you.”

Luke opened his eyes. “It’s ok. I need to get off my high horse.” he said.

“My son....” Sean sighed softly. “He’s fifteen and told me and his mother a few months ago that he was... you know.” he said, sounding ashamed. “I didn’t take it so well and ever since, he’s avoided me.”

“Sorry.” Luke said compassionately. “It’s hard for you to accept him?”

“The whole idea of him being gay is hard to take. Think of all the people who will hurt him, who will tease him, who will hate him for who he is without even knowing him.”

“He can’t choose who he is Sean. Raise him to be a confident person and the people who don’t like or accept him, won’t matter to him. He’ll be fine. Teach him how to deal with it. Teach him to accept that there are ignorant people out there and there always will be. He can’t change them and they'll never go away, just as they can’t change him or the gay population.”

“Are you a father?”

“No.” Luke answered.

“I see.” Sean said, understanding why Luke knew so much about gay people.

“My parents were very supportive and never judged me. I could talk to them about anything. My advice, sit him down, tell him you love him no matter what and that nothing would ever take that away.” Luke heard Sean sniffle, then let out a very shaky breath. Did he cross the line?

“God, I know I should do that. I’ve been so selfish thinking about what he’s done to our family with his announcement. If he believes I can’t accept him the way he was born, he must really be frightened of what the world will think!”

Luke listened to Sean weeping. After hesitating, he spoke again, “It’s not too late. Hug him. Love him unconditionally. Treat him with respect. He’s the same boy you knew before he told you he’s gay.”

“You’re right. You’re right.” Sean cried. “I feel like the worst father in the world.”

“It’s going to be ok.” Luke said, feeling it would be. Dr. Adams walked in just then with Luke’s file.

“Everything looks good Luke. No fractures or swelling. Just a minor concussion. Looks like you won’t have to stay here after all, but you do need someone to pick you up. I don’t want you to be alone for about twenty-four hours.”

“Ok."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

PULSE
Part- N

Written by •·.·´¯`·.·•september•·.·´¯`·.·•

Dakota walked into the emergency room at the hospital where he worked and checked in. He picked up the clipboard at the nurses desk and scanned the patient list. He saw one patient’s name and gasped. He also saw that the patient had been moved to a room upstairs.

“Becky, I know I’m taking over for you, but could you stay just a few moments more? My friend was admitted and I didn’t know until just now. I need to see how he is.” Dakota said wild eyed.

“GO!” Becky said loudly, wondering why Dakota was still standing before her in his green scrubs when he should be with his friend.

“Thanks!” Dakota ran to the elevators. Upstairs, he ran to that nurse's station and got Luke’s room number.

“Luke!” Dakota ran into Luke's room, breathing hard. “What happened, are you alright? Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, sitting on the bed.

“I couldn’t until after my head scan, then I got to talking to my roommate.” Luke explained. “I’m glad to see you because I need you to call Tucker for me. I have to stay with him tonight, maybe longer.”

“Why?” Dakota asked in shock.

“Cause me and Noah... it’s a long story. Please call Tucker. I lost my phone in the car.”

‘I read on your chart that you were in an accident. What happened?” Dakota asked, taking out his phone and dialing his boyfriend. Luke gave Dakota the same short version he had given Sean. Dakota shook his head at Luke because of his driving, but also thankful Luke was going to be alright. Now if he could only find out what happened between him and Noah.

“Hello babyyyy.” Tucker answered seductively after he looked at the caller I.D. On his cell phone.

Dakota smiled. “Hi, how are you?”

“Horny as h'ell. I want you so bad right now. I want you to thrust your c'ock into me. God... I miss you so d'amn much. Just hearing your voice makes me want to c'um. Hey, I’m taking off my pants, talk dirty to me. Make me c'um.”

Dakota whispered into the phone, “Ok, uhhh... dirty huh?” He grinned and teased into the phone, “S'hitting, explosive torrential diarrhea, smelly farts, thick yellow nasal discharge, projectile vomit, dead hooker...” He chuckled, seeing Luke's expression of disgust.

“EW, EW, AND TRIPLE EWWW!” Tucker yelled into the phone.

Luke could hear Tucker shout. He started laughing so hard he swallowed wrong and began to cough. Dakota was giggling, but trying to be quiet for the other patient in the room.

“You are naughty.” Tucker said, “Just for that, when you start working days again, I’m not putting out.”

“Yes you will.” Dakota said confidently. “You can’t get enough of me. It’s a wonder you haven’t stalked me in the parking garage when I get off in the morning.”

“What do you mean you ‘get off’ in the morning in the parking garage?! The smell of oil and gas turns you on? I should work as a mechanic, my clothes would smell like that all the time!” Tucker teased, “Cuthbert.”

“Stop it. You know what I mean.”

“I’m at work by the time you get done at the hospital, otherwise I would be stalking you.” Tucker sighed, “God I miss you.”

“I know, you said it already. I miss you too. I want-” Dakota stopped talking when Luke tapped him on the leg. “Oh crap! I forgot about Luke. He needs you to pick him up here at the hospital.”

“What is he doing there?” Tucker asked.

“He hit a pole and he has a concussion.” Dakota answered, glancing at Luke.

“Is he alright?!”

“Yea, he's fine.”

“So? Call Noah, he can pick him up.” Tucker replied.

“It’s not that easy. Here, talk to Luke.” Dakota handed the phone to Luke.

“Tuck? I need you to come and get me. I also need to stay at your place for an undetermined amount of time.” Luke squeezed the tears from his eyes.

“Hey! What’s wrong? You sound really sad.”

“I am, I-- I caught Noah with Morgan in his office. Remember his ex? I heard him tell Noah that he still loves him and the worst part is that Noah was kneeling in front of Morgan when he said it. Kneeling!” Luke said loudly, then closed his mouth, remembering that Sean was behind the curtain. He winced, hoping the man wasn’t too grossed out by his conversation with Tucker.

“That nasty as'shole!” Tucker exclaimed. “I’ll leave right now and be there soon. You need clothes, right? We can stop at your place before Noah gets home and you can pack some to bring over.”

“Thanks, I forgot about clothes. I don’t want to see him. I can’t look at him. I can’t forgive him. Six months wasted, down the drain....”

“We’ll talk later Luke, give the phone back to Dakota please.” Tucker said rapidly.

“Did you know your friend did that to Luke?” he asked Dakota, sounding defensive.

“Don’t get mad at me. I just found out and for the record, I don’t believe it. Noah wouldn’t do that. I know he wouldn’t. There has to be some mistake.”

Tucker rolled his eyes. “Well when you talk to him, you find out, then you call me. I have a few words to say to him.”

Dakota felt Tucker pull away emotionally. “Tucker, I’m sorry. I have nothing to do with this and neither do you. It’s Luke and Noah’s problem, not ours.”

“Luke is MY friend and I’m going to support him!”

“And he’s my friend too, as is Noah. I’m not choosing sides here. Please don’t be mad.”

Silence

“Please?” Dakota begged.

Loud groan

“Tuck...?”

“Yea, I gotta go. I’m driving and talking on a cell. I’ll talk to you when I get there. Bye.”

Dakota pushed ‘off’ and looked at Luke. “He’s on his way.” he said morosely.

Luke laid his hand on Dakota’s leg and said, “I’ll talk to him, promise.”

Dakota nodded. “You’re going to live with him?”

“I have to for a little while.”

“I wonder why he hasn’t asked me to live with him.” Dakota asked aloud with his eyes cast down.

“I don’t know. The topic has never come up between us.” Luke answered, then thought that it was odd that Tucker hadn’t asked Dakota to live with him.

“I’d ask him to live with me, but I don’t think he’d be comfortable living with me AND Nate.”

“Want me to feel him out for you?”

“Oh no. Don’t say a word, please.” Dakota shook his head. “I don’t want him to feel obligated or anything. It was just a thought I had. No big deal.” He stood up and added, “I’m going downstairs, when he gets here, I’ll bring him up.”

“Sounds good. I’m going to get dressed. My clothes would be.... where?” Luke looked around.

“Maybe the nurse brought them up and put them in the closet.” Dakota opened the door. “Yup, they’re here.” he said, picking them up and taking them to Luke.

“Thanks, and Dakota? Please don’t call Noah. I’m begging you.” Luke looked at him with a pleading expression.

“Alright, but he deserves to know where you are and what happened. He will be worried. Despite what you think happened, I know he cares about you.”

“I’ll tell him when I’m ready. Right now, I’m not ready.” Luke dried his eyes as Dakota walked out of the room.

“Sounds like you have a real mess over there.” Sean said. He couldn’t help overhearing everything.

“Yea.”

“You should talk to this... Noah... and find out what happened.” Sean advised in a fatherly way.

“No, not now. Someday, but not now.” Luke replied and looked up, seeing a pretty woman and a shy teenager. They glanced at Luke with a smile and walked past him to Sean’s side.

“Patricia, Thomas!” Sean grinned although Luke couldn’t see it, he could hear it in his voice.

“A broken leg?!” Patricia said surprised.

“Yea, it’s alright though. Say, could you run down and get me a soda please?” Sean asked his wife.

“Sure.”

Luke saw Patricia walk past him and knew Sean was about to have a heart to heart with his son Thomas. He tried not to listen, but Sean's voice wafted to him from the other side of the curtain.

“Son, I love you. Nothing will change that. Not who you date or fall in love with. I’m proud you’re my son and I will always be until the day I die.”

Luke heard the rumpling of sheets that came with a hug and quiet sobs from Thomas. He was happy that he could help out. Patricia came back in and witnessed the father-son reconciliation.

Luke changed and waited on his bed with his discharge papers. He looked up when Dakota and Tucker entered the room. Tucker sat next to him and tenderly touched the bandage on Luke’s forehead.

“Are you alright?” Tucker asked worriedly.

“I will be. Here,” he said, handing over the instructions and care for a concussion. “you’ll be taking care of me tonight.”

Tucker pocketed the paper and looked at Dakota. “Will you walk with us down to my car?”

At the car, Luke sat in the front seat while Dakota and Tucker leaned against it and talked.

“So we’re good now? You’re not mad and I know I’m not mad, right?” Dakota asked.

“How can I stay mad at that adorable face?” Tucker asked rhetorically and pinched Dakota’s cheek. “Come here and give me a kiss.”

Dakota pressed his body into Tucker’s, pinning him to the car.

“You look d'amn sexy in those scrubs.” Tucker smiled, eyeing Dakota’s mouth before kissing his sumptuous lips.

Luke waited patiently, trying to remember his accident. He remembered leaving the casino and getting in the car, then speeding away. I was yelling at Noah in the car, then... hm, nothing. I crashed obviously. Oh s'hit! I was supposed to pay Mr. Wilson for Sadie! I hope he doesn’t hurt her or her puppies! We should stop at the clinic too!

Luke leaned over and knocked on the driver’s window to get Tucker’s attention. It took several minutes for Tucker and Dakota to break apart. When they did, they looked at one another with a smile and quickly hugged as though being apart would kill them. Luke sat back and waited.

“Love you.” Dakota said, kissing Tucker’s neck.

“You do huh?” Tucker snickered, running his outstretched hands up and down Dakota’s back.

“You know I do.” Dakota bit his neck.

“Unngh” Tucker closed his eyes, enjoying the stimulation and the sting. “Love you too.”

Dakota took a step back, reluctantly, and muttered, “I have to get back to work.”

“I know.” Tucker dragged a finger slowly down Dakota’s cheek to his jaw. “I miss you already.”

“Me too.” Dakota said without moving. He had a hard time looking away from Tucker. He wished he could get in his car and go with them. As fast as a blink, he embraced Tucker again, kissed his cheek and walked backwards, away from Tucker. “Bye.”

“Bye Dakota! Who loves you?”

“You do!” Dakota pointed to his boyfriend as he grinned.

“That’s right and don’t forget it.” Tucker pointed back at him, beaming brightly.

“I Love you too! Call me tonight!”

“I will- or you could call me!”

“Ok, bye!” Dakota waved one last time before he turned around.

“Bye!” Tucker waved, watching Dakota walk through the automatic sliding doors. He sighed, turned and opened his car door.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tucker helped Luke into his apartment, then to the couch. He took the suitcase Luke packed to his bedroom and set it out of the way. Since Luke had a concussion and needed around the clock care, he insisted that Luke sleep in the bedroom with him in case something happened.

They had no problem picking up Luke’s clothes. Noah wasn’t there, he was working. They went to the clinic where Luke had to tell Debra that he’d been in an accident and he needed someone to cover for him tomorrow. Then he asked about Sadie.

“Noah paid Mr. Wilson for her and her unborn puppies. I think I heard for two hundred.”

“Noah came here?” Luke asked. “Why?”

“He wanted to talk to you. That’s all I know. I assume you had a falling out again?” Debra looked at Luke. She couldn’t figure out how two grown men could fight so much and still be together.

“Don’t give me that look. This time it WAS his fault. He did a bad thing.” Luke muttered. “So, did he take Sadie or is she in the back?”

“He took her.” Debra replied.

“Ok. Thanks.” Luke turned to leave, but he came back. “Don’t tell Noah I was here.”

“Mr. Snyder... I don’t want to lie for you.” Debra frowned.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Forget I asked.” Luke said. His eyes were getting heavy and he was becoming tired. That’s when they went to Tucker’s place and he fell asleep on the couch while Tucker made a quick and easy supper for them. Grilled cheese and tomato on sourdough bread with a side of store bought coleslaw. He woke Luke up, got him to eat, then took him to the bedroom.

Luke undressed and put on a pair of comfortable cotton shorts and slipped between the sheets. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was asleep.

Tucker changed as well, but he sat propped up in bed and watched tv until ten. He woke Luke up to see if he was ok, then went to sleep next to him.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Same As Me.

loveislove...right — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:02:35 CDT

Here is a little something that I wrote along time ago. It is a poem that Noah wrote to Luke, once he realized that he loved him, and knew how his father was. I hope you like it!!!

Same As Me

Love happens to you when you least expect it to.
I ran into loves arms, while I was trying to run away.
Like an unwanted dream, it finds you in your sleep.
And while in that sleep, I looked in those eyes and realized,
that I, could not hold back, not anymore, because I fell hard.
Fell hard in love.

Some people say it's wrong,
For me to love you like I do.
Some people say that its a sin
For me to open up to you.
But through it all, I'm finding out,
That it's OK, to fall in love, with a person, who is the same as me.

Once I seen how, love really is with you,
I could not back out no matter how hard I try.
It feels so great for me to say that I am in love with you.
But it also feels so wrong for me to have this love for you.
What do I do to get over these ideas that I have for me and you?
The most important question is, do I even want to get over these ideas.

I always thought that it is wrong
For me to love you like I do.
I always thought that it is a sin
for me to open up to you.
But I am learning through it all,
that it's okay to fall in love with a person, who is the same as me.

You showed me that it's okay, for me to feel the way I do.
It is just a part of life, this love, you told me in my ear.
I turned your way, and found myself lost in those big brown eyes.
This statement has been said so may times before,
but I never thought that I would ever them out loud
If loving you is wrong, than I don't want to be right.

I don't care about the people
that say that it is wrong,
for me to love you like I do.
I don't care about the people
that say that it is a sin
for me to open up to you, for,
I finally learned that it is fine to fall in love with a person
who is the same sex as me!!!!

Chapter 2: That Kind of Hug

Aspirwriter — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 15:00:52 CDT

Title: The Gold Medal
Chapter: Part 4, Chapter 2: That Kind of Hug
Rating: PG
Summary: Luke and Holden check in at the hotel while Noah checks out Luke
Characters: Luke, Holden, Noah
Genre:
Warnings:
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we've begun our initial descent in preparation for landing at Zurich Airport. At this time please secure all loose items….”

“Dad. Dad, we’re getting ready to land, wake up!” Luke roused Holden from his long nap. The overnight flight was the most efficient way to travel from the US to Europe and would afford them a full day now in Zurich to get acquainted with the city, and of course, with the upcoming World Cup events. Luke hadn’t been able to sleep a wink, reading issue after issue of Powder Magazine hoping to learn enough to talk intelligently with Noah. He wanted to impress him with his new found knowledge of all things snow skiing.

After a smooth landing, the plane arrived in the gate on time at 8:30 am. Holden, Luke and the other passengers made their way down the isle to depart the plane, hearing the usual goodbyes from the crew. “Goodbye...”, “Thank you for flying Delta Airlines...” Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye…”

Luke wanted to respond ‘Au Revoir! I’m going to see this incredible guy who’s a professional skier, and we’ve already spent the night together twice, and so I’m hoping we can get together again, in Europe of all places, and he's amazing!' But he thought better of it and instead slightly smiled and responded "Bye-Bye".

Holden and Luke headed for baggage claim. “You want to check out Zurich today after getting into the hotel?” asked Holden. Luke responded, “Sure, that sounds good. The first World Cup events start tomorrow, so maybe we could also check out the venues.” “Good idea,” replied Holden. “Thanks to your grandmother, we don’t have to worry about getting any tickets. The Gold Pass she got each of us should get us into the VIP area at any event we want to go to.” Luke smiled. “Yeah, that was a big surprise. This is going to be so great!"

Holden glanced over at Luke as they walked. “So, do you know which events that American is in, Mayer is it?” Luke flinched. “Oh, uh, yeah, Noah Mayer. He’s in the Giant Slalom and three Downhill events, I believe. I’m not sure, I’ll have to check.” Of course he knew exactly WHEN and WHERE Noah would be competing the whole time. “Umm hmm,” replied Holden smoothly.

What was that, Luke thought. That, umm hmm. (Does he know something more about me and Noah??)

“Here we are,” said Holden. They arrived at the baggage carousel and waited for a few minutes before spotting their bags. They retrieved them and then headed over to Customs. After a few minor questions, they were cleared and made their way to Ground Transportation to grab a taxi. "That wasn't so bad," said Holden. The taxi line wasn't too long, and before they knew it, they were in a taxi heading for the hotel. Luke took a chance and texted Noah.

N Here! On route to hotel, will call. L

He received a response a moment later.

L Great! What hotel? N

N Zurich Marriott. L

L :) c u there. N

(Oh no, I'm not ready for this yet!) Luke wondered if he should tell his dad everything now or wait and see what happens. He could add a few more details to what he told him on the plane, or he could just confess almost everything. Would his dad be mad and think he tricked him into coming? Of course he wanted to see Noah, but he had hoped for a little more time to tell his dad. Once again, back and forth...back and forth. This man was making him crazy!

Before Luke realized it, they arrived at their hotel. A porter got their bags out of the trunk and Holden paid for the taxi while Luke's eyes darted around, wondering when and where Noah would pop up. They went inside and went to stand in the check-in line. Holden pulled out a tourist map of Zurich he had picked up for the trip and held it out. "There's quite a lot to see here. It looks like we're in the center of the city. There's a bus line we could use...."

Luke's eyes were still darting around. "Luke. Earth to Luke. Are you with me?" said an amused Holden. "Oh, yeah. Sorry," he said sheepishly and began looking at the map with Holden. He pointed out a few of the ski venues while Holden talked about doing a little sight-seeing, possibly a bus tour. (Why do older people always want to do bus tours? It would be more fun just to get out there and find your way around!)

They worked out a plan to walk around in the morning and look in a few shops in the center of town, grab some lunch, and then take a bus tour in the afternoon that included driving by the major ski areas. Luke noticed a train station that would give them access to Geneva. "That could work. I'll call the school this afternoon and see when the best time would be for us to-" He was interrupted by someone tapping on his shoulder. He froze, sucked in a breath, (get a grip and calm down!) and turned around.

Once again, Luke was looking up into the most beautiful pair of blue eyes and a warm grin that made him feel warm all over. "Hey Luke!" said Noah before giving him a hug. (He's hugging me!) He glanced over at the man standing next to Luke. (This must be dad!) He loosened his grip on the guy he'd been waiting weeks to see and shook hands with Holden. "Hey Noah! This is my dad, Holden Snyder," said Luke as he tried to overcome the blush he felt on his cheeks.

Just hugging the man felt amazing. He could have gotten lost in those strong arms had his dad not been standing right there. "It's good to meet you Noah. I hear from Luke that you are one of our team's star skiers." Noah smiled. "Thank you Sir. I don't know about being a 'star'. We're fortunate this year to have several strong members on the team." Holden responded, "Well, we're looking forward to seeing you perform on the slopes." Luke could feel his face flushing again. (Perform? Why did he have to say perform?)

By this time, Holden and Luke had reached the counter, and Holden began talking with the clerk about check-in. "I'll be right back, Dad," Luke said quickly.

He and Noah walked over to a side area away from most of the crowd and hugged again. "I missed you," Noah breathed, looking into brown eyes and blonde hair he dreamt about. And Luke's lips. It was all he could do to stop himself from putting his hands on Luke's face and devouring those lips. "I missed you too," Luke smiled. "So how soon can we ditch dad and spend some alone time together?" joked Noah.

"Well, I have an idea, at least for now," giggled Luke. "I'm trying to break my dad in to the idea that I traveled across the ocean to see you. You probably have practice runs today, but I wondered if you could get away for lunch and meet us somewhere?" Noah put a hand on Luke's waist and whispered in his ear. "Didn't I tell you that you're the best practice I can get?"

Luke smirked. "Well then we'll have to make sure you practice before your first event. Where are you staying?" "Here," grinned Noah, putting his other hand on Luke's waist.

"You're kidding?! Here? That's perfect! I think. Wait. Hmmm. I'm gonna have to think about how to work things with dad, but I'll think of something." Luke's mind was racing.

Noah eyed him with a seductive smile. "You better." He leaned over again to whisper in Luke's ear. "Because I want you Luke. If I could, I'd take you up to my room right now and wouldn't let you go." Luke could feel his breathing getting harder. And that wasn't the only thing getting harder. "Ok, now you're getting me all hot and bothered again, good grief," he managed to say.

"Good!" Noah straightened up. He wanted to get to know Luke's dad too. He seemed like a nice man, so different than his own father. "Tell you what. You go out and do some sightseeing with your dad, and I'll meet you both for lunch. I'll give you a call." He added with his seductive voice again, "Then we'll figure out what to do about tonight."

"Okay, that sounds like a plan," Luke smiled. "I better get back to my dad."

They walked back over to the check-in counter when Holden was just getting the keys. "Here you go."

"Thanks. Uh dad, Noah says that he could meet us for lunch if we'd like between his practice runs," Luke said. Holden glanced at Noah and smiled. "That would be great, Noah. I look forward to it." "Yes sir, me too. I'll see you both at lunch. Luke, I'll call you later, okay?" Noah said. "Sure, sounds good." smiled Luke.

He and Holden headed for the elevators with their luggage in tow, leaving Noah in the lobby. Once in the elevator, Holden opened up. "He seems like a good guy. That's nice of him to take time for us out of his busy schedule." Luke responded, "Yeah, like I said he really appreciates the fans, and their support, and he thinks it's great we traveled-"

"You suppose he gives that kind of hug to all his fans?" smiled Holden, glancing at Luke.

"Okay, okay. I get it," sighed Luke. "Should I start from the beginning?" Holden responded, "That's always a good place to start, Luke."

By Your Side

luv2writeandread — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:22:46 CDT

Title-By Your Side
Characters-Luke,Noah,Reid
Chapters-1/1
Genre-Drama,Fluff (mostly fluff though)
Style-One shot
Rating-PG
Summary-How it SHOULD be. Or how this storyline should be
Disclaimer-I own nothing
Notes-I hate the way the show is treating this really I hate it,breaking up when they need each other the most makes no sense to me. So this one shot is how I think it should go

"What's it look like?" Noah asked,craning his head over to Luke

Luke stirred and looked back at him

"Hmm?"

"The sky,what does it look like from up here?"

Luke grinned

"Well..kinda like one of Ethan's miniature towns,mostly it's clouds though'

"What kind?"

"There white..really white"

"Like cottonballs?"

"Sorta like that,but fluffier,like whipped cream"

"I thought the flight to Dallas would be longer..but I think were almost there..I can feel the altitude dropping' Noah remarked

"Well,it's been a couple of hours..I guess air traffic was good today" Luke joked

A few moments later the plane began its landing process,finally coming to a halt on the tarmac

Noah reached down at his feet and pulled his cane up,opening it and putting his arm on the edge of the seat to raise himself up

"Come on grandpa,we don't have all day now" Luke joked at him

Noah turned around and lightly bopped Luke on the head with it,with about as much force as an infant

"Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's not nice to rush the crippled?"

"Yeah,but you ain't crippled,just visonaly challenged"

"Your so corny sometimes,you know that right?"

Luke grinned and pecked him on the nose

"Sure,but you still love me"

"Can't deny that one"

----

Luke opened the door of their temporary living quarters and looked around experimentally

The room was small,but cozy and obviously well maintained

"Well,here we are'

Noah let himself through the door and put his hand on the wall

"Hmm..wallpaper..I guess that's cheaper than painting" He wondered aloud

"Come on,let's see what else we got in here"

Noah walked himself to the living room,keeping one hand on the wall of the unfamiliar area to prevent himself from tripping on an unknown object

He reached down and felt around

"Hmm..tv...coffee table..window"

"Yeah,it's already furnished"

"That's obvious" Noah said

Together,they made they're way through the whole space,Noah using the wall and his cane and Luke's voice as a guide as he touched every object,familiarizing himself with the strange surroundings

Where The Heart Is - Mirror 11

flytalian — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:04:10 CDT

Title: Where The Heart Is (Long Way Home - Mirror Chapter)
Author: Flytalian
Chapter: 10/?
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Genre: AU
Summary/Warnings: READ HERE (essential to understand the structure of the story!)

Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

I'm incredibly sorry that I barely have the time to reply to your comments, guys! =( I'll get there, I promise!

You’ll bother me in here - right?” Noah’s eyes glimmered, teasing and hopeful and one inch too close.

Luke plunged into the kiss helplessly.

Noah’s lips surrounded him like a carnivorous plant and his arms half-lifted Luke from the fwhiloor, making him lose track of time and space. Nothing mattered outside Noah’s body pressing flush against his and demanding that they engage in much more interesting pastimes than any meet-the-folks activity.

He was getting used to Noah’s passionate fits by now, an emotional and blatant swing that left them both breathless and confused.

Noah framed Luke’s face in his hands and let his tongue probe forward and tickle the roof of his mouth. Luke swayed on his feet and latched his arms onto his neck, blown away with the hunger and longing exuding for this man who had been through everything and had chosen to settle with him.

Eventually Noah pulled back and Luke breathed for air, a huge beam blossoming on his face as he savored Noah’s taste on his lips and the unmistakable heat that always came from being so close to the man that rocked his world.

“I’ll definitely bother you in here if you’ll keep kissing me like that.” Even with closed eyes, Luke could sense the smirk fluttering over Noah’s mouth. He was clearly pleased with knowing he could still have such an effect on Luke.

Noah leaned in as Luke’s eyes blinked back open. The sight of smugness and anticipation mixed with natural Noah-gorgeousness nearly took Luke’s breath away.

“Deal.”

Luke smiled broadly and lifted his hand, offering it palm-up for Noah to take it. Let’s go. He meant. Together.

Noah smiled back but couldn’t hide the hint of panic flickering in his blue eyes – Luke was on the lookout for any freaking-out symptoms in whatever shape or form. He pulled Noah’s arm gently with him as he dragged him downstairs and squeezed his hand to remind them both he would be there all the time.

He knew Noah wanted this, too. He was just scared he wouldn’t be good enough.

“NOAH!” Ethan’s squeal was the first to shrill through the room and break the frozen silence that had followed their appearance.

Natalie’s tender, Noah-shaped mutter followed shortly after and that seemed to give permission to anyone in the room to let their excitement out.

Luke saw the youngest of his sisters hug Noah’s waist as if her life depended on it and Ethan struggling to get his share of room to welcome Noah properly. Faith tried to hold back as Luke had asked them to and reached out to squeeze Noah’s hand, but couldn’t resist leaning in and quickly hiding her face in his neck before giving way to other hands, other members of the family eager to say hello to the prodigal son of their hearts.

Lily was laughing and sniffing as her children roamed around her legs and kept her from pulling Noah into her arms. Luke smiled at the mix of happiness and apprehension in Noah’s eyes and hoped his mother’s eagerness wouldn’t scare him away, which was quite likely to happen, given the dizzy look Noah was wearing.

Luke felt crowded with the love of his family and once again felt thankful he had them.

He left Noah’s hand for barely a second and moved behind him, slipping his arms around his waist to give more room to his impatient family and at the same time let Noah know he was still here. Just enjoy. I’ll always have your back.

Lily leaned in and Luke heard the words she spoke into Noah’s hair. “We missed you so much.”

Luke watched Jack just smile and hold out his hand and Noah shake it like a peer, like a man acknowledging the credit that was due. He mutely witnessed to the quiet reunion with Aaron, who had barely even met Noah, but there was a happiness in his cerulean eyes Luke hardly ever saw there.

Noah started fidgeting when it become clear it was Lucinda’s turn, but Luke trusted her to do the right thing more than he did with nearly everyone else.

Lucinda gave Noah a look and wordlessly pulled him into her arms, almost tearing him out of Luke’s.

“Thank you.” Luke heard Noah whisper in an emotion-filled voice. “Thank you so much.”

Luke didn’t hear what his grandmother muttered under her breath and into Noah’s ear, but he grasped a couple of darling’s, a lot of thank you’s and one too many muffled sniff she would never admit she was uttering. He intercepted Casey’s approving gaze from the other side of the room and smiled at the little Starla, which looked a little freaked out and not-so-happy with all the attention her Noah was currently getting.

Luke stood behind Noah and tightened his hold every time Noah seemed to sway or falter. He felt his boyfriend’s body lean into his as though searching for an anchor and his heart swelled at thinking that was what he was for Noah – his rock, his shelter.

Something about that made him giddy and proud and freaking scared, but he didn’t have time to dwell into the thought as his eyes landed on his father, the next in line to hug Noah hello. Luke felt Noah’s muscles clench under his arms and he knew they were having the same thought. They both knew Holden’s welcome would be the ultimate blessing, the final proof for everyone in the house that Noah was really back home.

Luke met his father’s eyes and saw acknowledgment and wariness and something he couldn’t quite name, but it looked a lot like trust. And then Luke saw all that disappear into love as soon as Holden laid his eyes on Noah and his fatherly hands found his shoulders, grounding him, taking him back.

And Luke’s embrace come a bit looser, as his heart knew this was a time where he could let go.

Holden gave a final smile and turned to the tribe fussing around the newcomer. “Alright, guys – I think we should leave Noah some room to breathe, don’t you think?”

Natalie and Ethan whined and Holden glanced at Faith, knowing he could count on her. “Why don’t you kids go and help Mom setting the table?”

“Only if I can sit next to Noah!” Natalie claimed.

“No, I sit next to Noah!” Ethan rose up.

Faith smiled amusedly and Luke saw in her eyes what had been going through his own head. This is exactly how it used to be. “Come on, little monsters. Let’s go and see who wins the prize.”

Noah glanced at Luke and smiled, and Luke’s cheeks reddened. He knew they were under the spotlight, in the middle of a swirl of love and attentions and curiosity, and something so simple like a shared knowing smile was enough to tip his world upside down.

“Want to sit down?”

Noah was so lost in thought he flinched at Luke’s question. “What? Uh. Yes.”

Luke guided him to the chair that used to be Emma’s favorite and hoped some of his Grandma’s wisdom would still hover around and envelop Noah, somehow. He sat on the armrest and weaved his fingers through Noah’s hair, smiling warmly.

“How do you feel?”

Noah seemed torn between slouching into the wing chair and nuzzling against Luke’s hand. “I’m ok.”

“Noah.” Luke warned.

Noah opened his eyes and looked him in the face. “A bit overwhelmed, maybe. But it feels good. They feel good.”

They love you, you know. Luke wanted to say, but he knew better than to pressure Noah on the subject, so he kept quiet.

Lily’s voice called him from the kitchen. “Luke? Can you come here for a sec?”

Luke met Noah’s eyes, unsure how to handle this. “Um...”

Noah seemed amused at his consideration. “Go.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I can stay if you—“

Noah pushed him off the chair. “Go.” A smirk played on his lips and Luke thought it was the best sight ever. “I need to look after Starla, I’ll be too busy to pay attention to you anyway.”

“That so, huh? I’ll remember that, Mayer.” Luke grinned like a loon and reluctantly stood up, leaning over to plan a quick kiss over Noah’s lips. “See you later.”

Noah pinched his butt as he moved away, making him flare up. “Later.”

***

Luke popped briefly in the living room and noticed his little sister drape herself onto Noah’s lap. Luke held his breath as he watched the panic on Noah’s face swelling up and then disappearing as soon as his long arms wrapped around her. He smiled when Faith appeared in the picture and regretted not having a cam with him when Ethan’s head popped up next to the chair, too.

He just hoped this wasn’t too much for Noah, as this was a sight he could drench in forever.

He was about to go back to the kitchen when he noticed Ethan skimming his little fingers across Noah’s neck and Noah stiffening up, again a deer in the headlights like every time someone touched his scars.

“Hey, E.” He rushed to call. “You should show Noah your dirt bike. Dad said you brought it.”

Excited squeals preceded his siblings out of the door and Luke sighed in relief that his little diversion had worked. Noah stood up from the chair he was holding on for dear life and approached him, gratitude and amazement on his face.

I’ll never grow tired to see that look in your eyes.

“You coming, too?”

Luke stared right through him to make sure he was really as good as he wanted to make believe. He reached out and intertwined their fingers, seeing Noah relax and move further away from the freaking-out area he’d been inching dangerously close to.

Luke figured out the family would be fine on their own in the kitchen for a while.

“Yeah.” He gave way to Noah through the door that led outside and palmed his back while squeezing his fingers at the same time. “You hanging in there?”

“Yep.” Noah looked balanced and kind of comfortable again now. “Isn’t Ethan a little young for a dirt bike?”

Luke chuckled, looking around to search for the children. “Don’t tell him that. He’s almost seven!”

Noah stopped and leaned into him, his voice cracking. “F'uck, Luke. I’ve missed so much...”

“You’ll catch up.” Luke could only imagine how different everything felt to Noah, but he was positive it would be just a matter of time. We’ll catch up. “You will. I promise.”

***

Casey kept an eye on Starla anywhere she went, making sure the big family reunion didn’t become too much for her. They was outside to get a breath of fresh air when Ethan and Natalie had dashed out of the house, stopping in their tracks at her sight.

“Who are you?” Natalie blurted out, ever the outspoken one.

Starla lifted big, scared eyes to Casey and recoiled behind him. Casey breathed in and placed a hand on her head, something she allowed him to do now, in the meanwhile smiling to his somehow acquired siblings. “Hello to you, guys. Is that the way to welcome a newbie?”

Natalie blushed and shifted nervously on her feet as Ethan glanced at his bike on Holden’s truck nearby, then back at Starla.

“This is Starla.” Casey said as he softly massaged her head, getting her to look at him. “She’s a really special friend of Noah – aren’t you?”

“I’m Natalie.” The girl stretched out her hand and grabbed Starla’s, catching them all off guard. “I’m a good friend of Noah’s, too.”

Casey raised an eyebrow, but Starla didn’t freak out as expected, instead she hinted a little smile and ducked her head, moving a little around her Casey-den. Her eyes darted to the red-and-green bike few feet from them.

“That’s my bike.” Ethan chimed in. “Do you want to see it?”

Starla looked up at Casey for permission and when he nodded approvingly they all walked to Holden’s pick-up. Casey never let go of Starla’s hand but noticed that her grip was a little less painful, until at some point she let go on her own accord to move closer to the brand-new bike. Wow. Talk about kids power.

Luke stepped out in the sun and saw Casey joining Aaron near the barn, leaving Starla with her peers but never losing sight of what happened with her. I really need to tell him how great he’s doing, one of these days.

He and Noah exchanged a smile as they joined the kids on the path and Luke contemplated his boyfriend’s face transfiguring when he saw Starla paying not a bit of attention to Ethan’s bragging words, but very keen on examining the bike and exchanging eloquent glances with Natalie next to her.

Noah looked charmed by the girl and her naturalness in bonding with Luke’s siblings. “Hey, Starla. Luke told me you were here - where ya been hiding?” He stepped up and got her attention, for once ignoring Natalie and Ethan thoroughly.
Luke noticed how careful yet prodding he was with her and wished he had the same skill in dealing with Noah’s ghosts.

Starla glanced at Luke, then at Noah, smiling ever so shyly to both before casting her eyes back to the ground. “Casey gave me some apples for the horses.”

Noah squatted down to look her in the eye and that alone was a consideration Luke would’ve never thought of, but Noah was just that good at such details. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to those horses, Super Star. I bet your Esther was happy to see you.”
Ethan looked up from his bike, all of a sudden suspicious and alert. “You got new horses?”

Luke would have smirked, but he knew this was serious business for his little brother. “Yeah, E. Casey and I are working with Starla and a few other kids to rehabilitate some abandoned horses.”

Natalie seemed to put two and two together and tilted her head, her eyes darting between Starla and Luke. “Esther?”

Luke met Noah’s eyes and nodded. Noah smiled at Starla to include her into the conversation. “Yeah, Nat. Esther means star - and Starla’s been helping with her rehabilitation. I think it was fate that brought Esther here... like the Stars aligning in the universe, huh, Super Star?”

Luke grinned at the matching smiles on Noah’s and Starla’s face. Before he even realized she had moved, Natalie was pulling at his jumper and making the puppy eyes he knew so well. “Can we help?”

Luke pursed his lips and sat on the tailgate, brushing his hand through his sister’s hair while looking at the other girl in front of him. “I don’t know. What do you think, Star?”

Starla was clearly startled to be drawn into such a decision. “Um...”

“Maybe you could introduce them to the horses, Super Star.” Noah encouraged her. “See how they react to new people.”

“O.K.” She didn’t sound quite sure, but she was looking at Noah as if she trusted him to help her do the right thing, as long as he was around.

Luke thought he had a fairly good idea of how she felt.

Natalie placed herself in front of Starla, reassuring and excited at once. “We’ve been around horses before. We’ve just never habitulated them before.”

Luke held back a chuckle. “Rehabilitated.”

“Whatever.” Her hand was on Starla before either of them could do anything. “Come on, Starla.”

Ethan jumped off the truck, sprinting off behind them. “Wait for me!”

Luke grinned and saw happiness and admiration radiate from Noah’s eyes as he looked at his little protégée slowly making her way back to life.

Luke wondered if he had the same look when he watched over Noah.

He sure wished Noah would have the same look when looking himself in the mirror, someday.

***

Noah was unusually quiet in the next bedroom and Luke hoped he wasn’t regretting joining the family barbecue in the first place. As far as Luke was concerned, he’d done great – and so had his crazy family, holding back just enough to let Noah enjoy the feeling of home without being overwhelmed with the fuzziness of their antics.

Luke put the towel back in place and walked into the room in time to see Noah quickly drying his eyes with his wrist, repressing a sigh he glaringly didn’t want Luke to hear.

He frowned. “What’s wrong, Love?”

Noah pressed his lips together, apparently trying to lighten the subject. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Luke wasn’t convinced at all, but all he could do was to offer Noah his time and unbiased listening, and wait for him to come around. “You sure?”

Noah hummed a yes and burrowed his nose into Luke’s neck before letting his mouth travel up to his mouth. Luke felt his the temperature of the room raise up and moaned despite himself when Noah’s lips found his ear and murmured the words he needed so badly to hear.

“I want you so much.”

Oh God.

Luke was hard already and pushed himself against Noah’s mouth while carding his fingers through dark, damp hair that smelled of shampoo and Snyder barn and home.

“God, Noah, that feels good.” Never stop. God, nevernevernever stop. Luke hardly recognized his own voice, as hoarse and unsteady as it was. “I want you too. So much.”

Noah’s fingers made their way under Luke’s bed t-shirt and his palms found his back, pulling him closer and then snug against him. Luke thought he might die right on the spot.

Noah. God, Baby, I want you. WantyouWantyouWantyouWantyou…

Noah seemed to read his mind and yanked Luke’s tee up onto his torso to expose his chest. He leaned in to kiss his pecs and Luke’s breath grew uneven. He was already gone and done in when Noah yanked the garment out of the way in a not-so-careful way and tugged his own off, too.

Oh God.

I need you.

Please Noah--

F'uck! Noah’s tongue on his had never felt so good.

Luke surrendered to the storm of Noah’s ardor that was eating him in. He shuddered when an impatient, hot hand clamped at his back, purred into Noah’s mouth at the feeling of fingers through his hair, soft, demanding, paradoxically both at the same time, like only Noah could be when they were like this.

I need to touch you.

Luke felt Noah tremble under his fingertips when they brushed over his nipples and abs and recognized them to be shivers of the best kind. God, you feel so good.

Noah’s mouth bit at his chin and Luke moaned again, pressing closer as he couldn’t stand any more distance that two layers of skin.

Oh Baby.

Noah was still so good at this.

Or maybe it was him who stood no chance when this man was around – kissing, touching. Sometimes just breathing.

Either way, Noah could still reduce him to a whimpering mess with the brush of two fingers.

Luke shuddered at the thought of Noah’s fingers inside of him, bit harder inside Noah’s mouth when his groin and ass took the drift and claimed what they’d been missing forever – needyouneedyouneedyousomuch….

Luke’s hands skimmed near Noah’s bulge and veered away to his lower back. He faltered when he reached the first of the many knolls on his back, but willed himself to go on.

He needs me to not care.

He needs to know I don’t care.

A popping sound was the next thing he heard, along with the pain in his chest Noah’s shove to chase him away had nothing to do with.

“Stop!”

Luke braced himself onto the wardrobe, breathing heavily. S'hit. I’m sorry. Don’t look at me like that…

Noah babbled some incoherent apologies and rushed to the bathroom. The sound the lock turning close carved Luke’s heart open and made him want to cry.

“Noah?”

Luke moved close to the door, leaning with his hear against the cold surface so he wouldn’t miss any of Noah’s whispers.

“Just...I can’t...just go away.”

Luke’s heart was beating wildly. Together. We agreed we’re in this together. “Noah, please let me in.”

“Luke.” Noah sounded imploring and lost. “Please.”

Luke slumped to the floor and let his forehead bump softly against the door. Are you there? Are you still with me? “Please, Noah. I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes, somehow trying to prevent them from brimming over with tears. “I shouldn’t have touched you like that. It won’t happen again. Just…” He sighed. “…let me in.”

Noah opened the door so quickly Luke almost fell forward. Luckily Noah’s body was there to catch him and draw him up to his feet and hold him close and neat into his arms, as Noah dropped kisses all over his hair and face. “Shut. Up.”

Luke was in a daze. First the closeness, then the distance, then Noah again – so close… “Noah...”

Noah’s arms tightened around him, almost leaving him no air to breathe. “No. Never apologize for loving me, Luke.”

Luke tried to pull back, meet his eyes. Please, look at me. “Noah...”

“Luke please. No. I want you.” Noah wouldn’t let him pull out of the embrace and Luke had to settle with listening to his voice. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I want you so f'ucking much and I can’t get there...” Luke felt Noah’s heartbeat quicken against his ear and palmed his chest to soothe him. It’s ok. I’m here.

“I can’t find you...it’s like I get so close and then he’s there... holding me down and laughing at me” The fastest he talked, the tightest he hugged Luke to his chest. Luke wanted to be the one holding him, but this seemed what Noah needed right now. “and keeping you at arm’s length...I just....f'uck...he f'ucking branded me!!!”

Luke disentangled from the embrace and thumbed Noah’s tears away, forced him to show his eyes. “Noah... look at us, Love.”

Noah’s voice creaked. His eyes spoke of fear, sorrow, regret that he was such a burden for everyone. “Luke...”

Luke put a finger on his lips and glanced down their two bodies, smiling because they didn’t seem able to stay apart.

“No. You shut up now. Look at us. Do you realize this is the first time since that hotel room the night I found you that we have been skin to skin?”

He saw Noah holding his breath and nodding briefly.

“It’s progress, Noah.” I know. I want that, too.

Luke let his hands roam over Noah’s chest, amazed with the well-built body his boyfriend still had. And he’s mine. He wants to be mine. “This....” he smirked and felt already-stiff nipples harden up under his fingers as Noah unconsciously pressed closer, craving more. Just. This. “...is huge progress.”

Noah shuddered and breathed deeply, closing his eyes so as to hide his fear.

I know you so damn well.

‘What if I never...” Noah voiced.

Luke’s hands cupped his face. “You will.”

Noah’s eyes welled up with longing and tears. “I want you so much...”

Luke smiled. It feels so good to hear it. “Turn around.”

Noah froze. “I...what...you can’t...Luke...”

“I’ve already seen them, Noah. And I’m still here.” Luke knew the scars would be just scars after Noah would kill his own ghosts. But until then, they were everything that kept them apart. Luke needed to make sure Noah knew he knew. “Do you trust me, Noah?”

Noah’s eyes softened. Luke could see how badly he wanted to give in, and how much it cost him. “Of course I trust you, Baby. More than anyone. But...”

“Then turn around.” Luke emphasized his words with soft caress along Noah’s biceps, where he knew was safe to touch him. “Please.”

Much to Luke’s surprise, Noah eventually caved in and turned. Luke knew what to expect and didn’t flinch at seeing the scars, even when he was reminded of the shape they formed, something he did his best not to think of – something he knew Noah could never forget.

Noah was staring at him through the mirror, trust and fear and love all in one gaze. Luke kept eyes locked with his and knew he had to be up to such an heroism, give back to Noah everything he’d been deprived of since probably forever.

“I want you too, Noah.”

Noah’s mouth fell open, as if couldn’t believe it and he wanted to tell Luke to stop.

Luke didn’t stop though. He didn’t plan to ever stop telling his man he was worth all the love he was given, and much more.

Luke breathed through his nose, never taking his eyes off of Noah’s. “I am standing here - inches away from your bare back - and I still want you so f'ucking much. Maybe even more. You know why?”

Noah didn’t speak. Luke knew this was the kind of answer he needed to be told.

“You’re beautiful, Noah.”

Luke inched closer and pressed his lips a little below Noah’s nape. He found again the smell of shampoo, Snyder barn and a bit of Noah’s sweat and, more than ever, it felt like his long-lost, newly-found home.

“Every mark on your skin reminds me of how strong you are.”

He spoke against the skin of Noah’s neck and let his fingers glide across his back, carefully treading around the bumps so as to tell Noah that they’d get there – yet that he was well aware of what was there, and ready to accept it as one of the many parts of Noah’s that he loved so much.

“You aren’t branded, Love. You survived something horrifying. You are here and you are whole and I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

Luke was grateful that Noah seemed to hang on to his strength – but I feel so weak compared to you…

He knew him repeating over and over again wouldn’t do it for Noah, but maybe that was part of a healing process that’s already started. Just like Starla, Noah was making a lot more progresses than he himself thought. They were survivors.

God only knew if Luke would’ve live through what those two had to experience.

“I know it doesn’t feel like it yet - but you are strong, Noah. Each one of these beautiful marks on your gorgeous skin tells me that you’re here and alive.” Luke’s lips lowered to brush over the scar his little brother had been so curious about. Noah shuddered and pushed back against him, and Luke took it as a hint to continue down this road.

“You’re strong, Noah.”

Luke’s eyes didn’t water this time. He was finally growing to believe his own words and consider Noah’s scars for what they were – mute tokens of what they could go through and come out alive from.

“You’re kind.” His lips mouthed the three scars on Noah’s left shoulder and sneaked down across his back. “You’re loving” Noah breathed shakily under his lips and Luke felt deliriously happy that he was somehow getting this right. “and lovable” I love you so much “and touchable” need you so much “and amazing in every way.”

Luke kept kissing and knelt down to reach the lowest scars. Noah twitched when he grasped his thighs and Luke held on tighter, punctuating every word with a peck of loving lips. “You’re worthy and desirable and pure and” God “everything I want and need...”

Luke’s mind retraced the path of his mouth, unable to wipe away the colorless signs on paler skin. Bastard. Luke couldn’t get over it. Not the fact that Noah was marked, but what was there.

Bricks had made sure everybody knew Noah belonged to Stanley.

Brick left his signature so that nobody would care about touching the boy anymore.

Bastard. Luke clasped Noah’s thigh and rested his head against Noah’s cotton-clad a'ss, breathing hard. His brain was racing with all the cruel things he would do to Bricks if he were still alive and with all the loving, hungry, unchaste ones he planned to do to Noah.

When the time’s right.

God.

Luke’s fingertips brushed over the half-moons that he had just recently kissed.

This is not him.

This is you.

Luke’s pants grew more husky and his nails sank into Noah’s thighs.

No Stanley. Just you.

Your own mark.

My own Super-St…

Luke’s breath was taken away when Noah turned without warning and his scent ran over him in full force.

Luke tried to keep his cool but it was nowhere near easy with Noah standing shirtless in front of him and certainly affected by the closeness and Luke’s touches – if the swell in his sweatpants was of any indication.

Luke swallowed hard.

The air filling his nostrils suddenly felt scarce and permeated of Noah and Luke find it hard to breath.

This wasn’t planned.

“I...f'uck Noah. I can smell you. I want you and I can f'ucking smell how much you want me, too.”

Noah’s hands closed on his hair and Luke groaned and time stilled for few eternal seconds where Luke was panting and Noah was shaking, more in sync than they had ever been in weeks – motionless – until Luke could no longer take it and leaned forward against Noah’s thigh, kissing him there despite himself – whimpering under his breath. “Noah... I want...” I can’t. We can’t… “f'uck...”

Noah didn’t move and Luke forgot what he couldn’t do. He moved sideways and found himself soaked into Noah’s scent.

So good. You feel so good.

He only had to part his lips and take the heat in.
Sure Noah wouldn’t mind.

But I do.

Luke inhaled deeply and stayed where he was, mouth and eyes closed as he felt the weight of Noah’s shaft even without touching it.

S'hit.

Not like this.

He didn’t look up, as he knew that if he met Noah’s lust-filled eyes, he would forget about all restraints. He hated himself when he spoke, but it was the right thing to do.

Do nothing unless he asks for it.

He had given himself the rule weeks ago and he was determined to stick by it.

He kicked the words out of his mouth before he lost track of his wise thinking. “When you’re ready...when WE’RE ready...I’m going to...” Noah’s fingers were still carded through his hair, possibly holding on tighter at Luke’s words. “god...you smell so f'ucking good...”

Luke gulped down the lump and the lust in his throat and whined when Noah dropped to his knees.

I want you. I want you so badly it hurts so f'ucking much.

Luke climbed onto Noah’s legs and couldn’t care less if they were matted in the most uncomfortable position in the world. Noah’s mouth sought his and Luke gave in to the closure he could get, which was still more than he thought he would get up until few weeks before – and less that he would get in few weeks, or months

– or years, or whatever time it takes you to get there… Love. I love you. I love you so so so much.

Luke felt soaked into Noah’s sweat and it felt a lot like dipping into Noah’s love. When they pulled back he was breathless – and eager for more – and happy -- and all those things were routine when it came to Noah’s touch.

Luke brushed his nose over Noah’s in an Eskimo-kiss style and kept his eyes closed, reveling in what they had – which never failed to blow him away.

Forehead-to-forehead, Noah’s chuckle filled his ears with relief and delight. “Are you as frustrated as me?”

Luke grinned. You and me both, Baby. “Probably.” He breathed in again but it didn’t help steady his heartbeat, considering that Noah was still so close. “But just think of how awesome it’s going to be when we finally get there.”

It’ll be great.

God, I can’t even begin to think how it’ll be to be yours again.

“We’ll get there.” Noah stated as if it was his own assumption, and Luke needed to be convinced.

Luke smiled and palmed Noah’s cheeks while still keeping so close they were breathing the same air. “We are getting closer, Love. We’ll get there. I promise.”

Eventually Luke gave in to the soreness in his limbs and pulled to his feet, holding his hand out to help Noah stand up too. “Let’s go to bed.”

Noah smiled and Luke preceded him to the bedroom, feeling his piercing gaze on his own bare back all the time.

He bent to recover his shirt and groaned when Noah bumped into him and bowed to grab his wrist. “No shirts.”

Luke tried to ignore the proximity and the gravelly sound of Noah’s voice a little too close to his ear for Luke’s own sake. Stay cool. One step at a time. He managed to smile – mouth and cheeks and eyes glimmering with faith. “No shirts it is.”

Luke hauled himself on the bed and sighed contentedly as Noah settled in the cage of his arm – safe – loved.

His heart raced up with the thought he’d been having just before Noah literally threw his want in his face. You’re mine. Not his. Mine.

He dipped his chin to kiss the top of Noah’s head, smiling. Not there. Not yet. “We can just call it foreplay.”

“That’s stretching for a silver-lining, Babe.” He felt Noah smile as well and his boyfriend’s hands run confidently across his hips.

God, Noah… “Nuclear foreplay.” He persevered, fairly amused.

Noah caved in, spoiling the fun. “I love you.”

Luke pecked his forehead and smiled. My own private star. Luke felt thankful, like he did every single night and morning since he got Noah back.

Forever.

“I love you, too.”

TBC

Long Road Home - Chapter 11

flytalian — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:59:12 CDT

Title: Long Road Home
Author: Salianne
Chapter: 10/?
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Genre: AU
Summary/Warnings: READ HERE (essential to understand the structure of the story!)

Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

I'm incredibly sorry that I barely have the time to reply to your comments, guys! =( I'll get there, I promise!

He could hear them.

He could hear them and he now understood completely what is meant by ‘mixed emotions.’

The sounds of a house full of Snyders and people who have been deemed honorary-Snyders - talking and teasing and laughing...felt more like home than he thought it should. It also felt like he would never fit. He would never be like them. He would ALWAYS be too damaged to EVER be good enough to become honorary anything. He had been injected with darkness.

He had the scars to prove it.

He had been branded.

His own Scarlet Letter.

“You ready?” Luke’s voice was supportive, but at the same time said that the time is now - time to take life back and become something else.

Noah wasn’t sure he knew how to do that, though. He turned to face the man standing behind him. Luke’s face gave away his anxiety, even though he was obviously trying hard to appear unfazed by the giant step Noah was about to take.

“Starla just got here.” Luke stepped closer. “I think she would feel better if you were down there with her.”

He felt Luke’s warmth surround him as he stood close enough to rest a palm on his hip. He couldn’t remember how it happened that Starla was invited to join the BBQ - but he couldn’t deny that there was something about it that felt right. The whole clan agreed to a background check so she could attend - something about that made Noah feel safe in the warmth of the Snyder-family-fold.

Besides, he could focus his attention on making Starla comfortable. The distraction would be good.

Oh right - it was Casey’s idea. Turns out the bastard was an outstanding therapist and it wasn’t lost on Noah that he had become one of Casey’s pet projects.

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” Noah said with what he hoped was a genuine smile.

Luke gripped his hip harder and smiled too. “So you’re not ready at all?”

Apparently he needed to work on the genuine-part.

He was surprised by the force behind the breath he exhaled. Luke always knew how to peg him in a way that was both comforting and affirming. “Not even close to ready.”

Luke pulled their bodies flush and kissed him softly beneath his chin. “Emma used to tell me that there are some things you can’t prepare for. She said those were the things that shifted your soul in all the right ways. She said the only way to approach them was head on.”

Luke’s face was so close - so beautiful - so he kissed him just because he could. He closed his eyes to hide the swelling of emotion that the simple gesture always caused. “I think I would rather hide under Emma’s quilt.”

Luke’s arms tightened around him and his slightly-chapped lips honored him with another kiss. “They are all here because they love you so much, Noah. They’ve missed you. I won’t lie - you’ll be the center of the storm of Synder-Love at first...but then it’ll calm down and you’ll get a little space. If it gets to be too much - you just sneak up here - no one will bother you in here.”

He wondered if Luke had always been able to read him so well. Was this one of those things he failed to appreciate? He couldn’t stop himself from grabbing a hand full of soft, blonde-ish hair. “You’ll bother me in here - right?”

The kiss that followed was a bit breathless and hinted at all the things he wanted to do with the man in his arms - things he was desperate for actually. He was just still trying to figure out how to get there without bringing the darkness with him. But this - the kissing, the tongues, the fingers clawing at scalp and skin - this was what reassured him that he COULD get there....eventually.

He felt something new - smugness - when he pulled back and saw the condition in which he had left his boyfriend. Luke looked like he needed a minute to come back down to earth. I did that to him.

“I’ll definitely bother you in here if you’ll keep kissing me like that.” Luke panted a little as he spoke through a ****-eating grin with his eyes closed.

That emotional swell became almost too much at the sight of him. He swallowed the boulder that had lodged at the base of his throat. “Deal.”

With their fingers laced together, they walked through the door at the bottom of the stairs. He felt tethered in a good way - like the grip from Luke’s hand kept him tied to his safe place.

He heard murmurs and chuckles that immediately stopped the second the door creaked to announce that the guest of honor was entering the room.

The silence was a heavy burden.

He tightened his grip on Luke’s fingers. Luke squeezed back and pulled him through the door. Once his foot landed on the solid floor of the kitchen the noise was back and louder than ever. There was a chorus of voices that were all saying his name mixed with longing and promise.

There were hands everywhere - all of them reaching to touch.

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

He felt himself swaying on his feet.

He felt Luke’s fingers leave his own, which caused him to panic until he felt Luke’s strong arm around his waist - holding him up. Luke pulled Noah flush, so their bodies were touching from knees to shoulders. Luke’s arms were wrapped tightly around him. Something about that - the familiar feel of Luke’s solid mass, his heat, his smell - kept him from fleeing the innocent touches of the people he never stopped wishing could be his own. They all took turns reassuring themselves that he was real - with hugs and caresses and soothing words spoken into the skin of his neck and face - and Luke never let go.

He was getting better at paying attention to all the ways in which Luke took care of him.

Once they all seemed satisfied that he was, indeed, real – Noah was given the space to observe from a much safer distance. He sat in the wing chair that sat in the corner of the small sitting room. He figured he would be safe from having to sit next to people there.

He tried to keep up with the questions and conversations and silly bickering that he remembered so fondly from before and he paid attention to every, single detail.

He expected to see pity in their eyes, but instead he saw admiration. He expected them to be careful with him, but instead they were playful and warm.

He certainly didn’t expect candor.

“Did you miss me?” Natalie asked as if he had been on an extended vacation rather than held in a bunker against his will. He hadn’t even noticed that she had wandered into his personal space.

Did they tell her? “Of course I missed you.” He said as she took it upon herself to sit on his lap. Well, hell, the chair in the corner didn’t really work.

“I just didn’t know – I mean I would imagine you were trying to escape all the time, so maybe – I don’t know – maybe you didn’t really think about me all that much…”

His heart couldn’t take it, he had to interrupt her. “I thought about you all the time, Nat. Every day. And I missed you. I missed all of you…”

“I missed you too.” She said as she rested her head on his shoulder. “We all missed you…” She then whispered in his neck. “…but, I missed you the most.”

Noah couldn’t stop himself from snaking an arm around her small waist. He thought she was still so small for being 11-years-old now. He leaned into her ear and whispered back. “You and I always had a special thing – didn’t we?"

He could feel her nodding shyly against his shoulder and he pulled her closer and sighed. He looked up and Faith was watching him. She had a bit of a smirk on her face. “I thought I was your favorite…”

“Aren’t you too old to compete with your little sister?” He asked playfully before he winked. “What happened to you?” Ethan was suddenly standing behind him, tucked into the small space between the back of the chair and the corner of the room, touching the half-moon of burn scar peeking out from Noah’s collar.

“Accident.” He felt himself breaking into a sweat.

Why is everything going so fast?

“What kind of accident?”

Swarming….they’re ******* swarming…it’s a Snyder Swarm...

“Hey, E.” Luke called from the kitchen. “You should show Noah your dirt bike. Dad said you brought it.”

Ethan squealed. “Yeah!! I did!! You want to see it, Noah?”

“Heck ya! I’ll meet you outside in a sec.” Noah masked his near panic attack.

“I’ll come too!” Nat said as she jumped off of his lap and ran behind her little brother.

Noah looked at Luke from across the room and hoped he could understand how grateful he was for his quick thinking. He stood from the chair that was meant to serve as a protective shield – which he learned had no power against the Snyder-clan and walked toward the kitchen door. As he passed his boyfriend he brushed his fingers across the skin of his arm. “You coming, too?”

Luke looked deeply into his eyes as if he were doing an emotional wellness check. “Yeah.” Luke wove their fingers together as they walked through the side door. He squeezed supportively. “You hanging in there?”

“Yep.” And he meant it. “Isn’t Ethan a little young for a dirt bike?”

Luke laughed and the sound of it melted a little more of the tension. “Don’t tell him that. He’s almost seven!”

Noah lowered his voice and leaned into Luke a little. “F'uck, Luke. I’ve missed so much...”

“You’ll catch up.” Luke reassured before he pressed a quick kiss on Noah’s lips. “You will. I promise.” As the door semi-slammed behind them Noah noticed Starla standing with Nat and Ethan at the tailgate of Holden’s truck. Ethan was excitedly explaining the details of his new Razor MX350 Dirt Rocket. Both girls looked bored with him, but very interested in the bike.

“Hey, Starla. Luke told me you were here - where ya been hiding?” Noah asked his young charge. After a week of working with her and the horses, he still felt like he knew nothing about her.

Starla looked at her feet. “Casey gave me some apples for the horses.” He bent over a little, hands on his knees, so he was more on her level. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to those horses, Super Star.”

That was usually all it took to get a smile on her sweet face. The one and only thing he had learned about this shy child was that she was as sponge for any kind of special attention. She loved the pet-name Noah had started calling her on her second morning - so he called her Super Star every chance he got - just to see that smile. “I bet your Esther was happy to see you.”

“You got new horses?” Ethan almost demanded from Luke.

Noah recognized the jealous tone. He had heard a lot of it over the week he spent with a stable full of kids. He watched Luke swallow a smirk before he answered his brother.

“Yeah, E. Casey and I are working with Starla and a few other kids to rehabilitate some abandoned horses.”

My boyfriend is brilliant.

“Esther?” Nat demanded information.

Noah shared a smug smile with his boyfriend. “Yeah, Nat. Esther means star - and Starla’s been helping with her rehabilitation. I think it was fate that brought Esther here...” Noah winked at Starla, “...like the Stars aligning in the universe, huh Super Star?”

“Can we help?” Nat asked as she jumped in front of her brother.

Luke grinned at Noah before he answered. “I don’t know.” Luke sat on his tailgate and looked at Starla. “What do you think, Star?”

She looked surprised. “Um...”

My boyfriend is beyond brilliant. “Maybe you could introduce them to the horses, Super Star - see how they react to new people.”

“O.K.” She said apprehensively.

“We’ve been around horses before.” Nat assured her. “We’ve just never habitulated them before.”

“Rehabilitated.” Luke corrected.

“Whatever.” Nat sassed back before she grabbed Starla by the hand and pulled her toward the stables. “Come on Starla.”

Ethan hopped from the truck bed - his new dirt bike all but forgotten. “Wait for me!”

“We’ll be there in a few minutes, Star.” Luke reassured the shy girl as she nervously allowed Nat to lead her toward the stables. He turned to face Noah and spoke softly. “Something tells me she’s never had a little girlfriend before.”

“Something tells me she’s never had a lot of things before.” He looked at his boyfriend and couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed with some indescribable and surprisingly good feeling. “You’re really good with kids.”

“So are you.” Luke pulled Noah into a warm embrace. “How are you holding up?”

He buried his face into Luke’s neck. “I’m actually enjoying the Snyder-Invasion.”

He could feel Luke smiling against his ear. “I hope you still feel that way after Mom and Faith force a giant plate of raw meat into your had and point you toward the grill.”

He couldn’t stop the chuckle from escaping. “Is that some bizarre secret-Snyder-trauma-reduction-strategy?”

“Something like that.” Luke kissed his temple. “We should check on the kids.”

“Hey.” He pulled Luke closer before letting go. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Luke mumbled into his lips.

~*~
He had had a great day. He felt a sense of belonging that he hadn’t felt since the last time he spent a day with every person related or quasi-related to Luke Snyder. So long ago.

He thinks this is what ‘basking in the glow’ feels like.

He sat on the edge of their bed - our bed - and listened to the sounds of Luke preparing for bed floating from the opened bathroom door. He had become so familiar with Luke’s bedtime ritual that he knew by the sounds what he was doing and what would come next. Face, floss, brush, rinse, gargle, rinse again before admiring his pearly-whites in the mirror. Something about this familiarity caused Noah’s eyes to well up.

Just in time for Luke to walk in and notice. “What’s wrong, Love?”

He felt arms wrapped around him before Luke had finished speaking. I want you and don’t know how to get you. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You sure?” Luke asked with doubt clearly underneath the lightness he projected. Luke leaned over enough to allow Noah access to his neck.

He nuzzled into Luke’s offering and kissed him before nodding and humming his answer without words. He just wanted to feel Luke. He wanted to feel the heat of this man who loved him enough to trust that he wasn’t damaged beyond repair. Loved him enough to stand in the space between his legs and hold him close.

Loved him enough to WANT him after he had been used up and contaminated.

Luke loves me.

He sucked on Luke’s skin just below his ear and whispered the words that he felt - that also shamed him in a way that he didn’t understand completely.

“I want you so much.”

He hated how shaky and small his voice sounded. Who wants to f'uck a *****?

“God, Noah, that feels good.” Luke replied in a voice that was shaky for a much different reason. “I want you too. So much.”

God.

He dipped his fingers beneath the soft cotton of Luke’s plain-white t-shirt. His skin was hot and Noah wanted to feel that heat all over. He pressed his palms flat against Luke’s back and pulled him closer as he stood up so they were touching from head to toe. The only thing between them was a couple of layers of the very thin cotton in which they usually slept - at Noah’s request of course.

I want more.

He slowly pushed Luke’s t-shirt higher and higher until it was bunched up underneath his armpits.

I want more.

He released Luke’s shirt from his fists and quickly took his own shirt of before he pulled Luke’s over his head and slid one arm around his waist to pull them flush. He heard the sound of a grateful moans escape both of them at the same time and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling into Luke’s perfect, minty mouth. His lips parted as they pressed into Luke’s, causing their tongues to tangle in the space created between freshly brushed teeth. Noah felt his fingers sink into Luke’s soft hair at the same time that his other hand skimmed along the expose flesh of Luke’s back.

Feels so good.

Luke’s hands were finally touching him. Fingers that were both work-rough and seductively-gentle danced along the skin that covered his chest and ribs until they reached the top of his draw-string sleep pants. That’s when he felt the trail of fire left by Luke’s fingers curve around his waist and reverse the dance starting at the small of his back and sliding slowly up his spine. He felt Luke hesitate at each raised, round mound of branded flesh that would mark him for the rest of his life - a reminder that he belonged to someone else first.

He suddenly couldn’t breathe.

He untangled himself from Luke’s body and pushed him away - the sound of their mouths disconnecting was loud in the air. “Stop!”

Luke’s eyes were wide with what looked like a mixture of confusion and frustration and fear.

He hated that he couldn’t do what he wanted so badly to do. He hated that no matter how dead Brick’s was he would always possess him. He would always own him.

Bricks made sure he would never forget.

Bricks made sure he would never feel good enough.

“I...I’m...I can’t...” He couldn’t even explain himself, so he just bolted into the bathroom and locked himself in.

F'uck.

“Noah?”

F'uck. He heard Luke’s concerned voice on the other side of the door. “Just...I can’t...just go away.”

“Noah, please let me in.” Luke was begging.

He sounds sad. F'uck.

“Luke. Please.” He begged too.

He heard the soft thump of Luke’s head hitting the door. “Please, Noah. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. It won’t happen again - just let me in.”

That was all he needed to hear. He had the door open before Luke finished his sentence. He grabbed Luke’s neck and pulled him into his arms and held him hard against his still shirtless body. “Shut. Up.”

Luke’s voice gushed against Noah’s shoulder, “Noah...”

“No.” He interrupted. He couldn’t stand to hear Luke regret anything ever again. “Never apologize for loving me, Luke.”

“Noah...”

“Luke please. No. I want you. I’m the one who’s sorry. I want you so f'ucking much and I can’t get there...I can’t find you...it’s like I get so close and then he’s there....holding me down and laughing at me and keeping you at arms length...I just....f'uck...he f'ucking branded me!!!”

He could feel his tears streaming down his cheeks into Luke’s hair.

“Noah...” Luke pulled back a little so he could look into Noah’s eyes. “...look at us, Love.”

“Luke...”

“No. You shut up now.” Luke smiled. “Look at us. Do you realize this is the first time since that hotel room the night I found you that we have been skin to skin?”

That’s true.

“It’s progress, Noah.” Luke gently ran his fingers along the curves of Noah’s chest. “This....” He spoke as his thumbs brushed across nipples and smiled when Noah shivered in all the right ways. “...is huge progress.”

"What if I never...”

“You will.” Luke said it like there was no other answer.

“I want you so much...” How can you want me?

“Turn around.” Luke asked gently.

“I...what...you can’t...Luke...” You’ll never want me if you see.

“I’ve already seen them, Noah. And I’m still here.”

How the f'uck do you do that?

“Do you trust me, Noah?”

He saw Luke’s eyes pleading for cooperation. “Of course I trust you, Baby. More than anyone. But...”

“Then turn around.” Luke asked again. “Please.”

Why am I doing this? He took a deep breath and slowly turned until he was facing the sink. He gripped the counter so hard his knuckles turned white. He looked at Luke through the mirror as Luke stood, looking into his eyes while standing behind him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him, even as his vision blurred from the tears that he could no longer control. He had never felt so completely vulnerable and so completely safe at the same time. The combination was unsettling.

Luke never stopped looking into his eyes through the mirror, even as he spoke with a tone that dripped with unconditional love. “I want you too, Noah. I am standing here - inches away from your bare back - and I still want you so ******* much. Maybe even more. You know why?”

He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t look at himself either - his eyes were glued to the man speaking behind him. He was sure that if he could face himself in the mirror he would see a hideous disaster of tears and snot and splotchy skin.

“You’re beautiful, Noah.”

How does he f'ucking DO that?

He watched Luke step closer and he lost the eye-to-eye connection right before he felt Luke’s breath against the back of his neck. “Every mark on your skin reminds me of how strong you are. You aren’t branded, Love. You survived something horrifying. You are here and you are whole and I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

He felt Luke’s fingers trace along the surface of his skin - soft, gentle, soothing...sure.

“I know it doesn’t feel like it yet - but you are strong Noah. Each one of these beautiful marks on your gorgeous skin tells me that you’re here and alive.” Luke kissed the scar at the top of his neck. “You’re strong, Noah.” He kissed the three scars that lined Noah’s left shoulder. “You’re kind.” He kissed a series scars that crossed diagonally across Noah’s back. “You’re loving (kiss) and lovable (kiss) and touchable (kiss) and amazing in every way (kiss, kiss, kiss).” Luke dropped to his knees, gripping the back of Noah’s thighs as he kissed four scars that lined the small of Noah’s back. “You’re worthy (kiss) and desirable (kiss) and pure (kiss) and everything I want (kiss) and need (kiss)...”

Every word and every touch of chapped-lips to shameful-flesh caused Noah’s pulse to race and his breath to hitch between the gut-wrenching sobs that he could no more control than the heat building in his balls. By the time Luke kissed the last of the scars that weren’t covered by cotton, Noah’s body was sending an overwhelmingly confusing swirl of sensations.

Lust and love mixed with the shame he felt he would never escape.

He spun around to face the man who made his heart beat faster and found himself breathless at the sight of Luke on his knees - his face now less than an inch from the obvious arousal hidden beneath thin cotton. The shame chased him - faster and faster and faster. He stood frozen - his eyes darting between Luke’s reddening face and his own growing erection.

Words escaped him.

He felt Luke’s hands squeezing his thighs. He saw Luke’s eyes shift from golden to chocolate. He saw Luke’s breathing shift into a messy, unsteady panting. He felt the heat from Luke’s words float through the thin barrier as he spoke.

“I...f'uck Noah. I can smell you. I want you and I can f'ucking smell how much you want me, too.”

He couldn’t control himself - his hands found their way to Luke’s head - fingers buried into the light strands. He wanted more. He wanted everything, but for right now he just want to feel those lips on him - sucking him. He wanted to feel Luke licking and sucking and swallowing and...I want to feel it...I want...what Bricks...that he never....

Is that me who’s shaking?

“Noah...” Luke whispered as his head gently thumped against Noah’s hip. “...I want...f'uck...”

No matter how hard he tried - he could stop his body from quaking...

...or his **** from throbbing...

...or shame from cascading through him like hot lava.

And he couldn’t let go of the grip he had on Luke’s hair.

Oh god.

He felt Luke roll his head until his face was buried in his crotch. Luke took a deep lung full of musk-scented air and held his breath before he finally spoke with a very shaky voice. “When you’re ready...when WE’RE ready...I’m going to...god...you smell so f'ucking good...”

He couldn’t take his fingers from the hair that tied him to the world where shame wasn’t part of the equation. He curled his fingers around the curve of Luke’s skull and dropped to his knees. He felt hard, heat against his belly and the discomfort was somehow grounding him to the real that Luke was trying to wrap around him like a forcefield. He held onto Luke’s hair and felt Luke’s arms and legs try to wrap around him as best they could in the small space between the sink and the wall. He tilted Luke’s head to an angle that ensured the most exquisite fit of lips-to-lips and sought to satisfy his blinding need to feel the hot, wet heat of Luke’s - everything - through a deep, hard kiss. Each stroke of tongue-to-tongue calmed the beast called Shame and brought him back to the real and the safe and the unconditional place where Noah could feel more sure that soon he would have more.

Soon he would have everything.

With Luke.

And give everything.

To Luke.

But for now he held onto the soft strands of hair and lingered on the close-to-perfect-kiss a bit longer than his stuffy nose thought practical for the sake of breathing and felt the shame and frustration fade into grateful triumph that they made it a little bit farther.

Because Luke made it O.K. to take baby-steps. And he was grateful for that too.

After taking a much needed gulp of air, he rested his forehead on Luke’s and chuckled. “Are you as frustrated as me?”

“Probably.” Luke’s eyes were closed as he smiled and caught his breath. “But just think of how awesome it’s going to be when we finally get there.”

“We’ll get there.” Noah tried to sound confident.

Luke cupped his hands around Noah’s cheeks. “We are getting closer, Love. We’ll get there. I promise.”

Luke untangled himself and stood. He offered his hand to Noah to help him unfold himself and join him in a standing position. “Let's go to bed.”

They walked toward the bed and when he saw Luke pick his shirt off of the floor he grabbed his wrist. “No shirts.”

Luke looked at him - a hopeful glint in his eyes. “No shirts it is.”

After crawling into their bed, he pulled Luke close - burying his face in the bare skin and fine hair of Luke’s chest. He felt exhausted and hoped for both their sakes that the emotional roller coaster they had just ridden together would keep his nightmares at bay for at least one night.

“We can just call it foreplay.”

He smiled into Luke’s chest. “That’s stretching for a silver-lining, Babe.”

“Nuclear foreplay.” Luke insisted.

He breathed in gratefully. “I love you.”

Luke’s lips brushed against his forehead. “I love you, too.”

TBC

PULSE ~ parts I, J, &K

september25 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:35:43 CDT

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PULSE
Part- i
Written by •·.·´¯`·.·•september•·.·´¯`·.·•

Warning/Rating For It All: R - A.U. - O.O.C. - fluff

Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and storyline/plot are the property of september(25). No copyright infringement is intended

Just a review of the past chapters.....

Noah is an accountant at his parents casino. He lives alone in an apartment. Friends are Dakota (dark brown hair/blue eyes) who is a male emergency room nurse. Nate (black hair/blue eyes) is bisexual. He works as a blackjack dealer at the casino. He got Jenny's number at Denny's. Nate and Dakota live together.

Morgan is Noah’s ex-boyfriend who is married and has children. He was Noah's 'first'.

Luke is a veterinarian and lives alone. He and Noah met at 'Pulse' and are planning to meet for a date tonight. His best friend is Tucker (brown hair/blue eyes) a pharmacist, who was his 'first' and have remained good friends.

Tucker and Dakota met at 'Pulse' and had an instant attraction to each other. They got drunk, got tattoos of each other's name on their lower backs and went to the chapel where 'Elvis' preformed a commitment ceremony- which they don't remember.

Mention of Khu (think Brandon Lee the deceased actor) who hangs around 'Pulse' and is sort of a nympho.

The beginning takes place after Luke, Dakota and Tucker crashed at Noah's place. They woke up that afternoon. Luke and Noah have plans to meet and Tucker is supposed to call Dakota.

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After Tucker and Luke left Noah's apartment, Noah drove Dakota home and talked about the night on the way. When they got to the apartment complex, Dakota and Noah noticed that Nate’s car was parked in the lot.

“Maybe he and Jenny will go out tonight. What do you think?” Dakota asked before he opened the car door.

“Maybe.” Noah replied with the same smile he’d been wearing since Luke left his apartment. That love-sick look.

“I better get some rest. Tucker is supposed to call me. I can’t wait! Do you like him Noah? I mean really like him?” Dakota asked for Noah’s approval.

“Luke? Yeaaah... I really like him.” Noah said dreamily, closed his eyes and imagined he could smell him.

Dakota punched Noah’s leg. “I was referring to Tucker... do you like Tucker?”

“Oh,” Noah opened his eyes and glanced at Dakota. “Yea, he’s ok-- I guess.”

“Uh oh, what? Why don’t you like him?” Dakota was afraid. He looked up to Noah in matters such as these.

“Don’t mind me. If you like him, then make a date with him.”

“But you just said-”

“Forget about what I said.”

“No, I want to know why you’re being like this. You don’t like him, do you?” Dakota crossed his arms. “I knew it, you don't trust him. Everyone gets a subsequent date but the loser.”

Noah twisted his body to face Dakota. “You are not a loser. About Tucker.... it’s the fact he went upstairs with Khu.”

“Before I met him.” Dakota wagged a finger at Noah. “He didn’t even know me when he went to that room.”

“That’s just it, he didn’t know Khu either and he went upstairs. What if he’s just out for a good time? What if he doesn’t call? What will you do?”

Dakota was silent. Noah had put every fear he had out into the open.

“I’m sorry Dakota. I didn’t mean to sound harsh. What do I know? You and he talked, you must have a feel for where he’s coming from. Right?” Noah asked, gently touching Dakota’s arm and rubbing it.

“I better head in and get some more rest. My mind is a mess right now.” Dakota forced a smile and got out of Noah’s car.

Nate was indeed home, but he was asleep on the couch in the living room. Dakota crept by him, turned off the tv and went to his bedroom where he stripped and got into bed. He reached behind himself and felt the red swollen area of his tattoo and smiled. He wished he could remember last night and decided that if he fell asleep now that he was sober, he might have dreams about it that he could piece together. He closed his eyes and sighed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Noah drove back home after dropping Dakota off. He was anxious about seeing Luke again. “Luke. Luke. What an awesome name!” Noah shouted giddily in his car. “He’s so cool! So Hot! Interesting and outgoing. Morgan can go to hell. Now I know what it’s like to have a conversation with someone and not have it be all about sex. I have a feeling we’re going to get along famously now. This is great!” Noah yelled loudly and turned up his radio to sing with the music.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tucker went right to bed after Luke dropped him off too. He fell into a dreamless sleep. Luke lived in the same apartment complex, but in a different building. He went to his place, took a shower and went to bed as well. He wanted to be rested up for tonight. As he lay smiling in bed, he thought back on last night and today. He’d never met someone quite like Noah before. Someone so arrogant, yet adoring and attentive, not to mention quite handsome. They had their ‘arguments’, but they worked them out every time, which was a big plus. Luke didn’t go to ‘Pulse’ intending to pick someone up or get lucky, but that’s what happened, and he felt very lucky- although, he had some reservations at first about Noah’s ex, Morgan. Noah did say he was over him and only time would tell if he really was. Luke turned on his side, pulling his legs up a little and fell asleep shortly afterwards.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dakota let out a loud roar and rolled over in his bed, then rose excitedly to take his shower. Much later, he was walking through his apartment, smoothing a wrinkle on the bed and rearranging the magazines on the coffee table. He’d been cleaning the last two hours, just in case Tucker wanted to come over. He tried to relax by watching the animal planet channel, but he couldn’t sit still. He couldn’t stop looking at the clock.

Why hasn’t he called yet? This is getting ridiculous! He said he was going to call! Dakota bit his nails to the quick.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Instinctively, Tucker awoke; sitting up in bed quickly with the feeling that he’d forgotten something. He looked around his bedroom and yawned, deciding it was nothing but the urge to use the toilet. He swung his legs over the bed and stood up, scratching his lower back.

“Oh yea... Dakota.” he grinned, feeling the sore spot where his new tattoo was as he padded to the bathroom.

Tucker made coffee and took it to the living room. He slumped onto the couch and held his cell phone up, searching for Dakota’s number. Once he found it, he pushed the call button.

Dakota stopped, frozen to the spot as he stared at his phone. “Is it him? What if it’s not? Just answer it numb-nuts!” Dakota muttered to himself. He picked it up from the kitchen counter. “Hello?” he asked in a hushed voice. He didn’t want to sound nervous or too excited.

“Helloooo-” Tucker drawled out. “How are you, it’s Tucker.”

“I’m fine.” Dakota replied in a tame voice while looking around his kitchen. He was having a hard time containing how he felt. He wanted to play this calm and cool. What if Noah was right about Tucker just wanting him for sex? No, Tucker and I get along. We talked, we laughed and had hot shower sex. He didn’t have to call... unless it's only to mess around again. No! I won’t think like that!

“Dakota?” Tucker asked unsure. It sure didn’t sound like the Dakota he met. “Ahhh... s'hit. I think the guy I met gave me a wrong number to ditch me. I’m sorry.” Tucker mumbled confusedly.

“Tucker! It’s me, Dakota.” he insisted.

“Really?!” Tucker felt relieved. “Thank god! I thought I’d never see you again! I thought you gave me someone else’s number!” he yelled happily that it wasn’t true. “God you had me going!”

“Sorry.” Dakota snickered.

“So, wanna do something tonight?” Tucker asked and held his breath. He could picture Dakota, naked in the shower at Noah’s apartment. He remembered how slippery and smooth and warm Dakota’s skin was, how tight he felt, how right....

“Like what?” Dakota quelled his instinct to jump up and down and toned down his voice so he didn’t yell enthusiastically.

“Uh, is this really Dakota?” Tucker asked. He still wasn’t convinced. It really wasn’t apparent that this was the same man from last night and earlier today. The one that was so full of life, so excited to see him again, the one that couldn’t keep his hands off him. What was wrong? Yes, he called a little late, ok really late, but he was calling now.

“Yes it’s me.” he answered, his introverted self emerged. Did Tucker call out of pity because he said he would or did he really want to see him again? Dakota really liked Tucker, but they had met under odd circumstances that in any other situation would normally end up as a ‘thanks for a great night, bye’ and they’d never see each other again. It was true they’d left on a good note this morning, however Dakota wondered if it was genuine or forced. For him it was authentic. He’d never missed someone so much during the few hours they’d been apart before. What was Tucker thinking... honestly thinking?

“Soooo, you are the guy I married? What do you look like again- I don’t remember. I hope you’re cute, I don’t date ugly guys.” Tucker held his hand over his mouth to stop from laughing.

“Are you serious?” Dakota asked, pulling his phone away from his ear to look at it for some reason, then he put it back to his ear and answered, “I have blue eyes and dark hair- I’m five-eleven-”

“I’m kidding! I remember how delicious you look, clothed AND unclothed.” Tucker laughed. He soon stopped his laughter and asked quietly to mask the fear in his shaking voice due to the question he was about to ask, “Umm, so.... I have to ask, do you regret last night or this morning?”

“No.” Dakota whispered, “D—Do you?” and held his breath.

“No way. I had too much fun with you.” Tucker said charmingly with relief and vivaciousness in his voice. He’d never felt this alive when he was dating Luke, he had loved Luke, but he didn’t feel THIS way.

“You don’t know that. We were drunk.”

“I know, but I remember the morning and I miss you and I want to see you again. I thought we talked about this in the shower? OH, I get it now! You thought since we had sex that I wouldn’t call and since I was late in calling you, you’re having second thoughts OR you thought I was having second thoughts!” Tucker stood up. “I slept longer than I wanted to, that’s all. I didn’t set an alarm. I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

“No, relieved.” Dakota was in a good mood now.

“Yea?” Tucker asked to make sure.

“Yes.” Dakota grinned into the phone, his body tingling all over.

“Good. So uh, I hate to tell you this, but the tattoo that I got doesn’t say ‘Dakota’.” Tucker sounded really sad.

“What? What does it say?” Dakota asked. He had Tucker’s name on his back, but Tucker didn’t have his name? “Who’s name do you have?”

“It’s the funniest thing. I asked my neighbor, who is Chinese, and he said it was an ancient name that is cursed and shouldn’t be spoken aloud.”

“****, no!” Dakota covered his mouth, surprised.

“Yes! He says the person’s name, if spoken, will cause bad things to happen. The repercussions of even whispering the name are horrendous.

“Wait, do you believe your neighbor?”

“Oh yes! He’s very wise.”

“What is the name-- on your back?”

“I can’t say, or I’ll be cursed.”

Dakota begged with curiosity, “Come on Tucker! You won’t be cursed. Tell me what it is.”

“Nope.” Tucker said with a voice that conveyed he was afraid.

“What’s the damn curse? Zillions of locusts coming for you? A puff of smoke containing a virus that when breathed in will kill you in two hours? What is it? Can’t you see this is stupid?”

“It’s not stupid. He said if I said the name, something would happen.”

“Fine, don’t tell me.”

“I won’t, unless... I can be around you when I say it?” Tucker asked, “Can I come over?”

“Yea. Nate’s gone. I don’t know when he’s coming back. There’s no note. Why don’t I come there? We wouldn’t have to worry about-”

“No, I’ll come there. What’s the address?”

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Noah put on a dark green shirt and a pair of new jeans that he hadn’t worn yet. He checked his reflection and swallowed his fear as he put the finishing touches on his hair. He sprayed it, then arranged some strands of dark hair to lay on his forehead.

He and Luke talked earlier and made plans to have dinner together. He was expecting Luke soon. His excitement ran deeper than wanting to see Luke’s face and body. He wanted to talk to him and really get to know him. He was such an interesting person from what he could gather and Luke seemed just as interested in him.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Luke too had showered, dressed and fixed his hair. He scooped up his keys from the bowl near the front door and walked to his car. As he drove to Noah’s, he wondered if he should have dressed up more than he had. He and Noah hadn’t discussed where they were going. Instead, Noah said it would be a surprise. He looked down at his tight dark jeans and a partially unbuttoned, dark blue shirt and decided that it wasn’t very formal for dinner.

“Oh well, if I’m under-dressed, I can go home and change before we go out to eat.” Luke said to himself as he drove to Noah’s apartment. He sang to the radio which always relaxed him, but the drive wasn’t long enough- he was still nervous as he knocked on Noah’s door. He could hear sexy, cool jazz music coming from under the door. This particular song filled his core and possessed him with amorous feelings and delight.

Abruptly, the door was opened in a hurried way. “Hi Luke.” Noah grinned, looking at his date up and down, then stopped on the color of his eyes. Were they more green than brown since he saw him or had he just now noticed that fact? “You look great.”

“I’m not dressed very formal. Is this ok?” Luke asked, his eyebrows raised, wanting his approval.

“It’s perfect. Come in.” Noah said with a smile and backed out of the doorway. “Would you like some wine?”

“That sounds great.” Luke answered following Noah to the kitchen where he saw plenty of dishes, and not only that, the dining room table had been set for two. “Are we eating in?”

“Yes, is that ok? I decided that I wanted to talk to you and it’s definitely private here. Are you disappointed?” Noah asked, pouring a glass of German Eiswein.

“Not at all. I love a man that can cook.” Luke smiled, taking the glass of wine from Noah and sipping it. “Nice. I like it.”

“I like the sweeter wines.” Noah added, looking into his glass as he swirled the wine carefully.

Luke set his glass on the counter and neared Noah. He paused, then kissed the brunette’s cheek. “That’s a proper hello.” he smiled shyly.

Noah was shocked. “Er, thank you.”

Luke chuckled. “Noah, we slept together. A kiss shouldn’t make you blush, but it’s very cute.”

“Look who’s talking.” Noah pointed out, “You’re as red as the meat sauce I made.”

“Go on.” Luke flicked his wrist at Noah and picked up his wine glass. “You’d think we would be more comfortable around each other.”

“One would think so.” Noah said, finishing his wine. “Dinner is ready if you want to eat now.”

“I’m starved. The last time I ate was at Denny’s and I never got to finish it. SOMEONE said I was harassing him and his friends.” Luke teased with laughter in the tone of his voice.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Noah pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “You’re nuts.”

“Heh...” Luke let out a short laugh. “And you’re gorgeous.” he said, watching Noah take the pan of manicotti out of the oven. His a'ss was so grab-able, pinch-able, bite-able. Luke heard Noah clear his throat when he saw the look on his face and smiled to himself.

“Why don’t you have a seat at the table. Oh, grab the bottle of wine for me, will you?”

“Sure.” Luke nodded.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Luke drank the last of his wine and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I have to say Noah, that was better than any restaurant we could have went to. You’re a very good cook.”

Noah poured another glass of wine for Luke, stating appreciatively, “Thank you, but credit goes to my parent’s chef at the casino. In addition to being known for the gambling, most people come for the food. I have all the recipes that make up the buffet.”

“You executed it very well.” Luke said proudly and clinked his glass against Noah’s.

“Ready for dessert?” Noah asked, rising halfway out of his chair before Luke asked in a heated whisper, “In the bedroom?”

“No. I made dessert.” Noah met Luke’s desire filled eyes.

“Let’s save your dessert for after the bedroom dessert.” Luke suggested, standing up and walking to Noah. He wrapped his arms around Noah’s neck and neared his mouth.

“I-- I think we should slow it down.” Noah stated. “We can’t base the beginning of our.... whatever we are, on sex. I want to talk and really get to know you better before we decide to have sex again.”

“We can’t go backwards Noah. We’ve done it twice already. Why stop?” Luke questioned as he backed away, a frown on his face. “I don’t get you. You make this romantic meal, fill me with wine and dress all sexy for me, but you’d rather talk?”

“Yes.” Noah answered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are we going to fight again, cause I’m not in the mood.”

“You’re not in the mood for something else as well. Tell me, why were you in the mood twice this morning and all the sudden you have a conscious and morals?”

Noah sighed, exasperatedly. “Maybe we aren’t compatible after all.” he muttered, clearing off the table.

Luke stood in the dining room, shaking his head, wondering why Noah wasn’t interested. Was it just because he wanted to go to the bedroom? What was wrong with that? At least he was honest about his desire. We talked about my family, his family and everything else this morning and during dinner. What’s left to talk about? I am confused! I guess I should go- he’s not interested, d'amn. Luke thought sadly.

Noah was in the kitchen thinking as well. Why don’t I want to go to the bedroom? I’m being such a jerk, but I don’t want what we have or will have to be just about sex. I want to take things slowly and progress into something more meaningful. That’s it! That’s what I wanted to say to him... what the hell was that?

Noah had heard the front door slam shut. He looked around for Luke and gathered that he’d left. Noah’s mouth dropped open. “I blew it!” he said aloud to himself and ran from the apartment to the parking lot to stop Luke from leaving so he could explain.

He saw Luke’s car backing out of the stall where he’d parked and jogged to it. He banged on the driver’s window.

Luke put the car in park and pressed a button to lower the window. “I’m heading home. What do you want?” Luke said with no emotion in his voice, staring straight ahead.

“Are you seriously pouting because I won’t sleep with you? Do you know how childish that is?” Noah said, his anger rising. “Am I just sex to you?”

Now Luke looked at him with disbelief on his face. “How dare you! You are rude and crude. I don’t know what I saw in you. I was merely making a suggestion buddy!” He put the car in reverse and slowly backed up.

Noah followed the car. “Look, let’s talk.”

“I think you’ve insulted me enough. I don’t want to talk.”

“Yea, you don't want to talk, you’d rather have sex.”

Luke slammed on the brakes. He jammed the car into park again and pushed his door open. After he got out, he pushed Noah’s chest. Noah took a step back. Luke yelled, “Don’t talk about me like that! God! You are... you’re... ARR!” Luke tugged at his hair. “I can’t believe you! You know what? I DON”T want to have sex with you! Ever again!”

“Fine!” Noah yelled back. “Go home to your lonely life... or don’t. Go back to ‘Pulse’ and pick up some other guy and get with him!” A slap on Noah’s cheek turned his head. He brought up his hand and held it.

“Ohhh... I’m sorry!” Luke murmured when he saw how astonished Noah was, then he explained, “You went too far. I’m not like that Noah. I’m not... no matter what you believe.” Luke shook his head and got back into his car.

Noah grit his teeth and opened Luke’s car door. He saw tear filled eyes and felt awful, regretful. “Luke-- I’m sorry. You make me crazy and yet, I’m still attracted to you. I’m drawn to you. I don’t want to end the night like this. I want-- I don’t know. I’m not ready to let you walk out of my life.” he said sadly and crouched down, taking Luke’s hand off the steering wheel to hold it.

“Me too.” Luke said in a soft voice. “What can we do but stay away from each other? We fight all the time. I think it’s a sign. I think fate is saying we’re not supposed to be together romantically, but as friends.

“Friends?” Noah asked in a raised voice, holding Luke’s hand tighter. “I want to be friends and more, don’t you? We can work towards something substantial, something concrete. Let’s step away from the situation and think about this rationally.”

Luke sighed heavily with negative thoughts. “It isn’t going to work Noah. Nothing is going to be right between us.”

“It could be if you let go of those thoughts of denial and quit refusing to believe that we can do something about it. We can change.” he smiled and caressed Luke’s cheek.

“You think I want you merely for sex.”

“Sorry, that’s how I felt at the moment. I reacted poorly and said things I shouldn’t have. I wasn’t thinking Luke. Please come back inside. We can sit on the couch and talk or watch a movie and cuddle.”

“You’re not afraid I’ll pounce on you?”

“Well, pouncing is alright.” Noah said. “Making out too, but if it gets too hot and heavy, I may pull back.”

“If you can. I’m pretty irresistible.” Luke grinned crookedly.

“That you are.” Noah motioned to the car. “Park your car, then we’ll go on up.”
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Luke and Noah sat on the couch with the tv on ‘mute’.

“So, you want to keep seeing me? Do you want to start over and date. Exclusively?”

“I’d prefer it that way, but if you want to date other guys while you’re dating me, I’d like to know first.” Noah said, resting his arm across the back of the couch, almost around Luke’s shoulders.

“Ok, so we date only each other and we’re not having sex until the time is right, do I have that correct?” Luke asked, drawing his brows together. He didn’t understand why Noah felt like that, but he’d go along with it.

“Yes.” Noah nodded. “Are you willing to curb your libido?” he teased.

Luke’s eyes drifted from Noah’s sky blue eyes to his luscious lips. He whispered, “Yes. Yes, of course. As much as I can around you.”

“M,m. It’ll be hard.”

“About that, yes... it’s definitely hard.” Luke looked down at his own groin. “You have that effect on me. I’ll have to jack off before we see each other. You don’t want me coming here or going out with you with a loaded gun.”

“You have that effect on me too Luke.” Noah admitted while tracing Luke’s lips with a fingertip. “Like you said, we can make out.”

“No sex, does that include touching you, blow jobs, kissing your body?” Luke’s tongue emerged to lick Noah’s finger.

“Let’s keep it above the waist for now.”

Luke made a face, but he agreed. “Anything you want.” he said as he leaned in to kiss Noah.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Tucker knocked on Dakota’s and Nate’s apartment door- shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for the door to open. Dakota finally answered with a smile on his face. He took Tucker’s hand and pulled him into a scorching, unrestrained kiss. Tucker walked him backwards into the apartment, using his foot to close the door.

After several minutes of tongue wrestling and tantalizing touches, Dakota broke the kiss, but left his hands on Tucker’s a'ss, massaging it. “Well? What does your tattoo really say?” he asked. “We could get it removed you know.”

“I don’t want to say. The curse- ya know?” Tucker smiled, his eyes penetrating Dakota’s blue ones.

“You promised.” Dakota frowned, his mouth turning down as he pouted.

Tucker laid a finger on his own lips as he appeared to be contemplating whether he should say or not. “Uh-Uh. I don’t want to get hurt.” he smiled.

“D'amn you!” Dakota grumbled as he walked away. “You promised.”

“Alright.” Tucker laughed, pulling Dakota back, colliding their bodies together. “It says....” He whispered in Dakota’s ear, then paused.

“Yea?” Dakota asked excitedly.

“It says....”

“Come on.” Dakota pushed his ear to Tucker’s mouth as if he’d be able to hear better. The only thing that it did, was turn him on- hearing Tucker breathe, the hot breath entering his ear, and the tickling feeling of lips on his ear. He waited, holding his breath, feeling Tucker smile against his ear.

“It says....Cuthbert.” he teased.

Dakota backed away with an expression of anger, but he wasn’t mad. Instead, he felt annoyed that Tucker made such a big deal over nothing. “You jackoff!” he said and punched Tucker’s arm hard with a small smile playing on his lips.

“Ow!” Tucker exclaimed rubbing his arm. “See!” He pointed at Dakota. “The curse came true! I DID get hurt!” he laughed.

“You think that hurts?” Dakota pulled Tucker to the couch. He sat down and laid Tucker across his lap, “This is gonna hurt.” and brought his open hand up, then he brought it down, spanking Tucker on the a'ss.

“Ufff” a gasp left Tuckers lungs.

Dakota did it again, then once more. He felt and saw Tucker’s hips wiggle against his legs. He spanked him again, this time feeling the sting on his hand from the force of it.

“Ummmm god” Tucker murmured. No one had ever done this to him and he was enjoying it immensely- to his surprise. He rubbed his groin against Dakota’s legs and let out another rousing moan.

Dakota felt how hard Tucker was. He smiled, convinced that Tucker was enjoying himself. Instead of spanking him again, his hand ran down Tucker’s jean covered thigh, then between his legs to cup his balls.

“Aauuhh” Tucker verbalized, sounding in agony, but far from it. He raised his hips to give Dakota access to his erection. Dakota reached up further and moved his hand, with pressure, over his length and hardness. Tucker hitched his breath, “Ohhh yea... there is an advantage to being married.”

“Not married, in a committed and faithful relationship- according to the paper you have. Do you still have it or did you rip it up?”

“I have it.” Tucker slowly rose off Dakota and sat next to him. He looked down as he unbuttoned his jeans, then unzipped them. “Look what you do to me.” he said, pulling his c'ock out and stroking it.

Dakota’s mouth watered, his tongue licked his lips repeatedly as he watched Tucker getting off. He couldn’t control himself and urgently bent over, taking Tucker’s hard muscle into his mouth.

He tastes so good, so juicy, so hard, so big, so... mine! I have never ever been so in love with a dick before! Delicious. Dakota hummed happily.

Tucker began to buck up and down, breathing hard while running his fingers through Dakota’s soft, dark hair. “Uhmm!” Tucker panted and bucked his hips up with his back arched against the couch. “So good babe. Rrrr” he growled low and long as Dakota continued his mastered skill.

All too soon, Tucker pitched his hips and tensed. Dakota reached under and helped hold him up with a hand pressed to his ass. Tucker’s c'ock twitched several times before Dakota began gulping the smooth, warm release that hit the back of his mouth. He felt Tucker fist his hair tightly, hearing him grunting his pleasure.

Dakota sat up and looked at Tucker, who had his mouth open to breathe. His eyes were closed, relishing his o'rgasm. Dakota thought he looked amazingly handsome. He leaned forward, brought his hand up and drew Tucker’s head closer to receive a sweltering kiss.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
PULSE
Part-J
Written by •·.·´¯`·.·•september•·.·´¯`·.·•

“What do you love about yourself?” He asked, lying naked on his side on their bed- caressing the smooth soft plane of Noah’s chest.

“What?” Noah asked, unsure what he meant or where this conversation was headed.

“What do you love about yourself?” Luke asked again, this time with a sexy smile while he gazed into the depths of Noah’s ocean blue eyes. “It’s not a hard question to answer, is it?”

Noah sighed, “No, I guess not. Let’s see..... hm, what I love about myself.... Ok,” he grinned widely, wrapping his arms tighter around Luke, drawing him nearer. “I love that we’re together.”

“No silly!” Luke tapped Noah’s chest. “Not about us, about yourself.”

Noah lifted Luke’s hand and kissed it. “I love that I graduated college, became a successful acc-”

“No...” Luke laughed deeply. “I didn’t think this was going to be so hard.” He untangled himself from Noah's embrace to sit up, then he reached over the bed and grabbed his boxer briefs to put on. “For instance, what I love about myself is my lips, hair, my arms and my butt.” He snickered, seeing Noah’s expression when he turned to look over his shoulder.

“So you’re talking about looks and not things that are really important like brains and humor? That’s kind of shallow, even for you.” Noah sat up as well, intending to go shower. He was sticky from their lovemaking- being on the bottom had some disadvantages.

“Noah! For god’s sake, I asked a simple question. I didn’t think you’d get all holier than thou and self righteous on me.

“I’m not!” Noah answered, getting frustrated.

Luke didn’t like it when Noah acted this way, as if he was superior and right all the time. It was just a question that he asked for fun, it wasn’t intended to be a serious one or one that depended on a correct answer.

“Yes you are, Noah, and you know it.” Luke said, staring lustfully at Noah’s naked body. He licked his lips and let out an aroused breath.

“I can’t believe you! You only think of me as a body, don’t you? Just an object. You don’t appreciate me for my mind!” Noah rose his voice in defense.

“Where are you getting that from?” Luke asked, meeting the annoyed look on Noah’s face. Ask a simple question and get in a heated argument- Luke thought to himself.

“You’re staring at my body.” Noah said uncomfortably, covering his groin with two hands.

“You are gorgeous Noah. I’m gonna look.” Luke said with lust on his tongue. “You’re body turns me on. Your tight, muscular butt, your thighs when they wrap around my body tightly as if you’re hanging on for your life. The look on your face when you come all over yourself, your hands when they caress me- my face, my body, my dick, when you squeeze my a'ss while you beg for-”

“Enough!” Noah threw his hands in the air. “I don’t want to hear this. I thought you loved me for my intellect more than my body. Am I just a toy for you?”

“Drama much?” Luke chuckled.

“Go to h'ell!” Noah grumbled and left the room. He locked the bathroom door, something he’d never done before and started the shower. I can’t believe him sometimes. Maybe I’m being irrational, but he’s being obnoxious and I’m not in the mood for it. Sometimes he DOES treat me like a piece of meat. Just cause he’s been the top more than a bottom lately doesn’t mean he can be bossy. I have feelings too! What if I held out on him? That’ll teach him not to treat me like a ‘thing’. I’ll ignore him.

Luke walked to the bathroom and put his hand on the knob to open the door. To his surprise it was locked. He banged on the door, calling, “Noah! Open up! Why did you lock me out?” He got no answer and assumed that Noah hadn’t heard him. He went back to the bedroom to get some clean clothes to change into after he took his shower- when Noah got out of the bathroom.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Two days had passed and things weren’t any better. Luke tried to talk to Noah about their disagreement and Noah either walked away or went out for a walk. Noah would talk about anything except that because he felt objectified. Looking back, Luke ALWAYS commented on how good he looked, how his body turned him on, how awesome it felt to **** him. Noah wished Luke would be more considerate and comment on his accomplishments and achievements instead of what happens inside the bedroom, in the living room, in the kitchen and the shower. Oh Luke did say, absentmindedly, that Noah was good at his job, but Noah could see in Luke’s eyes that he’d rather be kissing him or receiving a blow job. Noah was tired of being the so called submissive bottom- although he loved bottoming. He was versatile, as was Luke, but somehow he got roped into being the one who ‘received’ almost every time they made love. It wasn’t always like that. In the beginning, they took turns. Now it seemed that Luke preferred Noah beneath him, and that’s just how Noah felt, beneath him.

Noah loved Luke more than life itself. He proudly introduced him to his co-workers at the casino where he worked as an accountant for his parents, who owned the place. He bragged about how funny, intelligent, and accomplished Luke was. Everyone knew Noah loved Luke.

But Luke wasn’t so sure now. Noah had been very distant. Now it was now the third day after their argument. Luke had tried to seduce Noah when their morning alarm went off. He reached around his lover and kissed his back. Noah lay still as stone. Luke kissed Noah’s shoulders, murmuring words of endearment and things he’d like to do to Noah’s body. Nothing, no reaction. Luke’s hand descended and snuck into Noah’s lounge pants- yes, instead of just wearing boxer briefs to bed, Noah now began wearing these ugly grey and white things. Luke felt how hard Noah was and said so, which prompted Noah to huff, sit up and retreat to the bathroom where he took his shower.

Luke couldn’t figure Noah out. He’d literally told Noah that he loved him and wanted to ****. That he was so turned on by Noah’s tousled hair and sleepy eyes. That his chest looked scrumptious and he wanted to lick it until every inch was glistening with saliva.

Luke pouted and sat up. He scratched his head and bit the inside of his cheek hard, drawing blood and a bump, that when he’d eat and chew, he’d accidentally bite it again, causing it to sting.

He needed Noah back. True, they’d always had a riff between them, but they always made up. What if Noah didn’t want to make up this time?!

When they met at ‘Pulse’, they didn’t get along at all- not like his best friend Tucker and Noah's friend Dakota (his last name, first name Cuthbert) Those two were inseparable. They even had tattoos of each other’s name right above their asses- of course they were drunk at the time, but they didn’t have them removed, nor did they take lightly the fact that they had a commitment ceremony the same night they met- and that had been six months ago. Dakota still lived with Nate and had been anxiously waiting for Tucker to ask him to live with him. Luke knew that Dakota had long talks with Noah about bringing it up to Tucker and that Noah told him to be patient.

Luke got back on track and started thinking about Noah again. He had to do something. He couldn’t live like this anymore. He needed to do something drastic. Something that would wow Noah into his old self. He began planning as he took out clean clothes and his surgical scrubs to change into in case of an animal emergency at the clinic.

Noah unlocked the bathroom door and strode out wearing nothing but a towel. Luke grinned and snatched it away, leaving Noah naked as the day he was born.

“Ah Ha! Gotcha! Thought you could hide from me forever didn’t ya?” Luke laughed, eyeing Noah’s body hungrily, thinking it would be better than any breakfast he’d eat before he went to work. Noah stood there, one hand on his hip and the other outstretched.

“Give it back Luke.” He said without emotion. “Please?”

Luke sighed and tossed it to him. “You’re no fun. Why are you still so ticked off at me? I’m sorry that I love your body. Would you rather say I didn’t like it? Huh?!” Luke pushed past Noah and went into the bathroom.

Noah scowled and went to the bedroom to get dressed. He liked that Luke loved his body, but lately, that’s all he seemed to love him for. Sex- three and sometimes four times a week was a little excessive, wasn’t it? He didn’t know. Morgan, his married ex, wanted it often too. He wondered how Luke would like it if the tables were turned- if he all the sudden became sex driven and went way overboard with amorous glances and touching Luke all the time. He’d probably love it- the little pervert! Noah chuckled.

He knocked on the bathroom door and yelled, “I’m going. See you later!”

The shower turned off. Luke walked to the door wet and naked. He opened it and smiled at Noah. “See you later too.” He leaned forward for a kiss, but like the past three days, Noah turned his head to receive Luke’s lips on his cheek. Noah’s eyes hadn’t even left Luke’s eyes to sneak a peek at his naked body. Luke was frustrated.

“Have a good one.” Noah said, walking to the kitchen for a breakfast bar to eat on the way to the casino.

“What a.... Arrrg!” Luke clenched his teeth and slammed the bathroom door closed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Noah walked into his parent’s casino, seeing the elderly playing penny and nickel slots, well dressed men at the roulette wheel, and a few older gentlemen playing blackjack. He saw Nate dealing and waved. Nate shot him a smile and continued to deal cards. Noah couldn’t figure out the attraction of betting and losing money. The odds of winning were against the customers except for a lucky person now and then.

Noah went to his office in the back and sat at his desk. He had a crap-load of papers he had to go through. Groaning, he put his elbows on the desk and his forehead in the palms of his hands. What am I supposed to do? Luke is being unreasonable... isn’t he? Maybe I am? Am I expecting too much from him? I thought our relationship was based on love and commitment- not just sex. Sex is a part of any relationship, but it shouldn’t be the prime focus- the core that keeps us together. God, I don’t know what to do!

He reached for the phone on his desk and dialed a number.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Noah said, feeling like he was ready to give up. “Are you working, can you talk?”

“I work tonight. What’s wrong?” Dakota asked, hearing the dismal sound in Noah’s voice.

“Ahh, it’s Luke.” Noah sighed, discouraged.

“Ok, like I said, what’s wrong?” Dakota asked again, propping his feet on the end of his couch. He grabbed the remote and turned down the cartoon he was watching.

“Well, it’s like this. All Luke wants me for is sex.” Noah said and heard a belly laugh come from Dakota. “I’m serious. HE doesn’t take ME seriously.”

“Noah, you’re complaining about sex? I haven’t had any in three weeks; since I’m on nights this month.”

“I’m not complaining... exactly. I feel like an object. We used to have meaningful conversations, now all he wants to do is have sex- all the time.”

“You had meaningful conversations because you were getting to know each other. That’s what you do in the beginning of a relationship.” Dakota tried to make Noah see. “I’m sure he thinks more of you than just flesh and bone and a c'ock and a hole.” he softly laughed.

“I knew you wouldn’t take me seriously.” Noah frowned.

“Noah....”

“No, I don’t think anyone understands. I guess I’m being too sensitive about it. I’ll try to get over it. Bye.”

“Noah!”

“What?”

“Have a talk with him.” Dakota suggested.

“Already did. He hasn’t changed... I can’t change him. This is my problem, not his. He is who he is.”

There was silence from Dakota. “Maybe he hears what you say, but he can’t relate to it? You know, he’s not in your shoes so he doesn’t get why you're upset about this.”

“What do you want me to do? Treat him the same way? I can’t do that. I know what it feels like- awful!”

“Then I don’t know what you should do.” Dakota sat up. “Sorry I can’t be of help. Hey! Why don’t you try Tucker? He’s Luke’s best friend. He may have some insight.”

“Yea, that’s a good idea. I’ll try the pharmacy. Bye.” Noah said, hung up and looked in his Rolodex for Tucker’s number.

“East Side Urgent Care Pharmacy, Chelsea speaking. How may I help you?”

“Hello, this is Noah Mayer. I’d like to speak to Tucker Samuelson please.” Noah asked in a kind voice.

“One moment please.” Chelsea said and put Noah on hold.

Noah listened to elevator music for a long time before Tucker finally picked up.

“Sorry Noah, it’s really busy right now. Can this be quick?”

“Well, not really. Are you free for lunch?” Noah asked, crossing his fingers. Dakota was right, who better to talk to than the person who knew Luke the best.

“Yea, sure. How’s 11:30?”

“Good. Come to the casino. I’ll treat you to the all you can eat buffet.” Noah chuckled.

“M,m that sounds good. I’ll be there. Gotta go. Later.”

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Luke ran his fingers along the dogs sable, white and tan colored back to it’s tail. He felt the Collie’s stomach and chest. When he finished that, he checked the dog’s ears, eyes and teeth, listened to it’s heart and looked at the owner.

“She’s pregnant. I’d guess almost two months already.” Luke scratched the forty-five pound dog behind her ears before gently lifting her off the table and setting her on the floor.

“Great.” the man, Mr. Wilson, said with a frown, shoving his wrinkled, calloused hands into the pockets of his overalls. “D'amn neighbor’s mutt did it I tell you. Sadie’s gonna have mutts! How’s I gonna git rid of ‘em?”

“If you don’t want the pups, put an ad in the paper when they’re 8 weeks old.... or give them away to people you know.” Luke suggested. “She’s got a very nice temperament. I’m sure her litter will too.”

“D'amn mutt next door is what done this!” Mr. Wilson said again, angrier this time.

“Yes, well you can’t be sure it's the neighbor's dog until the puppies are born. When you let her roam around on the farm like you do, some stray dog could have come around and had a go.” Luke reasoned with him, or so he thought. “You could get her spayed after her litter is born, then you won’t have to worry about her getting pregnant.”

“You sayin’ this is my fault Snyder?!” Mr. Wilson pointed at Luke accusingly. “This ain’t my fault! I don’t want them pups! Cut ‘em outta my b'itch!”

“What?” Luke asked incredulously. The thought of cutting open a dog to rid her of her pups was disgusting and repulsive.

“Yea! Give her a what ya call it...” he said, snapping his fingers. “Abortion, yea, an abortion. Get them parasites outta her now.”

“Surgery is going to cost you a lot of bucks, besides, I don’t advise it and I don’t condone it. Luke answered. How could this dimwit own a sweetheart of a dog and not be responsible for it? Letting it run loose showed lack of care for her, not to mention, he shouldn’t own a dog at all with his indifferent attitude toward animals.

“I don’t give a d'amn about cost- not my problem anyway! That a'sshole neighbor of mine is gonna pay. He got my b'itch knocked up!”

“I take it you mean his dog knocked up Sadie.” Luke stuffed down a laugh.

“What’re you sayin’?” Mr. Wilson narrowed his eyes at Luke. “You tryin’ to be funny mister?”

“Not at all.” Luke pretended to cough. “Back to Sadie, I think you should take her home, let her have her pups and find good homes for them. It won’t be too hard to do. People love dogs around here.”

“Gonna drown ‘em when she has 'em if ya don’t take ‘em outta her now!” Mr. Wilson threatened.

“Look, Mr. Wilson.” Luke said stiffly, trying to stay calm. “You can’t do that. It’s not humane and not only will killing them land you in jail, Sadie will suffer mental stress if you harm her puppies. She’ll know something happened.”

“Don’t care!” Mr. Wilson declared. “I ain’t lettin’ them mutt pups grow in her! I ain’t doin’ it I tell you!”

Luke looked from Mr. Wilson to Sadie, who was cowering from hearing her owner's menacing voice. “Tell ya what, I’ll take Sadie off your hands. I’ll let her have the pups, then give her back to you once they’re weaned.”

“You crazy boy?!” The sixty-ish man glared at Luke. “This here’s MY b'itch! Got that... an’ I want them godd'amn mutt pups outta her! If’n you don’t do it, I’ll find a way.”

Luke held up his hands, defeatedly. “Ok, Ok,” He winced, but an idea came to him. “I’ll pay you for her. Cash. How much do you want for her?”

Mr. Wilson peered at Luke out of one suspicious eye. “What?”

“I’ll buy her from you.” Luke crossed his arms.

Mr. Wilson looked down at Sadie and scoffed. “You want this b'itch right here?”

“Yes. I’ll take her.” Luke nodded, watching Mr. Wilson poke his tongue in one cheek, then the other. “How much you talkin’?”

Luke shrugged. “A hundred?”

The old man nodded. “Hun’red for the b'itch and a hun’red for each pup too. How many you figure she got?” He scratched his scruffy, bearded cheek.

Luke widened his eyes. “The pups too? Jesus....” he closed his eyes for a second. “She’s probably got three.” he answered conservatively. She could have up to seven.

“Good, you gimme four hun’red cash and you can take her. Don’t want no b'itch with pups.”

“I have to go to the bank.” Luke said, “Can you leave her here and come back around 1pm?”

Mr. Wilson had no reason to distrust Luke. He’d been coming here since Sadie was a puppy. “I reckon I can. Four hun’red, remember.” he said to Luke. Looking down at Sadie, he said, “You were a good b'itch, but I ain’t takin’ care of ya anymore. You’re his problem now.” He looked up at Luke. “Say...” he said thinking and a shifty look in his grey eyes. “you outta waive this bill here for me comin’ in, since she’s your dog and all now.”

Luke turned away angrily and muttered, “Sure Mr. Wilson. Come back at 1pm. I’ll have your money.” He had to keep his composure and professionalism. “I’ll let Debra know you’re free and clear from paying for the visit.”

“Good. See ya at 1pm Snyder.” Mr. Wilson hobbled out the door.

Luke smiled at Sadie and led her to the back room where he put her in a cage. She was a sweet, calm dog and he was happy to have ‘saved’ her. Now how do I tell Noah we have a dog that’s going to have a litter soon? he wondered, looking into Sadie’s dark eyes.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

PULSE
Part-K

Written by •·.·´¯`·.·•september•·.·´¯`·.·•

Noah was standing under the canopy of the casino when he saw Tucker pull into the parking lot and walk toward him.“Tucker!” Noah waved to him.

“Hi!” Tucker jogged to Noah. “How’s it going?”

“I’ll tell you over some bbq ribs and steak fries.” Noah said and walked next to Tucker as they went inside the aromatic restaurant.

Tucker went to the build your own burger station while Noah filled his plate with the best ribs in town. They took their food to Noah’s office so they could talk in private.

“Well?” Tucker asked, the bite he just took of his loaded bacon cheeseburger was pushed into his cheek so Noah could understand him.

Noah licked the fingers of his right hand before he answered. “It’s Luke. I... I was wondering if you could help me out with a problem I’ve been having.”

Tucker set his flame grilled burger down and wiped ketchup, mustard and mayo from his fingers with a napkin. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Noah said, now feeling stupid. Was this something he should discuss or keep to himself.

“You said you have a problem. Are you and Luke having problems? Are you fighting, breaking up....?!” Tucker asked fearfully. He knew Luke was in love with Noah. Very in love and it would break his heart if Luke’s heart got broken.

“Nothing like that. Well, we are fighting, but not breaking up.”

Tucker sat back and let out a whoosh of breath. “Thank G-”

Noah spoke, interrupting Tucker, “It is kind of serious... to me. To Luke... not so much. I tried to talk to him about it and he laughs it off and takes it as a joke.”

“What is it, what’s going on?” Tucker cocked his head.

“Well, it may seem stupid to you...”

“Tell me and I’ll decide for myself.”

“Let me ask you this first.” Noah looked into Tucker’s dark brown eyes. “Was Luke-- all about the sex and your body when you were together?

Tucker chuckled. “What?”

“I’m asking you in all honesty, was he?”

“THIS is what you’re fighting about? Sex?” Tucker rolled his eyes.

Noah explained everything, asked Tucker to promise that he wouldn’t go to Luke and tell him, then he waited for him to say something.

“Ahhhh...” Tucker sighed. “What’s wrong with admiring your body?”

“I knew it. I was overreacting. I just want a little recognition for other things. I guess I’m expecting too much out of my boyfriend.”

“Noah, no you’re not.” Tucker reached across the width of the table and covered Noah’s hand with his. “These are your feelings and you should talk to Luke about them.”

“I have! Like I said, he thinks it’s a joke.”

“Sorry.” Tucker frowned and pulled his hand back. “I don’t know what to tell you. We went at it all the time only because we were each other’s firsts and it was all new and exciting. After a while we didn’t see each other so much because of our schedules. I’m not really sure if we would have kept going as we were, but I’ll tell you one thing I know for sure. He’s not a sex maniac. He’s only been with me and you. If he was into sex that much, he’d be messing around with every guy. Hell, even at ‘Pulse’ he didn’t want to hook up.”

“Yea, but look how that ended. He did hook up.”

“With you.” Tucker stated. “He loves you. What’s so bad about that?”

“Nothing.” Noah looked down, knowing that no one understood how he felt and maybe, he was feeling a little sorry for himself, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the right to feel the way he did. “Thanks for coming over.” he said, looking up.

“I didn’t help much, did I?” Tucker wiped his mouth off and wadded up his napkin.

“I’ll figure something out.”

“I hope so. You could come over tonight if you wanted to talk some more.” Tucker suggested.

“Nah, but I’ll take a raincheck. I’ll work it out on my own.”

“Dakota’s working nights.” Dakota said out of the blue, bit his lip and exclaimed, “God I miss him!”

“Sorry pal. I know it has to be hard.” Noah said, standing up and stacking their empty plates. “I’ve got this. Can you see yourself out?”

“Yea, sure.” Tucker glanced at Noah once more. “Good luck.”

Noah gave Tucker a small smile and a nod. “Take it easy.” he said as Tucker closed his door when he left.

Noah took a seat and spun around twice in his chair, unable to concentrate on accounting or anything relating to money and the casino. His thoughts revolved around Luke. His beautiful and funny boyfriend. I just thought of him as beautiful- objectifying him. I am taking this stupid argument too far, but wait.... I’m not thinking of ‘getting with’ him all the time. D'amn, who’s calling now?

“Hello?” Noah asked into the receiver on the phone.

“Hi sweetheart.” Luke grinned. “I have a moment between patients so I thought I’d call you and see how your day is going.”

Noah rubbed his eyes with his fingers and replied, “Not so hot. I’m up to my eyeballs with paperwork and I can’t focus right now. I haven’t been able to do a d'amn thing all day, so... I won’t be home until late.”

“How late?” Luke inquired. Now that he got a feel for Noah’s mood, he couldn’t bring up the fact that he’d bought Sadie from Mr. Wilson just to save her life and the lives of her puppies.

“I’m not sure.” Noah tried to hazard a guess. “ Ten?”

“Aw, baby....” Luke sympathized with his boyfriend. “That’s a long day even for you. I’ll stop by around six with something to eat, ok?”

“Don’t bother. I’ll probably work through supper and grab a bite on my way out.”

“I want to see you. How about I come now instead. I have to go to the bank anyway and I’ll be near the casino. We can talk for a little bit or... kiss.” Luke whispered into Noah’s ear.

Noah closed his eyes. The seductiveness in Luke’s voice relaxed him, but at the same time, sprung his c'ock from its sleeping state. “D'amn you Luke.”

“What? What did I do?” Luke asked, perplexed.

“Ah, nothing.” Noah replied with a fib. If he told Luke what had happened, Luke would hold that over him. “I’ll see you in a little while then.” he breathed out through his nose hard as he rubbed the black slacks covering his groin, feeling his erection react positively with the attention it hadn’t received in a while. “Gotta go.”

“Wait Noah...”

“What?” Noah sounded annoyed, all he wanted to do was get off the phone and get off.

“Should I bring lunch?”

“No, I already ate.” Noah said and quickly hung up. I AM being unreasonable. Noah thought as he undid his belt and slacks. I’m horny as hell. I can see where Luke is coming from. I get it. God I am stupid. I know he loves me, everything about me. I’m pretty sure. Why else would he stick with me? The sex can’t be ALL that. There’s more to us than that. Yea, I better apologize when he comes. I have some major kissing up to do. Big Time! He pulled his stiff erection out and moaned while he slowly stroked himself behind his desk.

Luke heard the dial-tone of Noah’s phone and huffed. He was confused. He hung up on me. He’s never done that before. He’s really irked at me. What if he breaks up with me? Is it a crime to look at my boyfriend and want to crawl under his skin? To be absorbed by him? To be one with him all the time cause I love him that much? Is it so wrong that I want to stare at him because I’m amazed at how lucky I am to have met him and that he’s gorgeous and he could have anyone he wanted, but he chose me? What the h'ell is so wrong with that? My life doesn’t revolve around sex! I’m in love with his body, yes, but his mind too. It’s a package deal? Why is he accusing me of not liking other aspects of him? Why all of a sudden did this become something he’s chosen to focus on?
“Men!” Luke grumbled and looked up. “Oh, hi Debra.”

“Hi Mr. Snyder. Trouble in paradise?” She smiled.

Luke clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Eh, so-so.” he tilted his hand back and forth. “Nothing I can’t handle. What’s going on?” he asked, wondering what she wanted.

“There’s a call on line two. Jeff Landry’s kids have a guinea pig that's not eating or drinking. It’s lost a lot of weight and it’s just over five years old.”

Luke nodded, knowing these kinds of rodents only live for about 5-6 years. “Tell him to bring it in. When is the next opening?”

“Three-fifteen.” Debra replied.

“Put him down for an appointment for a possible euthanasia. I’ll take his call and let him know.” Luke pushed the number 2 button on the phone and addressed Jeff. He told him about his thoughts even before he saw the pet. Jeff agreed, the guinee pig didn’t look healthy at all. Luke got the appointment squared away with him and hung up. He walked out front and told Debra, “I’m going out for lunch. I’ll be back before one. If Mr. Wilson calls or comes before that, please tell him I went to the bank and I’ll be back. Don’t let him near Sadie either. In fact, lock the door to the back. I don’t want him sneaking back there.”

“Will do Mr. Snyder.” Debra smiled.

Luke smiled back before leaving for the bank.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Auuhhh-” Noah groaned lustfully, squeezing his c'ock while milking it dry. His head fell back against the headrest of the chair as he caught his breath. He heard a knock on the door and looked up with shock registered on his face.

“Uh! Just a minute!” he yelled, scrambling to wipe himself off and toss the napkins away. He stood up, bumping some papers onto the floor in the process and fastened his belt and slacks. Oh god! I am never going to hear the end of this! Luke is going to accuse me of being a sex maniac. He’s gonna know what I just did!

Noah reached into his top drawer and pulled out a bottle of cologne. He sprayed the strong scent around the room, ridding it of the smell of c'um and sweat. Again, the knock at the door startled him.

“Ah-” Noah looked frantically around and knelt on the floor. “Come in.” he said and began stacking the papers that had fallen, into a neat stack.

“Hi Noah.” a soft, familiar voice he hadn’t heard in a long time, hit his ears. Noah looked up with his mouth open in shock.

“How have you been?”

“Morgan, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Noah said slowly, wondering if he was seeing a mirage.

“I know. Things were complicated back then.” Morgan stated sadly. He closed the door and walked into the room to stand right in front of Noah to speak to him.

Noah put the papers on his desk, but didn’t have the strength to stand up. He was shaking inside. He sat on his heels and looked up, asking, “How are you?”

“Fine. No, that’s not true. I went out with Khu a few times after our fight at ‘Pulse’. By the way, I haven’t seen you there. I’ve been hoping to run into you. It would have been easier because it’s taken me a month to get the balls to come here to talk to you.”

“Look, Morgan. I can’t-” Noah said resolutely.

“Just let me talk for a moment. Please?” Morgan looked down, into Noah’s blue, sexy eyes. He wanted so much to take Noah into his arms and kiss him and make love to him on the desk. “You’re even more handsome than I remember.”

“Don’t-” Noah shook his head. Why was Morgan here?

“Sorry, but it’s the truth.”

“Say what you want to say, or don’t. I have work to do and I don’t have time to listen to you flirt with me. I’m dat-”

“Fair enough.” Morgan nodded. “I left my wife three months ago. I told her that I’m gay and in love with another man. She took it really hard Noah. Really hard. She threw me out, as I suspected she would. I have a studio apartment and for the most part, I’m happy.”

“I’m happy for you. That’s great.” Noah smiled. At least Morgan wasn’t living a lie anymore and he could begin his life as a gay man.

“I’m so glad you said that.” Morgan grinned. “because it’s true. I’m still so in love with you. We can be together now. Free and clear. We don’t have to sneak around in that hotel and we can.... what? Why are you shaking your head?”

“Morgan. I’m with someone now. Someone I’m in love with.” Noah broke the news.

“No. No. You said if I told my wife-” Morgan looked horrified. “You can’t be in love with someone else. You love me! Noah, please. Give us a chance. Things will be different. I swear!”

“I can’t do that. I don’t love you anymore Morgan. I’m sorry you had these plans for us, but you waited too long. I moved on and I’m very happy where I’m at.”

“I can’t believe it.” Morgan said softly, then fell silent while he digested what Noah said.

The door opened. Luke was about to say a cheerful hello to Noah, when he saw some guy standing in front of his kneeling boyfriend and heard the guy say to Noah, “I love you.” The smell of cologne overpowered Luke's senses, then the undertone of the 'barely there' scent of c'um reached his nostrils. Luke’s throat closed, squeezed shut, as if Noah was clamping it shut himself.

Noah peered around Morgan’s body to see who had come in. Morgan turned his head to the door. They both saw Luke standing absolutely still in the doorway with a hurt expression directed at Noah, who was STILL kneeling in front of someone Luke hadn’t looked at yet.

Luke’s eyes finally left Noah's shocked face and rose. They locked on the other man’s face and recognized Noah’s ex boyfriend. “Mor- Morgan?” Luke stammered as he backed out of the door. His gaze fell to Noah again, who STILL hadn’t gotten up. “Noah? How could you?!” he cried out, then turned and fled.

“What’s wrong with him? Who was that?” Morgan asked, turning back to Noah.

“Well, he’s my boyfriend, but I don’t know why he... s'hit!” Noah uttered as he realized what Luke must have been thought. He wanted to laugh at the situation because it was so far fetched.

“What?” Morgan asked.

“Look at us right now. All Luke saw was your back and probably part of me kneeling in front of you. I can bet he thinks I was giving you a blow job.” Noah covered his mouth to stop the laughter. After all, Luke was off alone somewhere crying.

“Well, since he already thinks you gave me one....” Morgan hinted with a snicker.

“Not a chance. You better go. I have to call his cell phone and straighten this out.”

“If you can’t, you know, straighten things out with him, call me?”

“Morgan, just go.” Noah stood up on two feet that had fallen asleep. He hopped to his chair, sat down and called Luke’s cell.

“Bye Noah.” Morgan waved.

“Bye and good luck.” Noah waved back.

Luke didn’t answer his cell when it rang. He put it on vibrate and let it go to voice mail. He knew what Noah was going to say anyway. Luke made a face, yelling as he tried his best to imitate Noah, “It didn’t mean anything Luke. It was just one time Luke. I don’t know how it happened Luke. You have to forgive me Luke! NO, I DON’T Noah! You effin’ cheater! This is why you’ve been pushing me away. You say you don’t want to have sex with me because I’m too caught up in your looks and your body. Bulls'hit! The REAL reason is that you’ve been seeing Morgan on the side! You’d rather have sex with him! How stupid am I to sleep with a guy I barely know the first time I met him at a HUGE pick-me-up club?! And to top it off.... I move in with the b'astard a few months later! HOW STUPID IS THAT?!” Luke yelled at himself in the rearview mirror, hating that he could see how full of sorrow his eyes were, how much pain and hurt were in them, how his tears ran down his cheeks, leaving them wet....

“SMASH-CRUNCH-CRACK!”

Noah bit his lip, waiting for Luke’s voice to stop telling him when to leave the message. It’s always after the beep Luke, you could leave that out you know. Noah thought anxiously.

Finally! “Hi Luke.” Noah said in a quiet and fearful voice due to his worry about Luke, not in an apologetic tone that sounded sorry that he was caught with Morgan in a compromising position because he hadn't done anything to warrant Luke's forgiveness.

“I know you got the wrong idea about... d'amn...” Noah shook his feet. They were all pins and needles now as the nerves in them woke up. “Sorry about that. My feet were asleep from kneeling... ah, I guess you don’t want to hear that if you’re thinking what you’re thinking. I called because what you think you saw wasn’t what you saw, I mean yes, it was Morgan and me here, but nothing was happening when you came in. I mean, nothing happened before you came in either or after you left. God this is hard. I want you to know that Morgan came here because he left his wife and he wanted to get back together. I told him-” BEEP

“D'ammit!” Noah yelled and dialed Luke’s cell. Again, he waited for the beep. “It’s just me again. Anyway, where was I....? Oh yea, Morgan wanted to get back with me and I said no. That’s when you came in... when he said he loved me and you probably thought I was giving him a blow job. I wasn’t Luke. You’re the only man for me. In fact, I was looking forward to you coming to see me cause I wanted to tell you that I know that I’ve been unreasonable and unfair to you. I love that you love my body... just as long as you love what’s in my mind too.” Noah chuckled. “So please, please, please, call me back. If you don’t, I’ll come to the Vet. Clinic and we can talk. I really want to sort this out. I miss you.” Noah added in a whisper, “I jacked off thinking about you today. Bye lover.”

Noah hung up his phone and stared at it, wanting to hear it ring and to hear Luke’s sexy voice in his ear, but all he heard was an ambulance’s siren as it sped past the casino.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

––––•(-•september•-)•––––

Luke kickin' Noah's butt in a snowball fight

Smokey Joe (r.i.p. 1-21-10)

Campaign Week Thirteen

ritalaura2000 — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 15:25:52 CDT

For this week, I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE you to write in to this week's campaign. I have been told that there are rumors that one of our campaign focuses is interested, (RUMOR, so please don't take this as fact) so we need to take a bit of a retread.

Because I'm going to be asking that we all write to a few different places, feel free to send one a day or every other, however you like. But with over 2,200 members, if we ALL write and invite more people to, out voices will be a lot writer. So please, Everyone write!

*DirecTV:

DirecTV, Inc
Customer Service
PO BOX 6550
Greenwood Village
CO 80155-6550

http://support.directv.com/app/ask

*Oxygen

Oxygen Media
LLC
75 9th Avenue
New York, NY
10011

O2.feedback@nbcuni.com (EMAIL)

Please write between the 15th until the 21st.

Postcards

DirecTV

Front

Back

Oxygen

Front

back

FF challenge Februari 2010

juliadw — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:12:00 CDT

this month challenge topic is:

SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR AWAY

and the winner is: Where The Road Ends by Tisaumi

Ch 23

MDFawn — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:58:53 CDT

Title: The Remaking of Nuke
Chapter: XXIII
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Luke and Noah deal with the aftermath of a violent hate crime.
Characters: Luke, Noah, Damian, Holden, Lily, Kevin, Lucinda, Dusty
Genre: Crime/Drama/Angst
Warnings: Rape/Violence/Language
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

CHAPTER XXIII

Holden entered the squad room as quietly and unobtrusively as possible. He’d been here many times over the years, but never with the intent to ask a Grimaldi why he had lied about committing a crime.

Margo was just now leaving the squad room through the back door obviously going somewhere else. As Holden was about to ask the Desk Sergeant if he would be able to visit with Damian, his eyes passed the interrogation room window and stopped. Damian was sitting, in an orange jail suit, waiting.

Damian looked up expectantly as the door to the interrogation room opened. He had been waiting for his recently hired counsel, Kenneth Davis, what he didn’t expect was Holden as he closed the door behind him and leaned back against it staring at him.

They stayed that way for several minutes.

“You know.” Holden started. “I’ve envisioned you right here, in this position, many time but never for something you didn’t do.”

Damian sat, he gazed locked with Holden’s.

“And I know you didn’t do it because Jeff’s body was found at 9:30 and Jack says they figure he was killed around that time and we were having our. . . discussion at the time.” Holden said staring at Damian.

Damian still sat silently at the table.

Holden reached up and rubbed the side of his face. The memory of Noah getting rid of shoes running over and over again. “So why, Damian?” He feared he already knew the answer.

Damian hesitated for a second and than seemed to come to a decision. “When Margo asked Luke and Noah for an alibi last week, Luke lied.”

“What?” Holden whispered.

Damian closed his eyes replaying the scene over again in his mind. “After you left my office to go meet Lily I left and was walking home. I turned a corner and there they were.”

Damian opened his eyes to stare at Holden. “Luke and Noah were there, not two blocks from the World Wide building.”

“What . . . what were they doing.” Holden didn’t know if he wanted the answer.

“I’m not sure. It looked like Noah was disoriented and, I don’t know, out of it.” Damian answered with a somewhat confused expression. “They didn’t see me. I didn’t approach them. It looked like maybe Noah was having another episode like the one on the roof but Luke seemed to get Noah in hand and they
headed off toward their apartment. I didn’t want to embarrass Noah.”

“You don’t know that either of them had anything to do with it.” Holden said in a whisper.

“They lied, Holden.” Damian said shaking his head. “They gave Margo a false alibi. Why?”

Holden dropped his gaze to his hands. Damian saw both Luke and Noah out the night of Jeff’s murder and he’d seen Noah getting rid of shoes in a very suspicious manner and Luke had lied about their alibi for the night. Holden didn’t have any doubt that Luke would lie to protect Noah. He knew it because he would and had lied to protect Lily.

“Holden, I don’t know if they did it or if so, which.” Damian began. “But I’m not about to let either Luke or Noah go to jail for the death of that piece of filth.”

Holden looked up again. “You know I’ve wanted so many times for you to go to jail but not like this.”

Damian actually smiled. “You can’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you had known that Luke and Noah lied. You would have done the exact same thing.”

Holden slowly shook his head. “You’re right, I would have.”

“Anyway, think of it this way, Holden.” Damian continued to smile. “If I get convicted you’ll never have to worry about me and Lily.”

“There isn’t anything to worry about anyway.” Holden smiled back. “But . . . I don’t think I can let you go to jail for this and I know Luke’s not going to be able to.”

Damian’s smile slid from his face. “Well, we’ll just have to make sure that there isn’t anything Luke or Noah can do about it and you’re going to help me.”

“I’m not going to help convict you for something you didn’t do.” Holden looked at the man sitting calming at the table in front of him.

“Do you want to see Luke in jail? Do you think he’d survive there?” Damian asked quietly. “How about Noah? He’s barely hanging on now.”

Holden stood staring again. ‘No, he couldn’t send his son or Noah to jail.’ he thought. But even though he’d hated Damian for more years then he could count, he couldn’t send an innocent man away either. Especially, if that man was Luke’s father.

“Holden.” Damian said drawing Holden out of his thoughts. “You don’t have to help me, just don’t do anything to stop me from doing this. Agreed?

“I can’t promise that, Damian.” Holden said honestly.

The door opened suddenly as Luke stood in the doorway looking surprised to find his father already there talking to his biological father.

“Dad, what are you doing here?” Luke asked in confusion as he looked at Holden.

“Luciano.” Damian tried to interrupt. “I asked Holden to come here.”

“You did.” Luke asked in disbelief. “What for?”

Holden looked questioningly at Damian.

“That’s between your father and I, Luciano.” Damian said quietly. “Thank you, Holden.”

Holden stood for a moment staring at Damian before he turned seeing the questions in Luke’s eyes. “I’ll see you and Noah tomorrow night at your place?”

“Tomorrow night?” Luke said, confused.

“Yeah, dinner.” Holden said as he inched through the door.

“Oh, yeah. I guess.” Luke said shaking his head. “Dad?”

But Holden had already slipped out the door and was leaving the squad room. Neither he nor Luke saw Lucinda observing the whole thing from the back of the room. As Luke closed the interrogation room door she quickly went after her son-in-law.

* * *

Holden’s thoughts were preoccupied as he walked out of the Oakdale Police station and made his way toward his pickup truck. So preoccupied, in fact, that he didn’t notice or even hear Lucinda calling his name the first two times.

“Holden!” Lucinda said again as she walked up and touched his forearm.

Holden jumped at the touch, turning to see his mother-in-law standing behind him with what he had come to call over the years, her “bulldog” face on. Obviously, Lucinda was on the trail of something and Holden must be standing in her way.

“Lucinda, where did you come from?” Holden asked as he tried to fish his keys out of his pants pocket.

“I came from the same place you did, darling.” Lucinda said smiling up at him. “The Police Station.”

Holden looked down at the keys in his hand. “Why were you at the police station, Lucinda?”

Lucinda stood, considering her longtime son-in-law. He had never been good at hiding his feelings and today was no exception. “I think for the same reason you were. To see Damian.”

Holden just continued to stand, fiddling with the keys in his hand.

“Now, why do I get the distinct impression that your visit with Damian wasn’t simply to make sure that the infamous Grimaldi finally gets what’s coming to him.”

Holden glanced up at that.

“Oh . . . “ Lucinda chuckled. “So it wasn’t a gloating session. Granted, considering who he has admitted to killing he really shouldn’t be charged.”

“Lucinda, I’ve got to get back to the farm.” Holden tried to get away from his prying mother-in-law as quickly as possible.

“Holden, Holden, Holden.” Lucinda said as she reached out and touched his arm stopping him before he could turn back to the truck. “You don’t think Damian did it, do you?”

Holden stood with his back half to her. “Lucinda, just leave it alone.” He turned a stoney stare at her. “Just leave it alone.”

Lucinda watched as Holden unlocked the truck door, hopped in and pulled out of the parking lot. He hadn’t even cleared the lot before Lucinda was pulling out her cellphone and hitting a speed dial button.

She waited two rings until it was answered. “I need to see you in my office in 30 minutes.” She snapped the phone shut as her thoughts went back to the man sitting in the station behind her.

* * *

Luke stood staring down at his biological father. A father that up until twelve months ago he hadn’t wanted to ever see again.

For his part Damian sat, waiting for his son to speak.

Luke was conflicted and confused. He had managed to lose himself in Noah and their loving making last night but waking up this morning all the confusion and questions had descended on him full force.

He’d awoken to Noah getting ready for the early shift and watching him as he moved around their room dressing and putting his things together getting ready to leave.
Noah turned from where he was sitting on the bed and leaned over to kiss Luke. “I love you so much.”
“Same here.” Luke had smiled back.
“You’re stealing my line.” Noah chuckled.
“Busted.” Luke captured his lips again for a quick kiss.
Noah sat staring down at him, his blue eyes thoughtful. “Are you going to see him today?”
Luke looked away and silently nodded his head.
“Do you want me to go with you?” He asked.
Luke shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”
Noah sat gazing at him. “Luke . . . I think we need to talk.”
Luke was already shaking his head, no.
“Yeah, we do . . . “ Noah tried to continue.
“Noah, we’ve had two very good attorneys tell us that we shouldn’t talk about that night.” Luke said turning his eyes back to him. “That’s what you think we should talk about right? That night?”
Noah nodded his head.
He knew that Ken Davis and Tom Hughes were right but he needed to know if Luke had did it or if Damian had. He couldn’t hate either if they had killed Jeff, but he needed to know. If Luke did it than they’d work through it, find some way to live with the fact. The same if Damian had done it, but if Damian was lying, as Noah feared he was, to save Luke, Noah didn’t know if he could live with Damian being convicted for something he didn’t do even if it was to protect Luke. He was confused and needed to talk to Luke.
“We’re not talking about it.” Luke said throwing the blanket off and searching for his boxers. He stood and pulled them up. Luke’s thoughts had been racing since he’d awoken and listened as Noah showered. He wanted to know if Noah had actually killed Jeff as he feared. Luke didn’t fool himself into thinking that he was a morally superior person. If Noah did it, then he was more than willing to hid the fact and keep Noah out of jail. Jeff deserved whatever fate he was dealt. If Damian had done it as he said he did, well he’d do everything in his power to get his father free. His fear though, was that somehow Damian knew Noah had did it and he was lying to protect him and Luke in turn.
That thought is what was driving Luke crazy. What was he supposed to do? If Damian was lying to protect Noah, he couldn’t let Damian go to prison for killing Jeff when he didn’t, but he couldn’t let Noah go to prison either. It was driving Luke insane. The not knowing, the fear for either outcome.
He turned and looked at Noah as he stood on the other side of the bed. His face a mask of confusion. They needed to talk but fear and the laws really wasn’t allowing it. Luke walked slowly over to Noah, reaching out and taking his hands in his own pulling him into the small space that separated them until their foreheads touched.
“We’re going to get through this.” Luke whispered as he closed his eyes. He could feel that they were both swaying slightly. They always seemed to do that when they stood this close. A natural rhythm between them.
“I know.” Noah whispered back.

He stood staring at Damian wondering again ‘did you do it, Damian or are you protecting Noah?’

“Luciano” Damian began. He swallowed not wanting to hurt his son but knowing no other way to proceed. “I’m not going to talk to you. You need to leave. Now.”

“Damian?” Luke began but was interrupted by the interrogation room door opening and Ken Davis standing there looking at the scene in front of him.

“I’m sorry Mr. Snyder, but I need to speak to my client.” He said as he entered leaving the door open, the silent invitation that he should leave. “In private.”

Luke and Damian’s eyes locked and Luke was caught by the undisguised love that he saw there. He didn’t have to ask, he knew. He knew that Damian hadn’t killed Jeff. That Damian was lying.

Damian dropped his gaze to the table in front of him. Luke stood a second longer looking at the man that had come back to Oakdale to make amends. To get a second chance to be a father. Luke turned and walked out as the door shut silently behind him.

Ken placed his briefcase on the top of the table as he saw Damian watch Luke’s retreating back through the window. Damian briefly closed his eyes, composing himself before looking up at his counsel.

Ken stood for a second with his arms folded in front of his chest contemplating if he really wanted to ask the question that had been plaguing him all night.

“So Mr. Grimaldi, which is it?”

Damian cocked his head in a confused manner at Ken’s question.

“You’re protecting them. Which one, Luke or Noah, killed Jeff?”

“We will not be discussing Luke or Noah, Mr. Davis.” Damian said with a deathly calm.

* * *

Lucinda stood at the floor to ceiling window in her office overlook the city of Oakdale. A city that she owned, literally, but what good was all the money, all the power, if you couldn’t do what you wanted to do.

The look in Holden’s eyes when he had told her to ‘leave it alone’ only confirmed in her mind what she already knew. Damian was lying. He didn’t kill Emerson and what’s more, Holden knew it. She turned as her assistant, Katherine, knocked and quickly entered saying that her appointment had arrived.

Dusty quickly entered and they both stood in silence while Katherine closed the door.

“You sounded pretty . . . upset when you called.” Dusty faintly smiled.

“Don’t try and be cute, Dusty.” She said as she turned back to the window. “You heard about Damian, I presume.”

“Yes.” He said as he joined Lucinda by the window. “He didn’t do it though.”

Lucinda turned just enough to see Dusty out of the corner of her eye. “No, he didn’t.”

“I suppose you know who did.” He rocked back and forth on his heels.

“I have an idea.” Lucinda said in a low voice turning back to the view.

Dusty stood thinking for a few moments as he too studied the view. “Maybe you’re wrong.”

Lucinda chuckled. Few people got away with saying she was wrong, but Dusty was one of them. “I pray to God that I am. Dusty.”

“I haven’t found the tapes yet.” He said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t think either Luke or Noah would have even thought to get the tapes.”

Lucinda froze, closing her eyes. There it was. Someone had finally named the names. “My grandson is my grandson for a reason, Dusty.” She smirked in pride. “If I thought about it that quickly and asked you to get them, I’m sure he would have thought of it.”

Dusty nodded his head up and down. “So you think it’s Luke, not Noah?”

Lucinda turned and looked Dusty directly in the eyes. “Even with all that Noah’s been put through, the hell, the pain, everything, I don’t think the boy has it in him.”

“But Luke does?” Dusty asked.

“He has Walsh blood running through his veins.” Lucinda said turning back to the window. “He wouldn’t be the first to solve a problem this way.”

“Than I think someone needs to talk to Noah.” Dusty said shoving both hands deep into his pants pocket.

“And that’s another reason why you’re here.” Lucinda smiled.

“Doesn’t surprise me.” Dusty smiled back.

“I trust if Noah says anything . . . damning, you won’t be volunteering it to the Oakdale PD?” Lucinda asked seriously.

“You can be sure, Lucinda.” Dusty answered just as seriously.

* * *

Luke stood looking at the sign. ‘Sunny’s Liquors’.

He’d left the police station and started walked, forgetting about his car in the parking lot. Damian’s eyes stuck in his head and the certain knowledge that he didn’t kill Jeff and Noah did. Now, he stood in front of the liquor store in Old Town and he’d been staring at the sign for a full five minutes. He shook his head trying to rid himself of Damian’s eyes.

He was violently spun around and moving down the sidewalk before it even registered he was no longer in front of the building. Kevin’s hand clamped around his forearm pushing him forward. They turned the nearest corner and Luke found themselves near the Old Town Amphitheater.

Kevin released his grip. “What the h*ell, Luke.”

“Get away from me, Kevin.” Luke said as he stepped back. “Leave me alone.”

“What, so you can crawl into a bottle.” Kevin shouted.

Luke simply stood staring at the ground.

“You were, weren’t you?” Kevin asked. He stood waiting from a response and started pacing and cursing when one didn’t come.

“Luke . . .” He didn’t know where to begin. He stepped right up in Luke’s face. “Do you think getting drunk and putting your health at risk is going to help any of this? Noah? Damian?”

Luke could sense Kevin in his face but couldn’t bring himself to look into his friend’s eyes.

“Do you!” Kevin snapped.

“I don’t know!” Luke yelled back as he locked eyes with Kevin. “There! You happy! I don’t know.”

They both stood, ridged. Kevin stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck as Luke also took a step back and stared at the ground.

Kevin had been thinking all night. The arrest of Damian the night before had come as a shock. He and Jade had been confused when they had seen Luke throwing something into the bonfire, but he could tell without even asking Jade that as soon as Peyton had stepped out of that car the night before that they both had the same question. ‘Did Luke do it? What was he destroying?’

He hadn’t slept much during the night and he had been heading to Java for a caffeine fix when he’d seen Luke just standing there, staring, outside the liquor store.

“My dad is a great attorney, Luke.” He said smiling slightly at Luke. “He’ll do everything he can to get Damian out of this.”

Luke looked up and Kevin was struck still. He had known Luke for years. Before the “summer” that ended their friendship for a time, they’d done everything together. Basketball, movie watching, drinking. He could tell the look in Luke’s eyes and it wasn’t gratitude, it wasn’t sadness, it was guilt.

“Luke, if you need someone to talk too and for whatever reason you can’t talk to Noah . . . you can talk to me.” He said quietly. The memory of Luke and the bonfire was front and center in his minds eye.

Luke stuffed his hands deep into his front pockets, looking down at the ground again. Shaking his head.

Kevin unconsciously was mirroring Luke’s stance with his hands also jammed down into his pants pockets. “Luke, I . . . I saw what you did last night.”

Luke’s eyes snapped up to Kevin’s. “What?”

Kevin took a deep breath. “I saw you throw something into the bonfire last night, like you were trying to get rid of it.”

“What are you spying on me now?” Luke snapped as he turned away from Kevin.

He grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Luke, come on.”

Luke hadn’t turned around when Kevin stopped him. “Your father’s an attorney, Damian’s attorney, I can’t talk to you, Kevin.” He turned and Kevin could see the pleading in his eyes.

“I swear, I’m not going to say anything to anyone, Luke.” Kevin whispered. “Did you do it? Did you kill him?”

“No!” Luke yelled.

“Then what where you getting rid of?” Kevin asked.

Luke wouldn’t look at him again. Kevin watched as he paced back and forth, frustration written all over his face and expressed in his every move.

“It was Noah’s shirt.” Luke said and immediately clamped his mouth shut not believing he’d said it out loud.

Kevin stood, a look of confusion on his face. ‘Why would Luke be burning one of Noah’s shirts?’ Unless.

“What was on the shirt, Luke?” Kevin demanded.

Luke stopped pacing and looked at him whispering. “Blood.”

Kevin was stunned. He’d thought all night it was Luke but Noah? “Noah?”

“But my dad said that you two had an alibi the night he was murdered.” Kevin asked.

“I lied.” Luke said sitting down on the nearest bench dropping his head in his hands. “We weren’t home that night. I mean we were, but I woke up and Noah was gone and I went to find him. I didn’t find him right away but I found . . . I found Jeff though.”

“What?” Kevin dropped next to him on the bench.

“I was practically running through Old Town trying to find Noah and when I rounded a corner there Jeff was. He had blood all over his face, I thought maybe he’d done something to Noah.”

Luke charged forward grabbing Jeff by the collar of his shirt. “Where’s Noah!”
Jeff surprised by the sudden assault regained his footing quickly and shoved Luke away. “Get off of me f*aggot! I haven’t seen your pansya*ss boyfriend.”
“Well, someone beat the crap out of you.” Luke yelled.
“Just another one of a thousand a*ssholes in this stupid town.” Kevin commented as he tried to stop his nose from bleeding with the end of his shirt sleeve.
Luke stared at the cause of all Noah’s pain for the last three months. God, he hated this one person more than he had ever hated anyone else in his entire life. If he’d just disappear, life for all of them would be so much easier. The thought struck him like a bolt of lightening. ‘Maybe I should just go Grimaldi on him.’
“If the town is such a disappointment to you, I suggest you leave it behind.” Luke said in a mild voice. “Leave now.”
“Is that a threat?” Jeff smirked. “Your old man already did that the other week after my visit with your little boyfriend.”
“So Damian gave you some advice, I hope you plan on taking it.” Luke smirked. “I would if I were you.”
“Well you’re not me, girlfriend. What are you going to do if I don’t?” Jeff asked.
Luke took a step closer looking directly into Jeff’s slightly blood shot eyes. “I’m sure you found out that Damian’s got a shady past to say the least. The thing you probably don’t know is that my grandmother, Killed. Damian’s. Brother. And. Got. Away. With. It. I don’t need anybody’s help to deal with you.”
Luke took yet another step closer, his stomach threatening to empty itself right there. “Your friend Brice did the smart thing and took his own life. Eric’s in prison, he won’t make it to the end of the month. I suggest you leave, because I think you have about another month before you . . .”
Jeff listened waiting for Luke to finish the sentence. “Before what?”
“Before you just suddenly don’t . . . seem to be around any more.” Luke drew up the corner of his mouth in a small smile. “Not that anyone will even miss you, Jeff?”
Luke received some small satisfaction in the fact that Jeff’s hands were shaking as they reached up again to wipe blood from his nose. Jeff took an involuntary step back and looked around as if he were afraid someone or something would come out of the darkness that instance and snatch him away.
He saw the smile on Luke’s face and flinched at the thought that he’d witnessed his fear. His back stiffened and he spit out blood that had collected in his mouth. “You think you can scare me, think again.”
Luke looked down but barely registered the bloody spit all over the front of his shoes. Actually, a soft laugh escaped. “Your choice than.”

“I left him there while I went to find Noah. I found him about 25 minutes later and he was disoriented and confused. We went home and then the next morning I found his shirt and it had blood all over it.” Luke finished. He waited to see what Kevin had to say. He felt relieved he’d actually told someone but now he worried if Kevin was honest when he said he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“I’m the one that had gotten into a fight with Jeff before you ran into him.” Kevin said as he sat back on the bench.

Luke turned to look at him waiting for an explanation as to way, but none came. “I’m sure he deserved ever punch.”

“He did.” Kevin smiled faintly.

Luke looked down at his hands and whispered. “Are you going to tell your father about me lying about the alibi and Noah’s shirt?”

Kevin didn’t hesitate. “I said I wasn’t going to, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.” Luke breathed.

* * *

“Damn it!” Noah exclaimed as he pulled his hand away from the steam of the espresso machine.

“Hey buddy, you better be careful.” A voice said from the other side of the counter.

Noah was rubbing his scorched hand as he turned around. “Dusty? I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“Yeah, got back last week.” Dusty smiled across at the young man. Noah had changed a lot in the last two years. Coming out, finding love with Luke and finally, being able to release himself from the shadow of the Colonel.

“What can I get you?” Noah asked as he finished rubbing the offending hand.

“A few minutes.” Dusty answered.

“Ah, sure.” Noah looked around catching sight of Jeff. “Jeff, can you cover me for ten?”

“Sure, as long as we don’t get a rush.” Jeff smiled.

Noah came around and lead Dusty over to a table in the corner sensing that they’d probably want privacy.

Once they were settled Dusty didn’t waste any time. “Noah, I need to ask you about the night Jeff Emerson was murdered.

Noah froze at the statement. “What?”

Dusty almost felt sorry for the kid but he and Lucinda needed to find out the truth and fast if they were going to try and control the situation. “I’m pretty sure Damian didn’t kill Emerson and if he didn’t than he’s admitting to it to protect someone else. I’m guessing . . . Luke.”

Noah just stared wide-eyed at the man across the table from him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Luke and I were home that night. All night.”

Dusty fixed Noah with a penetrating gaze and a slight smile. “Really?”

“Ye . . . .yes.” He stuttered and dropped his gaze to the table top. Damn if he couldn’t lie to Dusty, who he hadn’t seen in almost a year, how was he going to do it with anyone else, like Margo or the District Attorney.

“Noah.” Dusty began. “Look if say, just for arguments sake, you or Luke killed this loser and you happen to tell me I’m not going to tell Margo. I want to help.”

Noah started to trace patterns on the table top with his finger. He could use someone to talk to. He had no idea what he was doing. He was confused and afraid all the time. Every time the bell rang on the door of Java his pulse raced.

“Noah?” Dusty tried again.

“Ken Davis and Tom Hughes both told us that we, me and Luke, shouldn’t talk to each other or anyone about that night?” Noah whispered.

“Yeah, well they have to tell you that because of their legal ethics.” Dusty smiled at the down turned head. “I don’t have that problem. I have no ethics.”

Noah was silent for so long Dusty was afraid that maybe he wouldn’t talk to him.

“When Margo asked us for an alibi, Luke gave her one.” Noah started. He continued following his finger on the table not looking at Dusty. “Luke lied and I didn’t know why but I confirmed it when Margo asked.”

“You two weren’t home that night? Did you see Jeff that night?” Dusty leaned forward lowering his voice.

“I saw him.” Noah whispered. He still kept his head down not looking at Dusty. “Dusty, you know what . . .” Noah took a deep breath. “You know Jeff raped me, right?”

“Yeah, kid. I know.” Dusty said matter of factly.

Noah looked up then. “I saw him that night and I wish I had thrown him off that roof.”

Noah stumbled through Old Town. He really should go back to the apartment but he just couldn’t go back and try and sleep only to find himself in the middle of another nightmare with Jeff Emerson as the star. As if conjured by the mere thought of his name, Jeff seemed to materialize in front of him.
Jeff came up short and stood staring at the man in front of him. He quickly looked around as if afraid that someone might notice that he was even there in Noah’s presence. “Look cupcake, just leave me alone and get out of my way.”
Something snapped. Noah surged forward and grabbed Jeff by the front of his shirt. He didn’t even notice the blood that Jeff’s hands had left on his shirt as he tried to push Noah away from him.
“Leave you alone!” Noah screamed. “Leave you alone! That’s all I want is to forget about you and what you did to me.”
“Awww, fond memories of our night together.” Jeff smirked. “I’m touched.”
Noah turned and started walking toward the nearby building while retaining his grasp on the front of Jeff’s shirt dragging him behind. “Yeah, fond memories.”
“Let go of me!” Jeff started to yell as he tried to disengage Noah’s hands from his shirt. He was quickly finding out that Noah was the bigger and stronger of the two. Obviously, having two other friends had been the only reason he’d been able to overpower Noah the night of the attack.
Noah didn’t hesitate as he dragged Emerson behind him through the front door of the lobby of the World Wide building. He was in luck, the security desk was empty as he walked up to the elevator bank and shoved Jeff before him into the nearest one and pressed the button marked “R”.
“Where the h*ell do you think your taking me?” Jeff tried to reach past Noah for the buttons.
Noah shoved him back against the back wall of the elevator. “You’ll see. Scared?”
“Of you?” Jeff snorted.
The bell rung and the doors slid open onto the glass doors that lead out to the roof. Noah grabbed Jeff’s arm and pulled him after him out of the elevator and through the doors. He pushed him ahead of him and followed him while he walked further out onto the roof.
“So what now.” Jeff turned with his back to the edging of the roof. “This where you’re going to threaten me and tell me that I’m going to disappear or you’re going to kill me or whatever?”
Noah didn’t speak he just stared at the man in front of him. The man whose face, voice and presence had haunted his dreams and even his waking hours for the better part of three months. He really couldn’t take it any more but what really had him on the verge of physical violence was the fact that he’d remembered what Jeff had said the night of the attack. His threats to Luke’s safety. How he’d see if Luke “liked it rough.”
Jeff had stopped talking and was watching Noah with hesitant eyes.
“I was up here about a month ago.” Noah began in a whisper. “I nearly killed myself because of you and your friends. I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to get past what you’d done to me, but you helped me figure that out, Emerson.”
A look of confusion on Jeff’s face was the only response.
“When you came into Java and threatened Luke you gave me another emotion besides fear. HATE!!” Noah quickly moved forward and pushed Jeff toward the edge of the roof. As Jeff tripped toward the edge Noah grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands and pushed him over the edge.
Jeff stood there, leaning over the edge of the roof at a precarious angle. “F*uck you, Mayer!” Jeff screamed as he reached for Noah’s arms and hung on, trying to pull himself back from the brink.
“No thanks, already done that.” Noah’s arms and back were straining as he held Jeff in that difficult position on the roof of World Wide. He watched in distant fascination as Jeff’s eyes nearly bulged from their sockets. “Do you know how easy it would be to just let you go, Emerson?”
Jeff angrily stared back at Noah not saying a word. He couldn’t find his voice even if he’d known what to say.
“So easy. I could just let go and you’d fall and we’d be rid of you for good.” Noah said in a wistful tone. He wasn’t even looking at Jeff anymore, his thoughts pulling him elsewhere. He was jerked back to the present with the sound of sobbing.
Noah looked down at the man in his grip and saw that tears were actually flowing down his cheeks and he had his eyes squeezed shut. “Please don’t. Please don’t. Please don’t.” He whispered.
Noah pulled Jeff back and pushed him away. Jeff stumbled back landing on his butt and sat their with his head in his hands.
“Begging?” Noah asked in fascination. “I did that too, didn’t seem to help me out much that night.”
Noah shook his head to clear the memories. “Killing you would be too easy for you, Jeff. You deserve the suffering you’re going to have to live with.” Noah breathed trying to center himself and then glared at Jeff who had raised his head. “Stay away from me, stay away from Luke, stay away from everybody I love.” Noah took two steps to close the distance and kneeled down in front of him. “If I even see you anywhere near anybody I just mentioned, I’ll drag you up here and not even think before I throw you off this roof. Do you understand me?”
Jeff just sat staring at Noah’s dark eyes.
“I said, DID YOU HEAR ME?” Noah said again.
“Ye . . . yes.” Jeff stammered.

“I left him there sitting on the roof of World Wide. I stumbled through the streets trying to decide if I was going home when all of the sudden Luke was walking toward me. I was suddenly so exhausted and all we both could do is head home and fall into bed.” Noah continued.

“I got up the next morning and when Luke was getting ready I noticed his tennis shoes and they were covered in something. It didn’t even register that it might be blood until Margo and Emerson showed up and told us Jeff was murdered and then Luke lied.” Noah was shaking his head in confusion. “I went back and looked at them and it was blood.”

“Where are the shoes?” Dusty asked.

“I got rid of them.” Noah said looking up at him through his lashes. “I took them to the farm and filled them with stones and sunk them in the pond. I heard water messes with the evidence.”

Dusty smiled slightly at Noah’s earnest expression. “Pretty good thinking, kid.”

Noah didn’t return the smile. “What do I do, Dusty?”

Dusty sat back and took a deep breath looking at the young man across from him.

“I mean, if Damian didn’t do it than Luke . . . Luke must have, right?” Noah was rubbing his forehead now trying to think. “I can’t let Luke go to jail, I can’t, I love him but how can I let Damian, who’s innocent take the blame.”

Dusty stood up and placed his hand on Noah’s shoulder. “We’ll figure something out, just try and stay calm.”

Noah started to laugh. “Calm, right.”

* * *

Both Noah and Luke had arrived home exhausted once again. They’d quietly eaten dinner and Noah had asked how the visit with Damian had went. When Luke informed him that Damian ‘wouldn’t talk to him’ Noah’s anxiety increased. They had gone to bed quiet, nervous and not telling the other about the conversations and confessions they had both made during the day.

Noah spooned in behind Luke and encircled his waist pulling him in closer. He leaned in and kissed him behind the ear and breathed. “Whatever it is, we’re going to be okay.”

Luke froze for a second before burrowing back into Noah’s embrace. “We’ll be fine, bubby.”

“I love you.” Noah closed his eyes feeling the warmth in Luke’s back pressed back into his chest.

“I adore you.” Luke whispered as he closed his eyes trying to ignore the other eyes that kept popping up in his memory.

They both were silent and slowly they each feel into a restless sleep.

The next morning was Monday which meant that Noah was up and out before Luke even stirred and than Luke was off to the Foundation. If they had asked each other they both would have admitted that the strain of trying so hard not to talk about something was wearing them out. The constant stress of their each individual knowledge and secrets was almost too much.

Noah had forgotten, as Luke had, that Lily and Holden were even to come over for their first dinner in their apartment. Luke had thought to cancel but feared that that would produce more questions that he couldn’t answer or wouldn’t answer.

They had tried to get back to normal while they prepared their first dinner “party.” Noah had laughed when Luke tried to convince him to just order take out and put it on plates and fool Lily into thinking that they had actually prepared a meal. They had finally agreed on something simple, spaghetti and garlic bread, which had turned out surprising well and actually edible.

The four of them were just finishing up and lingering over their coffee and pastries. Pastries that Noah had grabbed from Java before leaving work. Lily had tried to keep the conversation light and off the topic of Jeff’s murder and Damian’s arrest but it was a huge, white elephant in the room that no matter how hard they tried to ignore just seemed to become bigger and bigger.

“Did you go to see Damian, baby?” Lily finally asked.

Luke’s hand had frozen as it was reaching for his coffee and his gaze shifted from the table to Holden. “I did, didn’t Dad tell you?”

Lily’s confused look was his answer. She turned to Holden with a questioning look. “Why were you down there?”

Holden’s eye were still locked on his dessert as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I went to see Damian.”

“Why?” She asked.

Holden simply looked up into Lily’s eyes. “Can we discuss this later?”

“No.” Luke said as he dropped his hands into his lap.

Noah reached out and gripped his forearm. “Luke.”

“No.” Luke glanced at Noah. “Damian said he had asked Dad to come there but neither would say what for.”

Lily and Noah both were staring at Holden now. Noah in slight fear and Lily in agitation because Holden hadn’t mentioned the visit and seemed to now be trying to avoid discussing it.

“Holden?” Lily tried again.

“Lily.” Holden sighed as he folded his napkin and laid it on his plate. “I went to see him and he asked me to watch over Luke and Noah, like I wouldn’t do that anyway. I didn’t ask him about the case and he didn’t volunteer any information. It was a very brief discussion.”

Lily eyed her husband and knew he was lying. Knew it as sure as she knew that if Damian was actually guilty that Holden would be the first to campaign to send him to Statesville. The fact that Holden had been so silent on the subject confirmed in her mind that even Holden doubted Damian’s confession.

Holden turned and locked eyes with his wife and a discussion passed between them. ‘We’re not done with this.’ ‘I know that.’

Noah got up and started clearing the dishes, carrying them into the kitchen and filling the sink with soap to let them soak. He came back as everyone had
gotten up and good-bye were being said.

“Luke, did you have those new pamphlets for the symposium at OU?” Lily snapped her fingers remembering the materials that Luke had said he’d be picking up from the printers.

“Yeah. Let me put some shoes on and I’ll carry them down to the car for you.” Luke smiled and headed toward the bedroom with Lily following behind.

“Thanks Noah.” Holden smiled.

Noah picked up the last of the dishes and looked at Luke’s father with confusion. “For what, Holden?”

“For feeding us without killing us.” Holden laughed.

“Funny, sir.” Noah laughed as he headed toward the sink while Holden walking into the living room to retrieve he and Lily’s coats.

“Noah.” Luke called from their bedroom. “Have you seen my white tennis shoes? You know the ones I got when we went to Branson.”

Holden’s breath caught as he slowly turned to see Noah frozen at the kitchen sink, his back to him.

“Noah?” Luke called again.

“Yea . . . yeah.” Noah answered without turning. His voice barely managing not to crake and his hands white knuckled on the edge of the counter. “I don’t know, Luke. You got like 10 pairs, can’t you just grab another pair?”

“Okay.” Luke answered.

Holden stood frozen staring at Noah’s back. Luke missing a pair of white shoes? Noah sinking a pair of white shoes in the pond? Noah sinking Luke’s shoes into the pond. Noah wasn’t hiding his shoes, he was hiding Luke’s shoes. Luke?

Holden realized belatedly the look of horror that most be on his face as Noah turned back around and their eyes locked. The look of fear quickly bloomed in Noah’s face when he saw Holden’s.

Noah didn’t know how he knew, but at that moment Noah knew that Holden knew about the shoes. He could see a look of comprehension and then something else . . . understanding and love.

They both jumped as Luke and Lily emerged from the bedroom carrying the boxes of printed material.

“Noah, I’m going to run these down to my parents car, okay?” Luke smiled at his fiancé.

Noah flinched. “Of course. Good night, Lily.” He smiled down at the tiny woman and leaned in for a kiss.

Lily leaned up on tippy toe and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Love you, baby.”

“Same here.” Noah smiled.

Luke already had the door open and was heading out with Lily in tow as Holden stopped in front of Noah.

They stood, they’re eyes locked. Holden pulled Noah into a fierce bear hug.

Noah was shocked for a second but immediately found himself hugging Holden just as fiercely.

“Thank you, son.” Holden whispered in a chocked voice as he pulled away.

Noah saw the tears threatening in the older man’s eyes as they were in his own.

Holden reached up and patted the side of Noah’s jaw and then hurried to follow his wife out into the November night.

* * *

MDFawn

MDFawn — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:48:39 CDT

Author: MDFawn (aka Anna; Marie Betz on Facebook)

Biography: I'm a novice writer. I'm a married, mother of two. This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic for Nuke. This is actually a story based on an outline of a story arc I wish they would do on ATWT. It's an arc that would probably encompass about a two year time frame on ATWT, so I thought instead of getting frustrated with ATWT's writers I'd just start writing it and get it out of my system since ATWT won't do it.

Stories:

Finding Happiness

annisalee — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:31:22 CDT

Title: Finding Happiness Ch. 1
Rating: R
Summary: Luke and Noah deal with his blindess and Dr. Oliver. Contains spoilers and speculation.
Characters: Luke, Noah, Maddie, Dr. Oliver
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: Spoilers
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

"So? What do you think? I can't see it, but Maddie says it’s comfortable," Noah stated, letting Luke in through the apartment door.

Luke didn't say anything at first, just let his eyes wander the living room. Noah and Maddie's living room. Their apartment. Just like a few years ago when they were a couple. When they were living together, sleeping together...There was even a fire place.

"Umm...where do you want this?" The blonde pulled his eyes away from the room and his concentration settled back onto the box in his hands. The last box of Noah's stuff. When Luke went home that night, there would be nothing left of Noah at all.

"You can just put it on the kitchen table. I'll have Maddie help me sort it later," Noah shrugged.

Nodding, Luke felt tears burn his eyes and was grateful that Noah couldn't see. He quickly set the box on the table, trying to compose himself before joining Noah back in the living room, "Well...if that's all you need..."

"Do you want something to drink?" Noah asked politely and Luke felt his heart chip a little. So this is what they were reduced to. Pleasant small talk and offered beverages.

"No, I'm okay," Luke breathed in through his nose. He just needed to make it out a few more minutes before he broke down completely. Everything he knew to be true and real was blown apart by chaos and confusion. And now, the one person he thought would always be there to support him, to love him was moving away. He even seemed happy. Happier than he had been in months. Noah was slipping away from him a little more every day. First, with his accident, and then rehab, followed by Dr. Oliver and now Maddie, "I better go," He whispered.

"Are you sure? I think Maddie drinks the same tea as you-"

Luke sighed, "Are we really going to do this?"

"Do what?" Noah asked, innocently.

"This!" Luke wanted to scream in frustration, "Small talk. Pretending like nothing's wrong."

"Luke-"

"Everything's wrong, Noah!" Luke blew up.

Noah sighed, "I know it's tough, but-"

"But what?" Luke wanted to know.

"I...I don't know," Noah shrugged, "I don't know what you want from me. What you want me to do. All I know is that I have to get my sight back."

"And what if you don't? What's going to happen then?" Luke hated thinking that way, but it was a question that had been plaguing his mind for weeks, "What if Dr. Oliver can't help you?"

"I don't know, but I have to believe he can. That I'm going to see again, and if I don't then I have to find a way to deal with this without-"

"Without me," Luke felt a tear escape his eye, "You're going to have to learn to live your life without me."

Noah shook his head, "I wasn't going to say that," His voice was low.

"But you were thinking it," Luke shot back.

"Luke," Noah groaned, "Why do you have to make this so difficult? Can't you just...support me and my decision?"

"What decision is that? To throw me out of your life or to move in with your ex-girlfriend?"

"It's not like that, and you know it," Noah argued.

Luke shrugged his tone softening just a bit, "Do you remember when I told you that I wasn't going back to OU?"

"Yeah?" Noah asked in slight confusion.

"You said that when you were in a couple you didn't make life changing decisions without talking to your partner," Luke recounted.

The brunette shook his head, "This is different," He stated.

"Is it?" Luke challenged, "You're changing your entire life and I...I just don't know where I fit in any more."

"I don't know what you want to hear."

Luke held his hands out in defeat, "I don't know either...I just know that I...I...I can't go on like this."

Noah took a tentative step forward, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I...we can't go on like this," Luke let a few more tears fall.

"It's just for a few more months," Noah promised.

Luke nodded, "The thing is...I need you now, Noah," He admitted, "I need you to be there for me, but I know you can't and it's killing me."

"Are you asking me to choose between my sight and you?" Noah's voice revealing a mix of contempt and anger.

"No," Luke sniffled and shook his head, "Above everything else, I want you to be able to see again. I want you to have that surgery, because I know you're strong and I know you'll get through it. I just...I don't think I can be there when this is all over."

"So what are you saying?" Noah cleared his throat.

Luke found himself reaching out to touch Noah's arm, only to pull back, "You don't know how hard this is for me to say because I'm still...still so much in love with you but Noah, I...I can't do this anymore."

"What? Be with me?"

"Be with you? God, Noah, I'm never with you! Reid Oliver saw to that!" Luke yelled in exasperation.

"Because of what you did to him!" Noah fought back.

"I was doing it for you!" Luke reminded the brunette, "Sh'it. See, we can't keep doing this."

Noah stood silently, trying to cope with the idea of not having Luke by his side...even if it was a distant side.

"You know what the worst part is?" Luke asked, willing the sobs away, "I find myself wondering if you even still love me. We used to be so close and I knew you loved me. I could just feel it, but now...now I'm not so sure."

"I do," Noah said with conviction in his voice and he moved forward, grasping onto Luke's hand and squeezing, "I do, but I-"

"Can't be with me right now. I know," Luke nodded, "So, I'm going to do us both a favor and I'm going to...to walk away."

"So that's the answer? That's it?" Noah dropped Luke's hand.

"I'm tired, Noah. I'm so tired of it all and I just feel...done," Luke allowed a small sob to echo around the room, "I'm sorry. I should...should go," He quickly fled from the small apartment, the door slamming echoed around the apartment complex hallway. Tears seemed to flow nonstop down his cheeks as he made his way down the stairs and to his car. He couldn't hear the sound of his heart breaking, but he could feel it and was pretty sure it sounded like glass shattering into a million pieces.

The Story Of The Steel Claw!

loveislove...right — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:09:35 CDT

Title: The Story Of The Steel Claw!
Chapter: 3....if you are counting these little stories as chapters
Rating: well, not totally sure!!
Summary: Luke tells the reader a tale about his week, and how it compares to a song that he likes to listen to.
Characters: Luke, Noah,
Genre: Luke's POV
Warnings:
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Authors note: Even though I enjoy Tina Turners music, I am not the one picking out the songs for these stories. That credit goes to James (drunkyluke). He picks out the songs, and I listen to them, and something comes out of it! I hope that these are liked. Thanks for the songs, James! And I hope everyone enjoys these little short stories!!!!!

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Anyone who knows anything about me can say with a straight face that I am more than likely the biggest Tina Turner fan alive. Some might even go as far as calling me a stalker. I know all the places that she has been, all the places that she thought about going to, every stage that she danced on, every restaurant that she ate at. Basically......I know everything there is to know about Mrs. Tina Turner. We have a special connection as well. For some strange reason, Tina had her way with keeping Noah and I together. Almost every time Noah and I had an argument, and were about to break up, she sprinkled her magic dust on me and Noah, and somehow we managed to make our way back into each others arms. She was my little guardian angel.

With all that being said, it really shouldn't surprise me about what happened to me, during one week of my life. I was going through my collections of the many Tina CD's that I own, when a song from the album Private Dancer, caught my eye. It was a song that I enjoyed from the first moment that I heard it. This song perfectly fit my week in question to a T. To the unfamiliar Tina Turner ears, it wouldn't have been picked up, but for me...it was picked up immaterially. The song was Steel Claw, and here is how my week went with my beloved Noah.

It was a Monday, and I had taken the week off of work. I got up early and landed myself on the sofa and started to watch some TV.

" Is that all that you are going to do all week on your vacation?" Noah says to me while he fixes himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

" No! I intend to go for a little swim later. Then maybe lay around the pool after and sunbathe after that swim." I said as I started to stretch my legs a little.

" Oh, boy! That sure does sound like hard work there." Noah says as he takes a sip out of his coffee.

" This is a hard work LESS week for me." I explained to Noah.

" Well, my deer, you are doing that, just FINE." Noah says as he comes to me and gave me a hug. " Have a good day off."

" I intend on it." I said as I crossed my legs on the sofa.

" Don't get yourself too worked up now." Noah says as he closes the front door as he walks out.

" Oh you!" I said as I threw the pillow at the already closed door.

After the throw was completed. I knew that it was a mistake to do that. Not only did I see and understand that the door was already closed and could not possibly hit Noah, but now I have to get up and walk to the door and pick it up. That was just too much work for me on this week off.

After doing next to nothing all morning long, I decided that it was time for me to get up from the sofa and go for my afternoon swim. Quickly I went upstairs and slipped into my swimming trunks. After, I made it outside and got into the pool. For the most part, I just stayed floating and not doing much swimming. After, I got tired of doing that, I decided to get out the pool and do some sunbathing.

After what only felt like a few minutes, I felt Noah tap me on the shoulder, to wake me up from my peaceful slumber.

" You're going to get sunburned if you remain in the sun like that while you sleep." Noah says.

" I have only been sleeping for......Oh, my god. You're home! Which means that it is past 5:00." I said as I shot straight up from the lawn chair that I was laying on.

" It is 5:24 to be exact." Noah says as he glances at his watch.

" S'HIT! That means that I have been out here for 4 hours." I said not believing that I fell asleep in the half shade, half sun for about four hours.

" WOW! What a productive day you had. Must be nice to own your own business and be able to take vacations any time you want to." Noah says looking directly at me.

" I DO NOT take vacations any time that I want too." I protested.

" Oh Really?! Here it is only June and you are on your....what? Eight vacation. Most people don't have that much time off in there working career." Noah says in between laughs.

" It just so happens that I have a very stress full job." I said as I cross my hands on my chest.

"Uh-huh. Looking at the computer screen while the orders pour in is really hard work!" Noah says, again, in between laughter.

" Oh! Fine....have it your way. I'll admit that having my own business does have it's own perks." I said as I roll my eyes. " Now come here and give your boyfriend a hug."

Noah put down his briefcase by the lawn chair and walked right to my opened arms. I flew my arms around him and held him tight for a moment.

" I love you, Noah. I want you to know that." I whispered in Noah's ear as my hand started to play with his hair.

" I know that already. I love you too." Noah says as I feel him snuggle up to the small of my neck.

" Ans...I'm sorry." I said as I put my hands around his back.

" Sorry for what?" Noah asked not sure why I said that.

" Sorry for this!" I said as in one swift motion, I threw him in the pool, suit and all.

I laughed hard as I watched Noah kick in his place to break through the water. Soon, Noah pops up and I sit on the edge of the pool and see that Noah swims to the edge to talk with me.

" You pushed....me into....the pool." Noah says to me.

" Is that what I did?" I said as I laughed at the look of Noah in his suit in the pool.

" You think that this is funny, huh?" Noah asked me as he glares into my eyes.

" Just a little." I answered him trying not to laugh anymore.

" Well, do you know what I think is funny?" Noah asked me with a funny looking smirk on his face.

" Whats that?" I asked Noah knowing what the answer was.

" This!" Noah says as he pulls me into the pool with him.

I held my breathe as Noah grabbed my hands. As soon as I hit the water, I started making my way to the surface. I broke through the surface, wiped my fave and searched the pool for Noah. I found him in the same spot, just enjoying himself to much from the laughing that he was doing.

" So, you think that pushing the man, that is already dressed to go swimming, in the pool, THAT funny." I said as I swam to him.

" And I suppose that you think that pushing the man with his work suit in the pool is hilarious?" Noah asked me as he puts his arms around me.

" Yeah....I kind of do!" I said as I put my head on his chest.

" Well....now I am all wet, and I think that I need to get out of this wet suit, before I get my case of a bad cold." Noah says as he gives me those bedroom eyes that I love so much.

" That will definitely not be a problem." I say to Noah as I lean in to give him a kiss.

Now, I could go on and continue to tell what Noah and I did on that Monday afternoon, by that swimming pool, but I am a nice boy. So, the conversation ends right here. However, I will say that both Noah and I were VERY satisfied and we did walk into the house with huge smiles on our face.

My adventure continues on with Tuesday, with a night out to a bar that we were told, was not friendly towards gays and lesbians. So, I decided to go and take a closer look for myself on what the owner of this club was up to. It took me a little bit of time to convince Noah to come along.

" I don't want to go out tonight, Luke. I have to work tomorrow, and although I have had my share of going into work with a hangover, I don't want to do it tomorrow." Noah says making his case known.

" Yeah, I know! You are a goody two shoes." I said as I rolled my eyes at him. " This is for a good reason."

" Being an activist for gay rights has always been your thing. I care and support your decision to do that, but you know me, I rather stay out of it." Noah tells me.

" Please, Noah. I want you there with me. I mean how else will they know that I am gay." I said hoping that that statement would convince him to come with me.

" You have my permission to flirt a little with other guys tonight. However....no kissing. I draw the line at that." Noah says to me as he walked from the kitchen to the living room and sat down on the sofa.

" Will you listen to yourself! You are giving me permission to flirt with other guys. Did you fall down and hit your head on something?" I asked Noah meaning for the question to be answered.

" Luke....I...." Noah started to say before I cut him off.

" Please Noah! I need you there with me. I'll reward you later tonight if you say that you will come with me." I said as I ran my arm down Noah's thigh.

" Stop that!" Noah said almost in a whisper.

" Stop what exactly?" I said as I continued to move my hand on his thigh.

" Luke...." Noah whispers so low, I could almost not hear it, as he continued to close his eyes, and moaned softly.

" I'll promise to continue this if you say you'll come out with me." I said as I continued to rub his thigh working my way towards my desired target.

" Agh!" Noah says moaning. " Fine. I'll go! But I'm going out tonight all for you." Noah continues to say as he gets up from the sofa and makes his way to the bedroom.

" Oh, you will love it. Now, stop trying to make it seem like this will hurt you." I yelled out to Noah.

A few moments later Noah came out dressed in his best pants

" You look beautiful." I said to Noah when I saw him walk out of our room.

" Whatever. Lets just go and get this over with." Noah says as he grabs his keys to his truck and walked out the door,

" Don't act like this is a prison sentence." I yelled out to him as I followed behind him out the door.

We drove the short distance to the bar and as soon as we drove up to it, we saw how the employees treated us once we stepped out the car at the valet drop off.

" Hi, and welcome to...." The valet started to say until he saw Noah and I holding hands. " Oh......yeah! Sorry, but valet parking is closed for the night."

" It was just opened two f'ucking seconds ago!" I yelled out in anger to the valet.

" Luke! Just calm down a little." Noah says to me as he brings me closer to him.

I looked from him to the valet and realized that what he was saying needed to be done. I wouldn't be doing any good of I get kicked out the bar before I even get in it's door. After a few short deep breathes, I came up with a plan.

" Well, since the valet parking is 'closed'...." I said making quotation marks around the word closed. " you go ahead and go park the car. I'll go in, find us a place to sit and order us a drink. Okay!"

" Okay. But.....promise me that you will not cause any trouble in there while I am going park the truck." Noah says to me.

To be honest, he should know me better that that. He knows that I will not take something like this sitting down. However, I know what I had to say to get him to go park the car.

" I promise you to be good, Noah. I'm just going to go sit at a table and wait for you to come in. Trust me." I said as I smiled at Noah.

" I shouldn't trust you in this situation, because I know you too well, but.....I somehow find myself trusting you when you say that you won't start anything. Why? Hell if I know?" Noah says as he gets in the truck and left the valet parking to go and park the truck.

" Oh, Noah!" I said as I seen that he started to drive away. " You REALLY should have gone with your feelings."

With that, I turned and started to walk into the bar. I didn't waste any time and went directly to the bar.

" What can I get for you?" the bartender asks me.

" Nothing to drink, but I would like to talk to the owner." I said to the young lady.

" Sure....I'll go get him." She says as she turns to walk in the direction of the owners office.

I sat down on the stool and started breaking off pieces of the napkins to pass the time until the owner showed up to talk with me. Luckily, it didn't take long for the owner to show up.

" So, who is it that wants to talk with me?" the owner says looking at me.

" You're looking at him." I said as I leaned on the counter.

" Look, I don't know who you are, bud, but I am in no mood to be playing around." The owner said while a hint of an attitude came out.

" Well, it is a little dark in this bar, and you can't see me all that well. How about we have a little chat in your office, where you can see me clearly." I said as I got up from the stool.

" Sure, fella. Whatever you want." The owner says as he showed me to the way to his office.

The trip to the office, gave me time to think of a game plan on what I was going to do. I know what I needed to do and say to get my point across. I just hope that he would listen to me. He walked into the office and turned to look at me.

" Now, what is it that you...." the owner said as he looked at me clearly. "YOU!"

" Yep! It's me!" I said as a smile appeared on my face.

" So, I suppose that you heard." The owner says as he sits down in his chair behind his desk.

" Oh, yeah buddy. I heard about the s'hitty way that this club is treating gays and lesbians. Actually, my partner and I just got a does of that behavior a few moments ago. Did you honestly think that you guys would get away with this?" I said as I sat down in the chair, as I continued to glare at the owner.

" Mr. Snyder. I don't know what to say to this." The owner said dumbfounded.

" You do know who my brother is, right?" I said as I leaned back in the chair.

" Yes, I know very well who your brother is." the owner says as he runs his hands through his hair.

" We may not be that close since our father is a crook, but he does owe me a favor or two. And I think the chief of police can shut down this place in a second. Know what I mean?" I asked as I leaned almost face to face with him.

" What is it exactly that you want Mr. Snyder?" He asked me as he dropped his head in his hands.

" You know exactly what it is that I want! Equal rights for gays and lesbians. Is that to much to ask for?" I yelled out as I stood up from the chair knocking it down in the process.

" Calm down, first." the owner says looking at me.

" This is me, calm. Now, can you do that one little thing for me?" I asked as I picked up the chair that I knocked over, and put it back.

" If you keep your brother of yours away from my bar, than yeah! I can do that for you." the owner tells me.

" Okay. If that gets done. you will not hear from me or my brother, but if it doesn't, than, I can't promise you anything." I said as I walked to the door to leave.

" Everyone from now on will be treated equal. You have my word." the owner tells me.

" That is all that I want from the bar." I said as I walked out of the office.

The walk back to the bar, seemed even shorter than it did before. I looked around as I walked back to the bar stool I was at before, to wait for Noah to get in, and I already could see the changes that the owner had told me about. I didn't know how it took effect that quick, but I shrugged it off. I knew that my point was made, and my work was done for that night. I started to walk toward the front door right when Noah was walking in.

" The nearest parking spot was like in the next town over, but here I am now." Noah says as he walked in and sees me by the door.

" You are going to be mad as hell at me when I say this to you, but....we can go home now." I said as I held my breathe waiting for his reply.

" WHAT? I just managed to get myself in this bar, and now you are telling me that we can leave! F'UCK THAT! You are at least going to buy me a drink before we walk out that door to leave." Noah says as he looks at me.

" That's exactly what I am planning on doing. So....lets go." I said as I grabbed his arm.

" Um.....babe.....the bar is over there." Noah says as he points to the bar.

" Yes, I know that, but, I wasn't talking about that when I said that that's exactly what I was planning on doing." I said as I made my dreamy eyes at him.

" Huh!" Noah says confused.

" You already forgot what you said?" I said with a laugh. " You said F'UCK THAT. And that is exactly what I plan on doing." I said as I grabbed his a'ss.

" Oh....well, on that note....let's go." Noah says as he grabs my arm and drags me to the door.

Again, since I am a nice boy, I will not tell you exactly what Noah and I did that night, but I can say that Noah was not complaining anymore about the long walk that he had to do to get back to the truck.

Now, on Wednesday, something totally random happened to Noah. He had this crazy but funny friend that got tired of living under his parents roof and rules, so he took off to California. That was about three months ago, and Noah did not hear anything from him. So, we thought that he just didn't make it that far. How wrong we were.

" What and the hell is up with you, jacka'ss?" Eddy says loud enough over the phone to where I could hear it across the room.

" Eddy, is that you?" Noah asks confused.

" Who else calls you jacka'ss?" Eddy asks laughing.

" I need about three hours to answer that one, Eddy." Noah answers with a laugh. " So you made it to to Cali after all?" Noah asks he he puts the phone on speaker so I can hear the conversation as well.

" Sure as hell did. And I am having so much fun here. You really need to leave that roommate of yours and move here yourself. They have all kind of hot babes here." Eddy says to Noah.

" Eddy.....they can have all the hot babes that you can stare at. That doesn't bother me....I'm gay! Remember? And Luke is not just a roommate. He is my boyfriend....my lover...the best thing that happened to me." Noah days as he gives me a wink.

" That Slinder boy is your boyfriend? Noah you can do so much better that that. I mean, what is it that you have in common. He's rich and you're.....not." Eddy rudely says.

" That's Snyder, Eddy. And I am listening to every word that you are saying." I said into Noah's phone.

" Of course you are! Hi, Luke! Better treat my boy right." Eddie says laughing.

" Your boy is not complaining one little bit." Noah explains to Eddy,

" Yeah, I know you're not. You two are always at it. You're like an old married couple.....no...I don''t know what I am trying to say anymore." Eddy says than laughs the loudest laugh possible.

" Eddy....how drunk are you?" Noah asks.

" Drunk enough. OH! You never in a million years guess what I did earlier today." Eddy said as he seems eager to get that question out in the open.

" If I won't guess it in a million years, why should I even try to." Noah says playing along with Eddy.

" Just guess!" Eddy says again.

" Eddy.....we are not going to play this game with you. If you want to tell Noah what your manage to do, that TELL HIM!' I said getting angry as I say it.

"I just love it when you get all b'itchy, Luke. It is a fun thing to watch." Eddy says with a laugh.

" It is kind of fun to watch that, but it is not fun to be on the other end of the ***** attack." Noah says as he looked at me with a smile on his face.

" Whatever.....just say what it is that you want to tell Noah, Eddy." I say as I turn my back on the entire conversation.

" Oh yeah! This is by far, the weirdest s'hit that happened to me in my entire life. I was at the beach earlier when out the corner of my eye, I see this hot chick." Eddy starts starts his story off.

" Why does every one of your story's start off with some kind of hot chick." I said as I looked at Noah.

"Oh, hush, Snyder. Just listen to the story!" Eddy says to me as a hint of frustration was evident in his voice.

" Well, sorry! Please continue on with your fascinating story here" I said as I roll my eyes.

" As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. Hot chick at the beach! Yeah, I walked right up to her and without even saying anything else, I started making out with her." Eddy says continuing his story.

" Good grief." I said to myself.

" Did this hot chick slap the s'hit out of you when she managed to get you off of her?" Noah asks wanting mote of the story.

" Are you kidding me? This chick wanted more from me." Eddy says clearly happy over that news.

" There is a first time for everything." Noah says, not truly believing what Eddy was saying.

" However......something crazy happened She stopped kissing me and started talking." Eddy says.

" Damn hot chick! Why on earth did you break up that kiss. It SUCKS when hot chicks pull that s'hit." I said doing my best to hide my laughter.

I had to duck right after I said that, because a pillow came flying at my head. I turned my head towards Noah who was smiling and doing his best not to laugh at that comment that I had just made.

" Exactly. The hot chick starts to talk about her family and s'hit and where they were from and all that s'hit. And some interesting s'hit came out of her mouth." Eddy explains to us.

" Okay, I'll bite. What was the interesting s'hit that she had to say?" Noah asks Eddy.

" She starts to tell me who her parents were and low and behold she is my cousin. Her mom and my mom are half sisters. How f'ucking gross is that?" Eddy says making gagging sounds.

" So, let me get this straight. The hot chick that you just started making out with is actually your cousin?" Noah asked as he holds his mouth down in an attempt to not laugh.

" And you know what? I think that faith did that to me on purpose since I gave up on finding my true love. All that I want to do is find that next piece of a'ss to hit." Eddy says.

" You.......dork!" I said as I couldn't hold in my laughter in any more.

" Oh....look at that a'ss. Oh yeah, I will be tapping that soon." Eddy says, then hangs up the phone.

" Noah," I said as soon as Noah closed his phone. " I don't want to tell you who should be your friends, but that loser, you need to drop like a bad habit."

" Eddy isn't that bad. He's just a horny little s'hit. That's all, He's totally innocent." Noah says trying his best to explain Eddy's behavior.

" Innocent my a'ss!" I yelled.

" Well, he does have the right idea...about tapping some nice a'ss tonight." Noah says with that special look in his eyes.

" Again? That's three nights in a row," I say in shock from hearing that Noah was ready again.

" What can I say? I have this super fine boyfriend that I love so much. I just want to show him how much I love him." Noah says as he starts to kiss my neck.

He knew that that was my hot zone and would make me get in the mood.

" Oh, Noah!" I moaned as he continued to kiss my neck.

" You like this?" Noah asks as he moves his hands over my inner thighs.

" You know the....." I started to say, but was cut off when I felt Noah starting to unbutton the top button of my blue jeans.

" Still complaining about being in the mood three times in a row." Noah says as he slowly starts to unzip my zipper.

" No, sir." I said as I took off his shirt and start to kiss his chest.

" Want to.....take this upstairs to the bedroom?" Noah asked me as he slipped his hand into my jeans.

" Dumb question." I said as I grabbed his hand and walked to the bedroom.

Once in the room, Noah kissed me until we were both on the bed. As soon as we were both on the bed, Noah continued to kiss me as he worked his way down my body until he reached......and that's where my story ends for the night. I already told you....I'm a nice boy!

Now, Thursday......Thursday is when things got ugly.....and I mean REALLY ugly.

It doesn't matter how the fight started, the only thing that truly matters is that words were thrown that should have stayed in the mouth.

" What the f'uck is your problem, Luke? Are you back on the drugs?" Noah asked hoping that the answer would be in his favor.

" And do you really give a rat's a'ss about me doing drugs or not Noah? You're just mad and you are taking it out on me and that s'hit needs to quit." I scream out at Noah.

" You think if I wouldn't give a s'hit about you, would I even bother asking that question?" Noah asks getting frustrated.

" Just shut the f'uck up Noah!" I yelled as I ran upstairs to our bathroom.

I knew that Noah would soon be right behind me and I did not have any time to waste. So, I went directly to my hidden stash and got it out. As soon as I had it in my hand good enough, I turned to walk out the door. I wasn't even able to make it a half a step into our room, and Noah was on the room with me.

" I knew it! I f'ucking knew it. You are back in that s'hit! What is it this time? What crap did you manage to get your self hooked onto now?" Noah screams out to me.

" You have that little faith in me, huh?" I asked as I held out the bag for him. " This is just crushed up tylenol."

" Now what and the hell are you doing with crushed up Tylenol?" Noah asks not believing one word that I was saying.

" It is to make a paste for when my tooth starts to act up on me, like it does sometimes." I explained to Noah, but knowing it was for nothing.

" BULL S'HIT Luke. I know that you take harder stuff when you get a toothache. So, why don't you do yourself a favor and admit it to me as well as to yourself that you are back on that s'hit." Noah says as he looks from the bag to me.

I don't know what it was that happened to me at that moment, but a wave of anger came to me as soon as Noah said those words. It almost felt like I had no control over my own body. Before I knew it, I had the entire contents out the bag, spilled out on the dressed. I found a dollar bill, and wound it up tight.

" Since you don't believe me....Mr. Mayer, I have no choice than to take it the way that you think I take it, right in front of your face."

And with that I snorted a line of crushed up tylenol, then looked up at Noah. His face was priceless, and I could not help myself from laughing at his expression. The laugh started off light, but soon enough, the light laugh, turned into a horrendous laugh.

" Now, you think that s'hit is f'ucking funny? You think that you being back in the drugs is something to be laughing about?" Noah asks as he puts his hands on his hips.

" IF I would be back on drugs, I wouldn't be laughing at this. I am laughing at the face that you are making." I said to Noah explaining myself between laughs.

" Oh, really. You are such an a'sshole. Don't you know that I can see right through you when you lie. Just admit it to yourself. You are back on the f'ucking drugs." Noah says at me with such a tone that I was almost scared to look at him.

I could feel my fear slowly turning to anger. That anger soon took over me, as I spoke exactly what it was that I was thinking to Noah.

" You know what, you little sack of s'hit? You are going to believe whatever it is that you want to believe no matter what I say, so why and the f'uck should I even bother. You go ahead and believe that I am back on the drugs all you want.....see if I give a f'uck. I can't believe that the one time that I f'ucked up is still haunting me." I yelled at Noah.

" Well, what do you want me to believe Luke? You are acting the same way that you were back then." Noah asks as his voice lowers showing that he was calming down.

" Like I told you, Noah, you believe whatever you want to believe." I said as I left the room, pushing Noah out my way.

I ran all the way down the stairs and did not stop until I reached my keys and wallet. I tried hard not to slow down as I grabbed the items, but my attempt failed.

" Where do you think you are going?" Noah asked as he grabbed my hand that held my keys.

" Anywhere!" I yelled in his face as I yanked my hand away from Noah and started to walk to the front door.

" If you leave now, you might as well stay gone." Noah says as he stands by the front door.

I stopped dead in my tracks, and slowly turned to face Noah. The steam that was coming from my ears was, I'm sure visible for all to see. I slowly turned around to face Noah.

" Well, let me tell you one thing, Mr. 'Do No Wrong' Mayer. If all that you are going to do is assume that I am back on drugs and not believe me when I say that I'm not then...goodbye, Noah." I said as I got in my car and started it up.

I put the car in reverse and hauled tail out of the driveway. It wasn't until I was three miles down the road that I noticed that tears were running down my face. It was getting harder and harder for me to concentrate on the road, but I needed to get where I needed to go.

Noah meant what he said. I decided to leave and I know that he wouldn't even think about taking me back no matter how hard I begged him too. My life was nothing without Noah. NOTHING! It would be just an empty shell. I knew what I needed to do and where I needed to do it at.

The drive did not take long for me to get there. As soon as I got there, I got out the car and climbed to the opposite side of the bridge. I looked down at the water below me and knew that all that I had to do was let go of the railing and it would be over for me. Then...it hit me. All the good memories that I had with Noah came flooded back in my brain. I knew that those memories were going to be the last ones. So, I held my breathe and prepared myself to let go.

" But.....he still loves you." A voice inside my head says.

"But....I walked out on him when he told me that if I walked out to not come back. Face it! It's over between Noah and I." I said arguing with my own self.

I leaned over again to look at the water and prepared myself to drop in the water. Everything was turned inside out and outside in. I waited it all to end and letting go now will be the easiest way to do that.

" But....he still loves you." that same voice said again.

" Will you shut up and leave me the f'uck alone!" I said again arguing with myself.

" BUT....HE ....STILL...LOVES.....YOU!" The voice stresses out to me.

" UGH!" I said out loud as I stood straight up. " Fine! Have it your way! Noah still loves me, but he is pissed off at me. Plus he doesn't trust me." I concluded as I got on the right side of the bridge.

" Give him time to cool off.....he still loves you." The same voice tells me again.

" Will you just shut up?" I said out loud "I'll let him cool off tonight and I will go back to him tomorrow."

I then pulled up a little bit more and pulled off on the side of the road. I decided to sleep there for the night and also gave me enough time to think of a way to apologize to Noah.

That Friday morning I was up with the sun. I stretched a little and started to drive my way back to my house that I shared with Noah, or so I still hope that it was still mine and Noah's. I pull into the drive way and noticed that none of my belongs that belonged inside were outside. So, I took that as a good sign.....that Noah did not throw my things outside.

Carefully, I opened the door to the house and looked around the room. Everything was still in it;s right place, which to me seemed like another good sign. But there was one thing missing, one major important thing....Noah.

"Noah!" I yelled out. "Please tell me that you are still home."

I walked around for a bit more and still nothing could be heard.

" Noah. Come out and talk to me for a moment. This entire situation needs to be dealt with. Please come and talk with me."

I continued to walk on and soon I saw something in the corner of the room that caught my eye. I walked to it and realized that it was Noah curled up in a blanket. From just his appearance, it looked like he had been crying all night.

" Noah." I said softly as I placed my hand on his shoulder. " I love you so much and I am sorry for everything."

Noah continued to sleep on, so I decided to leave until he called me to talk to me. I got up from the ground and walked towards the door.

" No!" I heard Noah say.

I turned back to look at him and seen that he was now awake and looking at me.

" Oh god, Noah. I'm so...." I started to say but was cut off.

" No! Don't be sorry. This is not your fault. I should have trusted you when you told me that you weren't taking drugs again. Actually, the entire fight should had never taken place." Noah says as he slowly gets up from the ground.

" Do you even remember what the fight was about?" I asked Noah.

" You know.....it was noting important. All I know is that I am sorry that I hurt you. It was only that one time that you used drugs. I should had believed you when you told me that it was only crushed tylnoel." Noah says apologizing to me, as he rubs my arm.

" It did hurt when you didn't believe me, but I do understand why you didn't." I said as I looked at him in the eyes.

" So, do you forgive me?" Noah asks me as he holds me at arms length.

" Only if you forgive me!" I replied.

Noah said nothing more, and attacked my lips. The kiss was intense and I didn't stop him when he explored my mouth for more. The love that we shared was still there.

" I love you, Luke. And I was wrong when I said that if you would leave not to come back." Noah says as he stops kissing me long enough to say.

" I love you too, Noah. Now, less talking and more kissing." I said as i lean in to kiss Noah's neck.

" Yes, sir." Noah says as he grabs my chin and pulls me to him.

Noah kisses me again with the same intensity as he did the first time. The next thing I know was that Noah was walking me upstairs to our bedroom. Something in me felt like being courageous, and stopped him on the steps.

" What? Right here? Are you sure?" Noah asked me surprised about the sudden move.

" Why not? We own the house! And besides....I don't think that I can make it to the bedroom." I said as I started to unbutton Noah's shirt.

" The bedroom is only....UGH." Noah starts to say as I start to kiss his bare chest.

" Just....shh and enjoy this." I said as I unbuttoned his blue jeans and stuck my hand in his jeans to find what it is that I was looking for.

" OH...MY....GOD!" was the only thing that Noah was able to say before collapsing on his back.

Now, I could tell you in great detail what Noah and I did on that stairway. I could tell you how much Noah moaned and groaned and called out my name in ecstasy. I could tell you hoe we tried to cover that stain on the step...but I can't. For I am a nice boy and nice boys don't kiss and tell....or in this case, f'uck and tell.

" You know, Luke." Noah says in a relaxed voice. " We shouldn't have done that on the stairs like that. We just acted like a pair of horny teenagers who had to hurry up and **** before a parent would come home. I mean this only took us what? About half a minute."

" This? Oh, this was just a warm up for what;s next to come." I said as I stood up and walked up the stairs.

As soon as I got to the top of the stairs, I looked down at Noah and smiled big.

" Are you coming hot stuff? Are or you just going to sit there." I said as I leaned on the railing.

" Oh, I'm coming. I'm just enjoying the view from down here." Noah says as he gets up from the stairs that he was laying on and ran to catch me.

We both ran to the bedroom, where we made love yet again. After the love making, I sat in Noah's arms enjoying the afterglow.

" That was a stupid fight that we had." I said to Noah.

" It was! For just one brief moment we forgot that we love each other so much. Lets promise each other, to never forget that love that we share again." Noah tells me as he pulls me closer to him.

" Now, that is one thing that I can promise you. I love you Noah. Always." I say as I kissed Noah on his closed eye.

" And I love you too. Always." Noah says as he kiss me and starts to make his way on top of me where we again gave into our love.

Now what happened Saturday made me so mad that I wanted to spit fire. The same bar that I just had a talk to about treating gays and lesbians with the same respect as everyone else, started treating them ugly again.

This time around, I decided to just go to my brother and inform him of the news. The owner did not seem to get my warning the first time. So, it was time to take it up a notch and back up my promise to the owner. That my brother would be called if things were not better.

My brother assured me that he would go and take a little ride to the bar and make sure to tell the owner that it will not be tolerated for the owner to treat any one different. However, when I went and poked my nose to see if he came, no one could tell me for sure if he showed up or not. They only could tell me that a black Mercedes passed by....the type of car that my brother drives.

I knew that it wasn't an election year, so my brother really wasn't trying hard to solve the problem. So, I decided to go and solve it myself.

I go to the bar with the speech that I had to prepared all in my head. My plans was to stay only for the short period of time, just to make my point across, so I didn't even tell Noah where I was going. I opened the door to the bar and saw the faces of the bartenders when I walked in. I knew that everything that I was told was true. There was no turning back now.

I got on the stage and grabbed the microphone from the DJ and took a deep breathe.

" Hello all. I'm going to make this short as I can so just bare with me a little. I'm not sure how many of you out here know me, but I am Luke Snyder and I am gay. My partner and I came to this bar a few days ago and we were treated horrible. And the reason for that treatment was only because we are gay, That is wrong on all levels. We are all humans here and we all have feelings just the same. It isn't fair to be treated in this manner. We are born to be this way. So, I beg for you to leave the bar tonight and never come back to this place." I said to the crowd.

I looked among the crowd, and no one budged an inch. It was then that I realized that I needed a stronger speech to get to them. Somehow, I needed to do that some how I needed to find a way to get to them. Just at that moment, I knew how to get to them.

" I know that everyone here in this room knows how I am feeling at this moment. Everyone here has been discriminated for something or another. It could be because of the color of your skin, or how tall or short you are. It is always something to do with something you have no control over. Something that we were born to be. Remember the time that you were in school and someone wouldn't let you participate in something that you truly wanted to do, or gave you a hard time while you were doing it. That feeling is horrible, isn't it? Luckily some discrimination ends, but others continue on. I'm asking you....no I am begging you, lets help one discrimination today. Let's walk out this place now and never look back." I said finishing my speech.

I looked again among the crowd, and this time I could see people talking with others. I could tell that this time I managed to hit some people's attention. I gave the microphone back to the DJ and I slowly walked down from the stage. That was when something started to happen that I never thought would happen. One person started to clap, than another, then another, until slowly the entire place was clapping for me.

" I never thought of it like that." Someone said from the audience tells me as he shakes my hand.

" Well, I am happy that you see it like that now." I said as I continued to shake his hand.

" Thank you. I am done with this bar, and so is all of my friends. We will no longer step floor in here...until they take care of this situation." The person says to me.

" On that note, I say thank you." I said as I turned to walk out the bar.

The walk to my car was a short one, but I was all smiles the entire walk. I was never more proud of myself. I made it to my car and sat in it and watched as about 90% of the bar walked out of the bar. It wasn't until that moment that I realized that my speech went off well. I put the car in drive and I soon left the parking lot just as happy as I could be.

Then comes Sunday, where mostly, I got endless calls from people that were at the bar that said that I was amazing the night before. It didn't hit me until about the 20th call that I did a good thing at the bar, but not just for gays, and lesbians but for everyone. I felt honored that I this.

" Are you going to get that, Mr. 'Do Good." Noah asks as the phone continues to ring.

" If I have to say 'your welcome' one more time I might go insane." I said as I picked up the phone. " Hello."

"Mr. Snyder." Mr. Bogard, the owner of the bar yells into the phone.

" I was wondering when you were going to call me." I said as I sat back down on the sofa.

"Do you know what you did to me and my bar?" ,Mr. Bogard madly asked.

" Do you know that I don't give a s'hit? I gave you fair warning earlier this week and you chose to ignore them. So, I kind of put matters into my own hands and let everyone know what kind of bar owner you are. You have no one to blame but yourself." I yelled just as madly as he did.

" I honestly think that what you did is against some kind of law. I will be looking into it. Trust me on that!" Mr. Bogard says, treating me.

" Well, Mr. Bogard, you go ahead and do that, however, I do believe that the joke would be one you." I said as a smile started to form on my face.

" What kind of nonsense are you talking about?" Mr. Bogard asks me.

" No nonsense, sir. You call the cops to check on me, the will also check on you. And I am sure that all those underage people that you served alcohol to will sing like a little birdie." I said to Mr. Bogard.

" You.....jacka'ss." Mr. Bogard screamed into the phone.

" That, I maybe, but you get what you get, when you mess with someone like me." I said as I hung up the phone.

" And that's my baby." Noah says as he comes to me and hugs me tightly.

" I do believe I put him out of business, but like I said, I don't give a s'hit." I said as I pulled Noah away at arms distance.

" I just love it when you get all excited about something. It just turns me on so much. You have no idea how much." Noah says as he licks his lips.

" I think that I have a clue." I said as I grabbed Noah's hands and bring him upstairs.

Now, again Noah and I did some things that would make the innocent boy blush. I sit there in the other room enjoying my afterglow. Now, I know that all of you would like for me to give details of that evening. But I simply can't and all of you know the reason for that. It is because I am a nice.....

" Luke Snyder, if you say that you are a nice boy one more time, I might just throw my shoe at you." A familiar voice says to me.

" Oh....my....god... I would know that voice anywhere." I said as I turn my head in the direction of the voice. "TINA!"

" That's right! Now you go back in that bed and you do what......um.....not so nice boys do." She says then disappears before me.

So, maybe she's right, maybe I'm not that much of a good boy, but I am so good at being bad.

This week that I just told you about was crazy, and if not for Tina, I might have had gone crazy as well. So, Mrs. Tina, you did it once again. You somehow helped me along in life, and with my relationship with Noah. She is the steel claw that holds my life together.

THE END!!!

Love heals all wounds - Chp. 15

CasaLuna — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:44:15 CDT

Title: Love heals all wounds
Chapter: 15
Characters: Luke, Noah, Jack, Samuel
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~ 2,400
Beta: geezlouise
Disclaimer: This is just for fun. I don’t own, characters (except Samuel) belong to ATWT, CBS, P&G, etc.

While Jack took Samuel Smith into the police department’s interrogation room, Luke thanked his mom for her help in getting the man who claimed to be Noah’s boyfriend to the station and then called Memorial to take a personal leave day.

Things were getting more complicated by the minute Luke thought as he walked to the interrogation room door. “This morning I woke up in bed with Noah, who’s probably as confused as I am about what happened between the two of us. And Rachel’s probably chopping at the bit to tell me how many times she warned me not to get involved with him.’

Luke peered into the room as he reached for the door handle. ’Then this guy shows up saying that Noah is actually somebody named Seth Hansen, his long-lost boyfriend.’

"Sorry. Didn’t mean to keep you waiting,” Luke said, sliding into the chair next to Jack and across the table from Smith. “Just had to check in with my service.“

Jack was discussing Smith’s background check done by Detective Dallas Griffin. “You appear to be a model citizen, Mr. Smith. Not even a parking ticket.”

“I could have told you that if you had bothered to ask,” Smith charged. “But since you have thoroughly checked me out, can someone please tell me why I’m being kept from my boyfriend? How is my Seth?”

Luke and Jack exchanged looks before Luke answered.

“Mr. Smith,” Luke’s eyes narrowed. “Noah’s been through a lot. It’s more than just the amnesia. He was quite badly burned. He underwent a series of plastic surgery procedures. As you can expect, he’s still healing from both his physical as well as his psychological injuries.”

“Oh my poor Seth. He really doesn’t remember anything about his past?” asked Smith, his eyes glistening.

“He’s remembered a few things from his life before the accident, but nothing really useful in discovering who Noah was . . .” Luke’s voice trailed off. “That’s why it became so important to get out what we did know to the press and to law enforcement agencies across the country.”

As he listened to the psychologist, Smith shook his head apparently saddened by the struggle his boyfriend had faced over the past few months.

“Sir, you can imagine the risks associated with putting an amnesia victim’s likeness out there, asking that anyone who knows this person to come forward,” Jack said. “Just a few weeks ago, a woman showed up at the hospital claiming that Noah was her son. She went-- “

“That's impossible." Smith interrupted. "Seth's parents died in a car accident, when he was 11. Left without any living relatives, he became a ward of the state. Seth spent the rest of his childhood in an orphanage.”

Jack glanced at Luke before continuing. "The woman I just mentioned barged into his hospital room and told Noah she believed he was her son, Mike. And then just as quickly she decided he wasn’t and quickly left.”

A shocked Samuel covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oh my God. How heartless can one person be. "

"Yeah, Noah didn't take it very well." Luke explained. "We couldn’t let that happen again. That’s why we wanted to meet you here first. We want to make sure that you really know him and that he is really Seth Hansen."

Smith nodded. "Of course. I understand."

"Uhm… Mr. Smith, one thing still puzzles me about your story," Jack said with a slight smile. "Why did it take you so long to come forward? I mean the pictures of Noah have been on the internet and in the newspapers for weeks now."

"Seth and I had a big fight the last time we saw each other,” Smith said casting his eyes downward.

“When was that?” asked the detective.

"Three months ago." Smith said. “You have to understand. Our relationship was great at first. But then I changed jobs and I started traveling a lot on work-related business. We ended up barely seeing each other. That led to a lot of fights until we broke up.”

"What is it that you do for a living?“ Jack wanted to check Smith’s response against the background report.

"I’m a senior field service representative for Emmorton Allied Systems, a global electronics firm. Seth couldn’t deal with me traveling so much.“ Smith buried his face in his hands. "I feel so bad about the way I left him. "

"So you broke up with him. Just like that!“ Jack snapped his fingers.

Smith looked up and snorted.

"It wasn't just like that. It was really hard for me. But Seth gave me no choice." he sighed. "I really loved him. I still do. I prayed that Seth after given some time to think about it would agree to giving us another chance.”

Neither Jack nor Luke seemed to be buying Smith’s explanation.

"How long did you wait before trying to get back in touch with Seth once you broke up. Didn’t you think it was strange that he didn’t return your calls?“ Jack peppered Smith with questions. “Did you ever see the picture on the internet or the news?"

"I did see the picture on CNN. But I really didn‘t look at it, you know. I didn’t put the guy in the photo and Seth together. For all I knew he was still safe and sound in Chicago." Smith explained. “After I got home from my last business trip - eight days ago - I decided to go by and see him at our old apartment. You know, maybe to try to work things out."

But when Smith didn’t find Seth at the apartment, he told Jack and Luke, he started checking out the couple’s old haunts and friends. But there was no trace of Seth to be found.

“It was if he had dropped off the face of the earth.”

When Smith stumbled over the picture again in the internet, he looked at it more closely and saw the similarity between of Seth's and Noah's eyes.

"Do you have a picture of Seth with you?" Jack asked.

"Of course! Here. . ." Samuel pulled a small photograph out of his wallet. He laid it on the table in front of Luke and Jack. "There. That's my Seth."

Jack snatched the photo and held it up close. He tried to see the likeness.

"Here, you should look at this, “ he said, passing the picture to his cousin. “You know him better."

Luke studied the photo. He couldn’t help but notice the same beautiful set of blue eyes. "You're right sir. The eyes are quite similar."

"So, does that mean I can see him now?" Samuel asked excitedly.

"Not quite yet. I have a few more questions." Jack said. "Doesn't Seth have any other friends who expressed concern about missing him?"

Samuel shook his head. "Not really. He always been a loner ever since the time he spent in the children's home. Sometimes we were going out with a few friends of mine. But I was the only one who was really close to him."

"What is Seth’s job?" Jack asked.

"He’s a weapons specialist for a military contractor."

If what Smith was saying was true, Jack knew Seth/Noah’s fingerprints would be on file due to the sensitive nature of his job. He figured Dallas, who was still working on that background check, would found them if they existed.

"So do you have any idea who could have attacked Seth? Set him on fire?“

"Not really." Samuel shrugged his shoulders and swallowed hard. "I ... is it possible that he ... God I can't even say it."

"What? That he may have tried to kill himself?" Jack finished the thought for Smith. He nodded. "It's possible. But why would he do it and why here? Had he been here before. . . perhaps with you?"

"No. I've never been in Oakdale before today and neither has Seth as far as I know. I don‘t ever remember him mentioning your town."

"Will you excuse us for a moment?" Jack said and nodded to Luke to follow him outside.

"Well, do you believe him?" Luke asked once they were in the hallway.

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Right now there’s no reason not to."

"I guess." Luke sighed. “But there's just something he said that doesn’t add up. But I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well there‘s no way we can keep him from seeing Noah much longer?”

Just then Dallas holding a computer printout walked up.

"Jack, here’s that background report on Seth Hansen you wanted,” Dallas said as he handed the file to his colleague.

"Thanks, man." Jack opened the file. "Well, it seems Smith was telling the truth. Seth Hansen is a weapons specialist for Martin and Roebuck based in Lake Forest, Illinois. They reported him missing around the same time, Noah was found outside that abandoned house in Old Town.”

Luke tilted his head toward his cousin. “So what do we do now?"

"I think you’re the best person to tell Noah about Mr. Smith’s visit. The missing pieces are coming together indicating that Noah is really Seth Hansen. But we need to compare his fingerprints with what’s on file at the NLEC. I’ll get in touch with the folks at Martin and Roebuck and see if they can provide us with any more information.“

Luke looked back at Smith still in the interrogation room.

“What about him?“

“I don’t think he and Noah should have their reunion quite yet. While you’re at the farm talking with Noah, I’ll get Smith's contact information and tell him we’ll be touch."

* * * * * * * * * *

All the way out to the farm Luke wrestled with just how to break the news to Noah, how to tell him that the authorities were almost sure he was Seth Hansen.

Luke was no closer to creating a game plan, when his Jeep pulled up in front of the Snyder farm house. Still deep in thought, Luke opened the porch screen door causing a near collusion with Ethan.

“Whoa. Hey there, little brother. What’s the big hurry?"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Don't ask!" he mumbled before pushing aside Luke.

Shaking his head, Luke entered the kitchen to find his grandmother working on a crossword puzzle at the table.

"Hey grandma," Luke said as he kissed her on the check.

"Luke. It's so good to see you again."

"So. . . what's wrong with Ethan?"

"Oh, don't worry about him. It's called puberty."

Luke chuckled. "Where's Noah? I need to talk him about something."

"He said he wanted to take a nap after such a big night out. That was two hours ago.” Emma explained. "He’s staying in your old room, you know. You might try knocking on the door."

Luke soon found himself outside the bedroom door. He listened for a moment and then gently knocked.

"Noah?" He knocked again. "Noah, it's me Luke. I need to talk to you."

Luke heard the bed frame creek and footsteps coming closer. A groggy Noah opened the door.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Is it past dinner time already. I didn‘t sleep that long, did I?"

"No. No. It's almost noon. I came here to talk to you."

Luke’s heartstrings pulled at how sweet Noah looked right after waking up. The sight sent Luke back to the scene in his kitchen earlier that day.

"Hmmm. Why don't we go down to the living room to talk?"

"Sure." Noah said nervously and started to follow Luke downstairs.

'He really did came here to talk to me about last night? God I am so nervous. What is he going to say?'

Once the two settled on the couch, it was Noah, who broached the subject of what happened in Luke’s apartment.

"Luke, about last night --"

"I am not here to talk to you about last night."

"What? I thought… But you said we are going to ---"

"I know. But let's just say it was a mistake and it won't happen again." Luke said, even he doubted his own words. But there was no way that he could deal with that situation right now.

Luke’s reluctance to discuss what happened between them sent Noah's mind spinning. He felt like somebody had ripped out his heart. Luke was talking again. But Noah didn't understand what he was saying until he suddenly felt Luke’s hand on his shoulder.

"Do you hear what I said?"

"Um...sorry. What did you say?" Noah asked trying to focus on Luke's voice.

"I said somebody showed up here in Oakdale today, saying that he knows you. His name is Samuel Smith." Luke said in a soft voice as he gently rested his hand on Noah’s arm.

"What? I don't understand." Noah searched Luke’s face. ‘What did he say? Does somebody actually know who I am?’

"Jack and I talked with this guy for nearly an hour at headquarters. He told us your name is Seth Hansen and he’s your boyfriend. He said you two used to live together in Chicago and that you worked for a military contractor.

Noah shook his head and closed his eyes. "None of that sounds familiar, Luke. Are you sure I know him?"

"Hey, look at me," Luke softly said as he lifted up Noah’s chin.

Noah gave Luke his complete attention.

"We have to go to the police station. They need to get a set of your fingerprints to compare with those on file with the National Law Enforcement Center. If the comparison results in a positive match, we’ll have definite proof that you are Seth Hansen.”

Luke heard Noah breathing hard. "Are you ready to do this?"

"I don't know." Noah muttered. "Will he be there? You know --"

"Samuel Smith? No, I don’t think so,” Luke explained. “Jack and I thought it would be better for you not to meet with him before we're completely sure you're Seth Hansen."

"Good. I mean not that I don't want to meet him. I just can't go through something like Jane West again. I need to be absolutely sure this time."

"I know." Luke said and squeezed Noah's hand.

"What else did he tell you? Did he have a picture?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, he showed it to us. Your eyes are quite similar to this Seth Hansen. But this guy - Smith - kept the photo.” Luke stood up from the couch. “Are you ready to go?"

"Will you come with me?" Noah asked looking up at Luke.

"I will be right by your side."

CasaLuna

CasaLuna — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:43:07 CDT

Author: CasaLuna / Claudia

Love heals all wounds

Prologue ♥ Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4 ♥ Chapter 5
Chapter 6 ♥ Chapter 7 ♥ Chapter 8 ♥ Chapter 9 ♥ Chapter 10 ♥ Chapter 11
Chapter 12 ♥ Chapter 13 ♥ Chapter 14 ♥ Chapter 15

I'll be there for you
~ Luke and 10-year old Ethan move to New York together. Noah is a writer.

Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4 ♥ Chapter 5 ♥ Chapter 6
Chapter 7 ♥ Chapter 8 ♥ Chapter 9 ♥ Chapter 10 ♥ Chapter 11 ♥ Chapter 12

The real me
~ Luke is living a lie, but what happened to him?

Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4 ♥ Chapter 5
Chapter 6 ♥ Chapter 7 ♥ Chapter 8 ♥ Chapter 9 ♥ Chapter 10 ♥ Chapter 11

(Never) without you
~ Sequel to The real me

Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4 ♥ Chapter 5
Chapter 6 ♥ Chapter 7 ♥Chapter 8 ♥Chapter 9 ♥ Chapter 10

Listen to your heart

~ Luke and Noah are friends, both are gay,
but they don´t have feelings for each other.
But then Noah meets Alex ...

Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4
Chapter 5 ♥ Chapter 6 ♥ Chapter 7 ♥ Chapter 8

Family Secrets
~ Luke and Noah both grow up in Oakdale,
but the are not supposed to talk to each other.

Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4 ♥ Chapter 5 ♥ Chapter 6
Chapter 7 ♥ Chapter 8 ♥ Chapter 9 ♥ Chapter 10 ♥ Chapter 11 ♥ Chapter 12 ♥ Chapter 13

New guy in Oakdale
~ A new guy is coming to Oakdale

Chapter 1 ♥ Chapter 2 ♥ Chapter 3 ♥ Chapter 4 ♥Chapter 5
Chapter 6 ♥ Chapter 7 ♥ Chapter 8 ♥ Chapter 9 ♥ Epilogue

One-Shots

Surprises
7 months and 11 days
Never again
You belong to me
I need you
As long as we're here
That's what friends are for

Chapter 5 - Newspapers clippings

Bitrixbf — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 14:31:09 CDT

Title: Again and Again
Chapter: 5 - Newspapers clippings
Rating: PG
Characters: Noah
Genre: AU
Warnings: English is not my native language
Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

"THE LONELY FLIER"

The lonely flier… that’s what Luke had called him in the article. Some sentences he knew by heart now…

Wherever you are, Mayer, take care. That had been a nice way of finishing the article. Noah put the paper clipping away in the drawer of his desk. He had checked the newspapers for days until Luke’s column was on. After that article about that morning together in his chopper Luke’s column had started being on every day and Noah never failed to read it.

He had breakfast with Luke every morning. It was always the same, Luke’s column and a coffee. He had been surprised to see himself on it once again.

"THE LOST BOY AND THE LOST MAN"

That had been the title of that day’s column. Noah had held his breath while reading the article featuring him and the caring man

Noah looked at the last words of that day’s column. Was it a coincidence that he was using that again? “Wherever you are”. He was sure Luke didn’t know that he was the same person that had talked so harshly about Romeo and Juliet that day a few years back, when they were both teenagers. And he didn’t know that he was the lonely pilot either, for that matter. There was no way he could know.

Noah liked it that way and with that he was content. He had found the series of small serendipities to be a balsam for his tired and lonely heart, but sometimes he found himself wishing… that they wouldn’t find each other by coincidence here and there; that they could be friends somehow…

He put the new clipping with the old one and looked through the window. Another day was starting but somehow he didn’t care much about new days anymore. Every day was just as the one before, he didn’t have any expectations and he had given up dreaming a while ago.

Days went by and just as he knew nothing ever changed. He kept flying helping people around but it didn’t fill his days and least of it his nights. His only breather was Luke’s column, for a moment he felt connected with him. He felt less alone when he was reading what Luke had thought and typed.

He went through his early morning daily routine without thinking. He poured coffee in a cup and sat down to read Luke’s column.

Noah put the newspaper clipping down on the table and realized that his hands were shaking. He stood up and walked a few steps back and forth. He scratched his head thinking… he knows. Luke knows about him, he knows it’s been him every time. He wasn’t sure when Luke knew, but he did know now. And the thought scared him. He seemed to read him so well that Noah felt weak at the knees. No one knew him that well, and suddenly the stupid kid he had been back then was transparent to Luke.

He looked at the announcement under Luke’s column that day.

National best-selling author Luke Snyder will be signing his book, “Dark places”
When: 6 to 9 p.m., Thursday, Oct. 24
Where: Borders bookstore, 2833 King Ave. W
Billings, MT 59102

So Luke would be in Montana the next day. He could go to Billings; it would take him a few hours by car… He knew he had written a book, had read about the thriller on the Internet and he knew that he was signing books in a few important cities. He never knew Billings would be part of the signing tour.

He wanted the book, and although he knew he could just buy online, seeing Luke again… could he take the risk of Luke seeing him?

He could just go and see him from afar, buy the book and leave. Just that. There was no need to get Luke to sign the book, was it? He just wanted to see him again. And he couldn’t wait for fate to make them meet again in a few years time. Seeing him every few years was not enough anymore.

Chapter 6